Surprise Surprise

Jeff took another sip of his beer before setting it down on the table and leaning back in the couch, plastering the brightest fake smile he could muster. He sighed inwardly, twirling a strand of his blonde hair - naturally colored, for once - in his finger and glancing around the room.

Around him, all his friends, and even some people he didn't know, were gathered in honor of his twenty-fourth birthday, all drinking and eating and having a blast. They had all "surprised" him with a party that Matt, the genius, planned for his birthday. Too bad Jeff had known about it weeks in advance when his brother and not-so-clandestine friends whispered and sometimes even yelled about the party plans when he was around.

Still, everybody was being wonderful, showering him with presents and birthday wishes, as well as supplying him with a bottomless glass of beer. Matt had even rented a kareoke machine and some Pearl Jam discs for entertainment. At the moment, Matt and Shannon were involved in a rowdy, off-key rendition of "Black," singing as though there were no tomorrow.

At the rate they were singing, Jeff feared there wasn't going to be a tomorrow for them. Either he would kill them both or they'd just die of the noise itself.

"Hey man, mind if I go upstairs to take a leak?" Mike Maverick's voice interrupted Jeff wandering thoughts and he glanced up to see his friend right in front of him.

"Sure," Jeff shrugged, motioning towards the stairs. "Go ahead."

"Thanks, man, the downstairs one's pretty clogged up or something. I think somebody dropped a glass in there," Mike explained hurriedly before leaving in a flurry, running up the stairs. Apparently somebody had one too many beers for their bladder to deal with.

Matt, being the brilliant and oh-so-wise older brother and mastermind behind the party, had decided that it would make a lot of sense to have the party in Jeff's house, obviously without his permission. Which meant Jeff was probably going to spend the rest of his life picking up paper plates and fishing glasses out of his toilet.

Still, with so much laughing, friends, and happiness around, all in his honor, Jeff should've been the happiest person in the world. Instead, though, he was sitting on the couch, feeling glum and somewhat dizzy from the beer. He had a little too much on his mind to enjoy the poorly planned party and shenanigans of his wild friends. All he really wanted to do was curl up in his bed with a soothing CD and go to sleep.

Preferably with one Mr.-Shane-Helms in his arms.

He sighed again, drinking the rest of his beer before leaning back into the couch and sliding down, slumped so that his chin was touching his chest. He tried to block out his thoughts by watching Matt and Shannon try to outdo each other with the number of "Why's" they could add to the end of the song.

"Hey man, you don't look too swell for the birthday boy," Chris Irvine commented when he plopped down, rather unwelcome, next to Jeff on the couch, punching the birthday boy on the arm. "What's going on?"

"No, I'm fine," Jeff mumbled, wanting Chris to go away. Why Matt decided to invite the whole WWF roster - including those people, such as Chris, whom he disliked - was way beyond Jeff. "Just thinking." As soon as he said the words, he felt like kicking himself.

"About what?" Chris asked, his eyes eager.

Chris may be the smart-mouthed, quick-thinking fan-favorite onscreen, but in reality, he was just about the dumbest, most annoying, and nosy person that's ever walked the earth. "Nothing, really," Jeff said, wishing he hadn't said anything. Chris was definitely last on his list for people to talk with about his problem.

"Oh, c'mon man, don't take me for a moron, you're thinking something," Chris prodded, looking intensely at Jeff.

Jeff nearly laughed. If there was anything he'd take Chris as, it was definitely a moron. "All right, the truth?" Jeff finally said, knowing Chris wouldn't give up.

"Yeah." Chris nodded eagerly, his eyes twinkling.

"I'm thinking about getting laid tonight," Jeff lied, whispering as though it was some huge secret, nearly laughing when he saw Chris's serious nodding.

"Oh, you want some pussy ..." Chris looked like he was involved in some secret mission to Bosnia, the way he was whispering and leaning in close to Jeff.

"Yeah, man," Jeff nodded, a little smile on his lips. Nothing could be farther from the truth, and the way Chris ate it up was almost too cute to bear. Almost.

"Don't worry about it man, we got you covered," Chris confided, whispering into Jeff's ear. "Got you some fine pussy for tonight. Don't tell the other guys I told you though, it's gonna be a surprise, so act like you didn't know, okay?"

