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SAMMY SLAMMIN'

THE TRUTH ON THE BIGGEST FRAUD IN SPORTS HISTORY

How quick the biased Chicago media is to cover for this dumb ass. The fact that they cover up everything for him and give him a free pass wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that he is highly marketable (for some reason) and makes lots of money for the Tribune Co., would it? This man is the dictionary definition of a jerk. Let's take a look back at all of the stuff Sammy does that the media pretends to forget about. (If someone like Barry Bonds or Frank Thomas did any of these things, Jay Mariotti and the rest of the Chicago media would bring it up daily until the end of time.)

 Everyone talks about how great of a guy Sammy Sosa is. It's all fake. He is a huge ego-maniac, a dick, and he is a big time cry baby who cares about nothing but money and his image. This is the guy who was late for spring training with the White Sox in 1991 for hitting his ex-wife with a rum bottle. He is late for spring training every year with the Cubs because he thinks he's on another level than all other baseball players, but at the same time claims to be a "team player". He's hardly deserving of the captain's "C" on his jersey, perhaps it would be fitting if it was a modern day scarlett letter, the C standing for "cheater." He demands ridiculous amounts of money from the Cubs and for endorsements, he never makes an appearance without receiving an appearance fee. He compares himself to Christ, can't take criticism, uses steroids and corked bats. What else needs to be said? Well, here's all the facts stacked against Sham-Me:

EXHIBIT A: Wife-Beating Boozer

From the Chicago Tribune, 2/28/91
"`I didn`t hit anybody with a bottle,`` he said. ``I swear to God.`` Sosa reported to camp on time Wednesday, along with just about everyone else.

Sosa, of course, had been mired in legal matters back home in the Dominican. His ex-wife (or his estranged wife, depending on the venue), according to reports, has accused him in the Dominican of hitting her with a rum bottle, plus other indignities. ``I didn`t do anything,`` said Sosa. ``So nothing has to bother me.`` 

``He`s here to play baseball,`` said manager Jeff Torborg. ``That other stuff will be taken care of.``

So while attorneys from both sides try to work out the inevitable settlement, Sosa is in camp, trying to work out his own problems:

- Strikeouts, for one. There were 150 of them last season, which put him in Cecil Fielder Land."

Don't Sammy's quotes sound familiar? 

EXHIBIT B: Cheater

section 1: Steroids

Sammy does steroids. Period. Therefore, he is doing nothing but cheating. All of his "amazing" numbers are just the result of cheating. Sammy Sosa uses steroids. Anyone who thought otherwise, just needs to read this stuff from when columnist Rick Reilly simply asked Sammy to take a steroid test to clear his name

"You've said if baseball tests for steroids, you want to be first in line, right?" Reilly kindly asked Sammy at his locker after a game.

"Yes," Sosa replied.

"Well, why wait?" Reilly said. 

"What?" 

 Reilly then gave Sosa the number for LabCorp in Elmhurst, Ill., 30 minutes from Wrigley. Reilly told him that LabCorp could test for steroids with a blood or urine sample. The lab could have the results back within 10 days. Sosa gave an angry stare at the piece of paper in his hands.

Reilly then told Sammy, "Why wait to see what the players' association will do? Why not step up right now and be tested? You show everybody you're clean. It'll lift a cloud off you and a cloud off the game. It'll show the fans that all these great numbers you're putting up are real." Reilly recalled that at this point "Sosa's neck veins started to bulge." 

Sammy then angrily yelled at Reilly, "Why are you telling me to do this? You don't tell me what to do. You're not my father! Why do you tell me what to do? Are you trying to get me in trouble?" HAHAHA! Way to bust yourself moron! How could Sammy get in trouble if he wasn't doing anything wrong? Oh wait, there's more...

"I don't need to gonowhere! I'll wait for the players' association to decide what to
do!"

"This interview is over!" He started looking around for security. "Over, motherfucker!!" What a great, lovable guy.

