THE OLD PHILOSOPHER SEZ,

Since George moved into the White House the 
Republicans have released a guide to the 
language now spoken there. It seems that
the local folks were having a hard time with 
the Texas accent and the cowboy colloquialisms 
that is now being used in the white House. 
These come from that guide book.....

1. The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving---NOT 
    OVERLYINTELLIGENT.

2. As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party---(SELF-
    EXPLANATORY)

3. Tighter than bark on a tree---NOT VERY GENEROUS.

4. Big hat, no cattle---ALL TALK AND NO ACTION.

5. We've howdied but we ain't shook yet---WE'VE MADE 
    A BRIEF ACQUAINTANCE, BUT NOT BEEN FORMALLY 
    INTRODUCED.

6. He thinks the sun comes up just to hear his crow---
    HE HAS A PRETTY HIGH OPINION OF HIMSELF.

7. She's got tongue enough for 10 rows of teeth---
    THAT WOMAN CAN TALK.

8. It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs---
    WE REALLY COULD USE A LITTLE RAIN AROUND 
    HERE.

9. Just because a chicken has wings don't mean 
    it can fly---
    APPEARANCES CAN BE DECEPTIVE.

10. This ain't my first rodeo---I'VE BEEN AROUND 
      AWHILE.

11. He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under 
      the porch---
      NOT THE MOST HANDSOME OF MEN.

12. They ate supper before they said grace---
       LIVING IN SIN.

13. Time to paint your butt white and run with the 
       antelope---
       STOP ARGUING AND DO AS YOU'RE TOLD.

14. As full of wind as a corn-eating horse---
      RATHER PRONE TO BOASTING.

15. You can put your boots in the oven, but that 
      don't make them biscuits---
      YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT 
      SOMETHING, BUT THAT DOESN'T CHANGE WHAT 
      IT IS.

Here are a few quotes by George that you
won't find in the handbook...

THIS IS OUR PRESIDENT

True quotes from George W.

1. "The vast majority of our imports come from 
     outside the country."

2. "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."

3. "I have made good judgments in the past. I have 
     made good  judgments in the future."

4. "The future will be better tomorrow."

5. "We're going to have the best educated American 
    people in the  world."

6. "I stand by all the misstatements that I've made."

7. "We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are part of 
    NATO. We have  a firm commitment to Europe. We are 
    a part of Europe."

8. "Public speaking is very easy."

9."A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people 
   going to the polls."

10. "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may 
      or may not occur."

11. "For NASA, space is still a high priority."

12. "Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession 
      that teach our  children."

13. "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. 
      It's the  impurities in our air and water that are 
     doing it."

14. "It's time for the human race to enter the solar 
       system."