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WEEK 1
When Trying To Hide Hickeys: Toothpaste Can Be A Helpful Tool
9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend Crest.... I Recommend Colgate
WEEK 2
Never Join Post Prom Committee
WEEK 3
Never Smoke Weed In The Bitch Seat* Of A Car
...Only By The Windows!
(*Bitch Seat = The Middle Seat In The Back)
WEEK 4
Always Make Sure You Have Your Keys
In Your Hands Before You Lock The Doors
(Always Leave A Spare Key With Someone You Trust)
WEEK 5
If You Go To A Concert At The Tweeter Center
Just Pay The 20 Bucks And Park At The Small Parking Lot
(Good Times Waiting 3 Hours To Get Out Of Blink 182/Green Day)
WEEK 6
Don't Drive 80 MPH in a 45 MPH Zone at 2 AM in The Morning
With People In Your Car When You're Not Legal To Have Passengers Yet
(PS- Don't Have Weed In The Car When You Get Pulled Over)
WEEK 7
Don't Hook Up With Greek Girls When You've Had A Girlfriend For Over A Year
... Or Just Don't Cheat At All
WEEK 8
When Going To Parties:
Remember To Wear A Lot Of Clothes
(In Case You Accidentally Start Taking Them Off)
WEEK 9
Don't Drive Without Brakes...
...unless you're a dumbass!
(Dumbass Of The Month, Rob Bernasconi)
WEEK 10
Never Peel Out At St Tim's
...ya don't wanna wake up the priests!
"We Have A Report Of A Robbery With The Same Car Model"
WEEK 11
If You Almost Get In More Than One
Accident In The Same Day...
.... Turn The Keys Over To Somebody Else!
WEEK 12
Don't Be The First One To Drink The Spiked Punch
...Ya Never Know What Could Be In It
Be Careful!
WEEK 13
Don't Challenge The Egyptian Families At The
Junior High South To A Tennis Match...
...They'll Steal Your Balls!
WEEK 14
When Cruising The Town
Make Sure Not To Hit The Curb...
...Alignments Can Cost Up To 60 Bucks!
WEEK 15
Westwood Girls...
... They Fucking Blow
My Poor Car!
WEEK 16
Don't Ever Leave Your Children...
...Home Alone For A Week
END OF SUMMER PARTIES, SWEEEEET!
WEEK 17
Get Your Required Classes
Finished Early In High School
... Senioritis ...
WEEK 18
Don't Leave Your Senior Year
With Any Unfinished Business
... Do The Things That You Want To Do ...
WEEK 19
Don't Drive SUVs!
Seriously, What The Hell Is The Big Deal ...
... Just Cut The Shit; Buy A Car That Won't Roll Over
WEEK 20
Make Sure You Come To This Website Regularly, You Don't Wanna
Miss It If Something Interesting Actually Shows Up
...I Made It To The One Year Anniversary...
WEEK 21
Don't Wait Until Senior Year
To Take Your SATs.
It's Bad Enough That My GPA Is Too Low, My SAT Scores Don't Even Exist!
WEEK 22
Apply For College
Cuz Otherwise You're Just
A Waste Of Space
WEEK 23
Put Your Pants
On One Leg At A Time
Can Ya Tell I'm Running Out Of Tips Here...
*ALL TIPS ARE ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO ME*
*OR SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED TO SOMEONE I KNOW*
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