Josh sighed. Lowering his gaze to the ground again, he turned away slightly, so that Luke couldn't see his face. He still wasn't quite sure whether or not it would be a good idea to tell Luke what he was feeling then. He was having qualms about it; he knew he couldn't tell any of the other guys....at least not yet, anyway. Could he tell Luke?
Luke watched his friend curiously, trying to read his mind, but not being able to figure out what Josh was thinking. Josh was being extremely discreet about the whole matter, so it was hard to tell what exactly he was thinking.
Maybe it's too sudden to ask if he is head over heels, Luke thought, as he continued to look at his friend. After all, I'm not getting anything out of him....yet.
Luke tapped Josh on his left shoulder. "Um, Josh?"
"Yeah?" Josh responded, still averting his eyes on the ground.
"Gee.....what's going on with you, man? I've never seen you like this before." Luke scratched his head, puzzled by his friend's behavior.
"Maybe because I've never felt this way before," Josh mumbled under his breath.
Luke's head perked up. "Huh? What was that you said?"
Josh jumped a little. "Oh, um, nothing. Never mind," he said quickly.
Luke shook his head. "Uh-uh -- no, no. I heard you. You said, 'Maybe because I've never felt this way before'....didn't you?" He raised an eyebrow, giving Josh a knowing look.
Josh sighed again. "All right, yeah, fine. I guess."
"So, what is it exactly that's making you feel this way?" Luke questioned.
Josh didn't say anything. He remained quiet, as he continued to look at the ground.
Luke tilted his chin up, as he scrutinized his friend. "This is about her, isn't it? It's about Kristyn....isn't it." He looked at Josh expectantly.
Josh pushed back his hair with his left hand, raising his eyes slightly off the ground. After a long moment, he finally spoke.
"It is about her," Josh confessed slowly.
Luke raised an eyebrow. "Uh-huh," he said, nodding. I thought so, he thought.
Josh shook his head. "I don't know....it's really weird. It's just....it's just hard to describe, really. I mean, I can't stop thinking about her. When I don't see her, I want to see her....I miss seeing her. And when I do see her, I feel like something inside me is soaring....I mean, wow. I-I can't explain it....it's just this really amazing, incredible feeling I get, just by seeing her...." He trailed off.
Luke eyes were wide open. "Wow...." he breathed, gaping at Josh.
"And she's so amazing," Josh went on, not paying attention to Luke's face. "I've never known any other girl like her. She's really like....perfect, more or less. I mean, she's really bright, intelligent, kind....amiable, caring....thoughtful, considerate....gracious, upright....athletic, fit...." His expression softened. "Not to mention really beautiful....both inside and out."
Luke stared at his friend. "Gee, you're totally, completely smitten over her. You really are infatuated with her, aren't you."
"She's really unique, you know...." Josh murmured, without acknowledging anything Luke was saying. "There's no one else like her. Just....really special."
"Hello? Earth to Josh....are you in there...?" Luke asked, looking at his friend closely.
"Huh?" Josh snapped out of his moment of daydreaming.
Luke rolled his eyes. "So, I was right then, wasn't I."
Josh looked perplexed. "Right? Right about what?"
Luke shook his head, rolling his eyes as he did so. "That you like her....what else."
"Oh. That. Well, yeah....I do. I do like her....a lot. Of course," Josh replied. "She's just....wow."
"Well, I figured that out a while ago, you know; it was pretty obvious. But I have to say that it sure took you a while to finally admit it, though," Luke commented.
Josh blushed slightly. "Well, I don't know....I guess I was just....I mean, well....you know, it's just that -- well, I've just never felt like this about any other girl before." He gazed off into the distance. "She's not just like any other girl."
"So...." Luke began. "What are you going to do, then?"
"What do you mean?" Josh asked queerly.
"Well, are you going to ask her out or something?" Luke inquired.
Josh looked down at the ground. "I'd like to....of course I would. But....I don't know if that would go over too well. I'm just not sure."
Luke frowned. "What makes you say that? If you like her that much -- and it sure sounds like you do -- then, just go ahead and ask her out. What's stopping you?"
"Nothing's stopping me -- not like that, anyway," Josh retorted. "It's just that....well, I don't know. I mean, she seems like....you know, the kind of girl who doesn't really go out much and stuff. Like, she wouldn't be interested or whatever." He shrugged.