Chris pulled away and got up, walking away whistling, literally whistling, innocently before Jeff even had a chance to respond. The guys got him a hooker for the night? Of all the things to happen, Jeff wanted that the least. He felt like running out of the house and screaming.

Instead, he got up and wandered around a bit, stopping to watch Shannon's interesting little interpretive dance that accompanied Matt's version of "Last Kiss." Even little Shannon bouncing around making cute tragic I'm-in-a-car-accident faces couldn't keep Jeff interested for long, and he wandered into the kitchen, hoping to find some peace, or maybe even Shane.

Shane wasn't there, but the kitchen was quiet and unoccupied, allowing Jeff to sit down at one of the stools and collect his thoughts, but moreover, escape from the horrible party. The truth was Jeff was madly in love.

Madly in love with Shane Helms, as previously mentioned.

Shane had always been Matt's friend, and Shannon had always been Jeff's, but the four were all rather close and grew up together, fighting and wrestling all the time. But while other high school boys were busy fascinating and crushing on their older brothers' girlfriends, Jeff was busy fascinating and crushing on his older brother's best friend.

Jeff realized he wasn't like the other boys early on, and had gotten rather comfortable with the fact that he was gay by the time he was maybe only sixteen years old. Still, even after all those years, he'd never told anybody. None of his friends were exactly supportive of homosexuals, most being devout Catholics who felt that gay men went against God's plans of action.

So he'd spent all this time hiding it, and fascinating about Shane.

In the past few months, though, his longing had gotten worse than ever. It seemed as though everybody around him had found somebody to love - Matt, Shannon, and most of their other Omega buddies all finding steady girlfriends.

They were all drifting further and further apart, Matt and Jeff's tag career no longer as important as their individual careers, Shannon training, and Shane fresh out of the WCW and in a completely different rung of the WWF. With the new space between all of them, they'd each turned to their own loves for support they'd once found in each other. All except Jeff, who desperately wanted to turn to Shane, but knew that he never could.

What teased him even more was the fact that Shane himself had remained single, even though he made no effort to hide his love for the groupies. And just within the past few days, realizing that he was going to be turning 24 in only a matter of days, Jeff had gotten even more depressed, getting into the mindset that perhaps he'd never find love. He was growing older by the minute - even though he was only in his early twenties - and love seemed impossibly far.

Jeff would've loved to stay in the kitchen all night and wallow in his self-pity, but of course, Matt came in the kitchen to drag him out.

"You all right, bro?" Matt asked, only slightly concerned, making a very poor attempt to hide a blindfold.

"Swell, Matt," Jeff replied with an intensely cheesy smile. "Really nice of you to throw this party for me," he added, feeling slightly guilty when Matt's face fell. "It's been a ton of fun."

Matt's face lit up, and he grinned before approaching Jeff, his hands behind his back in order to keep Jeff from seeing the "secret" blindfold. "AHA!" Matt yelled triumphantly when he managed to get the blindfold on Jeff's eyes and pull it tight, making Jeff's world simply black.

"Matt, what are you doing?" Jeff asked, trying to sound as shocked as he could, knowing full well what was going on as Matt took him by the arm.

"Shh, I got a surprise present for you, and everybody's waiting for you to unwrap it in the living room," Matt said, barely keeping the giggle out of his voice as he lead Jeff out of the kitchen.

Jeff knew his own house well enough to tell that he was standing in his living room when Matt stopped. He was promptly shoved, rather rudely, into his favorite zebra-print armchair. "Gee, Matt, what are you doing? I don't like this," Jeff said rather convincingly. So those acting lessons Vince made him take weren't completely useless after all.

"Shh, don't let her in yet, keep his eyes closed," he heard whispers from all around the room.

"Okay, now," he heard Matt whisper loudly, and immediately a booming beat came from his speakers, and he could only dread the complaints that would come from the neighbors the day after.

A seductive, feminine voice began to sing/rap some nonsense music as the beat continued and somebody entered the room, a bunch of hooting and cheering erupting. Jeff sighed, squirming in his seat, trying to keep looking surprised and confused. Where had Matt gotten the music? Stripper's Favorites, Volume III?

"Ready Jeffro?" Matt asked excitedly in his ear, before removing the blindfold.

