JUST SHOOT ME Season Five
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Fifth Season:

Finch in the '80s

501 - Hit the Road, Jack (10/12/00)
by Brian Reich

After their moment of passion, Finch decides it's a bad idea to get involved with Nina. Not one to take rejection easily, Nina becomes determined to find out why and win him over. Meanwhile, Elliott accidentally erases a message on Jack's answering machine where his wife has said she's leaving him and Elliott asks Maya to help him break the news to Jack.

502 - Donnie Returns (11/2/00)
by Tom Maxwell & Don Woodard & Marsh McCall

Elliott's younger brother Donnie (guest star David Cross, "Mr. Show"), who previously conned everyone into believing he was addled by an accident, returns with a new persona -- as a successful insurance salesman. But Maya believes he's up to his old scam-artist tricks when he claims to need money to pay off a loan shark and ends up in the hospital after supposedly being beaten up. Meanwhile, secrets are revealed among the Blush staff when Jack uses an old trick to entice people to unburden their guilty consciences.

503 - A Night at the Plaza (10/19/00)
by Gabe Sachs & Jeff Judah

Tired of enduring everyone's pity and lame attempts at cheering him up after his divorce, Jack takes refuge at The Plaza Hotel. But when Finch arrives with his new band (guest stars 98 - Nick Lachey, Drew Lachey, Justin Jeffre and Jeff Timmons) for an impromptu performance to raise his spirits, it's more than Jack can handle. Meanwhile, Jack's divorce takes a harder toll on Maya who now worries her relationship with Elliott may be affected.

504 - Mum's the Word (10/26/00)
by Maria A. Brown

When Nina begins dating a famous actor (guest star Robert Burgi), she discovers she has a rival for his attention from his elderly but manipulative mother (guest star Eve Brenner) who is determined to keep her son for herself. Meanwhile, Elliott is forced to reveal a dark secret when Maya demands that he go and vote.

505 - Choosing To Be Super (11/9/00)
by Moses Port & David Guarascio

Maya's best friend from high school, Alan (guest star Andy Richter, NBC's "Late Night with Conan O'Brien") has become a successful motivational speaker and is hired to speak to the Blush employees. But when he tells Maya he is a recovering alcoholic and reveals that he started a nasty rumor about her in high school, he asks her forgiveness and when she refuses, he starts drinking again, just before his presentation at Blush. Meanwhile, Jack seeks help from Finch in overcoming his irrational fear of the mailroom clerk, Kevin (guest star Brian Posehn).

506 - Brandi, You're A Fine Girl (11/16/00)
Teleplay by Susan Dickes & David Hemingson
Story by Brian Reich & Maria A. Brown

Finch reunites with his best friend from childhood, but is stunned to learn that he's had a sex change operation and is now a woman named Brandi (guest star Jenny McCarthy). Although Brandi wants to catch up on old times, Finch finds himself strangely attracted to the woman and can't decide whether or not to hit on her. Meanwhile, Nina's abuse of her new assistant Dee Dee (guest star Marissa Janet Winokur) ends when Elliott leads her to believe Dee Dee is the daughter of a famous designer. David Carradine ("Kung Fu") also makes a guest cameo appearance as himself.

507 - The First Thanksgiving (11/23/00)
by Howard Gewirtz

Maya's attempts at a pleasant Thanksgiving feast turn ugly when Jack has an affair with Elliott's mother (guest star Rhoda Gemignani) before the meal. Meanwhile, Finch believes the woman Jack slept with was his date, Colleen (guest star Christina Moore), and Nina is convinced Jack is giving Colleen her job, so she becomes determined to prove she's young and hip too.

508 - Slamming Jack (12/7/00)
by Susan Dickes

Finch decides he's had enough of Jack's crazy demands and lets loose with a verbal assault. After cooling off, Finch apologizes and Jack asks him to help out in the data-entry department in the basement, where Finch is shocked to find Jack's former assistant, Stan (guest star Martin Mull, "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch"), who describes how he was also banished to the basement after a similar incident and was never allowed to return. Meanwhile, Elliott becomes jealous of Maya's very attractive gynecologist (guest star Paul Satterfield), so when he discovers the doctor likes to frequent the local strip club, he is all-too eager to tell her. Wendie Malick also stars.

509 - Dogday Afternoon (12/14/00)
by David Hemingsen

When Jack's lucky numbers come up in the lottery, Finch can't bear to break the news that he spent the dollar on coffee instead of Jack's daily lottery ticket. Meanwhile, Maya brings home a lost dog and Nina and Finch convince Elliott that she only got the dog as a way of testing Elliott to see what kind of a father he would be.

510 - Finch And The Fighter (1/4/01)
by Brian Reich

Finch dates a female boxer (guest star Sami Reed) but gets into trouble with her dangerously jealous ex-girlfriend and sparring partner (guest star Elizabeth Rodriguez). Meanwhile, Jack, Nina and Elliott tire of Maya's intellectual arrogance and unite to underhandedly beat her at a trivia game.

511 - The Gift Piggy (1/11/01)
by Gabe Sachs & Jeff Judah

Nina and Maya are convinced the new girl in accounting, Robin (guest star Mo Collins), invited everyone in the office to her bridal shower simply to get more presents. But when Nina confronts Robin, it leads to a fight between Nina and Maya. Meanwhile, Elliott has to attend traffic school and is surprised to discover that Finch is the class instructor and Jack panics when Kevin's (guest star Brian Posehn) pet tarantula escapes.

