Nick is a truly amazing person to watch while he sleeps. He looks like a little boy trapped in this pop star’s body.

My little boy.

Nick is snoring, a quiet, gentle snore, and his hand is laying heavily across my bare stomach. It’s almost difficult to breath, but I wouldn’t dare move his hand.

Nick’s blonde hair is so tempting. I want to run my fingers through it, as he is constantly doing.

Nick’s tattoos still fascinate me. Sometimes I hate them-Why would he ruin his beautiful, peachy skin with them?-and sometimes they’re the sexiest thing in the world.

Anyone who is willing to get a tattoo that runs down their spine is both insane and brave in my eyes.

But that pretty much sums Nick up.

Getting horribly drunk and resisting arrest are very insane and brave things to do.

Being a Backstreet Boy is a very insane and brave job.

Getting deeply involved with a one night stand is also insane and brave.

Nick has really strong and muscular arms. He has gained weight over the past few years, but personally I like him better this way. His head finally fits the rest of his body.

When I’m watching Nick and he wakes up he always seems frustrated. I guess he really likes his privacy.

Sleeping is a really personal thing.

“What are you thinking about?” His eyes meet mine.

“Nothing.”

“Really...” He slides his arm off my stomach and takes my hand.

“I just couldn’t sleep.”

“Again?”

I nod.

“Have you seen a doctor about it?”

I shake my head, “I’m just wired. It’s hard to sleep after being in class all day.”

“I’d think it would be easier.”

I shrug.

“So do you want to do something?”

“Nick, it’s almost three. You should sleep.”

“I can’t sleep when someone’s staring at me,” He smiles, but I know there’s more to it than just teasing.

“What do you propose that we do?”

“Well, we could get ice cream... or play music... or watch TV... or go for a walk... or drive to New York...” He looks over at me for the last part.

I look back.

He’s serious.

“New York?”

“Why not?”

I laugh. There’s that insane/brave thing again.

“I need a break, baby, I really really do. With no more phone calls or dance practice or press conferences. Let’s disappear.”

“Nick, that’s crazy.”

“No, staying here is crazy. You have a break coming up, you know, summer vacation. I want to run away with you.” He was grinning now.

You gotta hate it when he has that grin.

That’s when you know he’s got you.

That grin.

You’ll do anything once he pulls out the grin.

“But summer is the big tour season. You need to work this summer...”

“I don’t need to do anything, Amber, except go to New York with you.”

“You can’t.”

“Well, I can’t stay either, baby, so either come or stay.”

“Nick, don’t you dare make me decide.”

“Come.”

I sigh.

“Please come.” He reaches around to rub my stomach. “I want you to be there with me.”

“Nick...”

“Please?”

What else was I going to say?

“Okay, Nick, I’ll come.”