"The battlefield was . . .
in transition
from the vastness
of space and time
throughout all generations
>of history known
to man and God
sometimes high on mountains
other times within city walls
never the same,
but yet always the some
with sometimes being seen
and others with
>for this battlefield
was not and is not
bounded by the depths
of oceans or seas
or the heights
of mountains or skies
this field is not bounded
by planets, but universe's
and the fight goes on
and on and on
from place to place
to time to time
to the past
and through the present
to the future
and we can only endure
endure, endure, endure . . .

"If it will be permitted . . .
I'll tell of a battle or two
now some of these are tragic
for even when we won
we suffered greatly too.
The saddest moment
was when I held
the Captain's head
in my lap.
as dying he lay.
Why was he even here
he was beyond
our level of combat
he'd been here
when I was young?
As I cradled his head
I promised him
I'd find the reason
he was here
and not at home.
He smiled at me
and said he knew
that I was young
and would not understand
to let it be, to let it be.
And then he died
and I cried for him
he'd been my friend
from my youth
and I cried for him.
Father's hand
touched me then
and said "let him go";
and I said to Father
"I loved him so."
And Father said,
"So do I.";

"Shortly after . . .
(and I'm not sure
of how many battles)
this time with lances
and axes, and it was horrible.
For when the day was done
and the battle at a rest
there were horses and mules
camels and riders
and their pieces all about.
Both sides enemies
worked side by side
to care for the wounded
and stake the dead
in common pile to burn.
Why is this war endless
why do we fight and fight
why is the adversary
so relentless for another's soul
when peace was our desire?
But I carry the sword
of truth and right
and it will not rest
until all know but this
that Jesus is the Christ
And when a battle
such as this is fought
I know the adversary
will make all wonder
of what kind of God He is.
With such confusion
will he lead many astray
but when I fight
if to save but one soul
from him, then it's worth the fight. . ."

"Lately more and more . . .
memories flood my mind
of sadness for blood
split on fields
where now homes abound
and of the sadness
of loved ones
found alone
when once they
were loved
and held
now are raped
and killed.
Why do you wonder
at such memories
in days such as ours
my mortality
has been but short
in the eyes of man
but forever in Father's
so why now
do the memories
flood like tears
upon my cheeks
for each hand
that I've held
for each prayer
that I've said
why now, why now?
And then the moment ends
and the battle continues
for both good and evil
are at once the same
in the eyes of men
to judge another
but not themselves
to be judged
to rape and pillage
to kill and maim
are they not the same
as to ignore
and pretend not to see
the widow, the child, or the Son. . .? 

"I always wondered . . .
why I was always found
in the trenches of life
always in the front ranks
never in supply
or far from battle?
Then one day
I met a man
I was suppose
to fight
and knew
that I would die.
But he did not
lift a hand
to hurt or harm me
but simply asked,
"Why do you
continue to fight?";
And answered I,
"Because I know
I'm right.";
And he laid
his hand on my shoulder
and said, "I know you are too.";
Then many years
passed from then
till again I met this man
and he was standing
just a little ways
from where I was.
He had his hand
on anothers shoulder
who's head was bowed
with tears on his cheeks,
and I heard him say,
"I know you are too."

"It was the same voice
the same tone
the same deep concern
and in a moment
I knew who he was
and now he was my Bishop.
Later with meetings over
he called me to his office
and said, "Hello, you remember!"
And I said, "Yes,
how long have you known?"
And he embraced once again.
He then explained
why I was a soldier
he told of battles
where he'd seen me fight
and told me
I'd always been in the front.
With tears flowing
freely now this Bishop
said, "I couldn't say,
until I knew you knew.
But I knew forever
you would search till you did."
How is Father
you hold my hand
and let me go
you taught me well
yet let me stray
but let me come home again?
Oh to be in your
warm embrace
as when I was young
when the child
in me played and sang
once more, to be home again. . .

"It was not a normal day . . .
we were tented up
and resting for a change
when the word went out
one of the Generals
is coming, shape up
of course we never
saw many Generals
maybe from a far
but this time
he rode right
past my tent,
oh he was
wonderful to see
the look, his eyes
his love of us
his soldiers
to fight another day,
and then he was gone.
It was not a normal day
I felt a hand
upon my shoulder
and a still small voice
saying, "Look, the General."
And as I looked quickly
all around where I was
I saw him there
now in mortality
in his mother's arms
and looking at me
with the same eyes
from long ago,
but now he was a special child
for he had Downs Syndrome
and with special needs
not to have to concern
himself with this mortal probation
but to give love and warmth
to those around him
and to those of us
who fought with him . . ."
(I wrote about this to his mother that day,
for it was not a normal day.)

"How long must we . . .
continue to endure
to wear this armor
which is rusting now
and carry this sword
which is slowed with age
and much heavier
than I remember before?
How long must we
fight the fight
to be this Knight
only having faith
that this night will end
and all will be well
but it mattereth not
for we will endure.
How long will
I be here
in service of
my God and King
as a steward
in the vineyard
it's colder now
as night again descends?
How long Lord
can I make the journey
of one more day
placing on my armor
a piece at a time
to fight the fight
to say the prayers
to hold the rod?
How long Father
will you allow
me to tarry
to serve thee here
will I have time
to see a grandchild,
or another Spring appear,
or to hold my lovers hand. . .?

"Well night again has come . .
the battles not yet done
I've shed the armor
of the day
to rest, I'm not sure
but to lay this body down
holding, holding
to the rod,
for all my life
from forever
to forever
that is all
I know to do
and whence
I get it right
I'm sure then
and only then
another assignment
I'll have to do,
so for now I'll rest
please allow me to,
I love you all
too much, too much
to ever let go
before my time
and the rod
in now part
of my hand
and my being one.
Don't think me proud
but think of my tears
for all I could've done
and would like
still to do
and that is why
I pray for another day
another day to serve
as the Knight
the Knight of Lost Causes
and Restless Dreams . . ."

"Tis time to go to bed . . .
it's at this time
I wonder who it is
my sword served
this day, unknown
to me or them
I hope it was someone
who will someday
come to know
of Father and the Son,
so restless I'll go
to slumber
to hopefully awaken
to another day
to find the one
who today is looking
for the Knight
the Knight known only
as the Knight of Lost Causes
and Restless Dreams. . ."

"Softly, I feel a hand . . .
on my shoulder,
lifting me beyond
any mortal ability
of mine known
to whisper
in my ear
with a still small voice
"goodnight my son
goodnight my son
goodnight . . ."