512 - The Proposal, Part 1 (1/25/01)
by Maria A. Brown

Wedding bells ring through the corridors of Blush as Elliott prepares to pop the question to Maya. Diamonds aren't forever, as we're reminded when Jack's ex-wife Allie returns her engagement ring---a family heirloom also worn by his previous four brides. Musing on the bauble's fate, Jack suggests it might find a more permanent home on daughter Maya's hand whenever she gets engaged. Taking the hint, Elliott decides the ring, and an accompanying marriage proposal, would make the perfect birthday surprise for Maya. Unfortunately, Nina's antics---and Elliott's last-minute jitters---foreshadow disaster. Part 1 of two.

513 - The Proposal, Part 2 (2/1/01)
by Moses Port & David Guarascio

Elliott cannot overcome his nagging fear of marriage, which only antagonizes Maya when she senses his cold feet -- which might leave him out in the cold. Meanwhile, Nina helps an ecstatic Finch sell his adult-film script but they encounter hard-core problems when they choose to use Jack's office to shoot in.

514 - The Auction (2/8/01)
by Ross McCall & Aaron Peters

When Elliott finds out Maya has a date for the Blush Charity Auction, he wants to make her jealous and Nina offers to fix him up with her friend, a doctor. But when Nina's friend is unavailable, she hires a "professional escort" (guest star Lucy Lawless, "Xena") and Elliott doesn't find out until it's too late. Meanwhile, an angry Finch tries to undermine the auction when he finds out that Jack discarded the gift he gave him.

515 - Maya's And Tigers And Deans, Oh My (2/15/01)
Teleplay by Maria A. Brown & Gabe Sachs & Jeff Judah
Story by Ross McCall & Aaron Peters

Maya's interest in helping the new intern Dean (guest star Ashton Kutcher, "That '70s Show") quickly disintegrates when she learns that he intends to string along his high school girlfriend until he leaves for college. Flashing back to her own similar painful high school experience, Maya decides to exact revenge on Dean for what happened to her. Meanwhile, Jack and Elliott are convinced that Nina's new boyfriend, flamboyant magician "The Amazing Zigmund" (guest star Steve Valentine), is gay but they aren't sure how to tell her. Pamela Anderson ("V.I.P.") also makes a cameo appearance as herself and gets into a fight with Nina.

516 - Sid & Nina (2/22/01)
by Brian Reich

Nina is tricked into attending the bar mitzvah of 13-year-old Sid (guest star Samm Levine, "Freaks and Geeks") who has the hots for her. Even after Sid's plan is uncovered, Nina agrees to stay and deal with Sid's advances because Finch leads her to believe he's dying of a rare disease. Meanwhile, Jack and Elliott aggravate Maya when they flip-flop their desire to date Helen (guest star Kirsten Nelson) based on whether or not they think the other one wants her.

517 - Where's Poppa? (3/15/01)
by Susan Dickes & David Hemingson

When Maya wants to date the son of Jack's deceased friend, Jack remembers an old fling he had with his friend's wife (guest star Valerie Perrine, "What Women Want") and worries that Maya's new beau may be her illegitimate brother. Meanwhile, Finch devises a plan to keep himself from having to move out of Elliott's apartment.

518 - Erlene And Boo (3/29/01)
by Brian Reich & David Hemingson

Brooke Shields ("Suddenly Susan") guest-stars as Nina's baby sister Erlene, who visits from Kansas but sparks Nina's jealous side when she endears herself to the Blush staff and decides to stay in New York. Fearing her baby sister will draw attention away from her, Nina devises a plan to get Erlene to return home. Meanwhile, Jack is determined to find out who booed him during a speech to the Blush staff.

519 - Fanny Finch (4/19/01)
Teleplay by Susan Dickes & David Hemingson
Story by Moses Port & David Guarascio

When Jack suddenly breaks up with his new girlfriend, Finch tries to convince his visiting mother, Fanny (guest star Joyce Bulifant), to go out with Jack. But Finch's fantasy of joining the Gallo family is quickly erased when he discovers his mother set her sights on Jack long ago and is responsible for his recent breakup. Meanwhile, Elliott meets one of his idols, former fashion photographer Horst Geitner (guest star Kenneth Mars), and when he discovers the photographer is down and out, he tries to give the man some new inspiration.

520 - Sugar Momma (4/26/01)
by Moses Port & David Guarascio

When Blush magazine begins serializing the work of romance novelist Allison Spencer (guest star Kathie Lee Gifford), Finch finds himself being wooed by the author with offers of gifts in exchange for sexual favors. Meanwhile, Nina becomes a national pariah when she criticizes a handicapped actor (guest star Grant Albrecht) while serving as TV host of an awards pre-show with Melissa Rivers (as herself).

521 - Maya Stops Thinking (5/3/01)
by Susan Dickes & Moses Port & David Guarascio

Maya has a fling with Chris (guest star Dean Cain, "Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman"), who she believes is a doctor moving to Europe, but when he turns out to be the new creative consultant at Blush, she wants Jack to fire him. Although Chris manages to convince Maya he's not such a bad guy, she later learns he has an even darker secret. Meanwhile, Elliott becomes determined to get Finch to do a good deed for someone.

522 - At Long Last Allie (5/10/01)
by Marsh McCall & Don Woodard & Tom Maxwell

Jack is startled when his ex-wife, Allie (guest star Kristin Bauer), wants him to hire her as a Blush columnist as part of their divorce settlement. But when she reveals to Finch that her ulterior motive is to win Jack back, he tries to play matchmaker. Meanwhile, Nina turns to Elliott's new therapist girlfriend Stella (guest star Samantha Smith) for advice, but ends up revealing Elliott's fear of commitment during their conversation.
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