NFL SCHEDULE:OCTOBER 12
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Tampa Bay at Washington :1:00pm
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Carolina at Indianapolis : 1:00pm
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NY Giants at New England :1:00pm
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Houston at Tennessee :1:00pm
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Kansas City at Green Bay :1:00pm
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Oakland at Cleveland : 1:00pm
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Philadelphia at Dallas :1:00pm
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Miami at Jacksonville :1:00pm
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Chicago at New Orleans :1:00pm
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Pittsburgh at Denver :4:15pm
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Buffalo at NY Jets :4:15pm
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Baltimore at Arizona :4:15pm
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San Francisco at Seattle : 8:30pm
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Monday, Oct 13
Atlanta at St. Louis :9:00pm
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All Times Eastern
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PRISON VS WORK:
IN PRISON...you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK ... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.
IN PRISON...you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...you only get a break for one meal and you pay for it.
IN PRISON...you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK...you get more work for good behavior.
IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.
IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON...you get your own toilet.
AT WORK...you have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.
IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family.
IN PRISON...all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON...you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK...you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
IN PRISON...you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK...they are called managers.
***** So why is it again that we work? *****
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• Least Competent Criminals
• Florida wildlife officials, suspecting that Israel A. Cervantes was illegally shooting at deer from his car in the Ocala National Forest in August, asked to inspect his home freezer for stored meat, and, professing innocence, Cervantes agreed. There was no deer meat, but apparently Cervantes forgot about the pound of marijuana in the freezer, and he was arrested. [Fort Myers News-Press-AP, 8- 12-03]
• William Penny was arrested in Greenwood, Ind., in August, putting a halt to his alleged identity-theft business. He was caught because, three times in a three-day period, he had aroused suspicion of several people in a neighborhood by approaching a certain ATM on foot, carrying a motorcycle helmet, donning the helmet as he neared the ATM's camera, making a withdrawal (with someone else's ID, allegedly), walking away, and then removing the helmet.[WISH-TV (Indianapolis), 8-5-03]
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Latest Alarming Headlines
(1) "Man With Ear Ache Gets Vasectomy" (an August Reuters dispatch from Rio de Janeiro about a patient who answered the wrong doctor's call at a clinic and endured the procedure because he thought the ear inflammation had deep roots). (2) "Groups Fight Over Fate of Feral Chihuahuas" (an August Reuters report on 170 wild Chihuahuas taken from a breeder in Acton, Calif., and ultimately given to one animal rescue outfit rather than another). (3) "Woman With No Baby Given Caesarean" (a September Melbourne (Australia) Herald Sun report on an overweight woman who went into cardiac arrest at a hospital after telling doctors she was pregnant, motivating them to try to deliver the baby in case they couldn't save her). (She survived; the baby never existed.)
[Reuters, 8-20-03] [Reuters, 8-9-03] [Herald Sun, 9-11-03]
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Pittsburgh is the only city where all major sports teams have the same colors: Black and gold
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