Thanx!

You Might Be A Gamer If. . .

. . .loosing your dice bag would be a serious finicial blow.
or losing your gaming crate (of books and supplies) would put Trump, DuPont, or even Bill Gates in the Poor House.
or losing you minitures is considered the ultimate blasphemey...(all those hours and eye-doctor bills gone to waste !)

. . .you could paper your bathroom in character sheets.

. . .you could paper your bathroom in different versions of just ONE character.
You could wallpaper you house with different versions of one character, from each of those you've played with, in just one game.

. . .you are unable to walk past the latest TSR© Supplement without leafing through it, even though you know it's going to be bad.
TSR, White Wolf, Gurps, ETC....,etc...etc...

. . .you have more entertaining "No-shit,-there-I-was-in-a-game" stories than you do anecdotes about your family.

. . .you talk about your characters as if they were Real People.
Or get the creeps, and start to wonder, if you see your character's name in the phone book....(Ilissa Edolian? wait a minute.....)
or start to wonder about that company you thought had come from your brain only, then see a Mac Truck, towing a trailer with that same company's logo, et-al, drive by you.
Then find out that the company is doing the same...or simliar things you had your's do...
Then think....nah...it's just in game...couldn't be... . . . . . could it?

. . .you alternate between referring to your characters in first and third person.
to your friends....
that have nothing to do with the game....
and yet....

. . .and none of your friends gets confused.
or if they do, they haven't heard you ranting (lately) about how badly your character has gotten screwed over by the local Magus.....

. . .you've ever spent a significant fraction of your life modifying game rules that you didn't like...and,as soon as the system worked to your satisfaction,
discarded it.
or worked like the devil to compose a game your players would enjoy, only to have to drop it 'cause they didn't like it's content, style.etc.....

. . .when some one says "The Blue Books," you don't automatically picture the kind they give you during a college Final Exam.

. . .you worship idols of Gary Gygax in your basement.

. . .you burn Gary Gygax effigy in your backyard.

. . .you will not buy comic books with the Dragon Strike (tm) logo on the back.
but will buy comics and or books that have the White Wolf, or TSR label on them.....wether or not they have anything to do with your game at all.

. . .you've ever seen the old AD&D tv series.
and ever like it (or not, but watched it on a constant basis)
and/or understood what they ment in game-text.

. . .you're still reading this list.

. . .you hang out with people you actively dislike because they give good roleplay.
or because they're a part of the only group that has good roleplaying
or because they're the only group nearby
or that they are the only group you know of at all that plays your favorite game....on a night that you can game.

. . .you've ever gotten into a screaming match over something that happened in a game... (you are so dead! I am not dead!)
You've ever plotted against someone's character because of something the player did in Real Life.
Or plotted against some player because of what the character did in-game.

. . .you've ever neglected to buy the new Edition of you favourite game because you already have three.
Or just felt like waiting until you could borrow a freind's copy to photocopy the revelent portions of the text.

. . .you have more than one photocopied bootleg of a gaming text.
or have photocopied bootlegs of Alpha Playtest Editions in a closet somewhere....growing yellow from the lack of use

. . .you keep old characters around just in case someone might run that system again. (never mind that its TS:SI)
or build a web page based on a character you might never play again
or host a chat room for same said character, so that you might have a chance in a hot place to actually play again.

. . .you knew what I ment when I said TS:SI

. . .you have a PhD in manipulating point systems to the best effect, even though you failed High School geometry.
or you have all the combat charts, and range chats...etc memorized, when you couldn't even remember what day today is without having to ask, or look at a calender.

. . .you can consume your body weight in junk food in one gaming sesion.
and not get sick

. . .you consider Altoids, Salt-and-Vinegar chips, and Blue Teeni Hugs a balanced diet. (or even an acceptable combination)
you consider Pepsi, cold pizza and leftover pretezels from three weeks ago, just as good as Altoids

. . .you have been known to drive to far away places where you paid enormous amounts of money for the privelege of sleeping on floors, eating crap, buying little pewter statues of Gandalf, and meeting dozens of psychopathic members of the alternate (or similar) sex who will follow you around for months, merely for the pleasure of playing with gamers you don't know.

