The Sailor Dream/No Need for Sailor Fantasies!
By Yami Goku

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PLOT:Tenchi Masaki falls in love with Sailor Moon. But Sailor Moon is just a cartoon character....or is she?
LENGTH: 517 words
RATING: M/Hentai

COMMENTS: In regards to why one would make a crossover, this story no doubt falls into the category of "pair-off". It's a common pair-off too - Tenchi Muyo/Sailor Moon is probably as old as the Sailor Moon English fandom, maybe even older when you take into consideration that both came out in the same year in Japan. But unlike most pair-offs with these two, one of them doesn't actually exist in this story. One of them is devised completely of celluloid. Plot twist! Sailor Moon is nothing but a cartoon character in this story!

I kid you not. The plot is about how Tenchi - Tenchi, who won't choose between Ayeka and Ryoko, both of whom are more than willing to blow the world up to get him - falls in love and masturbates to the story of a cartoon character on a TV screen. Later on, after denying to all of his housemates that he is in love with her and trying to forget she ever existed, he has a wet dream where he has amazing sex with Usagi....or was it a dream? DUN DUN DUUUUN!! The suspense! The shock! The utter silliness!!

Now, putting aside the whole "which is better" debate that people like to put out regarding the anime versus the manga, who in their right mind would want to masturbate to the anime or write about masturbating to it? And of all people jacking off on the anime, why is Tenchi Masaki doing it? Tenchi Masaki, who has single-handedly abstained from having sex with oodles of desirable women, and especially from Ryoko and Ayeka, two of the most persistent love-starved females in all of anime? The same kid who, through a decade of countless OVAs, movies, manga and television shows spanning it's own self-contained multiverse, refrains from ever choosing a woman? (Unless you count the third Tenchi movie, of course, as being 'The End' but he's also brainwashed during the majority of that movie so his choices are questionable. That and methinks the producers just wanted to end the damn thing before it yet again spawned another spinoff. Not that it completely worked, mind you...)

Logic answers this one: it just doesn't happen. Hentai or no, it just doesn't. Nearly any other character, the author might have managed to make it work if he wrote it right. Which is a shame because the author, unlike most badfic authors, has a good grip on the English language which is lacking in some other authors. But turning Tenchi into a desperate sex-crazed nerd who can't get any unless it's with a cartoon character - especially Usagi who now has a "fuzzy" vagina (and let's not get into the Miracle Romance and why this couple would never be because then I'd just keep going and going and...) makes this a total turkey, a classic "do-not-do" in badficcdom.

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Sailor Moon and related characters are copyrighted ©1991-2006 Naoko Takeuchi.