+ "Change is not merely necessary to life--it is life." - Alvin Toffler + "Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm." - Unknown + "To be satisfied with what one has; that is wealth. As long as one sorely needs a certain additional amount, that man isn't rich." - Mark Twain + "Power is not revealed by striking hard or often, but by striking true." - Honore de Balzac + "The purpose of writing is to inflate weak idea, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity." - Unknown
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 1:37 AM -
Dilemma #157. I have these 3 giant ZITS on my face that i call "The Bermuda Triangle", it looks so bad! I cant believe that it had to turn up right now. I knew I should NOT have eaten those dove chocolates, hope it disappears by Monday or I would look like a teen (oops too late lol).
Tip #536 >> Eat more Fruits and Vegetables instead of junk. Delicious too! Tip #891 >> Exercise Regularly, it also unblocks the flows of energy. Tip #107 >> Stress Less! Laugh More!
Fact #765465 Amazing Race 4 is coming back!!!!
Rant #435435656 I hate lining up in the wrong service line, the line that doesnt move and eveyone behind you moves on the other line and while they are home eating the food already you still havent left ur place... grrr therefore must Learn #74543423 S.S.S. which is Scope, Select and Skip!
Rave #78767543252 Charlene and her parents came to visit us, so so cute! :) therefore Discovery #87132 See Charlene = Me Happy!
*dance too much booty in the pants!*
NUUUUUUUU X b2k feat r kelly = girlfriend (remix) X j. lo = i'm glad X 50 cent feat nate dogg = 21 questions X FaBuLoUs Ft LiL mO = cAnT LeT u Go X r kelly feat tigger = snake X tlc - who's it gonna be {verdict? HAWTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!}
CLASICCCCCCC X chris deBurgh = Lady In Red X diana ross and the supremes = Can't hurry love
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 12:35 AM -
Thursday, May 29, 2003
Downloading from cybertlc.com! cant wait to buy it when it comes out! support TLC people! |> Crush On You (unreleased)-Egypt and Left Eye |> Who's It Gonna Be (International Bonus Track)-TLC
Its been sunny again but the nights are freezing! My throat is kinda hurting and I rather not be sick this winter. Yeah gonna start looking a lot for a job again after the Avril L. concert on Monday! I am gonna be going to my first concert ever, a real one were I paid for an actual big celebrity so I am excited.
Eating: Mi Goreng w/ boiled egg >> verdict... yumm! Addicted to: Big Brother ;]
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 10:50 AM -
Tuesday, May 27, 2003
An open window. A curtain blowing by the wind. Emails need to be ckecked. Another cold windy cloudy day. Loud music playing in the background. I've enjoyed my alone time. Coffee and Toast for breakfast. I am feeling so excited. TLC re-released in Germany soon to the world. Bonus track and videos! Fans so excited in the message board. My back hurting, been sitting too much. Skipped my exercise. Maybe yoga later. Warm Clothes. Hungry again. A mobile phone on next to me. About to surf some more.
how i take: my coffee: strong white 2 sugars my tea: black tea 1/4 cold water 1 sugar my chocolate: 2 chocs lots of millk 1 sugar
the finale of "Bituin" (filo soap - around 1 year) was ok. it was great that people change for the better and most of the things were resolved but i am not very fond of the love team at the end. we cant get what we want. im disappointed but its alright. this is the theme song for the show.
Langit NA Bituin sung by: Miss CArol Banawa (yehey!!!!) for the teleserye 'BitUIN'
LANGIT NA BITUIN
Hanggang saan kaya hanggang kailan pa ba maghihintay ang puso kong nangungulila
sana'y malaman mo ako'y naririto pakinggan mo't, sumasamo damdamin kong ito
kailan makakamit langit na bituin kailan masisilayan ganda ng yong ningning sana'y iyong dinggin bulong ng damdamin sana'y makapiling sana'y mahalin sana'y makamit ang langit na bituin
Ba't ligaya'y di ganap gayong nasakin ng pangarap nalulungkot, hinahanap ang mga yakap
Kailn makakamit Langit na bituin kailan masisilayan ganda ng yong ningning sana'y iyong dinggin bulong ng damdamin sana'y makamit ang langit na bituin
nagkamali ako ng minsang iwan ka ngayo'y batid ko na ikaw lang palang hinahanap ang nag-iisang langit kong bituin
sana'y iyong dinggin
bulong ng damdamin sana'y makamit ang langit na ang langit kong...
Kailan makakamit langit na bituin kailan masisilayan ganda ng yong ningning sana'y iyong dinggin bulong ng damdamin sana'y makapiling sana'y mahalin sana'y makamit ang langit na bituin...
by the way "bituin" means "star or stars". * * * . it was a great show!
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 12:21 PM -
>> The Definition of Success, by Ralph Waldo Emerson: To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded. ::Cordelia::
>> Observations for Modern Living — Biologic Show 1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 3. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. 4. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip. 5. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. 6. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven. 7. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.) ::Chris::
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 11:16 AM -
Saturday, May 24, 2003
dont you just love coupons! you get things cheaper! way cool! especially in food in takeaway shops. had some from burger king the other night. mmm talking/writing about fastfood stores, kfc and pizza hut/haven should be called slowfood. it takes ages to get your food. i went to kfc and wanted just chips and it took 15/20 minutes to get it. and wanted a meal deal from pizza which is 2 pizza and all the other stuff and it took us 40 minutes. we were so annoyed....omg. slowfood!
movie reviews!
>>phone booth (2.5/5) weird and kinda repetitive and slow. honesty in people we love and how we treat strangers/people
>>about schimdt (4/5) great movie! funny, witty and life changing! sometimes we think that we are a failure and forget that we make a difference, no matter how tiny it is. we have a purpose. lots of quite and long shot scences provides perspectives... the letter thing was really cool and funny.