Nine years without ever hitting more than 40 home runs. Then all of a sudden he hits 66, 63, 50 and 64. He used to be skinny, 165-pounds, and fast. Now he's a bulky, 230-pound cry baby. Sammy attempt to explain this earlier in the interview with Reilly." This was because of my tooth. When I first came to Texas [in 1989], I had a bad wisdom tooth. The doctor discovered this, and he fixed it. After that, I start to eat much better." OK, sure. Wow, he is a bad liar.

"They think everybody is guilty. They judge me, but they don't know me." Shut up, Sammy. Anyone with half a brain knew you used steroids all along, thank you for confirming it to anyone who had any doubts.

section 2: cork

June 3, 2003. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays are at Wrigley Field for a night game against the Cubs. Sammy comes up with runners on 2nd and 3rd and hits a grounder, his bat shatters. Replays would later show the guilty look on Sammy's face as he was running to first after his bat shattered.Umpire Tim McClelland gathered with the other three umpires to examine the broken bat. Cubs manager Dusty Baker came out and the umpires showed the bat to him.

CORK MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Sosa was called out and ejected. The look on his face in the dugout was priceless.

What is there to say? It is a well known very serious form of cheating and Sammy was very guilty. Lucky for Sammy, this happened in the first inning. That gave him time to come up with a joke of an excuse and hide the other corked bats.

"It was for batting practice and it got mixed up." Right Sam. First off, why the hell would you practice with a lighter bat, and second, wouldnt you make damn sure you marked that bat? I know this is the same guy who just forgot he had $20,000 cash sitting in a hotel lobby, but please. He knew what he was doing. Guilty, guilty, guilty!!!! Somehow the media played this one down too.

This is a great article completely destroying Sammy by Tribune refugee Skip Bayless

EXHIBIT C: Ego-maniac

Let's not let everyone forget about all of the nonsense Sammy spewed from his fat lips during the soap opera between he and then Cubs manager Don Baylor during the 2000 season. They talked and talked and talked about each other in the newspapers but never face to face. It's like two 8th graders passing notes talking about the other kid but never talking face to face. How Cubs is that? The REAL Sammy was exposed thanks to this little fight. 

He said some great things. "I cannot make everybody happy," Sosa said. "When Jesus Christ came here he tried to make everyone happy. He's the one guy who was close to perfect and he couldn't do it. Everybody criticized him because he was the real Messiah. So if they criticize him, what about me? That's the way this world is." WOW! He thinks he's Jesus now?! 

If that's not egotistical enough, listen to what else Sam-ME had to say.

 "I've been carrying baseball the last two years. Everything I've been doing in baseball in the city of Chicago I don't deserve this." You don't deserve Don Baylor saying you should improve your fielding? That's all Baylor did. It's not like he kicked Sammy off the team. "From Day One, I am the target. I play hard every day. I don't know what else Sammy Sosa can do. I'm never hurt. Why me? I'm innocent." There's the sign of a real egotistical nut. He starts doing the third person crap. 

"I feel like those comments about my defense and those things, they're not supposed to be there," Sosa said. "By [saying] those little things, they're not showing me class. I've been here for eight years and you're never going to see me talking against anybody in the paper or pointing a finger. From the first day until now, I'm the same person, but they're saying negative things about me for no reason." Like I said, Baylor simply asked him to improve his fielding, nothing more. Yet he acts like Baylor did some horrible thing to him. 

"They forget everything, and when they start making some comments, especially from a person who is here for the first year I've never said anything against him. What's the whole situation here? Does he have something against me? Let me know. I mean, what did I do to you? Why does the person I play for keep saying things that are not appropriate? If I'm going to die for you, why? If I'm missing something, let me know." Yes, Sammy you are missing something. You suck at outfield, all you try to do is hit home runs, and you are a jerk. 

"He hasn't really treated me the way I'm supposed to be treated. And that's what I'm saying. He has got no class." He has no class? I'd say no class is not showing up to spring training on time. I'd say no class is beating your wife. I'd say no class is demanding appearance fees to appear at a ceremony for you in your home country. 

