I'm a 29 year old Libran, living in the beautiful yet chaotic country of South Africa. I am the proud mother of 2 beautiful, intelligent children. My daughter, who will be 6 soon, is in so many ways like me. Her features, her mannerisms and her personality. My son, now 3, in the image of his father keeps me laughing and teaches me that life should be seen through the eyes of a child. And as I stand in awe each day, as I watch them grow, I never cease to wonder at the miracle of life that my children represent. And I pray that we, as adults, will never loose sight, of the real meaning of life. And that is, to live each day as its dawns. To see the world as a child does and to never be blinded by our own need to get ahead. We should all learn from our children. Stop, and appreciate our world around us, as if we see it for the very first time.
And as I say goodbye, on this cold Friday night
You will go your way, and I will go mine
I smile, and I lift my head to the light
Well honey before you start fooling with me
You'll swindle your mother and just for a buck The day your realize the monster you've grown
The vomit, the cramps, your gut tied in a knot There's no other way, there's no need to look
And when you return just as I have fortold
As I walked along the sands of time I paused for a moment to wonder if I had lived life within the corset of my soul would love have passed me by?
Looking back, I realize part with regret and part with relief that so much time is spent wasted. Regret, because we constantly fear what other people will do and what other people will feel. How our actions will effect the people around us, but we fool ourselves if we think that we always know just what other people will think or say. Sometimes people will react differently to what we originally expect them to. The people we sometimes fear we will hurt by our actions, might just turn around and surprise us.
As I begin this new journey, and note on this page how I progress, I do it holding the hands of my little ones. And I invite you to come back periodically and to follow me.
There is nothing special, nothing different, nothing awesome about me, yet I know each and everyone of us is unique in our own special, different and awesome way. And as I take this new journey, the one I have chosen for myself, I believe it is not by my hand alone that I take it, but that fate takes my hand and gently guides me along the road of uncharted beginnings.
~~© The Book of Counted Sorrows~~
From him
Memories live forever and are often stowed away
Deep within a broken heart, is where they often stay
As I drift so slowly to where my thoughts reside
You my friend shall always live
For you my soul does cry
~~©crow~~
Theres no turning back, theres no room for regret
Reminds me sometimes of the first time we met
And although our paths have crossed, it now seems to me
Two beautiful children were meant to be.
I know we can do this without a fight
We both know that things do come to an end
We've tried yet our marraige, we could not ammend.
There's nothing ahead now, except maybe time
And as I go forward on this path that I chose
A chapter in my life, I will now close.
For I know the day is dawning, its no longer night
I know I am loved, by many its true
And I smile as I reach my hand out to you.
~~© Bernadette~~
28/4/2000
Anybody listening?
LSD, acid cocaine and hash
Someone pretended to be a true friend
Said i'll introduce you to Miss Herione
Just let me inform you on how it will be
For I will seduce you and make you my slave
For i've sent much stronger than you to their grave
You'll turn into something vile and currupt
You'll mug and you'll steal for my narcotic charm
And feel contentment when i'm in your arms
You'll solemly promise to leave me alone
And if you think you've got the mysticle knack
Then sweetie just try getting me off your back
The jingling nerves screaming for just one more shot
The hot chills, the cold sweat, the withdrawel pains
Can only be saved by my little white grains
For deep down inside, you'll know when your hooked
You'll run desperately to the pusher and then
You'll welcome me back in your arms once again
I know that you'll give me your body and soul
You'll give up your morals, your conscience and your heart
And you will be mine, until death us do part.
~~Author Unknown~~
When the heart begins to think
And along these sands of time I thought to myself, must one question the opportunity to love when it trespasses on your ground.
Why do they say follow the heart when in truth you can never be sure, why do they say don't let go when in reality you cant hold on.
Why do they say love is not lust when actaully the two are enmeshed, why do they say the mind should not wander when in secret that is the essence of life.
Why do the say love is blind when in true spirit it is the mind that does not see.
I think that there are questions one must ask oneself at every stage in life
To ignore the answers is to say I have no conscience.
So when I ask myself what is the secret of true love?
And a voice whispers in answer
When each step is measured by thoughts and actions and words.
But when does true love last forever?
A moment of silence befalls, before the voice says with a grave tone...
...When the heart begins to think.
~~© Ruchika Joshi~~
Update
May 12, 2000
Relief, because when you finally make the decision to move on, to act on what it is you have for so long been throwing around in your mind, you see that everything is alright in the end, and you realize that you can stare the future straight in the face, and do so with a smile