Luke tapped a finger against his chin. "Hmmm....well, let me ask you this. How do you think she feels about you?"
"Me??" Josh repeated. He looked bewildered, as though he never thought of the idea before. "Well, umm....I don't really know."
"What do you mean, 'you don't know'?" Luke shot back. "You don't have the slightest clue? No idea at all? None whatsoever??"
Josh sighed. "I mean, well, it's pretty hard to say. She's not....well, she doesn't really open up to me much. I can't really tell exactly whether she feels something for me or not, actually. I mean, she's not the type to play hard-to-get or anything sly like that; she's not like that. I think she's just a little withdrawn. She's kind of good at hiding her feelings from me, I guess -- that is, if she has any for me, at least."
"Hmmmm...." Luke mused thoughtfully, as though to try to figure out how Kristyn felt about Josh.
"But today, I hugged her....and she let me hug her," Josh spoke up. "She didn't push me away or anything like that....so, I guess that's a good sign, at least." He sighed, as he reminisced the way Kristyn's body felt against his when they embraced. "Man, it felt so good to hold her."
"Well, that answers your question, then. She must like you, too," Luke said simply.
Josh gave Luke a sideways glance. "And what makes you say that?"
Luke shrugged. "Well, it's just common sense, pretty much. If she really didn't like you, she wouldn't have let you hug her. Right?" He gave Josh a pointed look.
Josh thought about it for a moment. "Yeah....I guess you're right," he said finally. "At least I hope you are, anyway."
Luke laughed, shaking his head. "Josh, Josh, Josh....you are such a ladies man. Do you know that?"
"Huh? What are you talking about?" Josh demanded.
Luke rolled his eyes. "Okay then....I guess you don't know that." He shrugged again. "Girls just swoon over you all the time. So many are crushing over you....most notably, Tara."
Josh frowned. "Yeah, okay. Whatever. So?" He didn't follow where his friend was getting at.
Luke scrunched his face up, trying to imitate a lovesick girl. "Oh, Josh is so cute, Josh is such a stud," he mimicked in a high, whiny tone. "Josh is a gift sent from heaven. He is soooooooo awesome on the soccer field and the track."
Josh grimaced. "Oh, give me a break. Shut up. Cut it out, man. You're really grossing me out here."
Luke grinned. "Well, maybe scratch the last part of what I said. Girls don't really pay any attention to whether guys are great at sports. They're too busy putting on their make-up to give sports the time of day."
"Not Kristyn," Josh interjected. "She's athletic, she would know. She'd be able to tell; she doesn't ignore that stuff. And she's not the kind of girl who's into make-up and all that kinds of stuff. She's really natural." He paused. "As I said before....she's not like most other girls."
"Well, way to point out what makes her different from any other girl," Luke replied. "She's that different from other girls, and she's that special to you. Imagine that."
Josh shrugged. "It's one of the things about her that makes me like her."
Luke shook his head. "You're really something, you know that. Just unbelievable. You probably have no idea how many girls like you....yet you only have your eye on the one girl that you're not even completely sure if she likes you or not." He rolled his eyes. "Irony at its best, eh."
Josh looked Luke in the eye. "I can't help liking her. There's just something about her that's appealing to me. She's on my mind a lot; I always think about her." A wistful look clouded over his brown eyes. "I've never thought about a girl this much before....I've never really liked any other girl before -- not like this, anyway."
"Hey, well, I don't know if this really matters to you or not, but you know, uhh....let's say you did ask her out and she agreed. And well, you know, it could cause quite a commotion...." Luke trailed off nervously.
Josh looked surprise. "Commotion? What commotion? Why would it cause a commotion?"
Luke shrugged his right shoulder. "It's just....well, you know. People will talk. Can you imagine how Matt would react. And Tara....oh, boy. Man, that girl has got it bad for you....I don't even want to think about what she'd do if she ever found out. It would probably be the end of her little world, right then and there."
Josh made a face. "Who cares -- I don't care. If they're not happy about it, then too bad; sucks for them. That's not my problem. What they think doesn't matter to me....they don't matter to me." He paused. "Only Kristyn does."
Chapter 25
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