If I had turned him down he would have wanted to think of me as another nameless girl in his hotel room.
I guess the second night was the key to the rest, because after that it was “another night” then “another week” then “I’ll call you while I’m gone” and finally that led to “I miss you, baby” and “I can’t wait to see you” and the key to his apartment.
I remember I tried a new kind of shampoo the day I met Nick.
The things you remember are funny.
Nick kept running his fingers through my hair and kissing it gently.
I’ve used the same shampoo since.
Nick became Nicky, Amber became Bambi, and we almost lost our identities in each other.
But he was still Nick Carter.
This became painfully obvious the second time he left, after we had started staying together without sleeping together.
That’s when we knew there was no turning back really, when it wasn’t about sex anymore.
That’s when the pain started to mix in with the rest of it.
We could always break up, of course, we weren’t tied to each other.
But we really did want to be together.
I was more comfortable with him than I had ever been with anyone. We didn’t have the same old insecurities with eachother. We weren’t like anyone else.
We were us.