Jeff's eyes took a moment to adjust, but sure enough, right in front of his face, was a woman's ass, along with the rest of her body. She was wearing baggy, somewhat see-through silk pants, and a tube top made of the same material, though it was more opaque. When she turned, Jeff could see a veil of the same material covering most of her face, save for her eyes, and soft, straight brown hair. Her eyes were heavily made up and wrists jingling with a million silver bracelets and she danced seductively near Jeff, wriggling her ass and shaking her boobs.

Jeff tried to be pleased as she continued her little teasing act, shaking her boobs in his face and pushing her ass against his hand. Around the room, Jeff's friends were all cheering a hooting, waving dollar bills around and telling her to take it all off.

Jeff nearly lost his composure and left the room when she lowered herself into his lap after dancing around the room and ground her ass into his lap, trying to seduce him, batting her mascara-caked lashes at him. Jeff felt disgusted.

Not only wasn't he attracted to women, this particular woman was rather ugly looking from what he could tell - which was why, he guessed, she had that horrible veil on. She just looked completely fake, her boobs definitely implanted, and completely unnatural. She was just strangely proportioned, almost too muscular and just giving off a weird vibe.

Looking past her in an attempt to not be disgusted, Jeff saw all his friends laughing and drinking, enjoying the act. Chris gave him a thumbs up and drunken smile, making crude motions with his tongue and mouthing what appeared to be "Get lucky tonight."

Hoping to find at least some reward in the torturous experience, Jeff searched the room for Shane, hoping to see him with a hard on with without his shirt - something to compensate for the hell he was going through. He couldn't see Shane anywhere, and his search was cut short when Matt got up and turned off the music.

"All right, all right, the rest of the show's private, for Jeff only," he announced with a stupid grin, and the stripper pulled herself off Jeff, much to his relief. His momentary happiness lasted for barely a passing second, though, before he realized what Matt said. Before he had a chance to protest, Matt had him and the stripper in his hands, escorting them upstairs towards Jeff's bedroom.

"Matt, it's really okay, you don't have to keep her all night," Jeff insisted all the way up, trying to find some way to get out of fucking a whore tonight. For all he knew, she could have some sort of horrible disease or get pregnant or ... well, anything.

"I already got her for the night," Matt said, smiling from ear to ear. "It's okay, baby bro, don't worry about the cost. Anything for to make you happy on your big 2-3."

"I'm turning 24, Matt," Jeff sighed, and gave up, letting Mtat lead them to his bedroom.

"Here, take this," Matt said, shoving a rather thick envelope into the strippers hands. Even her hands were weird looking for a chick. Jeff shuddered, feeling disgusted, wondering if he could pay her to sleep on the floor. "And take good care of him, you hear?" he added before stepping out and shutting the door loudly behind him.

The girl turned to him expectantly, her straight, soft hair falling over her face. Jeff had to look away. She was just not natural looking - maybe it was all the make-up or something.

"Listen," he started saying, sighing a little. "I don't' know how much my brother paid you, but I'll double that if you'll sleep on the floor. Hell, you can sleep on the bed, I just ... I don't want to have sex tonight," Jeff explained. He didn't want to reveal too much, knowing how quickly news could get to the tabloids.

She didn't reply, instead, she put the envelope down on his desk and took his hands, pulling him to his bed. Pushing him down, she crawled on top of him, straddling him before reaching under his shirt to touch his skin, scratching lightly up and down his stomach.

"No, you don't understand," Jeff tried to explain again as she started to grind her ass into his crotch, her eyes seductive. Perhaps she didn't understand English. "No me gusta sexo ahora," Jeff tried in horrible, choppy Spanish. She just continued to touch him, pushing his shirt up and trying to get it off. "This," he pointed towards his crotch, "will not go in this," he tried to grab her crotch, but she slapped his hand angrily away.

Jeff pulled back, a bit stunned. A stripper was slapping him away for grabbing her crotch when she was going to fuck him? Now he definitely wasn't going to fuck her.

"No, listen," Jeff tried to explain again, but the girl placed a firm hand over his mouth, silencing him. She took her hand slowly away, making sure he wouldn't say anything, before reaching behind herself. Jeff wasn't sure what she was doing at first, hoping she was going to leave, but instead, he saw her slowly undo the knot of her top. "No," Jeff sighed, trying to explain. The girl just glared at him.

She removed her tube top a second later and Jeff gasped in shock.

Her boobs came off with the top.

She was a he.

"No sex tonight?" she ... he asked, reaching up to remove the veil, taking it off slowly before letting it drift down to Jeff, landing on his face.

