Capitulito V

When Nick thinks he’s done something wrong, something to hurt you, he hides. Not from you, inside you.

He curls up in bed next to you and kisses you tenderly and talks sweetly in your ear.

“I love you, baby.”

“I will never, ever hurt you.”

“You are so beautiful.”

“Do I really deserve you?”

And then you realize that he means all of it.

He’s not just begging for your forgiveness.

He’s begging for your love.

So you hide inside him too. You curl up in bed next to him and kiss him tenderly and talk sweetly into his ear.

“You are my life.”

“I couldn’t live without you.”

“I love you.”

Nick sits beside you on the piano bench and plays the simple songs he knows by heart.

Chopsticks.

Minuet.

Hot Crossed Buns.

And he sing/moans in that voice of his. “Hot crossed buns, hot crossed buns, one-a-penny, two-a-penny, hot crossed buns.”

He makes love to you slowly and tenderly instead of the usual fast and passionate. He takes the time to kiss your stomach and brush his hands against your lips.

He wishes he could stay forever.

But can only stay one more week.

Or one more day.

Or one more hour.

He calls you in the limo. And on the plane. And when he gets to the hotel. But after that you don’t hear from him much. Maybe once a week, only when he has a night off.

You love him, and you need him, and you miss him.

But he can’t be everywhere all the time.

So you fix into your schedule.

And never go over to his house. (Though he gave you a key and urged you to stay if you wanted; he wants you to have all the comforts he has.)

You wake up. Go to class. Eat dinner. And go to sleep.

And one morning when you wake up he’s lying in your small single bed with you.

He wants to bring you home with him.

And play Chopsticks with you.

And make love to you.