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Frankly, Scarlett
I blink sleepily. I'm in my own bed for a change. Sleeping in my clothes? Looks like late afternoon out... just a nap I guess. Something big happened today. Something terrible. But also something good? It's all a little hazy. I come awake slowly, but feeling better than I have in a very long time.
The door opens. Kennedy! She puts her hand on mine, worried. "How do you feel? What do you remember?"
I sit up, letting it come back to me. "I remember you tricking me into a date... and I remember kissing you. Quite a kiss... we started it here, and ended up outside."
"That's all you remember?"
"Well... and a bunch of really bad stuff in the middle of the kiss. Me calling you a slut... and trapping you and Amy in the lecture hall... and trying to kill you...! I'm so sorry, Kennedy! If I had hurt you...!"
"Shhh. You be still. Just rest. You could barely walk after the spell broke."
"I think I'm good now."
"Too bad. I like taking care of you."
"Well maybe I could just fake it, like you did."
"I never fake it." Somehow she can make something dirty with just the sparkle in her eyes.
"Where's the gun?"
"I gave it to Buffy to get rid of. She's back now. With Spike. No more headaches."
"Good. What... did you tell her?"
"I told her the spell with Warren was worse than you thought. But you beat it."
"You mean you beat it." Somehow, it was her kiss, her caring, that let me free myself.
"We beat it. None of Buffy's business. I also told her that that girl–Amy?–she must be working for the First. She knew I was a potential. She did a–a penance malediction? Is that right? She put a hex on you. And Buffy said this isn't the only time the First has come after you. Looks like you and me are both targets."
"Amy...? She did that to me? Turned me into Warren?" So Amy is lost to the darkness. What a waste.
"She cast the spell. You picked your punishment. And when she found out we kissed, she popped me down in front of your gun just for kicks." Of course... a penance malediction. At the worst possible time! "But it's over, Willow. You don't deserve to suffer, and I simply won't have it!" She hands me a mug. "Tea. Drink."
I sip, and answer very quietly. "But I do suffer. The spell is over but that's not. I won't ever forget Tara." Tears well up. After almost a year, I know by now that some things don't ever really heal.
"Good. Then she's still alive for you. And she wants you to be happy. And you know she does, or I'd be feeding tea to Warren right now."
I lower my head and look into my mug, lost in my thoughts. Terrible thoughts. And a few beautiful ones, too. Sometimes Kennedy has about as much tact as Anya, but her bluntness just might come from caring. She's the kind of person who tells you what you don't want to hear. But maybe you need to.
I look at her, and somehow I find that she doesn't annoy me anymore. She amazes me. "You faced down a gun for me! You kissed Warren for me!"
"Well, that's how good a kisser you are."
"How did you know it would work?"
"I didn't, really. But I knew what you deserved, and it wasn't punishment."
"And I guess a kiss from you is a big prize."
"That's how good a kisser I am!"
"You know, I don't normally kiss girls I hardly know."
"That's OK, I do it all the time. Look... you make me happy. Here I am torn away from my family and my big house and all my friends, carted all the way to Vampire Junction, California to hide from a bunch of thugs with very sharp knives and an evil so old that nobody knows how to stop it. But I don't go through the day thinking of that. I go through the day thinking of you."
"I think it's called a crush." But I smile, touched.
"Worst crush in history. I'm helpless under your spell! Always had a thing for redheads... the redder the better. Actually, my first crush was on Scarlett O'Hara. Might be some connection there."
I smile again. "If you ever see me without the red hair, promise me you'll run."
"I can't promise anything. I've already seen you without red hair–or breasts for that matter–and I didn't run then. Besides, the way I hear it, when the black magic takes you, running isn't much use."
"It's not a joke, Kennedy. The magic does take me, even after all I learned in England. Maybe not like it did when I drained the books at the Magic Box. But every now and then, it takes me. Just for a moment. Just for a moment, I'm evil again."
