QuEEn
And Cinderella
A Play
by,
Wendy
Rodriguez
Queen:
“Mirror mirror in my hand who is
the
fairest of all the land?”
Mirror:
“Well, not you!”
Queen:
“what!, oh you piece of
err!(slams
mirror down) ..hey, (picks the
mirror
up) if I’m not the fairest, then
who
is?”
Mirror:
“Why, my my, Ms. ugly,
wants
to know... the princess Kystal!”
Queen:
(mirror put down) “Well
we’ll
have to do something about that! “
End
scene
kystal:
(brushing hair) “La de da
de
da (child’s voice) oh beautiful hair, I
don’t
need no nair!” (singing to brush)
Fairy:
“ohh, I have come in at a
wrong
time.”(plugs ears).
Kystal:
“OH fairy god mother!
whats
up in the woods!”
Fairy:
“Oh. well not much, but
someone
is plotting to put a spell on you
soon...”
Kystal:
“What, that’s not good,
who!”
Fairy:
“Oh you know, the evil
queen!”
Kystal:
“The Queen! i’m no
match
for her! What am I to do! What
am
I to do! “(worried, screaming in
shock)
Fairy:
“Well, i’m not to sure yet
umm...
“
End
Scene
Queen:
(in lab,) “Iggor! get me
the
bag!”
.
Iggor:
“Get the bag, I always get
the
bag! I’m tired of the bag. (brings bag)
Here’s
your cauldron, and spices, and
other
spices.”
Queen:
“Thank you Iggor, now
hand
me everything I ask for! Ear of a
nute!”
Iggor:
“Ear of a nute, ear of a
nute.
Oh here!”
Queen:
“Ear of a nute! Now, tail
of
a donkey!”
Iggor:
“Tail of a donkey, tail of a
donkey.
Oh here!”
Queen:
“Tail of a donkey! Now
Iggor,
hand me the, Nair!!” (menacing
laugh)
Iggor:
“Nair, nair, oh! Nair!”
Queen:
“Nair! (laughter) Now
chant
Iggor! Oh holy cauldron I do boil
make
Kystal into something (thinks)
Ugly!
make her into a hag or some sort
of
an old bag!” (laughter)
End
Scene
Kystal:
“Ohh fairy godmother, I
don’t
feel so good. Ohh! there’s
something
in my mouth, mmm it tastes
like
cotton! What’s happening to me!”
Fairy:
“Well, I, I don’t know!
Ummm
“(zaps Kystal with wand)
Kystal:
“OWWW! what you
trying
to do kill me!”
(somewhat
muffled)
Fairy:
“Well, no!” Oh bad waund!
(gets
new waund, and zaps Kystal)
Kystal:
“OWWW!! you are
trying
to kill me! what’s happened to me!
what
am I!”
Fairy:
“Well you look like a, dufel
bag.”
Kystal:
“A duffel bag! I cant be a
duffel
bag, what the_ ! oh what am I to
do
what am I to do!”
Fairy:
“Well I don’t know, umm
let
me get your prince, we can think up
something,
I hope. GUARD!”
Guard:
“YES MAM! “
Fairy:
“Get prince valiant! we
need
him now!”
END
SCENE
Queen:
Well ,(piercing into her
mirror),
“Mirror mirror in thy hand, who
is
the beautifulest of all the land?”
Mirror:
“Well, my queen, you
are.
However your spell went wrong and
well,
you turned Kystal into a bag!, now
someone
like, oh lets say, prince Valiant
can,
avenge her!”
Queen:
“Prince valiant, oh he is
no
match for me! no one is!”
END
SCENE
Fairy:
“Guard! sometime this
century
please!”
Guard:
“Sorry mam! Here he is!”
Fairy:
“Um, can you move?”
Guard:
“Uh, yes mam, sorry
mam!”
Prince
V: “Hey, what’s up fairy
godmother!”
Fairy:
“Well you see the evil
queen,
turned Kystal into a bag, and we
need
to avenge her, and get her back to
normal.”
Prince
V: “Oh, hey Kystal, how’s
it
goin’?”
