THE OLD PHILOSOPHER SEZ,

Remember the Clint Eastwood movie, THE GOOD, 
THE BAD AND THE UGLY, well this doesn't have 
anything to do with the movie, but I think you'll 
enjoy it.

1. GOOD: Your wife is pregnant.
    BAD: It's triplets.
   UGLY: You had a vasectomy five years ago.

2. GOOD: Your son is finally maturing.
    BAD: He's involved with the woman next door.
   UGLY: So are you.

3. GOOD: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
    BAD: You can't find your birth control pills.
   UGLY: Your daughter borrowed them.

4. GOOD: Your husband understands fashion.
    BAD: He's a cross dresser.
   UGLY: He looks better than you.

5. GOOD: You give the "birds and bees" talk to
     your daughter.
    BAD: She keeps interrupting.
   UGLY: With corrections.

6. GOOD: Your son is dating someone new.
    BAD: It's another man.
   UGLY: He's your best friend.

7. GOOD: Your son studies a lot in his room.
    BAD: You find several porn movies hidden there.
   UGLY: You're in them.

8. GOOD: Your daughter got a new job.
    BAD: As a hooker
   UGLY: Your coworkers are her best clients.
   VERY UGLY: She makes more money than you do.