WORK PLACE     NOTICES

IMPORTANT NOTICE

TO: ALL PERSONNEL

SUBJECT: ABSENTEEISM

It has been brought to my attention that the 
attendance record of this department is a 
disgrace to our gracious benefactor who, at 
your own request, has given you your job. 
Due to your lack of consideration for your jobs 
with so fine a company, as shown by such 
frequent absenteeism, it has become necessary 
for us to revise some of our policies. The following 
changes are to take effect today:

SICKNESS:   NO EXCUSE...We will no longer accept 
your doctor's statement as proof, as we believe that 
if you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to 
come to work.

DEATH: (other than your own) This is no excuse-
There is nothing you can do for them, and we are 
sure that someone else with a lesser position can 
attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral 
can be held in the late afternoon we will be glad to 
let you off one hour early, provided that your share 
of the work is ahead enough to keep the job going 
in your absence.

			
LEAVE OF ABSENCE: (for an operation) We are no 
longer allowing this practice. We wish to discourage 
any thought that you may need an operation as we 
believe as long as you are an employee here, you will 
need all of whatever you have and you should not 
consider having anything removed. We hired you as 
you are and to have anything removed would certainly 
make you less than we bargained for.

DEATH: (your own) This will be accepted as an excuse, 
but we would like a two week notice, as we feel it is 
your duty to teach someone else your job.

Also, entirely too much time is being spent in the 
restroom. In the future we will follow the practice 
of going in alphabetical order. For example, those 
whose names begin with "A" will go from 8:00 to 8:15, 
"B" will go from 8:15 to 8:30, and so on. If you are 
unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait 
until the next day when your turn comes again.