Kystal:
“What do you mean! I a
bag!”
Prince
V: “Oh yeah, ok, so
what’s
the plan?”
Fairy:
“Ok, you go to the castle.”
Prince
V: “I go to the castle.”
Fairy:
“You knock on the door,
and
they let you in.”
Prince
V: “I knock on the door
and
they let me in!
Fairy:
“They lead you to the
queen
and, you then assassinate her!”
Prince
V: “I assassinate the
queen!
With what? “
Fairy:
“Anything!, now go!”
End
Scene
Prince
V: Ok, so I leave the
castle,
and I close the door, ‘cous they
don’t
like it when I leave it open. So i’m
walkin’,
and I pass a tree, and another
tree,
and then a cow, and a horse, and
another
tree, and a cow. Moo. Oh and
then
i”m at the queens door, and I knock,
but
no one is answering the door, so I
knock
louder. “Is anyone home!”
Queen:
Iggor! I think someone is
at
the door.
Iggor:
Are you sure?
Prince
V: Hello!, is someone
HOME!
Queen:
Yes Iggor someone Is at
the
door.
Iggor:
Shall I get it? (afraid of the
door)
Queen:
nooo!, I only pay you do
nothing
around here. you idiot! get the
door!
Iggor:
“ohhh, ok.” I go to get
the
door, but I hate getting the door
‘cous,
i’m always afraid, someone might
be
on the other side
“who’s
there?”
Prince
V: (violently knocking and
screaming)
“IS ANYONE HOME!”
Iggor:
“Who, is there!”
(Shouting)
Prince
V: “Oh! It’s prince
Valiant.”
Queen:
“Who is it Iggor?”
(Shouting)
Iggor:
“Its the prince! shall I let
him
in?” (shouting)
Queen:
“Yes, but check him at
the
door way!” (Shouting)
Iggor:
“Hey V.”
Prince
V: “Hey, can I see the
Queen?”
Iggor:
“Yes but before you come
in
you must leave all guns, knives,
potients,
drugs, spells, and any other
harmful
parifinalia here.”
Prince
V: “Aww, Dam! (dropping
his
“harmful stuff” ) gun, knives, swards,
drugs,
errr other drugs, ok.”
Iggor:
“Ok, now I can show you
to
the Queen.”
Prince
V: So i”m walkin’, and the
place
is pretty scary, ‘cous its evil in all,
and
then we turn the corner and I see the
Queen,and
she says.
Queen:
“Oh Prince valiant! kiss
my
hand.” (puts out hand)
prince
V: And I kiss her hand.
“Mmmmuawha!”
Queen:
“So what brings you
here?”
Prince
V: “Well you see you
turned
Kystal into a bag, and I did come
here
to assassinat you, but then Iggor
made
me leave all my stuff at the door,
so
I guess I have to ask nicely. can you
please
change Kystal back?”
Queen:
“Well, (thinks) no! ‘Cous’
then
I wouldn’t be the prettiest!, look,
(opens
a secret door), down there.”
(points
down)
Prince
V: “Down there?”
Queen:
“Yes down there, there is
an
old box with pictures in it, can you
bring
it up?”
Prince
V: “Yeah I guess so.” So
I go
down there, and its really dark in all,
‘cous’
there’s no light really, and i”m
looking
around, and, I don’t see no box!
”Hey
I don’t see a box!”
Queen:
“Are you sure?” (closes
door)
PrinceV:
“Hey its really dark
down
here! i”m afraid of the dark!”
Queen:
“Oh well to bad! I have
locked
you down there, and now no one
can
avenge Kystal, and I will be the
pritiest!
“(laughter)
PrinceV:
“HELP ME! IM
AFRAID
OF THE DARK!”
Queen:
“Oh no one can hear you,
to
bad, now I turn you into something! “
ohhh
holly powers, turn this prince, in
my
dungeon into something, oh I don’t
know,
bad!
Prince
V: “Hellllp!!!!”
Queen:
“Oh see evil prevails!”
(Menacing
laughter)
The
End
