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An Epie Adventure!

Quotes that are in bold are the quotes that I find myself using in day to day life. Let them enrich your vocabulary too!

Episode #3: Monkee VS. Machine

Plot: After Peter is rejected by a machine for a job at a toy factory, Mike applies and outwits the machine. The guys must also help Pop, an old toy maker, find success with his latest invention, the boomerang.

Check It Out:
The only time (I think) that Peter dresses like a woman.

What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
1.) Machines are stupid.
2.) The boomerang was invented in 1966.
3.) The person who goes the furthest in life is the one who knows how to make (slaps palm of hand with fist) decisions!

Quotes:

Episode #5: The Spy Who Came in From the Cool

Plot: Davy accidentally acquires some important spy film from a bumbling foreign spy, Boris. The Monkees are commissioned by the C.I.S. to lure Boris and his companion, Madame, to the C.I.S.

Note: The same woman who plays Madame plays the Vampire’s niece on the Monkees second Halloween eppie.

Check It Out: The “Saturday’s Child” romp. One of my favorites!
What Did We Learn Here, Children?:
1.) Never buy a cheap pair of red maracas from a fat guy with a Russian accent.
2.) Never trust anyone named “Madame”.
3.) You can’t hear a nod.

Quotes:

Episode #8: Don’t Look a Gift Horse In the Mouth

Plot: After meeting a little boy on the beach, Davy ends up having to take care of the boy’s Pet horse, Jeremy.

Check It Out:
The winking Mike! (I am not a Nezhead, but I have to admit, that was interesting!).
The guy who plays the Dad appears once again as the minister in “Hillbilly Honeymoon”.
Oh, and what’s with that jeep the guys drive out to the farm? Where’d they get that?

What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
1.) Looking for a friend lost in a pile of straw? A pitchfork works best!
2.) Only in Monkee-land can you get milk from a Bull.
3.) How many Monkees does it take to get sand out of Davy’s boot? The world may never know.

Quotes:

Episode #12: I’ve Got a Little Song Here

Plot: Mike gets conned by a phony songwriting producer.

Check It Out: Does anybody know what the sketch is that Peter holds up during Micky’s scene as “MD”?

What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
1.) Peter + Puppies = Cute!
2.) If you can’t open it, burn it.
3.) To sound like a big man, use your initials as your name (i.e. M.D.).

Quotes:

Episode #14: Dance, Monkee, Dance

Plot: Peter and the guys get suckered into signing lifetime contracts to “Renaldo’s Dance Au-Go-Go”. They spend the rest of the time trying to get out of it.

Check It Out: Miss Buntwell is a chain-smoker. Blah!

What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
1.) Read your contracts
2.) Never trust any place that advertises the “Dancing Smoothies”.
3.) Don’t object so much, you’ll live longer.

Quotes:

Episode #27: Monkee Mother

Plot: Late with their rent, Mr. Babbit evicts the Monkees. Instead of being thrown out into the street, the new tenant, a middle-aged woman, takes them on as borders. The guys spend the episode trying to get her married off.

Note: Rose Marie, the woman who plays Millie was a famous for her role on "The Dick Van Dyke Show".
Micky wrote a song called “RoseMarie”.

Check It Out: The “Sometime In the Morning” dance scene. Sometimes I think it’s corny, other times, sweet.
Oh, and the face Peter makes when he says “Heartburn, she’s up to heartburn.”

What Did We Learn Here, Children?:
1.) Talking all the time about other people’s problems is very boring.
2.) Blondes don’t care.
3.) It is possible to be married off in a week.

Quotes:

Episode #28: Monkees On the Line

Plot: The Monkees are left in charge of an answering service.

Check It Out: Davy must have ESP. He knew the name of the answering service lady, Mrs. Draydel, and she never even introduced herself.
Oh, and the same lady reappears in “Monkees a La Carte” as Big Flora.

What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
1.) Be careful when playing with gavels.
2.) Don’t get involved with the clients.
3.) Save the California Condor!

