“Uh- weirdness. Incoming.”
-Beka
"Hey, don't forget the silk wall hangings. I love silk wall hangings. The only reason I go is for the silk wall hangings."
-Harper
"You'll have to excuse us, it's just that we've never met anyone who could blow up a sun before."
-Trance
"This will teach me to sit at the helm. Next time, I'm all about environmental sciences!"
-Harper
"Ah, my favorite book. Chapter twelve, paragraph eight, verse three: the universe hates you. Deal with it."
-Harper
"Opening the hanger doors and deactivating aft point defences. Oh look- we're a target now."
-Harper
"Exactly. Which means a catalyst is not going to work. Unless you can get them all to politely line up to be incinerated."
-Harper
"No, really. It scans you, destroys you, transmits you through the projector and then rebuilds you from the particles up.
Hilarity ensues."
-Harper
"The deck drips with the guts of the unworthy melons. I have given life and form to the first time travelling fruit in the
history of the universe!"
-Harper
"Come on Beka, he's only piloting three fighter squads while we sit here and do nothing. What could be so difficult
about doing that?"
-Harper
"Did I mention I'm not having fun yet?"
-Harper
"Oh, um, you know, I left some bubbles in the tub, I should probably use them."
-Trance
"I'm still trying to figure out this whole poisoning yourself for fun thing. I think I like it."
-Trance
"Lucky for you, I'm a freaking genius."
-Harper
Beka: "So, are you ever gonna tell me what you're doing locked in my ship with all the sensors cut?"
Harper: "I can't- it's a secret."
Beka: "Harper. Come on, we're friends. We have no secrets."
Harper: "Oh, okay. What's your natural hair color?"
Beka: "I can't tell you, it's a secret."
"Oooh- artificial gravity field. Don't it just suck?"
-Harper
"Oh good. Insanity I can deal with. Maybe I'll go to hydroponics afterwards and run through the sprinklers."
-Harper
"Why didn't they kill you? I mean- not that I'm not glad to see you or anything."
-Harper
Trance: ". . . and a human, which means patching him up is as easy as cake."
Dylan: "Easy as pie."
Trance: "Are you sure about that? I think making pie is a lot harder than cake."
Dylan: "Just fix him Trance."
Trance: "Oh, he'll be fine. Compared to baking, brain surgery is a snap."
"Trance, the last time I gave you a weapon, you started a chain reaction."
-Harper
"I know, I *know*! More work for me."
-Harper
Harper: "Okay, I can get most of this stuff- but we'll have to rig for a fast getaway."
Rev Bem: "Harper!"
Dylan: "Harper- we're not gonna steal anything."
Rev Bem: "Thank you."
"Wow, that's really sad that a whole world had to die . . . but you look great."
-Harper
Dylan: "Why do you think he attacked you?"
Harper: "Jealous of my good looks, maybe?"
Harper: "Jeager wants to clock me. I don't wanna be a bullseye on your butt."
Beka: "Dammit Harper, you're gonna get yourself killed! And by the way, that's *my* ship you're steering into oblivion,
so get your skinny ass back to the hangar deck, *now*!"
Harper: "Oh, now don't get all sentimental on me boss."
Dylan: "I thought you said it was all clear?"
Trance: "It was *then*!"
"I'm the Captain. I'm always right . . . Except when I'm wrong."
-Dylan Hunt
"Another of the universe's little jokes . . . at our expense."
-Rev
"Hey don't forget- I created her. Now who's the god?"
-Harper
Beka: "Don't get too excited- I'm still not calling you 'Sir.'"
Dylan: "Oh then I guess 'Your Majesty' is out of the question?"
"Is this the part where we bravely run away?"
-Harper
"The thing is- as far as the universe is concerned- we're all bugs! Just hoppin' along, lovin' life, until one day fate
decides to introduce each and every one of us to our very own, personalized windscreen."
-Harper
"You know . . . I can cook too."
-Tyr
"You know the old saying: 'Slipstream- it's not the best way to travel faster than light, it's just the only way.'"
-Dylan
"Who's telling this story, me or you?"
-Harper
"If Harper were here, he'd be able to put this map board together with two paper clips and a kiss . . . of course- Harper's surfing."
-Trance
"Do I have a working slipstream drive? Or do I strap the pair of you to a set of oars?"
-Dylan
"Now if we're through, I'd like to get back to my troubled mind."
-Rev Bem
"Welcome to my ambush!"
-Tyr
"Yeah, but you like everyone, even people who try to kill you. *Especially* people that try to kill you."
-Beka
"Now can we blow them up?"
-Tyr
"I read the first officer's job description- playing devil's advocate is on page three."
-Beka
"What if they start shooting? How am I supposed to run in a dress?"
-Beka
"You saying you're too smart for me?"
-Harper
"Oh we have plenty of currency. It's just that none of it's . . . current."
-Dylan
"Oh, anyone who touches my basketball hoop answers to me personally."
-Dylan
"I'm sorry- Captain Hunt has stepped away from his desk. Please leave a message after the tone from the funny little guy- beep!"
-Harper
"I wish you would stop looking for beauty in things that want to kill us."
-Tyr
"Captain on deck!"
"I'll alert the media."
-Rommie and Beka
"Robbed of my superpowers, I will have to rely on mere human ingenuity."
-Beka
"Don't treat me like a child- I am not a child! You are! Or are you? How old are you, Trance? I don't even know! I don't know
anything about you- where ya from? Who ya working for? Why are you purple?!"
-Beka
"Once a century. Wow- they get even less action than you, Harper."
-Beka
"The were playing Wagner. It's the most fun I've had in about six months."
