2004 Packers Season Predictions
Omigod! The Bucs beat the Jets 30-14! That's disgusting! My god! What a bunch of damn girls! I saw a group of 8-year-old girls play better football the other day! I hope Jet's coach makes them walk home from Japan! If I was their coach I sure as hell would. Oh...don't look at me like that! Tough love here people! Tough love!
Anyway, here's my game predictions for the Packers regular season: (Note: games are in order starting with first game on Sun. Sept 7)
Minnesota Vikings: (Home game) Ok...now, if the Packers played like say...the Bengals they would lose this game. But otherwise there's no way in hell we should lose this game. If we do we got some serious practicing to do.
Detroit Lions: (Home game) Once again, we'd have to play worse then the Bengals...no, make that the Texans, in order to lose this game. We should definatly walk away victorious.
Arizona Cardinals: (away game) I lived in Arizona for many years, and I've concluded a couple things: it's hot, it's dry, and their football team sucks. Who knows now they they canned Jake the Snake maybe they'll be able to play decently...um, ok yea right. Definatly another big win.
Chicago Bears: (Away game) And da Bears still suck! I just love that song! Tune to 95.5 on Friday's and you'll hear that song. But ok, my prediction: definatly gonna be a win. Unless the Bears completely canned the old team and got some new players, they're still gonna suck.
Seattle Seahawks: (Home game) Everybody in Wisconsin, whether they're a Packers fan or not, should root for the Pack during this game. After all, this is the team our former butthead coach Mike Holmgron (did I spell that right?) went to. Note to Mike: YOU SUCK! I think he got canned though, not sure. I'll check nfl.com and see. Anyway, I think a couple of old ladies could single-handedly beat the Seahawks; in conclusion, the Pack will definatly walk away with the big W.
Kansas City Cheifs: (Home game) This is getting ridiculous, why did the big-wigs who do the planning for the season give us such a pansy-season. Maybe for the Bengals this would be a tough season, but not for the men in green. Honestly, I'm growing tired of repeating this...actually, no I'm not. Chalk up another win for the Pack!
Saint Louis Rams: (Away game) Finally, a game I think will be challenging! Oh wait...I was thinking of a team that actually could play. Yep...once again the Packers will win...*yawn* what happend to football being challenging? Or wait, maybe the Packers are just TOO good? Nah, no such thing.
Open date
Minnesota Vikings: (Away game) As much as I don't like to admit it, the Vik-queens can really beat our butts when we come to the Dome. However, I think the Packers will win and here's why: We've got that lovely bi week, so we'll have plenty of time to get our butts into gear for this game. We should win, as long as we don't screw it up. We need to get ahead in the first 1/2 and then stay that way. None of this, super-hero crap where we lose in the first 1/2 and come back to win in the second 1/2.
Tampa Bay Bucs: (Away game) *Takes a deep breath* This is going to be our hardest game. Not only do we have to see Jon Gruden's annoying, arrogant, yet very cute little face...we also have to put up with Warren Sapp (winner of the Punk of the Century award) and his little sidekick Mike Alstott (who recently got arrested, mind you). I'm a packer-backer through and through, but I don't think even the Pack can pull off a win here.
San Francisco 49ers: (Home game) Ok, lets do the math: 49ers + Lambeau field + Late November weather = definate win for the Pack! Yea, lets bring a bunch of Californian's from San Francisco (and you know what I mean by that!) and then you expect them to win?! Get real!
Detroit Lions: (Away game) I really feel bad for the Lions, ya know being so crappy and then having to play such a great team (that'd be the Packers by the way). I mean, the Lions players really give they're all and I just feel so bad for them. It's sad...but I'm over that now and the way I look at it: one more victory steering us to the Playoffs!
Chicago Bears: (Home game) I hate to repeat myself...actually, I really don't care. Da Bears STILL suck! I figure at this point in the season the Bears will have won 2 games...oh hell, I'll give them 3 games. The sure as hell aren't going to beat Farve and the Pack at Lambeau field. They might as well call and cancel so they don't embaresse themselves.
San Diego Chargers: (Away game) San Diego who??? How many teams does California really need? Shouldn't they concentrate on making one GOOD team instead of a bunch of CRAPPY teams??? Can't really say much about this team, cause like I said: San Diego who? We'll just have to wait and see.
Oakland Raiders: (Away game) You know, we might as well stay in California after we play the Chargers because we just have to travel on down to Oakland the next week anyway. Oh, but if the Packers lose to the Chargers, I'd make them walk to Oakland. Didn't I tell you...tough love! Anyway, this is going to be a hard game, I mean who wouldn't be intimidated by those nasty looking Raiders fans who spit on oposing teams as they enter the stadium? Yea, not only do the Packers PLAYERS rock, but so do they fans. At least we don't scare little children!
Denvor Broncos: (Home game) Last game of the season, hopefully we don't blow it like we did last season against the Jets! Denver isn't an extremely good team, and I think if we do well up to this game we'll beat their butts into Frozen Tundra. If not...we'll act like a bunch of little girls and disgrace Lambeau field yet again!
So there are my predictions for the 2004 Packer's regular season. They weren't meant to offend...actually, yes they where. But please don't be mad, I'm just trying to have a little fun. Who knows, maybe with a little help...hell a miracle really...you're team might win ;)
(Note: Tomorrow's post will revel my predictions for the New England Patriots 2004 regular season. Stay tuned to find out what I, Madame Knows It All, will say about the future...)