>>final destination 2 (3/5) freaky, lots of suspense, death is everywhere? plus brutal death scences, it made me remember the many close encounters of death i had. nearly fell off this public stairs, was nearly ran over, i got lost, i fell off a speeding bike. i jumped off a tricyle, flu i had in year 12 and 2001 to name a few.
>>changing lanes/lines (3/5) very real, again... how you treat other people, what is important to you? importance of time and family and your own personal beliefs. sometimes we turn the wrong path in life, a way we didnt want or dreamed off but its never too late to change. some people thrive in chaos and revenge? stop. lots of close up scences making you connect to the actors.
>>dekada 70' [filo movie] (3/5) family closeness, difference in the mother and father roles in a family, politics and fighting for what you believe and all the people that may stand in your way. this is an exerpt, something along the lines, when a child wrote a letter to the family/parents "you can give me love, but you cant give me my soul etc...." basically there is only so much you loved ones can give to you, the rest you will find on your own and in others.
the end.
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 9:37 PM -
Thursday, May 22, 2003
well i finally changed it. its been a while since i changed the layout. i have been changing the pic but the layout is totally new, well kinda lol. it has a new fresh look! so i call this FRESH! i like it a lot of course i made it. 5 cool coloured scenic pics from webshots! i really do like it! the feeling it exudes. tell me what you think! muchly appreciated! ok bye!
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 9:11 PM -
well that was quick. i am all better. i think the sleep helped a lot as well as doing things i like and had a quite moment. im just too moody lately, just like "big brother" when you're in the house everything seems so intense coz you forget things.
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 3:06 PM -
Wednesday, May 21, 2003
i want to sleep and forget but i really need to RESET. where is the reset button!? it feels like i did it all wrong, but then again how would i know if i was doing it right to start with? im just gonna play music, how cool it is to alter emotions. i need a pick me up. i think my shadow is still here?! its taking over?! not if i can help it. i need a talk with it (ie think). i need a break. i need to get off my arse. i need to prioritize. i need to chill. i seem to need so much... but i know i dont, only essentials.
P.E.A.C.E. >> positive + energy + activates + constant + elevation.
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 1:22 PM -
i think i know why i have been in a weird mood here. the first was maybe the rainy days, the other was that i have been stuck at home, and last maybe the stars. i read my horoscope yesterday and it said something about sometimes we meet our other side, our so called shadow. we have to say hello, learn from it and then put it on a spotlight and maybe it disappear. something along those lines. so you guys meet my shadow?! we've got to blame something/one *cough* myshadow *couch* lol
Aquarius Profile by Astronet Ruled by shocking Uranus, Aquarius very much epitomes the planet that inspires it. This sign has astonishing intellectual and communication skill. Aquarius may the sign of the rugged individualist, the mad scientist and the lone eccentric, but this visionary also represents social interaction and higher consciousness. Aquarius' title, the "Humanitarian of the Zodiac," is well earned! For a fixed sign, Aquarius has a lot of adaptability. Attribute this to the need to accommodate others. A passion for life, new things, and novel situations sends Aquarius in all directions! Without stability and a willingness to listen, however, this sign can become erratic. Aquarius can try many new things but end up mastering none. That can stifle the great success potential here. Slowing down long enough to establish a solid foundation gives Aquarius the ability to ground his or her electrical energy. Receptivity can calm rebellious tendencies, especially those that put a member of this sign at cross-purposes with his or her boss! Aquarius' future-oriented energies give all members of this sign the advantage of living as if they are well into the 25th Century!
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 11:44 AM -
Monday, May 19, 2003
from cybertlc.com: Thanks to Zane, we now have the tracklisting to the Australian release of TLC 's "Damaged" and "Hands Up".
>> Out June 16 2003 1. Damaged (Radio Edit) 2. Hands Up (? Richard X remix) 3. Hands Up (So So Def Remix) (? feat JD} 4. Hands Up (So So Def Remix) Feat Clipse 5. Hands Up (Nasty Boy Remix) 6. Hands Up Video (? album edit)
ps. i hope this is real this time... pps. its been changed so many times. first it was jan28?, feb12-16?, mar4-16?, april28?, may4-14? and now... june 16?! ppps. make sure u guys buy it! its awesome! so worth it!
jammin' w/ [tlc - u in me] [tlc - It's Alright (cajjmere dubpl8)] [tlc - getaway]
thinking: i dont know if i should make a page of all the things i like "fan site" thingy... but there is a lot out there already (really good ones) and a lot of work to make it, especially getting all the information and pics. it would be good for reasons >> show my appreciation, share info, good resume material, hobby, fun. still thinking. i doubt this will happen coz i was gonna put my creative stuff etc. up but i haven't yet. just a thought. still thinking.
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 1:39 PM -
Saturday, May 17, 2003
i think i can identify to shopaholics. the thrill that you get when you see something and you think it will look really good on you and wait.....its also on sale or its affordable. so you go and try it on and fall in love with the item thinking that it will increase or replace something that is lacking in your life and maybe extend your self worth or you just really look hot in it. so you exchange your well earned / or not money with the item. get home...try it on again and think about what you can pair with it. then you have the further anticipation on where you will wear it first. exciting!
i have not yet mastered the browsing and browsing part. i just walked with familia today and wait ti'll i happen to see it. we saw baby charlene today! we came over and she was so happy until we had to leave. she is so sweet and cute!
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 9:46 PM -
A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his face and hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I''m only here to wash your face and hands."
He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?"
Again the nurse replies, "I can''t tell. I''m only here to wash your face and hands."
The ward nurse passes by and sees the man getting a little distraught so she marches over to inquire what is wrong.
"Nurse," he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?"
Being a nurse she is undaunted. She whips back the bedclothes, pulls down his pajama trousers, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas, replaces the bedclothes and announces, "Nothing is wrong with them!!!"
At this the man pulls off his oxygen mask and asks again,
[Are You Listening to Your Life?] -Every day, your life is speaking to you, telling you exactly where you should be going. Are you listening? You could be in for a great change!