Quotes:

Episode #30: Monkees In Manhattan

Plot: The guys travel all the way to Manhattan after receiving word that they are to star in Mr. Baker’s new production. Until Mr. Baker’s backer backs out…

Check It Out: Isn’t that a cool toy Davy carries around with him at the Millionaire’s club? I want one!
The look Mike gives Peter when Peter walks through Mike’s interview at the end of the show.

What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
1.) We need a new appreciation for garage doors.
2.) A man who can’t open bottles can’t do anything right!
3.) Glasses without lenses are very stylish.

Quotes:

Episode #31: Monkees At the Movies

Plot: The guys get a job as extras on teen beach movie.

Check It Out: The shirts Mr. Kramm wears. I swear I’ve seen them on the Monkees before. Namely Davy and Peter.
If you read the inscription on the two director’s chairs on the beach, they say “Mr. Kramm” and “Yes Mr. Kramm” LOL!

What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
1.) In 1967 it cost eighty cents to go to the movies.
2.) When in a vengeful situation, quote Shakespeare.
3.) If you dance too hard, you could disappear.

Quotes:

Episode #41: The Card-Carrying Red Shoes

Plot:A Russian ballet dancer falls in love with Peter’s face. The result? Peter gets kidnapped, Davy repeatedly gets his hat knocked off, and Micky ends up dancing around in a chicken suit.

Note: Mike does not appear in this episode until the end when they show the guys singing an early version of “She Hangs Out”, most likely recorded beforehand.

Check It Out: The “guns never solve anything” scene. Hilarious!

What Did We Learn Here, Children?:
1.)Never fall in love with someone because of his or her face. (Even if it is Peter’s)
2.) Guns don’t kill people, Micky does.
3.) Chickens have feelings too.

Quotes:

Episode #43: A Coffin Too Frequent

Plot: The guys realize that their lease includes a raising of the dead at midnight.

Check It Out: This has to be the shortest I’ve seen Davy’s hair. That mean guy, Henry (who showed up as “Ronnie” in “One Man Shy”) has a thing for chewing on cloth. He does it in “One Man Shy Too”.

What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
1.) Read the fine print on leases.
2.) Mike can “ruint” 60 years of service.
3.) Don’t drink too much tea when you have a cold.

Quotes:

Episode #42: The Wild Monkees

Plot: The guys get conned into being servants at an out of the way hotel to a group of female bikers.

Note: What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
1.) Appearances can be deceiving
2.) Laying eggs makes you special
3.) It’s an honor to be considered a chicken.

Quotes:

Episode #47: The Christmas Show

Plot: The Monkees unknowingly accept a job babysitting a young boy over the Christmas holiday. The boy is a really uptight, so the guys try to show him the meaning of Christmas.

Note: The boy who plays Melvin is the same boy who plays Eddie Munster on “The Munsters”

Check it Out: The “Riu Chiu” performance. Classic. Notice how Peter smiles at all the guys while Micky is singing, but Davy is the only one who smiles back.

What Did We Learn Here Children?:
1.) Some kids can be real brats. Especially rich ones.
2.) Four hundred dollars doesn’t go very far.
3.) Pine needles are tasty!

Quotes:

Episode #51: The Monkees Paw

Plot: Micky buys a cursed monkey’s paw and ends up loosing his voice.

Check It Out: The club owner played the lawyer in “The Picture Frame”.

What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
1.) Old guys get annoyed with young, fun guys. (see ending blooper)
2.) Use your wishes carefully.
3.) 142% is a great interest rate on a loan!

Quotes:

Episode #56: Some Like It Lukewarm

Plot: In order to win a band contest for “mixed groups only”, Davy must dress up like a girl so the Monkees can enter.

Note: Charlie Smalls, the man Davy interviews at the end of the show, wrote the musical, “The Wiz”.

Check it Out: The “Door Into Summer” performance. Davy (Miss Jones) jumps like Peter or somebody touched him on the backside. Also, the symbols on his tambourine begin to fall off until the whole thing falls apart at the end.

What Have We Learned Here, Children?:
1.) Be suspicious of everyone
2.) To distinguish between your boots, call them “He” and “She”.
3.) Ringo Starr has soul.

Quotes:

Tippy's Share of the Sidewalk!

Email: tipptee99@yahoo.com