. . .and then signed up en masse with all of your friends to play in games with GameMasters who you've known since high school.
and done this on a yearly/monthly/weekly basis.

. . .you own your own weight in gaming books.
all from the same game title (RavenLoft, DragonLance,Werewolf T.A., Mage T.A., Vampire T.M. . . .)

. . .the owners of local hobby stores take your checks without ID because they know where you live.
like, in their store waiting for the next, newest, better, more shinny supplement to arrive via UPS

. . .you can do AD&D Money Conversions in your head.
from all the versions of the game system

. . .you could wallpaper your bedroom in Dragon Mirths.
or AD&D maps
or home-made hex maps
or posters from the various games you play (that you ask your local gaming stores to keep at least one saved for you, until you can get there, and then cry when they don't)

. . .you consider the demise of "What's New with Phil and Dixie" a blow to great literature.

. . .you consider the resurrection of "What's New with Phil and Dixie" the redeeming feature of Magic: The Gathering.
You consider the White Wolf's First Edition Anthologies to be comparable to Emily Dickenson.

. . .you consider the 20th Century a state of mind.

. . .you have written a random NPC Generator, written in BASIC, designed to run on the Trash-80 or the Commodore 64.
and have it produce the best, all time, kick butt, NPC's that anygame has yet to develop

. . .you've ever designed your own character sheets.
you've ever designed your own game...
you've ever desgined all the rules, et-al, for a new character type because what you read in a fantasy/Sci-Fi/Etc novel sounded like something you wanted to play

. . .you can be more than three NPC's at one time without generating more than reasonable confusion in your players.
you have ever aspired to do such a thing as be four or more NPC's, and not confused your players
or if you hate trying to be more than two at one time...and refuse to do any more than you need

. . .you have ever played a Dwarven character who did not have "axe" or "beard" in his or her name.

. . .you know how to sex dwarves. (chromosome typing, required a blood sample. I'M not getting it...)

. . .you have ever tried to explain gaming to a school counsler, parent, or other PW/OC (Person With/Out Clue)>
and was grounded/suspended because they thought -rhya, obtenibration, or some such gaming term, used when trying to explain, was a "bad word." Or...

. . .you've suceeded.

. . .you've played Talisman more than once.
Or Paranoia more than once....

. . .you've finished a game of Talisman.
ditto on Parinoia, but still alive and allowed in the Highest Security area....you think

. . .more than once.
ditto, as before.

. . .you're STILL reading this list.

. . .you can quote extensively from the Wandering Damage Tables.
or any Tables, and almost simultaniously.

. . .you've mistaken a D12 or a double D10 while playing AD&D and had a THACO low enough to hit the 8HD monster, anyway...

. . .you understood that.

. . .you carry AD&D insurance.

. . .your AC is so low that even you can't hit yourself.
so that when the undead thing takes over your mind, your friends can't even hit you to save their lives.

. . .and 87 point Balrog is no big thrill anymore.
and Elder Vampires are as easy to blow off with no real, tangiable, threat of repurcussion, as a puppy.

. . .you bring your dicebg even to diceless roleplaying events.
and find that one of the GM's needs them to a break a Tie in the Rock-Paper-Scissors Challenge.

. . .you've ever discovered, after gaming with your significant other, that you liked their character better than you do them.
or you have met you significant other because you liked their character first
or you just find that you like someone's character better then them and find yourself wondering how you could teleport said character here, in place of same said person.

. . .you have friends or acquaintances who regularly refer to you as "Og." (or something similar.)

. . .you've ceased responding to your birth name.
or have begun respondiing to your character's name more than your own
or begun acting out the character as if on cue, when someone calls you by your character's name

. . .you spend more money on dice than food.
or on books, supplements, and additions......in one day

. . .you sometimes forget what century this is.

. . .your first response to any frustrating situation is, "I'll bash it with my axe."

. . .you know alot of gaming jokes that used to be funny once.

. . .

Race your way back to the main pageclick on wolf