Day One Hundred Fifty Four: Hard Work Day
"Hard work is good for the soul, besides being the basis of Western society's economic dominance. Follow these instructions to make sure you earn your money today."

Alright, my work day.

CLOCK IN TIME: 8:00 a.m. EST
CLOCK OUT TIME: 5:30 p.m. EST
STATEMENT OF PURPOSE: Today I will work harder than ever and make it happen. Signature: Andy

LIST OF TASKS / PRIORITY / ACTION / DEADLINE / RESULTS:
* Count morning drawers / somewhat important / count money / 9 a.m. / done
* Make change order / very important / take money out of drawers for change / 10 a.m. / done
* Do bonus calculation / very important / call former area coordinator and beg for help / noon Saturday / in progress
* Fill tables and endcaps / eh / like it says / in progress
* Set up back room for shipment / somewhat / 11:15 a.m. Saturday / done
* Count drawers / important / duh / 5:30 p.m. / done
* Take deposit to the bank / very very important / get coworker, go to bank / by dark / done

I win.

Tomorrow, Day One Hundred Fifty Five... Confession Day!

Day One Hundred Fifty Three: Planet Day
Now Playing: Perhaps you've heard of me, I've got a sneaker for a hand
"Talk to a plant for at least one hour."

No. :)

Next, it's Day One Hundred Fifty Four... Hard Work Day!

Day One Hundred Fifty Two: Future Day
"Today write a message to the future. Mark the envelope "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL JUNE 1, 2104." Begin the letter with today's date and To Whom It May Concern. Suitable topics: world peace, evolutionary trends, suggestions on how to deal with living on other planets, predictions, anectodes from our time that might interest future generations (sport, 'hot news', society, dress trends, etc.). Hide the envelope so taht it won't be found for a hundred years."

June 4, 2004

To Whom It May Concern:

I come to you from the past. The distant, distant past. You most likely somehow found this letter floating in space. The planet Earth most likely was destroyed within fifty years after I wrote this. The country I lived in battled with various other countries over senseless things and... well, we just blew up the place. Sorry. Please enjoy the enclosed catalog of 1980s fashion.

Andy

---

Next, Day One Hundred Fifty Three... Plant Day!

Day One Hundred Fifty One: Favorite Dinosaur Day
Now Playing: Lunchlady Land!
"Everyone has a favorite dinosaur. Go to your local natural history museum and make sure yours is properly displayed."

We don't have a local natural history museum anywhere nearby. So naturally I did a Google Image Search. My favorite dinosaur isn't displayed properly in any museum, but likely can be found in Al's Toy Barn.

Rex!

Next up, it's Day One Hundred Fifty Two... Future Day!

Day One Hundred Fifty: Aquatic Origins Day
"Reconnect with your aquatic origins by spending all of today underwater."

I can't swim. Therefore... NO.

Next up, it's Day One Hundred Fifty One... Favorite Dinosaur Day!

Day One Hundred Forty Nine: Intractable Global Geopolitical Crisis Day
Now Playing: Operaman
"Some bright spark out there must be able to come up with an answer to the world's various problems. Could it be you? Put your mind to it for a couple of minutes. Redraw maps using colored crayons and explain your plan in no more than 80 words. Send to: Secretary-General, UNITED NATIONS, S-378, New York, NY 10017, USA."

Simple. Build a bubble around the U.S. and Canada. Nothing can break it. We don't worry about terrorists. They don't worry about us. Shots at leaving the country before the bubble is sealed are given, leaving me a shot at France. I present this diagram.

Next up, Day One Hundred Fifty... Aquatic Origins Day!

Day One Hundred Forty Eight: Windshield Day
Now Playing: The Adam Sandler rendition of 'Dancing in the Dark'
"Leave a note on somebody's windshield."

I would do this, but I'd probably get arrested in current Brunswick times with the G8 and such. I so should leave "I've left someone in your trunk. I'll pick him up next week if that's okay" on a coworker's windshield. After all, one of my coworkers drives my dad's old car... that'd be somewhat believable, except for the leaving somebody part.

Tomorrow, Day One Hundred Forty Nine... Intractable Global Geopolitical Crisis Day!

Day One Hundred Forty Seven: Mindchanging Day
Now Playing: 'Fred's Slacks'
"Only fools never change their mind. Help save someone from such folly by arguing them nout of their deeply held views on a controversial subject, like cannibalism."

I convinced Mara to not sell her soul to the devil in exchange for the perfect song.

Up next, Day One Hundred Forty Eight... Windshield Day!

Scrumtrulecent Day One Hundred Forty Six: Last Words Day
Now Playing: 'Inside The Actor's Studio'
"Famous last words: prepare your last words ahead of time."

I'm just going to kinda quote James Lipton. "There is no word to describe your support, so I'm forced to make one up, and I'm going to do so right now... scrumtrulecent."

Tomorrow, Day One Hundred Forty Seven... Mindchanging Day!

Day One Hundred Forty Five: Urban Myth Day
Now Playing: The Coconut Bangers Ball: It's A Rap!
"See how fast a rumor can spread. To be successful, an urban myth must include two or more of the following elements: Imaginative revenge by jilted lover / Pet's life ending in gruesome circumstances (preferably sexual) / Hidden deadly flaw in consumer product."

This is a story I've never told before. I once had a cat. I named him Sean Connery, because he had long, shaggy gray hair. Anyway, Sean Connery unfortunately had an unfortunate death. A giant yellow cowboy hat, normally a regular household item, fell on top of him. Sean Connery couldn't get it. His dying words, translated from a meow, were "Suck it Trebek."

Scrumtrulecent.

Next, Day One Hundred Forty Six... Last Words Day!