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Second Season:

201 - The Experiment (9/23/97)
by Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin

An article idea leads Maya to try to prove beautiful people get ahead in the job market, but then she falls for a male model. Meanwhile, Finch's "fear" of Jack-in-the-Boxes is revealed.
"Wait, I just remembered something! You're boring, and my legs work." - Finch
"Oh my God, not the cheerleader tryout story again..." - Finch

202 - The Assistant (9/30/97)
by Andrew Gordon & Eileen Conn

Maya's bungling new assistant (Cheri Oteri) causes chaos. Elliott and Finch put fake "Words of the Day" on Nina's calendar and she humiliates herself on National Public Radio.
Note: Well-known stand up comics Larry Miller and Cathy Ladman also guest star.
"Can we just get on with it!?!" - Finch

203 - Sweet Charity (12/9/97)
by Marsh McCall

Maya hopes that Jack will lend her a hand in a charity she is involved in but loses faith when she sees what kind of help he is willing to give. Meanwhile, Elliott keeps getting snubbed by the office gopher.
Note: Model Amber Smith makes a cameo.
"You people are all whores!" - Maya

204 - Old Boyfriends (10/28/97)
by Steve Levitan

When Maya begins dating a much older man (Chad Everett), she discovers that Jack has a real problem with it. Meanwhile, Nina's flirtation with a window washer (Les Brandt) leaves her walking on air, until she causes him to fall off the side of the building.

205 - La Cage (11/4/97)
by Jack Burditt

Finch dates Elliott's model ex-girlfriend (Stephanie Romanov) despite Elliot's advice not to. Meanwhile, Nina gets caught using company expense accounts for her own personal use.
"Is it cool in here or is it just me?" - Finch
"Ah no, my worst nightmare involves being covered in frogs." - Finch
"If you're waiting for a hug, you might want to pack a lunch." - Finch

206 - King Lear Jet (11/11/97)
by Danny Zuker

Jack must part with his tickets to a "King Lear" performance in London, and when he gives them to Elliott and Nina, Maya balks. Meanwhile, Finch and Elliott vie for the affections of Carmen Electra, who plays herself.
"And hopefully that concludes Mutual of Omaha's Nipple Safari." - Maya
"Back off, you pasty freak!" - Finch

207 - My Dinner with Woody (11/18/97)
by Steve Levitan

A Woody Allen impersonator (Ed Crasnick) is drawn to Maya after she pens a favorable article about the filmmaker. Meanwhile, Jack loses his sight for a day.
Note: Woody Allen has a voice-over cameo (his first sitcom "appearance").

208 - Twice Burned (11/25/97)
by Pam Brady

Jack tries to get Hannah, his daughter, into a prestigious school, and begs Maya to vouch for his great fathering skills, despite the fact that she burned down the school when she attended. Elliott and Nina bond over a blues singer's music.
Note: Dedicated to the memory of cinematographer Robert Caramico, A.S.C.
"I am the can-do king." - Jack
"Oh, I hope you're wearing a cup." - Finch

209 - Jesus, It's Christmas (12/16/97)
by Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin

'Tis the season for Finch to get his jollies when he schemes to get Elliott to take him on a Christmas Caribbean photo shoot with a dozen models. Meanwhile, Maya arranges for a generous cash gift for the office custodian, Jesus Santos (Luis Antonio Ramos), who spends it all on her. This leads up to one of the best endings of a JSM episode ever.
"All I know is I'm going to be eight chicks-a-chasing." - Finch
"No way. The last time I took you on a photo shoot with me, you walked in on Kate Moss taking a shower." - Elliot "It was an innocent mistake. I was trying to walk in on Elle McPherson." - Finch
"So close, yet such a nerd." - Finch

210 - Elliott the Geek (1/6/98)
by Marsh McCall

When Elliott's favorite teacher dies, the staff discovers a terrible secret about the suave photographer: he was a high school nerd. Meanwhile, Jack teaches Finch how to be assertive, but Finch takes his advice too far.
"You couldn't score in a monkey whorehouse with a bag of bananas." - Finch
Note: This line was first spoken by Spade in a Hollywood Minute on SNL.
"If this is about stuffing a sock down my pants, I'm way ahead of you." - Finch

211 - In the Company of Maya (1/20/98)
by Pam Brady

Maya asks an attractive writer (David Lee Smith) out on a date -- and he files a sexual harassment suit. Meanwhile, Elliott finds out that his new girlfriend (Heidi Schanz) is a spokeswoman for a hemmorhoid cream.
"If this isn't the pot feeling up the kettle..." - Elliott
"I know this guy in the CIA. He turned me on to this place called 'Radio Shack'." - Jack

212 - Pass the Salt (1/29/98)
by Jack Burditt

David Spade's droll wit shines in this clever episode about a surprise visit by Finch's estranged father. When Red Finch (Brian Dennehy, who starred with Spade in Tommy Boy) suddenly shows up with tickets to "Show Boat" and a desire to make amends with his son, the younger Finch is delighted and confused. He fears that his father is either dying, or having an affair. But the real reason is even more shocking to the womanizing Finch: Red has come to accept his son as being gay. "I'm not gay," retorts Finch. "Is this because I look like Ellen?" Also, Maya invites Jack over for dinner, but her apartment is robbed.