-Tyr
"Fine. I was practically electrocuted- I can still see little dots."
-Harper
"So- as the senior medical expert here, I can tell you I am not gonna have a stroke, okay? Now are we through here?
I don't know, Dr. Harper, are we? Yes, I think we are. Uh- meeting adjourned."
-Harper
"I can fix everything on board!"
-Harper
"You're making seductive overtures to me in a dead language?"
-Rommie
Beka: "Umm, where'd ya get all the candles?"
Tyr: "I rendered them from the fat of my enemies."
Beka: "Can't wait to see the entree."
"Any word from our adoring fans?"
-Harper
"Ladies and germs- on your left: Hastori's World. Right next to the galaxy's biggest ball of twine."
-Harper
"Harper: the amount of garbage he creates and consumes boggles the mind."
-Rommie
"You don't get it, do you? You harm one hair on her head, and I will come after you. And then you'll have to kill me.
Because I absolutely will not stop until one of us is Magog food."
-Harper
"If this is that good cop/bad cop game you were telling me about, isn't this the part where I'm supposed to play the good cop?"
-Trance
Harper: "What? You want me to be nice to him?"
Trance: "You're supposed to be the good guy."
Harper: "Correction- standing next to you, Beka, Rev, Rommie, Dylan, and . . . uh, well, anyway- then I'm one of the good guys."
"Hey, I'm all for spreading good will. And if I'm very lucky, the good will commence any minute now."
-Harper
"And you know why? Cause I could get away with it. Because I'm cute!"
-Trance
"That's strange, aren't we forgetting something? Yes, I think we are. Something important. Oh yeah- he killed you!"
-Harper
Gerentex: "Aren't you dead?"
Trance: "I got better."
Gerentex: "Hhmm. Lucky you."
"Sadly, I doubt if our beneficent commander would appreciate it if we were to nuke the planet from orbit."
-Tyr
"There are two kinds of people in this universe Mr. Harper. The kind with loaded guns, and the kind that open doors.
You open doors."
-Gerentex
". . . because if you don't show each other a little peace, love, and understanding, I'm going to kill you both!"
-Trance
Andulasia: "Shhhh. I prefer my men strong and silent."
Trance: "Well then, you won't like Harper."
Harper: "Trance, would you . . ."
"Any thoughts, your purpleness?"
"Signs are hazy- ask again later."
-Harper and Trance
"Fire team Bravo asked me to tell you that they have a better plan . . . They wanna go home."
-Dylan
"Why ruin the day with a lot of unnecessary bleeding and screaming?"
-Dylan
"As Harper would say- that would suck."
-Rev Bem
"Perhaps the commanding officer would like to ask Tyr why he and his mercenaries are stealing from the relief supplies."
-Rommie
"Just remember- he's pretty to look at. Lovely to hold. But if you break him- consider him sold."
-Beka
"Alright everyone- best behavior. You're all ambassadors for the Commonwealth."
-Dylan
"Have you seen my force lance?"
-Dylan
"So why is it whenever anyone goes on a suicide mission they take my ship?"
"Because it has seat belts."
-Beka and Dylan
"She hates you."
"I know. She's hot, *and* she's a good judge of character."
-Beka and Harper
"So what if she holds me in utter contempt? At least she's thinking of me."
-Harper
Trance: "And what if they're not decoys?"
Beka: "Then when we get to the pearly gates, make sure everyone lines up behind Rev- he's got spin control."
Rev: "I'll see what I can do."
Tyr: "Shall we dance, Master Harper?"
Harper: "You do care."
"What do you mean you don't recognize me? I'm you!"
-Rommie
Harper: "Wait! Wai- wai- wai- wait. I was thinking . . . maybe they're not so tough, ya know?
Maybe- uh- maybe we can take them in hand to hand combat. What do ya think?"
Tyr: "That's my *boy*!"
"Why is it that whenever I start to become optimistic, you become a pessimist?"
-Beka
Harper: "It's half mystical mumbo jumbo, half putrid poetry, and half bad math."
Rommie: "That's three halves."
Harper: "Like I said- bad math."
"Hey- I'm choosy about who I work for, ya know."
-Harper
"Do I strike you as some sort of starry-eyed dreamer?"
-Beka
"Harper, I saved your skin before and I'll save it again. But you've got to
get off my back, or so help me I will drop you back on that trash heap where I found you."
-Beka
"Did you wake up insane? Or was it a slow onset?"
-Beka
"We are here. On your left would be a black hole we'll call, say, uh, 'rock'.
And on your right: one we'll call 'hard place'."
-Harper
"Tarn Vedra's been lost for over 300 years. We do not have to find it this morning."
-Dylan
"Tell me there's an afterlife for androids. And that all good cyborgs go to heaven."
-Gabriel
"So- permission to chop yourself into little pieces is officially denied."
-Dylan
Dylan: "There's only one way to deal with terrorists- locate their base of operations
and destroy them."
Tyr: "I love that answer, Captain Hunt."
"Hey- I finally got you in my bed."
-Harper
"Oh please- don't make me puke! Oh, this is so nice, I swear there's a song in here
somewhere. Something about choosing love over duty. Oh wait- let me get my concertina."
-Harper
"Actually 'love is your sandwich', but thanks for playing."
-Beka
Dylan: "Trance, that's Iridano sign language. And I think you just made a
rather naughty suggestion to Harper."
Trance: "Oh well- fair is fair. Harper made a rather naughty suggestion to
nearly half the women there at the reception. Without success I might add."
"Okay. Alright. I know when I'm not wanted. I usually don't listen, but I know."
-Harper
"I love physics."
-Harper