The Community flosS Staff

Now, we are a complete set.

Walker, or Adam, never really had time to think of anything as funny. On any given day, you would usually see him down by the street curb, enjoying a microwaved, liverwurst sandwich, trying to blind the oncoming traffic with a mirror. Sure, many passers-by would giggle, they would titter, they would even stop to congratulate him on a job well done, by beating him mercilessly. This eventually made Adam realize that there was more to his life than retina frying; there was a whole world of comedy out there, just waiting for him to grasp it. His life's mission now would be to make an audience laugh before comedy goes the way of the slap wrist-band.

Jeff Alberts was once King of Albania, but thanks to the "Great Monkey Riots" of 1865, he was overthrown and out on his ass. He gathered his senses and headed to Arabia on a moped where he soon became known as "Larry of Arabia, seller of stress balls." He built a crooked little house and walked a crooked little mile, but soon the market for stress balls would go south. He then joined Community flosS, after living in sin, then repented. Amen.

Nick Amdor was born in Los Angeles, California and is the unknown love child of Michael J. Fox and Iggy Pop. After being adopted by a well-to-do family in Newark, Nick spent many years studying and preparing for a career as a Tribal Bushman. During his extensive study, Nick ran into a little trouble with the law, but luckily the girl did end up being 18 and all charges were dropped. Leaving his shame and forever-tainted reputation behind him, Nick stumbled upon a crazy bunch of loners who told him everything he needs to know about comedy is at the bottom of a beer bottle. Nick lives by this philosophy and has killed to protect it.

Brent Hand hails from the small town of Pleasant Plains, Illinois, twenty minutes outside of Springfield. He moved here at age three when his birth parents, Jamal and Laquanda Washington of Boise Idaho, were killed in a freak hailstorm off the Atlantic coast. He was taken in by a group of nomadic bell ringers and moved around the countryside for several years, working as court jesters for table scraps. After years of tedious slapstick, he went out searching for, "bigger and better things." His searches lead him to Carbondale Illinois; where along with the aid of his trusted assistant, tribal bushman Nick Amdor, he joined a group of five other ruggedly handsome and well-groomed young comedians that soon became known as…..Community FlosS!

Brad Gruetzmacher, daring rogue, chronic liar, gypsy child. He was kidnapped from his crib as a baby by a traveling band of gypsies. They raised him, he died, was reincarnated as another baby, kidnapped, raised again, died, reincarnated.... and so on and so on. Eventually he did live and grew to the health age of twelve, where his mind stayed forever. Confused as to when he was truly born, Brad approached the Elders. They told him he was born in the Chinese year of the Snake. Hard of hearing, Brad misunderstoond and thought that he was born Chinese as a snake. Brad changed his name to Python Lee and now believes he gains his comedic powers from his fellow snake brothers. Whenever in need of a laugh, Brad has a tendency to crawl on the floor and stick out his tongue... that or he just wraps himself around a large deer and swallows it whole.

I'm still waiting for a picture of this guy. Young punks.

Christie, soon to be known as mommy, prides herself on disciplining her fake children. See above. ^

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