"I'm sorry, I don't believe that. If I ever see you on the black magic, I'll know that the real Willow is still trapped inside. And she's still a sweetheart. And I know what Xander knows. A little love can bring you back."
I ignore the 'L' word but I take her hands solemnly. "Kennedy... thank you. For being there when I needed you. Even when I didn't want you. Wouldn't let myself even think of wanting you. Even when I rejected you like that. Throwing you back with a spell! I don't like that I can treat people that way. Anyway... thank you."
"You're welcome. As harsh rejections go, that spell thing was pretty effective. But no hard feelings: you were half Warren."
"I'm serious. You're kind of a pest–more than kind of–but you're very brave. You don't take those kinds of risks just 'cause you're hot for someone."
"You're right. When I first saw you I was just hot for you. No one can blame me for that! But it's been turning into something more. I thought nothing could be more fun than flirting with a beautiful woman in her own bed–"
"Flirting in code?" I interrupt.
"Sleeping arrangements can be flirting in code at its finest! But you moved to the floor, and you know, I'm glad. I look forward to our little chats each night more than just about anything."
"So you played sick to get a little more!" I scold her, but there's something appealing about her directness that makes it hard to get mad at her again.
"I'm sorry about that. It was awesome getting all that attention from you, but that's not the way I want you to care. I want you to know I didn't just do it for the hell of it. I really wanted to go have my Slayer vision with the others. Sometimes I don't think any of them take being a potential serious, the way I do. But then you saw me in bed, and you asked if I was OK... and I was, I was just tired... but I loved the way you looked at me. You cared if I was OK or not. So I let myself be sick. But at least I stopped pretending. I didn't want to lie to you."
"You stopped pretending so that you could trick me into going on a date."
"Now Willow, you can't tell me you weren't a little suspicious about my 'mission' to the Bronze."
Yeah, I guess I was. I was ready to be flattered or storm out, and I didn't know which until I acually was storming out. "I've been a little suspicious of you ever since you maneuvered every other person in the house to get into my bedroom alone each night!"
She smiles. "And I was only 75% sure you were gay, at the time!"
At the Bronze, I actually managed to kid myself into being surprised that she knew I was gay. I couldn't have consciously admitted that she knew, or it would have been a date. And I would have just stayed home depressed and alone.
She turns serious. "I have to tell you, Willow, I think something is going to happen between you and me. I just have this feeling. I don't know what's going to happen... but that's half the fun."
"In the end, I did have fun at the Bronze," I confess. Maybe that's my way of saying that one day she might–possibly–be right.
"I'm glad I talked you into staying. I hope we have a lot more fun."
"You're gonna have to lead the way here... I'm in unknown territory!" I felt like a total beginner around Tara at first. I hadn't even realized I was lesbian for years! I kinda thought I had gotten past that, but Kennedy makes me feel like an amateur all over again.
"You think too much." She leans forward and the thinking evaporates. We're kissing again, and it's... wonderful. She called my freckles lickable. She wasn't lying. Never had my face licked before, but she's good at it!
We part, breathing hard, pupils wide. "Mirror," I say.
She grins and passes me a hand mirror.
There I am! A little flushed, but all female. "All good." I toss the mirror aside, and this time I initiate the kissing. Running my hands down her back, feeling muscles that might one day be a Slayer's. She caresses me, too. Lower, though. I freeze for a moment, almost objecting to her boldness. But then I'd have to stop the kissing. And besides, I think I like having her rub my butt. So much for flirting in code!
Up for air. "I'm really not like this..."
"Me neither. Usually when I see that look in a girl's eyes, I have her bra off long before now. I'm taking things slow just for you!"
"Slow is good. And... can we not tell people about this?"
"Ashamed to be with me?"
"Not even a little bit. It's just... You'll think this is silly..."
"Tell me."
"I like having a secret like this. Something that's just for me and only me, until I'm ready to share."
"Never tried that approach. I'm more of a make-out-in-public sort of girl. But you know what? You way sounds fun too!"
