Title: Revenge
Author: Danielle
Rating: G (one semi-swear word)
Disclaimer: All characters from the television series ‘Stargate SG-1’ belong to Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. I’m only borrowing them for my personal entertainment, and I promise I’ll put them back all nice and proper. I didn’t profit from writing this piece, though if someone wants to pay me huge wads of cash for the copyright, I won't argue. All original characters and situations belong to me, but you can use them if you really want to - just mail me first. Also mail me first if you want to archive this somewhere else. Thank you kindly.
Summary: Jack is mistaken for something he’s not...

“I’m not coming out!”

“Oh, come on Jack, you look very... nice.”

“Like hell. I look like a woman!”

“Are you implying something, sir?”

“Oh shee-ite!!! You know what I mean!”

“Yeah Jack, whatever helps you sleep.”

“Watch it Jackson!”

“Yeah, or he might hit you with his handbag.”

"RHYA!!!”

*snigger* “Come on, we haven’t got all day. The sooner we get this thing over with, the sooner you can ditch the pantyhose.”

“O’Neill is wearing pantyhose?!?”

“How do you know what pantyhose are Teal’c?”

“Rhya informed me about them last week.”

“You told Teal’c about underwear?!?”

“Hey, he asked why I was walking funny... And shut up Jack!”

“I wasn’t going to say anything!”

“Yeah, and I just saw a herd of blue elephants ride past on Harley Davidsons.”

“Where?”

*sigh* “Sometimes you worry me Teal’c.”

“Come on, Sir. The natives are getting restless.”

“Yeah Jack, show us what a God *snigger* really looks like!”

“One more word from you, Jackson, and I’m gonna brain you with my headdress!”

“Only if you can catch me in those high-heels!”

“Daniel! Be nice.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault that the natives think Jack looks like one of their female Gods.”

“I suppose not, but you don’t have to take advantage of the situation.”

“What? And miss the opportunity to get revenge?”

“Point.”

“Okay, I’m coming out. One snigger from any of you and we’re going home!”

“Oooohhhh, I’m so scared. Are you Sam?”

“Absolutely terrified.”

“Just remember, one word...”

“Get a move on!”

“Well, what do you think?”

*guffaw* “You look lovely *chortle* darling.”

“Right! That’s it, you’re in for it now Jackson!”

“JACK!!! Leave him alone!”

“Can’t I just pound him into the ground? Just once?”

“No!”

Since when do you give orders?”

“Since you started wearing drag?”

“Oh, go powder your nose Jack, you’ve smudged it.”

“Don’t even think about it Sir.”

“You’re no fun Carter.”

“Don’t pout Jack, it draws attention from that plunging neck-line.”

“What is this? ‘Flame Jack Day’?”

“Well, I didn’t have it marked on my calendar...”

“What is this ‘Flame Jack Day’?”

“It’s the day where we hog-tie the Colonel to a pole and stick him over a barbecue.”

“Thanks for your support Captain.”

“I try my best, Sir.”

“Or should that be Ma’am?”

“DANIEL!!”

THE END

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