[Lessons for Listening to Your Life] Lesson #1: Take Responsibility for Your Life. -Responsibility Exercises Lesson #2: Live in the Moment. -What it Means to Live in the Moment Lesson #3: Follow Your Intuition. -How to Listen to Your Intuition
[Where to Look for Signs] - Can you open your heart and mind to listen? Our lives communicate with us in many ways. Learn where to look. - Explore your feelings in your journal.
[Where to Look for Signs] Can you open your heart and mind to listen? Learn to keep an open mind about where you'll get these messages?they can come from many places: -People. By paying close attention to conversations with friends, family members or coworkers, you may hear important information. - Journaling. Use your journal to dialogue with your "Wise Self" by asking a question, getting quiet, and then writing whatever comes to mind. This is a great way to train yourself to look inside for answers first. - TV and Radio. By paying attention to what occurs around you, you might even find that information or next steps come to you in the most unusual ways. You may get an answer while watching a favorite TV program or tap into a specific memory or feeling while listening to the radio. - Dream Messages. Find out how to tap in to your dreams?they can give you insight into your life.
[Take Responsibility for Your Life] In order to direct the course of your life, you must take full responsibility for everything that happens. No more blaming or waiting for someone to save you. -Responsibility Exercise I have no control over _____ in my life. I have no choice about _____. I feel powerless over _____. -The answers to these sentences will provide clues to those places where you may need to take back your power, accept the reality of your situation, or surrender and move on.
[What it Means to Live in the Moment] - When You Live in the Moment, You Will: Hear the messages your life gives you each day Respond better to these messages Feel more gratitude Connect more deeply with others Stay connected to your feelings on a more regular basis - How to Develop "Present Moment Awareness" Breathe deeply?Focus your attention on your breath. Focus on your body. Use simply daily tasks like brushing your teeth or taking a shower to bring your attention to your body and focus your awareness on what you're doing in the moment. Meditate for briefs periods of time each day. Start out with five minutes of silence and stillness and build from there. You might even practice the pleasure of being still two or three times a day!
[How to Listen to Your Intuition] -When you trust and act on your intuition, you increase your self-esteem, build trust in yourself, and experience a profound sense of security that no relationship or amount of money will ever give you. How to Listen to Your Intuition -Rev up your intuition by starting to use it for less important decision-making choices such as the right meal to eat or the best movie to see. -When making important decisions, get quiet and ask yourself for guidance. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and focus on a question. Notice any images, thoughts, sounds or feelings that occur to you. -Be willing to make mistakes in order to strengthen your relationship with your inner guidance system. As you learn to act on your intuition, act on the wisdom you receive, even if you're not sure whether or not it's the right direction. -Don't worry about making the "perfect" decision!
A journal is a private place to express all your inner thoughts and feelings. Through the process of writing, you will come closer to understanding who you are and who you want to be in life. Your insights, your breakthroughs, your inner most secrets ? record them all here. Discover yourself. How to Journal -How can keeping a journal change your life? What exactly is a journal? What should you write about? Here are some ideas to help you get started.
[HOW TO JOURNAL] The Journal is your private place to express all your inner thoughts and feelings. Begin to understand yourself through writing. You can then move closer to knowing who you are and who you want to be in life. Your feelings, your breakthroughs, your desires ? record them all here. Discover yourself.
Try these exercises for inspiration!
*Getting Started Find a comfortable position in your chair. Clear your mind. Relax. And let your thoughts and emotions flow freely. It is important that you do not censor yourself as you write. Do not worry about grammar or punctuation errors. Put every thought onto the page. Be risky. Be daring. Be you.
*What should I write about? Writing helps clarify feelings. Choose a topic each day, and let your mind go. Start writing words. And follow your feelings. Did something happen to you today that made you upset or joyful? What did you discover about yourself or the world? Is there something from the past that you wish you could take back or do over to make it right? What are your needs? What are your desires? What are you most afraid of doing? What are you afraid of not doing? What are you curious about? What issues are unresolved for you? What do you love to do, experience, and feel? What kinds of things in your life do you want to build on? Find a photo or an image. What does it make you feel? For inspiration, take a look at our Breathing Space photo gallery.
*How often should I write? As often you like. Your journal is here for you whenever you feel like writing or reflecting about anything.
*What is the difference between the six journals? Daily Journal ? Write whatever you like here. This is your own private space for your general daily thoughts. Gratitude Journal ? Record five things you love every day. Your entire outlook on life will change because you will be looking for the things you are happy about to record later on in your journal. Spa Girls Journal ? Keep your exercise routine on track with your fitness goals! Record your best and worst fitness moments. How is it making you feel about your body today? Discovery Journal ? Get to know yourself by looking back. Remember how you felt, what you loved, were you afraid of, and dreamed of doing. As a child, a teen, and a young adult, what are the themes taking place in your life? Health Journal ? Your goals, successes and challenges. It's good for your body and soul. How are you treating your body? Create Your Own Journal ? You can name it whatever you like. It's yours!
*What is the Shared Journals section? Your journals are completely private and secure, unless you'd like to share your entries with others. This is a special area where you can read what others have written and share your own journal entries with them. You have the option to post any entry from any one of your journals, except the Create Your Own Journal. Sharing is a wonderful way to inspire and encourage others along the journey to self-discovery.
*How can a journal help me? Self-discovery. Writing consistently in a journal can give you a deeper connection with your own inner self. Less stress. Releasing all your inner thoughts and anxieties through writing can help release unwanted stress. Courage to pursue your passion. Knowing what you want to do with your life is the first step in making it happen. Understanding the past. Journaling can bring up many issues in life that are still unresolved. Writing about them helps take you to a place of forgiveness and healing. Greater sense of peace. Listening to your inner thoughts through writing will give you a greater sense of peace and a more positive outlook on your experiences in life. Awareness Get to know what really brings you joy in life.