I look over at Tara's picture. When I first kissed Kennedy, I was ashamed. I thought I should turn the picture away. Now I don't feel that. I'm not ashamed, and I don't need forgiveness. I feel full of love for someone who should be here and isn't. Love that won't fade, I know that now. And I feel her love, telling me to live the life that I still have.
Kennedy follows my gaze. "I can't be her."
"Say her name."
"I can't be Tara. No one can ever be Tara."
So true. "Then be Kennedy."
"I can be all sorts of Kennedy!"
I hug her. It's nice. I need this. I need it so badly.
We separate at the sound of a knock at the door. Dawn announcing dinner. She's got that little amused look in her eyes! The same one Buffy's been giving me ever since Kennedy and I became roommates! Honestly, the Summers sisters have a one track mind. Or maybe they're just not as blind to certain things as I've been. I guess it's kind of sweet how they want me to have someone.
At dinner, Kennedy's fingers find mine under the table. I'm surprised by it. And surprised how much that simple touch makes my heart soar. We don't look at each other, but we both try to hide little smiles. We let go whenever someone walks behind us. And then we hold hands all over again.
I had thought she just wanted something for herself, but that's too easy. She wants something for both of us.
And anyway... it's nice to be wanted. I'd like her to feel wanted too. It's not like I'm the only lonely person on the planet. She acts like she's fine with whatever comes her way, but I realize now that she's lonely too. It would feel nice to take some lonliness away from someone.
At bedtime, I lay out my sleeping bag on the floor as usual.
Kennedy picks up my pillow and sets it on the bed instead. "No floor for you. You've had a rough day."
I'll tell you who has a one track mind! "Kennedy, I think sleeping together might be a problem with the whole 'going slow' thing."
"I'll sleep on the floor. You take the bed."
"You never offered to sleep on the floor before!" Which kinda pissed me off. This is my room!
"Well, you have to realize, I was relying on the whole bed ploy to seduce you. I had no idea what a challenge you'd turn out to be!"
"Not used to being told 'no,' are you?"
"I'm the original spoiled brat."
But she's not. She may be rich, but when she was dumped into our chaotic household, facing an enemy that needs her dead, she never once complained. And she lies down on the floor without complaining, letting me take the bed. I almost forgot how soft and nice a real bed is!
The minutes pass. I hear her grunting in the near-darkness as she tries to get comfortable with not much between her and solid wood. I know the feeling. It really is very uncomfortable. And we all need to be at our best to face the First.
"Kennedy... I can't do it to you. Come on into bed. Just behave yourself!"
"I'm fine, really."
"No you're not. Come on. It's a big bed. Don't waste it."
"OK. Thanks." She moves her pillow up and slips under the covers. Naked! She's managed to strip since the lights went out.
"Do you always sleep nude?" I ask, somewhat shocked.
"Nah. Just since I came to Sunnydale."
I shake my head. Should I tell her to put on PJs? Or at least underpants!
"Willow, you do know that this is the final phase of the bed ploy? Give you some time to appreciate how bad the floor is, and then trade and give you the bed? Make you feel sorry for me?"
I shake my head. "You're unbelievable."
"You're delicious."
I'm gaping wordlessly. She is so stubborn and brazen... and it makes me feel very special.
"Is a goodnight kiss is acceptable?" she asks, a little too innocently. "I mean, we're in the kissing phase, right?"
I have at least a little initiative of my own. I put my hand in her hair and kiss her. Slow and sweet this time.
Ah, to hell with slow and sweet. We devour each other!
My hands find her naked back, and soon her body is pressed to mine, legs entwined, only the thin fabric of my pajamas between us. How did things get this far so fast? She's under my spell is she? I think it's the other way around.
My hand finds her naked breast. Hers begin to unbutton my top. I can't very well protest unless I'm willing to move my own hand. And I'm not.
"I can't believe this is happening," I breathe. "I mean... you must still be in high school!"
