JUST SHOOT ME Season Three

Third Season:

301 - The Withholder (11/17/98)
by Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin

Elliott proves what a friend he is to Finch when he concocts a scheme to get revenge on Finch's selfish girlfriend (Megan Gallivan, reprising her character Courtney from "The Walk") --- but then starts to date her.
"I like to think of my body as a temple." "Which explains why there's a line to get in on Friday nights." - Nina and Finch
"Trust me, revenge is a dish best served with fresh maple syrup." - Elliott

302 - Steamed (9/29/98)
by Marsh McCall

Maya is delighted to discover that Jack wants to take over the upstairs office in order to build a day-care center. Or so she thinks.
"Denial is not just a river in England." - Nina

303 - What the Teddy Bear Saw (9/22/98)
by Andrew Gordon & Eileen Conn

Finch resents the demands that Jack makes on him outside the office. The latest humiliation: Finch must monitor the seemingly ultra-efficient---and attractive---nanny (Ana Gasteyer) who's taking care of Jack's daughter while he's away. "I'll do anything if I think it'll please someone," she says to the womanizing Finch. "Anything." Meanwhile, Elliott forgets to pick up Maya at the dentist's office, and Nina "discovers" herself and lets everyone know it.
"Babysitting? Sorry, I gave that up when I was 25." - Finch

304 - Mask (10/27/98)
by Tom Maxwell & Don Woodard

Halloween is no treat for Maya when Finch gets her to wear an embarrassing costume to the office. Meanwhile, Jack confesses to a dirty trick he played on a young impressionable Maya; and Elliott and Finch hatch a plan to find out if Nina's friend Binnie (Jennifer Savidge) really exists.
Note: We see Binnie for the first time on this episode, albeit in a full body cast.

305 - Funny Girl (11/3/98)
by Danny Zuker

Maya goes too far after Finch and Elliott tell her that women can't pull practical jokes. Meanwhile, Jack considers getting plastic surgery.

306 - Two Girls for Every Boy (11/10/98)
by Moses Port & David Guarascio

Finch works desperately to make a male fantasy come true in a witty, well-written episode. When Finch discovers that Jolie (Dara Tomanovich), a comely female model, has a crush on Maya, he becomes obsessed with getting the two women together intimately---so he can watch. Because of his penchant for late-night cable movies, Finch believes that "all women are two drinks away from a girl-on-girl adventure" and that the heterosexual Maya is no exception. So he carefully hatches an elaborate plan to invite Jolie and Maya to dinner and drinks with him.
Pamela Fryman was nominated for a Director's Guild Award for this episode.

307 - Puppetmaster (11/17/98)
by Pam Brady

Maya's new boyfriend (French Stewart) is a puppeteer on a children's TV show whose puppets recite dialogue that sounds very familiar. Meanwhile, Nina invests in a hot new nightclub---with no name and no address.
"Shouldn't you be at the North Pole making toys?" - Nina
"If I weren't on so much Prozac, I could just cry!" - Nina

308 - How Nina Got Her Groove Back (12/8/98)
by Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin

When Nina's old rival (Christine Ebersole) quits the fashion business, Nina begins to miss the competition. Finch arranges to have a park named for Jack. Maya starts dating a man who can't seem to keep his shirt on. Elliott breaks in faulty shoes designed by his girlfriend.

309 - The List (11/24/98)
by Marsh McCall

Mark Hamill guest stars in a witty episode about the perils of persistence. When Star Wars fanatic Finch spots his movie idol (Hamill) talking to a friend in a restaurant, he excitedly bombards Hamill with questions about his most famous film role, Luke Skywalker. Hamill politely asks Finch to leave, but his refusal to do so pays off in a way Finch never imagined. Meanwhile, back at the office, Jack mopes about his less-than-stellar ranking on a list of New York's most powerful people and decides to campaign for a higher position --- a decision he soon comes to regret.
"Guess what I have?" "Why, are they baffled down at the clinic?" - Nina and Finch
"Okay, people, that's it, people. Show's over, nothing to see here." - Finch

310 - How the Finch Stole Christmas (12/15/98)
by Stephen Engel

When Finch sneaks a peak at his present and is disappointed by what he finds, he steals Christmas from the Blush staff. Elliott protests commercialism by buying a Charlie Brown-esque Christmas tree. Kelsey Grammer narrates la Dr. Seuss.

311 - Nina Sees Red, Part 1 (2/9/99)
by Jack Burditt

Finch's dad drops in, newly separated and hot to put a ring on Nina's finger, while Elliott makes the wrong impression on the girl of his dreams. Brian Dennehy and Tyra Banks guest star.