*How has keeping a journal affected your life? What have you discovered about yourself? Share your journaling experiences with others.
[Start Your Journal: Exercises] -Starting your own personal journal can be a scary prospect. Do you find yourself staring at a blank page? Your journal can be a vehicle to open up your thoughts, feelings and dreams. All you need to do is start writing. -Journal Exercises Memories: What is your very first memory? Can you recall the details? Memories can be misleading. Sometimes family expectations may have reshaped what really happened into something more socially acceptable. Our own minds can do the same thing, blocking memories from our consciousness, insulating us from what really happened. About Myself: What do you love about yourself? What do you hate? Be honest. How do you feel about yourself right now? What makes you feel good? What's holding you back? Complete the following thoughts. Mirrors: Who do you admire or dislike? Do you see yourself in those people? If it is true that we are mirrors for one another, then the qualities you most like in others are reflected in yourself...and the qualities you least like in others are those you probably don't like in yourself.
[Listening to Your Dreams] If you're not listening to the messages your life is sending you throughout the day, there's hope? you're likely to get messages while you sleep!
-Dreaming Possibilities Your dreams can give you great direction in your life. Here's life coach Cheryl Richardson's insight into the importance of your dreams: Recurring dreams may be messages from your subconscious about a situation that needs your attention. You can dream solutions to problems. Your dreams can contain important messages about your body and your health. -Tap into Your Dream Messages Keep a journal by your bed. Write in it when you awake in the morning in your online journal. If you wake up in the middle of the night and have had a dream, write it down! You may not remember it in the morning. If you have trouble remembering your dreams (which many people do), start by writing fragments or even vague memories of dreams you may have had. Pretty soon your subconscious will get the message that you're paying attention, and you'll remember more and more of your dreams. Try writing down a question before you go to bed. Often, you'll get the answer in a dream.
Listen to Your Life! Every day, your life is speaking to you, telling you exactly where you should be going. Are you listening? Start paying attention.
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 1:12 AM -
why do i feel like. i wanna / have 2 explain / prove myself. i just wanna be. i dont care anymore. whatever they see. ... wait....*pause sigh umm hmm awww* have i really cared? mmm... well wuteva! but i like what bec said explaining our group at high school (i think that was us she was explaining - well i like it anyway) it was simply "we were just were" thats wow...lol... i like! a lot!
Your Vmean is 2.92 and your Hmean is 4.94. So when reading other Enneagram books or websites refer to the Type 1w2, Social variant descriptions. The Reformer (1) wants to make the world perfect. The Reformer has a compulsive need to live life the right way, improve the self and others, and to avoid anger. Two Wing (w2) : Warmer, more helpful, empathic, and controlling. below 3 Vmean = too instinctual too attached too practical too settled too conservative too optimistic too conforming too unconscious too past oriented sub 5 Hmean = too manipulative too solicitous too receptive too submissive too self obsessed too sensitive too socialistic
ps. i think i was 7 [enthusiast] before, maybe it changes...
:::playing::: >> In Grid - Tu Es Foutu >> Busta Rhymes feat. Mariah Carey & Flipmode Squad - I Know What You Want
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 12:26 AM -
Thursday, May 15, 2003
i added a random quotes in the left side top corner of the blog, under the picture and marquee, above the navigation menus / content, between 2 horizontal lines. and the quote i have right now is... "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. -- Albert Einstein" how cool! =) currently: raining so much, what a miracle!
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 2:52 PM -
ps. this was suppose to be a response to Bec's comment but it bacame long so i posted it... pss. and then the issue... i may have given more of me than i expected again?... who cares... psss. ummm... stop it!...lol... learn to edit....share what u want and keep the rest offline or in conversations...
yeah maybe i am feeling vulnerable lately... but i think i got a knock knock last night watching survivor. how weird how that show made me a bit stronger... these people who out of tv would be so different and when we saw them they did some things that even they may not have expected. we can't judge them just by that show but we make a judgement... u know what i mean... there we saw them learn and grow and change and adapt... just like this page... i get so tied up with so many dilemmas and sometimes i forget that "thats just life!".
i am thinking about this idea... "we dont always have to be nice".... still thinking about it..... its ok to be a bitch/arsehole once in a while?.... you know tantrums and such..... we all have them... no one is perfect.....
question: if someone is trying to kill you... would you just let them or would you have to protect yourself, self defence...duh? even if you have to hurt them... ummm??? yeah so...what about someone killing your spirit or confidence or ur way of living....??? would you just let them...
and then "but they started it".... "this is just a revenge" just like that movie that i love "count of monte christo" where a man's past has come back to haunt him. and another man should revenge or not?
revenge is sweet. but is it right? for my belief says it is not right but instinct says get back at them. the beast in us VS or the humane in us.....
here is another..... heard about exploiting others?! how about exploiting yourself. use what you've got. see it sounds bad... but its just you.... so acceptable? some what acceptable? disagree? slightly disagree? etc.. lol
survivor!.... when will temptation island and amazing race coming back! ohhhh... big brother is on.....hmmm...
about the job... i felt like i have missed a great oppurtunity and it would not have hurt if i actually just went and see. but i didnt and i cant do anything now. can i afford to be picky? in some degree no, since i need experience and i need it to do this to move into better things. but in some case yes. because it wont make me happy waking up in the morning so early and travelling so far away.
sometimes we have no choice. i am grateful i have a choice....
i wrote this offline but was interrupted when i got a job call.... i wanna share this.
*** i was reading a post that jos wrote (dont know why but i just opened her page) and she goes on about friends who say what they think openly and they voice their opinion and ....im just gonna get the .... i'll just copy the paragraph...lol... btw its a coincidence that i found this coz ive been thkning about this a while back.
