ONELINER JOKES
- How come when ever some one tries pot and doesnt like it they go into politics.
- There were two pot heads sitting on the floor.One fell off
- How many stoners does it take to change a lightbulb?
3.one to twist it in,one to hold it,and one to catch it when it falls. - I had to quite smoking crack.Last time i smoked so much i robbed my own house
- What do u call a stoner who doesnt inhale?
Mr.President - Whats the best thing to do after u smoke a bowl?
Smoke another! - If there are to potheads in the back of a car then who is driving?
A cop! - If a canoe pulled up in to your backyard and loses all four wheels how many pancakes does it take to make a dog house?
None.We all know marshmallows dont have bones - How do u know when the rotation is fucked up?
when u are the only one stoned. - What do u call a cop with an oz of prime weed?
The fucking cop who just busted me! - One pot head was overheard saying to another pot head after a song on the radio ends:did that really take forever or am i really stoned?
- Two blonds were getting wasted at a party one said to the other.I think uve had enough your face is all blurry!
- A hippie was seen crawling on a railroad track when asked if there was a problem he said"yeah man can u help me get off this ladder?"
- What comes around 2 times daily but is only present 1 time a yr??
4:20!! - How do u get a stoner out of a room filled with weed?
You dont! - Q.Whats another word for pot.
A.what?
Q.Whats another one?
A.Uh what?
Q.Is that the joke?
A.uh what? - What did the stoner say when he lost his bag?
Where is my bag?(duh!) - Why do stoners stare?
They are trying to figure out what u said 5 mins ago. - Stoner 1:Tell me about your trip to Amsterdam
Stoner 2:kool man when did i go there? - 2 ducks where sitting in the bath tub
one asks the other will you hand me the soap.The other replies what do u think i am a typewriter? - How do u know when ur really high?
When your most difficult decsion is trying to figure out if your eyes are
a)open
b)closed
c)false
d)none of the above. - How does a stoner eat a reeses peanut butter cup?
Im not sure i think after he dropped it the 5th time he gave up - How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse?
None.Alligators cant fly - Why did the stoner cross the road?
Who else would follow a chicken? - What do u call a fly w/o wings?
A walk! - What do u do when u see a space man?
Park in it dude! - 2 apples are sitting in the oven.The first apple turns to the other and says its a little hot in here dont ya think?The other one replies OH MY GOD A TALKING APPLE!
- Whats the difference between a drunk and a stoner?
A drunk will pull thru a stop sign a stoner will stop and wait for it to turn green - What do u call a stoner who has smoked 15 bowls in a row?
Dont bother calling him anything he doesnt even know your there. - What do u call a pot head who smokes a joint from the wrong end?
Stoned - What animal has an asshole directly in the center of his back?
A police horse.