"Nope! Dropped out of twelfth grade a month ago. It was a Bringer thing." She continues undoing buttons.
I rub her breast, hesitantly, touching the nipple lightly. I love the feel of it. But I keep talking, to cover my shyness at touching someone who I've barely begun to know. "Lots of girlfriends I bet."
"Three."
"You have three girlfriends? Now?" Pang of jealousy.
"Not three now! Only you, Willow. If I'd left someone back home, I would hardly be doing this! Three total before today. Ever. Since my first when I was twelve."
Twelve?! "You've only ever had three..."
"I've kissed about a hundred girls. Copped a feel with most of them. Flirted with a thousand–at least! And when I know what I want, I go after it. But that doesn't happen often. You're special, Willow."
There's something... unexpected about her... Her smile? The smell of her hair? The strength and courage that are so like Buffy's, and yet all her own? The way she makes herself look all cute and innocent, knowing full well what it does to me? Something captured my attention from our very first meeting. I'm only just beginning to admit it to myself. "You're something else yourself."
With a sly, sexy smile, she sits astride my hips and lets the covers fall away. My mouth opens, speechless at her naked beauty. She smiles, relishing my eyes exploring her body. Her breasts rise and fall with the ragged breaths of passion held in check. Her sex is hairless... something I've never seen before. Her inner lips peeking out with no cover makes her seem more naked than naked. Looking up at her, she seems completely vulnerable and completely in charge.
I whisper hoarsely. "I do have some self-control, you know."
"I know. I like the challenge." She sits lower, her sex very close to mine. "I have self-control too. But we could die tomorrow. The First is after us. I don't intend to exercise any more control than you tell me I have to."
She reaches down and finishes opening my pajama top. I feel her eyes on my breasts, and then the light touch of her fingers. "Kennedy..." I breathe.
"We can stop any time."
Like hell we can. I lay my hands on her naked thighs and a shiver passes through me. I am so aroused I can barely think. But I don't know what to do next. Keep going, or back off?
She takes the lead again, moving my hand and gently placing my fingers against her sex. Her vagina is very wet. Suddenly I want to give her pleasure, more than anything in the world. I explore her with my fingers. She's as hot as a furnace inside.
Then she begins to hump my hand. Doing the work for me. Without any self-consciousness at all, her hips grind against mine and against my fingers. I've never seen anything like it. Her breasts bob, her whole body writhes. Her mouth opens, gasping, while her eyes stay locked on mine. It's downright filthy. It's amazing.
She limits her reactions to soft grunts. I suspect she'd wake the house if she let herself go. Her face slowly twists as though in pain, and she bites her lip. "Willow... Willow..." she breathes my name.
I work my fingers deeper into her, shaking with my own arousal as she reaches her climax. Her vagina clenches on my fingers–so tightly!–over and over, in time with her agonized gasps.
She collapses weakly onto me. I wipe my wet fingers on my pajama leg, eyes still staring into hers, inches away, as she recovers her senses.
We kiss, and her cocky attitude is gone, replaced by sheer desire.
No, more than desire. The tears in her eyes remind me that she has real feelings for me. As I have for her. Somehow, I do. I won't call those feelings 'love' yet... but I think one day that just might turn out to be exactly the word. I'm willing to find that out.
She kisses my throat, my collarbone. Then my breasts, making me gasp. She spends an eternity there, making me tremble and arch my back. And then she moves to my stomach, sliding her body lower and letting the blankets fall to the floor.
And then somehow my pajama bottoms are off one leg and bunched around the other, and she's between my thighs. Kissing my inner thighs, my belly. Licking. With a shameless style all her own. Incredibly erotic and tender all at once.
"My god... Kennedy..."
"I told you I have a thing for red hair."
When she finally moves her mouth to my sex, I regret wiping my fingers. I want to taste her, too. This morning, I was at the Bronze just trying to get away from her. Now I want to know what she tastes like. This isn't me! But it must be a part of me. Something she brings out in me.