213 - Sewer! (1/13/98)
by Andrew Gordon & Eileen Conn

Nina gets Jack an orangutan (Sammy the Orangutan) for his birthday. Maya spends the night in a sewer, while a reporter friend of hers (Lisa Edelstein) is visiting and starts a relationship with Elliott.
"Hold your calls, America, we have a winner." - Finch
"Done, sold, Bob's your uncle!" - Jack
"Shoot it, stuff it, hang it on the wall!" - Jack
"Crank it, spank it, smack it on the bing-bong!" - Finch

214 - The Walk (2/3/98)
by Andrew Gordon & Eileen Conn

The staff tries to uncover the reason for easygoing Jack's sudden outburst. Maya thinks it's because he's having an affair in Brooklyn. Meanwhile, Finch follows Elliott's advice and plays hard to get with Courtney from accounting (Megan Gallivan).
"Maybe... twice as sweet as no, half as good as yes." - Finch
"Believe me, I know the recipe for love: one pound of grief, two cups of crap, and sprinkle on the moxie." - Finch

215 - College or Collagen (2/26/98)
by Marsh McCall

Maya and Nina battle for the soul of a college student from Maya's alma mater. Meanwhile, a bridge game becomes an obsession for Jack and Finch.
Note: The college student is named Karey Burke after the senior Vice President of prime time series at NBC, a champion of the show.
"I worked a summer at a nursing home. Why do you think my apartment is full of afghans?" - Finch
"I have pointy elbows and I am not afraid to use them." - Nina

216 - Nina in the Cantina (2/24/98)
by Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin

Nina's former lover, rock star Nick Hewitt (Michael DesBarres) doesn't remember her.

217 - Amblush (4/16/98)
by Pam Brady

Jack sends Maya in his place to a college lecture, where she is grilled by angry feminists. Meanwhile, Nina realizes too late that silence is golden during a photo shoot with Elliott, who tricks her into thinking that the gold paint she wore for the shoot can't be removed.
"That was tough love." - Finch

218. Nina's Bikini (3/3/98)
by Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin

Nina gives her famous bikini to the Model Cafe, who puts it in a terrible location by the bathrooms. Finch and Maya steal it back for her. Jack poses for boudoir photos.

219 - The Kiss (3/19/98)
by Tom Maxwell & Don Woodard

It seems Elliott and Maya may have the hots for each other as sparks fly between them during an apartment-hunting excursion. Maya accompanies impulsive buyer Elliott to look at what sounds like a perfect place. Elliott immediately falls in love with it, but the elderly landlady prefers to rent to a "nice married couple." In desperation, Elliott introduces Maya as his new wife. The ruse works, until Elliott panics and suddenly plants a big, wet kiss on Maya. It leads to an even bigger, wetter kiss, leaving Maya and Elliott to wonder how they can face each other at the office. Meanwhile, Jack puts Finch under surveillance.

220 - Jack's Old Partner (4/9/98)
by Marsh McCall

While trying to write his memoirs, a guilt-ridden Jack decides to hire his old partner (Tom Poston), whom he fired just before the magazine took off. Meanwhile, Nina prepares herself for a tax audit.

221 - Bravefinch (3/26/98)
by Andrew Gordon & Eileen Conn

After Finch complains about doing petty errands, Jack hires a personal assistant (Jim Wise), whose crazy personality only emerges when he's around Finch. Meanwhile, Maya mistakenly wears Nina'a nicotine patch.
"If I get killed, tell Courtney in accounting I love her, and erase all the porn on my computer." - Finch
"It's go time!" - Finch

222 - The Eve of Destruction (5/5/98)
by Jack Burditt & Pam Brady

A visit from Maya's mother---one of Jack's dreaded exes---threatens to ignite a civil war at the Blush offices. Jack's three former wives, known affectionately as "the Leech," "the Vulture" and "the Jackal," seem to have the upper hand in making his life miserable. So when "the Jackal," a.k.a. Eve (Jessica Walter), shows up claiming to visit her daughter, Jack immediately suspects that she's after something from him. Maya just wants to keep the peace, but she has a hard time trying not to take sides as the bickering heats up. To make matters worse, the staff contends with a spit-and-polish efficiency expert (Dan Butler).
"Father Time sure gave her a good spanking." - Nina

223 - The Emperor (4/23/98)
by Don Woodard & Tom Maxwell and Sivert Glarum & Michael Jamin

When she unintentionally insults a flamboyant clothing designer (Dana Carvey) and must make an apology, Maya discovers that being humble just doesn't suit her. Meanwhile, Jack "coaches" Elliott on how to woo a woman (Marcy Kaplan).

224 - War and Sleaze (5/12/98)
by Marsh McCall

Jack and Finch go paintballing with disastrous results. Maya's date, a married congressman, throws his back out in her apartment and threatens to drag her into a publicity nightmare if she calls for help.

225 - Rescue Me (4/30/98)
by Steve Levitan

While donating blood at the office, the staffers fondly reminisce, via flashback, about how Jack "rescued" them from careers that were not exactly fulfilling.
Note: Levitan also directed this episode.

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