"And about telling people to piss them off. Mar was trying to tell me that she doesn't like it....I saw her point. I guess we don't really want that. But there's just something...I don't know how to explain it, between friends. It's different for me. I don't really mind it between FRIENDS. It's kinda like, u just tell them, and you're comfortable enough to say it, because both of you know it(?) I mean, it's prolly just funny sarcasm, right? When they say it, I don't think it's meant to put you down and be full on seriously spiteful and vengeful. It's a funny sarcasm to me (that's just how i see it, i can't help it), and yes there could be some truth in it, and that's the very reason why it's important. They tell you things that are valuable criticisms. And really, you don't just say stuff like that to people you just met, right? To me it's part of the definition of comfortable and TRUE FRIENDSHIP. For example tonight, i was just reminding esver about how in her yr 12 yearbook what i wrote on it was just quotes. Not just a small one, I mean 2 PAGES of my fave quotes! About 50 or more quotes i think (she granted me one night with it). And she was like, "what's all these CRAP???" This is another reason why, although some people don't like mar voicing her opinion, it's important to me. Of course it's up to the person how they'll take it. But to me I appreciate that she can just say it because that means she's comfortable enough with me to just say what she REALLY thinks. That means I'm her friend :-)"
that is really nice! i do agree a lot!!! i believe that we should openly say things, our opinions to people we care about. but how would they take it?! some friends can be over sensitive, even though you are comfortable to them are they comfortable with you. what if you say and judge things without having prior knowledge... when i say thnigs i TRY and know what i am talking about and just dont give opinions with no real reason.....there is a difference between... that is totally crap.... and i dont really like it....(i dont mean the joking way but the true opinions....i know if its meant to be a joke...coz i can handle joke) what i cant stand is when someone makes an opinion without really thinking about and just says its crap... full stop... ummm why???!!! what about the quote... its important to them so they are important to you.......
omg.... i got a call to go to this place and see of i can do the job....arghhhhh!!!!!!!!! ***
lol... thought someone out there might want some more reading...lol
hmmm... bored.... cant do much coz im dwnldng b2k tv performance (takes too much bandwidth) which maybe used in fusion's next dance. get some moves baby! ok gonna eat lunch and watch day time tv.
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 12:34 PM -
i couldnt wait... can you see somethnig new on the corner? the frame is gone! one less pop up and it looks cool! i got the code here. so thanks "chud.ca" !!!
survivor amazon was excellent! jenna VS matt and jenna won! i dont really mind, since i couldnt really decide. but yeah the game was excellent. why is smallville and sex and the city finishing?! grrr... ohhhh...is it true? 90210 reunion?!
you learn a lot especially on how people are and how to use what u've got and surprise yourself... what they do and what i would do in many occassions... i know i am being vague but i cant explain right now.... i wont see the survivor cast anymore (i get clingy)....but yeah i got something out of it. still survivor australian outback (not the aussie version) was worst as in food and game....go survivor!
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 12:29 AM -
Wednesday, May 14, 2003
i am having some non-dilemmas?! its about this. web log - blog. online journal. i feel like i am crossing and going overboard about things i write here (for me) - some really personal stuff (to me) i mean, yes... i am free to write anything i want coz this is my page, but its also online. i feel like i am writing things that i am thinking should be kept private (my comfortability factor). on the other hand i want to write and remember these in the future....
also.........so am i writing for an audience? maybe. i write what i want and i dont care who reads it (now i kinda do)... i dont write so i can show off or impress people or ask for sympathy etc... but i like to share my opinions and experiences and its fun... etc....thats why its "online"..... coz it would be nice if i get some feedback. .... is that contradicting?!
basically the bottom line is privacy. things i write may change. so the non-dilemma is how can i make a personal blog... not so personal... "nothings right im torn"
some suggestions are... not have one/anonymous..... thats no fun pasword/hidden.... but i want to share to other people too. censor... maybe... not give all..... but give enough..... topics... thats a good idea.... what if i want more offline private journal... yes i have that already...... blog should be different then?!
so.... basically i want to leave some things for myself and offline life... get?! i dont know how i am going to do this but i think i can do it! its kinda hard to put a barrier on things..... they may seem ok now but later is another story..... i think i am going crazy... making a semi big thing about this... but you get what i mean???......i just feel like i am puttin my self out there too much. therefore....... not give all...... but just give enough... how would i know that...
ps. am i crazy and picky? someone called me last night for a job!!!! and its at Botany starting at 7:30am contract and pc assembly.....after lots of thought.... i didnt go.... kinda feel regretful yet want something closer and better time? am i crazy and picky....
see would i classify this as personal?! where is the line.... it seems all that i wrote up there is....pointless.... why do i care and think too much? hope its sunny tmrrw!
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 1:20 PM -
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
returned back to the first look/pic of this layout which is paradise (is very nice!) paradise 1. often Paradise The Garden of Eden. 2. Christianity. a. The abode of righteous souls after death; heaven. b. An intermediate resting place for righteous souls awaiting the Resurrection. 3. A place of ideal beauty or loveliness. 4. A state of delight.
Word History The history of paradise is an extreme example of amelioration, the process by which a word comes to refer to something better than what it used to refer to.
ironic, weird, cool stuff!
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 12:21 PM -
Monday, May 12, 2003
dont you just hate being blamed for something you didnt even do....grrr ...forget that... i wanna share something nice today......i was trying to look for this entry i found somewhere a while back.....about needing someone. i cant find it so i will retell.... first of all.... happy mothers day to all mums and especially to my mum! since it was mothers day yesterday......i'll change it a bit....its about this lady who at the last minute was asked to play the piano at this concert, she did her very best to play. after she played she bowed and heard no one clapped or cheered for her. she felt disppointed and heartbroken.....it was quite and suddenly this little girl at the back started clapping and cheering, the little girl.....screamed "thats my mummy, i love you, your the best!" then all of a sudden the audience burst out in cheers and claps!!! "yey" the lady then smiled and was so happy, she bowed to the audience and blew a kiss to her daughter.... the end! it only takes one person, one supporter.....we all need someone. we need each other. just like that speech this guy made in the logies last night when he said....something like...."we can never make it alone.... we all need someone"
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 3:09 PM -
Sunday, May 11, 2003
wanna know the secret?!