312 - Nina Sees Red, Part 2 (2/16/99)
by Jack Burditt

Finch's dad regrets proposing to Nina, but he's too much the gentleman to renege; and Jack gets Elliott another shot at impressing Tyra Banks. Brian Dennehy guest stars.

313 - Slow Donnie (1/5/99)
by Steve Levitan

Elliott invites Maya to dinner so she can meet his family, particularly his childlike brother Donnie (David Cross). But a moment alone with Donnie convinces Maya that there is more to him than meets the eye.
"What's that filthy thing doing in here?" - Jack "Oh, come on, she works here." - Finch
"Ooh! Meow meow! Hmm... a calico! Why'd they have to queer it up with a pink ribbon?" - Finch
"And that concludes this week's episode of This Old Man." - Finch
"It turns out he was playing peek-a-boo with an armchair!" - Elliott
"Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie!" - Donnie
"...Oh my God, you're right! I'll telegraph President Coolidge." - Finch
"I love you, mom...I love you, table!" - Donnie
Donnie's secret
"Well, 99, one of them drank your 'orange juice' and flew into a fan." - Finch
"I don't eat paste anymore...wait!" - Donnie

314 - Spy in the House of Me (1/12/99)
by Andrew Gordon & Eileen Conn

When Maya's self-centered ex-boyfriend blows into town, she becomes utterly smitten with him, while a fuming Jack stops at nothing to break the two of them up. Meanwhile, Finch breaks in a new crop of interns and Nina appears on television.

315 - Lies and Dolls (2/2/99)
by Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin

Finch and Elliott search for a "Six Million Dollar Man" doll Elliott stole in his childhood, since its now worth a fortune. Maya and Nina fight over the attention of a senator. Jack moves his desk into the middle of the office to be closer with his employees.

Maya and Nina in Hostess to Murder

316 - Hostess to Murder (2/23/99)
by Pam Brady

Maya throws a murder mystery party with everyone dressed in 1800s garb, but an Armani party takes place on the same night. During the party, Maya's neighbor has a heart attack next door and dies, and everyone but Maya thinks it's part of the game.

317 - Maya's Nude Photos (4/6/99)
by Moses Port & David Guarascio

Maya's photography teacher insults Elliott for being too commercial. Nina's new assistant causes Finch to be jealous when he entertains Jack as Finch used to.

318 - Toy Story (3/2/99)
by Danny Zuker

On Elliott's birthday, Finch switches Maya and Persky's (Tom Kenny) presents, to disastrous results. Meanwhile, when Jack and Robert Goulet's (as himself) racehorse isn't ready for the big race, they enlist Nina to calm it down.
One of the horses' names: Hi-keeba.

319 - Miss Pretty (3/23/99)
Written by Michael Gara (Story by David Spancer)

An embarrassed Finch is loath to reveal that he's the guy behind Blush's 'Miss Pretty' advice column and taps a sleazy acquaintance (Willie Garson) to pose as the sensitive writer, but the ruse backfires when Maya falls for the imposter. Meanwhile, Nina is roped into a relationship with a chatterbox (Twink Caplan) she's snubbed for years. And Jack adds salt to a stinging mistake after Elliott lambasts an Asian-American Senior Vice President for late delivery of Chinese food.

320 - And the Femmy Goes To... (5/4/99)
by Marc Abrams & Michael Benson

The Blush staff bristles with personal agendas at the Femmy Awards ceremony, while Finch pursues his usual goal and hits on a new model.

321 - Softball (5/4/99)
by Jack Burditt

Finch tries to keep Maya from losing her cool during the annual softball game against Cosmopolitan, and Jack hedges his bets by hiring a pro ringer (guest star Steve Garvey).

322 - Shaking Private Trainer (5/11/99)
by Pam Brady

Jack's plans to get back into shape backfire when he hires a personal trainer (Neil McDonough), a tough ex-Navy SEAL, to keep him on track. Finch's wedding picture

323 - The Odd Couple, Part 1 (5/25/99)
by Tom Maxwell & Don Woodard

Finch begins dating a model out of his league (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos). Meanwhile, Jack chooses the wrong painting with which to be photographed.

Note: Steve Levitan directed both parts of this episode.

324 - The Odd Couple, Part 2 (5/25/99)
by Marsh McCall

Finch, now engaged to Adrienne (Rebecca Romijn-Stamos), has one obstacle on the way to the aisle - Adrienne's ex-boyfriend.

325 - Nina's Choice (5/18/99)
by Moses Port & David Guarascio

Nina must decide between her returning ex-boyfriend and the police officer on his trail.

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