"But I'm not going to let it bother me, because I'm a horse. It takes more than that to get me down." It sure as hell seems like it DID bother him. "I'm working hard, busting my ass to try to win every day," Sosa said. "If somebody tells me that I don't want to win, they don't know anything about baseball. When they're going to make some comments about me, they need to be careful about that." I'm sorry but I think Don Baylor does know about baseball Sammy. WHAT A JERK!

EXHIBIT D: Liar

As if the cork, steroids, and abuse denials didn't show you how much of a liar he is... he also tried to act like he was shocked and hurt that people from the Dominican Republic are pissed at him. He knows he's a dickhead and he's just faking it to save his reputation in the U.S. 

Sosa was been criticized in 2000 on radio shows and in newspapers in San Pedro de Macoris for not doing enough for the city, then still recovering from Hurricane Georges. Sosa was booed by some fans in right field when he threw out the first pitch at a winter league game Oct. 26, 2000 in San Pedro. 

"Sammy Sosa said he was going to rebuild 1,000 houses in San Pedro de Macoris and he hasn't done it," Mayor Sergio Cedeno said. 

The city also invited Sosa to attend a ceremony at the San Pedro post office when it inaugurated a special "Sammy Sosa 66" seal after the '98 season. Sosa asked for an appearance fee!

Sammy Sosa, the guy who loves his home Country, the guy who makes 10 million a year from the Cubs plus tons more in advertisements, can't give some money to the country he supposedly would do anything for? 

"Never is it enough. I want the people in the United States to know I've only done the best I can to help my people. I can only do so much. I can't do everything... I'm still going to be me, I still believe in God." AWwwwwwww.... everybody feel sorry for him. Listen to him trying to play it off.

Article on Sammy's fraudulent "charity foundation"

EXHIBIT E: Moron

"Chicago Cubs outfielder Sammy Sosa was "robbed" of $20,000 he and his brother left on a desk in a Caracas hotel lobby, a newspaper reported Friday.

Sosa and his brother, Jose Antonio, had the cash in a plastic bag wrapped inside a towel as they sat talking in the lobby of the Caracas Hilton last Saturday, El Universal said, citing unidentified police sources.

The brothers forgot the bag when they left to eat at a hotel restaurant. Remembering it, they rushed back to the lobby but the cash was gone, the newspaper said."
  


CUB FANS

SAMMY SLAMMIN'

GREAT SEASONS

PROOF OF STUPIDITY

WRIGLEY FIELD

Sammy's  Timeline

1989- a skinny 20 year old Sammy debuts with the Rangers and later is traded to the White Sox.

-1990 Sammy is a regular in the Sox lineup. He Hits 15 homers with a .233 average, striking out 150 times

-1991 Sammy is late for spring training. He has legal problems. He hit his ex-wife with a rum bottle. Sammy gets fewer at-bats but still manages a .310 strikeout percentage.

-1992 Sam gets traded across town to the cute team. With a little help from wind, little league dimensions, steroids, and cork, Sammy will become an international superstar and make the Tribune Co. a lot of money.

-1993-95 Sammy begins to mysteriously bulk up

-1998 Sammy and Mark McGwire "capture America's imagination" with steroids and break the home run record. Sammy touches the hearts of the entire country with his fake smile and stupid act. The Tribune Co. makes lots of money.

-2000 Sosa claims he will help out the Dominican Republic to recover from a hurricane but never keeps his promise. During the season, Sammy can't take crticism from his manager, so he says he "carried baseball on his back" and compares himself to Jesus Christ. Baylor and Sosa continue to exchange words through the media. Trade rumors begin, but the Tribune Co. knows better than  to trade their cash cow.

-2001 Sammy forgets $20,000 cash in a hotel lobby. Obnoxious salsa music reaches record decibel level in Cubs' clubhouse. Sox SS Jose Valentin mocks him by blowing kisses to the camera after a homer vs. the Cubs.

-2002 Sammy throws a hissy fit when reporter Rick Reilly simply asks him to take a steroid test. Can you say "roid-rage?" 

-2003 is caught with a corked fucking bat! The media still downplays it, and by the seasons' end, it was all but forgotten. Ridiculous.

 

LEE ELIA'S RANT

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