THE SECRET One day, one friend asked another, "How is it that you are always so happy? You have so much energy, and you never seem to get down."
With her eyes smiling, she said, "I know the Secret!" "What secret is that?" To which she replied, "I'll tell you all about it, but you have to promise to share the Secret with others."
"The Secret is this: I have learned there is little I can do in my life that will make me truly happy. I must depend on God to make me happy and to meet my needs. When a need arises in my life, I have to trust God to supply according to HIS riches. I have learned most of the time I don't need half of what I think I do. He has never let me down. Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy."
The questioner's first thought was, "That's too simple!" But upon reflecting over her own life she recalled how she thought a bigger house would make her happy, but it didn't! She thought a better paying job would make her happy, but it hadn't. When did she realize her greatest happiness? Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren, playing games, eating pizza or reading a story, a simple gift from God.
Now you know it too! We can't depend on people to make us happy. Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that. Trust HIM!
YOU can tell someone the Secret, too! That GOD in His wisdom will take care of YOU! But it's not really a secret... We just have to believe it and do it... Really trust God! ::::: Arvin was distracted @ 4:49 PM -
Saturday, May 10, 2003
i am felling really tired yet i dont want to sleep. my brother and sister are still sleeping over at kuya joel's place and my parents are asleep already. i should sleep soon since i am going to church early tomorrow with my parents. since my bro and sis arent home we cant do the traditional breakfast in bed for mothers day tomorrow. i dont know what they are doing...grr... dont they know. what can i do.... we all have our own different reasons but at the end we just wanna be happy. so the question is would we be fair and consider others or are we all just in it for ourselves. selfish question. i know....blah blah blah.... it goes both ways and there is no extremes just balance. its crazy how i ask these questions that get the most basic answers...(most of the time) well it gets me thinking... although the answers get similar and close to the same.... like balance, things change, not black and white, w.w.j.d. (what would Jesus do)....its okay, feel/do what u wanna fell/do, not equal but fair, tell it like it is, smell the roses, be appreciative, no is a sentense, 5 lessons, it goes on, we make things more complicated than it is bcoz its their fault and its never mine..lol... keep it simple stupid, just be....but what fun would that be, isnt life weird and fun and sad and exciting and mello and crazy....etc.....maybe learn new things than repeat the same old crap over and over again... even why ask these questions and try and asnwer them....lol.. i betta stop.... im sounding like a broken keyboard......tmrw is a new day maybe i'll change my mind....i cant stop...lol :p i better sleep. night :) here is another... enjoy now its the only gurantee :) ps... since i bought >> ohh... in the tlc tip :: i just wanna say how excellent it is!!! ;] pss... job progess: singned up for hays.com.au and i got a connection! :0 i chatted with Eddie last night and he said he can pass my resume to his boss coz they are looking for someone in ihug accounts... basic data input and call log and user stuff. its a start, its a job and im using a pc so its cool but thats if i get it. but next week i gotta maybe start going to calling agencies and reading the papers. arghhhh! :( and :/ psss. barkey and qt got a bath and a haircut :> :) like my faces!? thats all for now.
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 11:48 PM -
The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 8 times. The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge!
The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Eigth Level of Hell - the Malebolge! Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
am i bad!? i didnt think i was that bad. it must be mistaken?!
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 11:10 PM -
fortune cookie?!
+ Some men dream of fortunes, others dream of cookies.
what does this mean for you?!
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 2:46 AM -
new pic called: venture. n. 1. An undertaking that is dangerous, daring, or of uncertain outcome. 2. A business enterprise involving some risk in expectation of gain. 3. Something, such as money or cargo, at hazard in a risky enterprise.
it includes the colours of my degree (gold and blue) and a door (possibilities / new world). i didnt expect venture to mean so risky and daring. but i like the word and its from the word adventure. it's suppose sound hopeful, exciting and fun! see and explore a new world thingy-ma-gig!
>> j.lo - i'm glad >> b2k feat r.kelly - girlfriend (remix) >> b2k + imx - clap your hands >> imx - stay the night >> jhene feat lil fizz - sneaky >> b2k feat jhene and romeo - tease >> blaque - can't get it back
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 12:10 AM -
Thursday, May 08, 2003
added mycareer.com.au and monster.com.au (seems easy online) next >> newspapers (at least try) soon >> find an agency (look for me?!) maybe >> send my resume (not so good) no family or friend connections... im just tired and sick of looking and its less than a week and i havent even left the house yet. lol. be positive! it'll come, hopefully soon!
You are Jubilee! Though you may be young and inexperienced, you have great potential and will someday become an admirable figure. For that to happen, though, you must overcome your juvenile belief system and adopt a more mature view on life. Which X-Men character are you most like? brought to you by Quizilla
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 2:03 PM -
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
actions speaks louder than words?! so pressure here we come!? i made a resume at seek.com.au and applied to 8 support/help desk jobs that i can find (only 8 coz others i dont think i can get....maybe). i am kinda bummed that i cant apply for stuff like website, multimedia, design and analysis (stuff i find good and interesting) coz they we're expecting too much or me not ready and knowing enough, one or the other. yeah so what can i do... start somewhere right. yesterday after trying to help Loraine. Viv, Hosai and I went to eat at chicken man which was really nice. sis picked me up coz my parents took a walk. i got home and i think i got the cold shoulder for some reason, i get yet dont understand. ok job search here we come. this is a start! ohh... my bro wants a car for "us to share", expensive car... and maybe i help get it... hello job!? parents calling relos... tomorrow we are going to have a family prayer for my grandpa. r.i.p. new pic on the corner soon >> venture
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 7:23 PM -
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
i have time to write and guess where i am right now?! i am at uni! in the V labs! i am suppose to meet Hosai at 12ish at Y labs to help Loraine with her IWSD assignment. i kinda feel bad that i dont know anything/much and maybe not that much of a help but its cool, we will try.