Jeff quickly brushed the silk away, blinking repeatedly to make sure he wasn't absolutely crazy. "Shane?!" he managed to gasp.

Sitting on top of him, dressed as a female stripper, face caked with make-up, hair blown dry straight, was Gregory Shane Helms himself. "Well, you can call me Sugar if you want," Shane said, smiling a little. "Come now, don't look so shocked. Did you really think a girl would have abs and biceps like these?"

Jeff just stared up, eyes wide, feeling absolutely tricked, but in a very, very good way. "Chyna," he finally said, still unable to move or do much.

"What?" Shane smiled, taking Jeff's hand.

"Chyna has abs and biceps like those. Only better," Jeff added, giggling when Shane swatted at him. He was cut short when Shane leaned down, covering his lips in a searing kiss. "Oh Jesus," Jeff muttered when Shane pulled away, breathing hard. "I never knew you were ..."

"Gay?" Shane finished, getting off Jeff and smiling, wiping away some bright red lipstick smeared on Jeff's face. "I never knew you were gay, either." Jeff just stared up with wide eyes, mouth slightly open, looking astounded. "Matt told me you were," Shane finally said, after a moment of silence.

Instead of breaking the silence, Shane's information only prolonged it as Jeff tried to comprehend exactly what he had said.

"M-Matt?" Jeff finally stuttered, not able to believe it. "How the hell did he know?"

Shane shrugged, smiling. "Maybe Matt isn't the idiot child you take him for," Shane said, running his fingers through some of Jeff's hair. "Well, not always," he added.

"Well ... how did he know I ... I ... liked you?" Jeff asked, a wash of contentment coming over him when Shane held his hand.

"I believe he said something about a journal and years of observation." Shane slid off Jeff's body, lying by his side instead of on top before hugging the younger man close. "And he's known for years that I've had a crush on his little brother ... Remember that huge fight he and I had a couple years ago? You were the reason." Shane grinned at Jeff's shocked face and then kissed him lightly on the lips.

Jeff just let Shane kiss him softly for a while before an intensely disturbing thought crept into his mind. "Matt went through my journal?!" he exploded suddenly when Shane pulled away, earning him a smile from the brunette.

"I don't know - but aren't you glad he did?" Jeff just shrugged, and Shane leaned in, kissing him while tickling him. "C'mon, admit it, you're glad Matt's nosy," he teased, tickling Jeff without stopping at all, to which Jeff just furiously shook his head. "C'mon, admit it!"

"Fine, fine, I admit it!" Jeff gasped out in between fits of laughter, his sides in pain from laughing so much. Before he even had a chance to recover his breathing skills, Shane's lips covered his and stole another passionate kiss, working his tongue into Jeff's mouth and kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

"So ..." Shane said softly when they pulled away, his hand crawling beneath Jeff's shirt and rubbing at the stomach. "Surprise, Jeff."

Jeff just giggled and leaned in for another kiss, pushing his body eagerly against Shane's - so maybe Matt wasn't as horrible at keeping surprises as he thought. "Wait," Jeff said suddenly, pulling away, eyes worried.

"Hmm?"

"Does this mean all the guys know?" Jeff's expression was half-terrified and half-worried. "All of the guys are just sitting downstairs thinking 'Well, there goes Shane banging Jeff?'"

Shane laughed, wrapping his arms around Jeff, thinking how little and innocent Jeff still seemed on his twenty-fourth birthday. "'Course not. Matt can be dumb, but he's not a jerk. The only people who know are me, you, and Matt. We didn't even know if you wanted Shanny to know so even he's obliviously thinking, 'Well, there goes Jeff banging a hooker,' along with everybody else." Shane laughed again before creeping his hand up and tweaking at one of Jeff's nipples, causing the younger man to jump a little. "Now, come on, birthday boy, let's get to unwrapping your present."

"Well, one more thing before I do," Jeff said instead, though his cock hardening even more as Shane continued to play with his nipples. "Please go to the bathroom and wash your face, Shane, there's no way in hell I'm letting you have sex with me looking at that."

Shane just laughed, but agreed, getting out of bed. "Happy birthday, Jeffie boy," Shane whispered, leaning in for a quick peck before walking off to the bathroom.

"Happy birthday, indeed," Jeff muttered to himself, watching Shane's half-naked body walk away. "Happy birthday, indeed."