The Arabian Prince
by mzbadgurl

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PLOT: The Arabian prince Darien is given Persian princess Serena as a present, and immediately the girl falls in love with the dashing man, even as she suffers due to her feelings. Will love conquer all, or was their love doomed from the start?
NEW CHARACTERS: Kitya Lyn the maid, and some unnamed ethereal lady-man-thing
LENGTH: 3626 words

COMMENTS: Good lord. The history major in me is twitching badly at this fanfic.

Forget the fact that this fanfic is a badly written AR to begin with, with little sense of time or setting. Forget the five second rape scene and the cliched "victim loves her rapist" silliness. Forget the fact that, once more, Beryl is the buxom baddie (really, give the poor woman a break already!) that wants to ruin everyone's life. Forget the bad formatting and spelling and grammatical errors. Forget that they call Serena's dad "Kenjin". It's all about the historical and logic inaccuracies, which earns this a place amongst the worst of the worst. And the amount of them makes me - and everyone else - whimper.

In fact, let me put them into a list for all of you to digest:


1. Persians and Arabians loved each other. Despite centuries of religious wars and persecutions based on differing state religions, the royal families regularly intermarried.

2. Women had a lot of power in pre-modern Arabia. They could hold occupations in medicine and could talk back to members of the royal family with no repercussions whatsoever.

3. Arabia consisted mainly of the royal palace and the house on the far side of Arabian desert. It took less than a paragraph to get to either place.

4. Arabians named their children "Darien", "Beryl" and "Kitya". "Serena" was a common Persian name.

5. It was clearly blasphemous for a man to have a wife and a mistress in Islamic Arabia. After all, how humiliating it must be for the wife!

6. Pre-modern Arabians and Persians regularly drove cars to and from places.

7. Busch Gardens was a popular Arabian restaurant.

8. Arabian women who cheated on their husbands/masters and fathered children with other men were, at worst, left out for the rest of the story after the discovery.

9. Men can feel a woman's "innocence" (aka hymen) and know when to pull out so as not to rupture it.

10. A baby's movements can be felt before the end of the first trimester.

11. Judging by the accents, British peasants regularly went into the employ of the Arabian royal family.

12. Men cry crystal tears.

What else can be said about this fanfiction? Not much else. Except that the rule of thumb seems to be that no matter how big of an ass Darien is to his lady, he gets a happy ending. And he's "gonna be daddy". Yeah.

Read it and weep.

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