i called Viv and said we shall meet at 9am and its 11pass and she is not here yet. she kept saying that if i ever go to uni to call her coz she wanna come and so i did. didnt bother calling the rest coz they are either working, looking for a job or maybe they cant be bothered coz they live far away but i txt Meb coz she finishes 11ish but she cant.
i have to start with Sunday, woke up early and i went to church with my parents at 7am then at 11 i was off to a friends outing. as planned we were suppose to watch xmen2 (which i heard is awesome) but we made our way to the city and take a look see at the "mind, body and spirit" festival. i was disappointed. you pay to get in to pay for things that are not even discounted. what a disappointment! nothing was learnt although we were very sceptic most of the time even though a few years ago i/we was into that whole thing. we enjoyed a free fairy card, looking at preety shining things, smirking at weird concepts and ideas, a couple of pamphlets, and a drum playing exibitions, but still now we know not to return. it was Teri, Bec and I at the convention and we meet Ness and Michael afterwards, we had lunch at Maccas and saw the city. the weather was appauling, windy, cold, breaks of sunlight and drizzles/sunshowers and Ness was only wearing a shirt. with the weather being a nuisance we decided to take the monorail to get to a some stores, browsed a lot at GraceBros and did the whole walk and and talk and try on things. Ness and Michael had to go and left us 3 to wander and discuss things like "no more dramas" with the exception of some much needed venting (does that make sense?) Teri's dad dropped us home, thnxs!
Monday was weird, i went to the Centrelink and got a job seeker number. i wasnt told about newstart allowance until i was looking through some booklets. i went to try and call Amali but had a busy line and i couldn't call Hosai or An (coz i think they are on it) so i headed to HMV and end up buying TLC's ooooooohhh... on the tlc tip album. after some thoughts i went back and was gonna line up again to get but i didnt, the line was long and i thought... what do i need to know, must get more details. got home and told my sis about it since she hasnt left for tafe yet and said... "so ur going on the dole"... yeah weird i might be going on it... well not exactly coz its called newstart...lol. i went online and checked it out a bit more and to see if Hosai sent me this code she needs help with but didnt. dad went with bro who played a basketball game (oh father and son bonding!) with kuya alan and kuya jeff (team) after mum did the the washing and cooking she ironed (supermum!) as she watched filo shows form TFC. me and my sis watched Sex and the City which was excellent but is gonna be season finale soon *crap*. but 24 is super amazing!!! i was wrong last time when i said it is the middle coz its actually now. if u wanna watch it, it starts again on monday as in its like a break in the middle and a whole new story will unfold, that starts next week! i love this show! i wanna be an agent! friends and malcomn in the middle was light and funny. i caught the last few minutes of buffy coz i had to do things and that thing that Xander said to Damn about not being special but being extraordinary was really nice! tonight is Gilmore Girls and CSI! yey for TV but seriously i have/am starting/ed to read more books and i forgot what i was missing out on... next is being creative and artistic and of course i have time to squeeze more exercise... "no excuses" ... i need balance!
i also spoke to Hosai last night and they explained a bit of it and so i maybe going back there next week coz my resourses ie funds are depleting. yeah that leaves today. hopefully its good and now i know the feeling of "i am here and dont have to be here thing" which is great... but the more i think about it feels the same and different (?!?!?) coz yes i am here and i am finished already "yey me", but i have a new dilemma and that is i have no income, unemployed, starting to look for a job and its scarry "help me". lol.....but as Jos said "no more excuses".
no more excuses! therefore, i will be actively looking for a job, i mean my parents know that i am scared and so does my bro and sis but they are not on my face. i mean they ask about things but not go on about it, they offer some news and such like "my friend told me and there is this thing i heard...." stuff like that, but thats being helpful. its not like "get a job NOW.... do something.....what do you think you are doing..." coz that will be pressure. i think i put more pressure on myself. last words ...."no more excuses" and that includes finding that i might be just 5'5 and about to go over the healthy body mass index (b.m.i.) test. there is absolutely no excuse for that!
ok gonna surf the web, Viv is not here yet and it is still 2 hours until i see Hosai and Loraine. ok have a super great day!
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 9:56 AM -
Saturday, May 03, 2003
after waiting, misunderstandings and going back and forth to big-w photo processing i got my pictures. i must say they looked really nice! i already placed them in a photo album and they look awesome! its like i can relive it everytime i see them, just like when i read old entries and other photos that seems like a dream.
our relos, the Tungi family, came back and thank God they are ok from the sars. my parents and I came over their house and they gave us news on how everyone are, padala, letters and pictures. as they spoke and i read the letters i felt something again, how different things are (like another world) you know... the good, the bad and all the rest. i wont go on about it... i miss everyone so much! my sisters friends are trying to make it up to her coz of what they have been doing... really bad stuff... and they really need to work that out, while my brother is becoming obsessed with this internet car game called "nitto" which is in flash and basically you build up cars and race others online. pretty cool.
while i was waiting for my photos i was reading this book called "dont sweat on the small stuff" by Richard Carlson which is really nice, so if you need self-improving it is a good read, just like "life lessons" by Dave Pelzers. i mean they are straight forward and you probably know them... it just reminds you when u forget... like i do.
i saw nahdia (next door neighbour - the amarah family - we used to play and hang out a lot during school holidays and just basically chill together - nahdia, adam and zach ) today on the way to the shops, we talked for a long time in the traffic light. it was nice sharing whats been happening, everyone gets so busy and we dont get to talk, just the occasional hello and wave (which is nice) we are growing up fast... reminds me of this thing that john says about "time, money and energy" when you're young = have energy, have time, no money when you're middle-aged = have energy, have money, no time when you're old = have time, have money, no energy.