I writhe as her tongue teases my most sensitive parts. She makes as much sound pleasuring me as she did when she was lost in her own pleasure. She's positively desperate... her face pressed hard into me, getting slippery. I've had sex this good before... but not quite this kind of sex.
My hips lift off the bed, helping her to press deep into me. "Kennedy!" I cry once, and then my body convulses in pleasure, my breath coming in a series of choking gasps.
Long, lazy cuddling follows.
I awaken in the morning to find her reading. We're both naked under the covers.
What do you say after a night like that? I really am in unknown territory. "How long you been up?"
"About an hour."
"Did you eat breakfast?"
"I wasn't going to have you wake up alone."
How sweet. "That was... pretty amazing last night."
She smiles her saucy little smile. "It certainly was."
"We went too far, didn't we? We should have waited. We should be going slower."
"Frankly, Scarlett, I don't give a damn."
I look into her eyes. She's a puzzle it will take a long time to solve. But I look forward to it. My heart is light in way I'd almost forgotten could happen. "Me neither." We kiss. We make out. It's amazing. She's amazing.
"I don't sleep with girls I don't care about, Willow. I mean, care a lot."
"You were ready to sleep with me on first sight."
"OK... sleep. Kiss. Make out. But I don't have sex with just anyone. In fact, I've never had sex with anyone who wasn't my girlfriend."
I start to object, irritated. What we did was pretty hot, but it wasn't empty. It was making love, not having sex. And... "I'm not your girlfriend."
"You should be. Otherwise I really am a slut."
"Oh? What about me?"
She nods. "Absolutely. You too. I think we'd better be girlfriends. You know... strictly on a trial basis. We've been through all the steps... the first date, the first kiss, holding hands..."
"We've been through the first steps in one day!"
"We've known each other longer than that." Her eyes sparkle. She knows I don't really want to resist. Despite all the little games, she's more honest with both of us than I am with myself.
"Yeah. We have. Guess what?"
"What?" she whispers, moving in close.
"I look forward to chatting at night too."
She smiles and kisses my nose. "It will be easier with neither of us on the floor."
"Can we leave a sleeping bag there anyway? You know, not make a big deal out if it with everyone yet?"
"Are you placing the offer of 'secret girlfriend' on the table?"
I nod, grinning. I do like the sound of that. Part of me thinks it's wrong to even imagine being happy again. But part of me knows it isn't. She's right: if I didn't underdstand that, then the malediction would have taken me and I'd really be Warren by now. Probably in league with the First, too.
"Offer accepted." We shake on it. Then kiss. It's hard, because we can't stop smiling.
At breakfast, she starts calling me Scarlett, in front of everyone. She doesn't explain to them why. It embarrasses me and delights me all at once. She tries to feed me a bite of scambled egg without getting caught, but Dawn starts to turn our way and she doesn't make it. The egg goes in my lap. We try not to giggle. I feel like I'm in high school myself!
Buffy shoots us a glance. Maybe even a smirk. Kennedy can look innocent on command, but not me. I look at my plate and concentrate on not smiling. We're holding hands under the table again. It makes it very difficult to eat.
"This is silly!" I whisper to Kennedy.
"I know. Don't you just love it?"
~ The End ~
Does this mean WyndGyrl is done writing Willow/Tara? Not a chance! I have several new W/T stories outlined and waiting for the right time to write. Like Willow, I have room in my heart for both. But I'll always be a Tara fan first. Note and Season 7 spoiler: I'm glad to realize that it turns out Willow and Kennedy did not move quite as fast as this on day one!
If you enjoyed this story, try my Willow/Tara fics, including Nowhere Far Enough and Witch's Faith. (Most of my other stories, including Dark Before Dawn and CV, also have Willow/Tara subplots.)
I always appreciate feedback in my Guestbook, or by email. Reader responses will determine whether I publish more stories, and will help improve them! Thanks for reading! (If you'd like to be notified when I post new stories, let me know.)
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