Jan made this for me! really neat! thnxs heaps! so nice and sweet!
and....im going to see friends tomorrow maybe watch a movie or just hang out, should be good.
>> ramones - what i like about you >> foo fighters - times like these >> lillix - its about time
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 10:19 PM -
Friday, May 02, 2003
i just finished talking to hosai... lol.... first about jobs and uni but later we got into some people's sleep pattern and sleeping at 8pm even 6pm, it was soo funny... btw i wrote this a few hours ago offline....
***
this is a little recap of what happened in the last few days!
Monday was the day of my graduation! i have graduated and i am so HAPPY!!!!!!! the day started early coz we still had to clean the house and my parents to start cooking and chop food to be cooked when we get back. we left around 10:10am with An and her mum following our car to the ceremony at parra campus my whole family came! my mum, dad, brother and sister all came to see me graduate!!! we got there around 10:50 coz we couldnt find parking. An and me saw Viv when we got out of our car and told our family to see us in the grass area while we ran to get out togas, cloakes and hood (very harry potter as we all mentioned) while lining we saw Meb and took a pic. we then came back to see our family and took heaps of pictures. my Bro and Sis got me a graduation bear! thanks! then we started to walk down to the ceremony room. (An gave me an extra ticket so my whole family get on.... so yey! and thanks). there we saw Meb, Jos, Amali, Sherwin and Harry. We got in and the ceremony started, although no camera was allowed, everyone used it. I was very EXCITED when it was time for me to get my testamur but urghhhh.........my named was said wrong and i got annoyed but its all over now. Got out and had tea and bisquits in th tents and saw Jeline serving and said our hellos. my parents waited a while ti'll they couldnt wait for me anymore coz they need to get home and cook for a little family party that night. I asked An and her mum if I could get a lift and wait for me and they said "yes" so yey! and thanks again! waited in the line with Viv and Amali to get professional pictures and saw Jos who is already finished and left to eat with family and Basam said hello too. later Hosai and Meb came, we took pics! its so nice that Hosai came to see us! (she'll be graduating next sem). the line was long and we finally finished the pics. we got out and took more pics....me, Viv, Meb, An, Amali, Sherwin had our last pic where we threw the hat up and stuff like that. we then ran to return our outfits, the once packed area was now nearly deserted... we were the last one to leave. Hos took a few cam inteviews and we ran to the souvenir tents and got some more memorabilias before saying our goodbyes and head home. An and her mum drove us home and it took so long coz of the peak traffic but it was alright... i just sat there and relaxed. got home took 2 more headache tablets and ate before helping get the party ready. the family party was really NICE!!!
::family::: the casipit family >> uncle pedio, auntie josie, kuya joel and his girlfriend pinky and son jemil, kuya jeff and his wife felicity, uncle jaime and tita ria but (tito paing is overseas ) soriano family >> uncle boy and auntie tita plus all my cousins kuya alan, kuya loui, jhay-r, aleta, ian, jon-jon and adrian eslava family >> ate marlyn (but kuya conrad was working) cabrerra family >> uncle tom, auntie puring, jessica and sandra peralta family >> uncle manny and auntie norma, steven and gilbert only one missing who are in the phils for holidays is the tungi family >> ate brenda, kuya percy, jet, russle, jaime ::friends::: madriaga family >> just tita mila macale family >> tita deth and tito rhey and lola melencion family >> tita esper abd tito dodong and baby charlene.
i think that was all of us. thats the small party... our family is kinda big... and i got gifts that i actually wanted. my Mum and Dad cooked 98% of the food which was yumm and thanks so much for throwing the party for me and the family that and friends that came! they left around 9:30pm coz of work tomorrow and the cleaning up was kinda quick and easy. Jos and Meb then called me about tuesday.
Tuesday i meet Jos and Viv in the station and meet Amali and Meb at Town Hall near the florist (Hosai and Sherwin couldnt come). we walked around the city while we chatted, had lunch. We then took the Captain Cook Harbour Cruise (2000 named boat) around 3pm and it was AMAZING!!! we had tea, coffee and biscuits and cakes in the liner while we saw rich people's houses (tour guided) and took pics on the deck and enjoyed the ride and fresh air! We were about to go to the the museum but it was closing early so we just watched this street performer which was cute and funny. where they move when you drop money for them. we walked all the way to circular quay, it was getting dark and "workers" we're going home and all the lights where lit. meb tripped in this dark alley but was ok and we stopped by at maccas for the toilet. we finally got there, sat close to the water. we then decided to head home but i wanted us to talk more and reflect so i suggested to sit on those little cafes and have a smoothie or ice cream or something but Viv wanted to get home. we then walked back to Town Hall and said goodbye to Amali whose train came early then Meb who jumped into the wrong train followed by Viv when we got to our station then Jos when we dropped her at her place. yeah, we saw esver too but jos got a lift with me coz we havent seen each other for a while.
got home and family asked what we did and stuff. i got so tired and my feet hurt. watched bituin and slept.
i wanted to talk to my friends about the future and reality check and stuff. we did a bit but not as a whole group coz we we're mostly in 2's and 3's during the day talking about stuf we've been up to and stuff we like so that was cool enough. but it was a really great day! thanks guys!!!!
Wednesday slept in and go on the net.... lazy day.......
Thursday Meb came over and showed me some grad pics which was neat and get ps7.
Friday Charlene stayed with us just for today! COOL FUN!!! Carla babysat her and they went to the shops to get her something, look around and develop my films but i wont see it ti'll sat1pm. she's grown up! shes like a little girl now... walking and running... wow!!! Kevin just got home, he was suppose to be in Wollonggong for a weekend basketball tournament and will be back tomorrow but they lost and came home today instead. mum and dad finished their walk and i finished cleaning my bit so they are doing theirs. bro and sis went to see emma a jelene to hang out. i'll post this later when i go online. im quite tired from the cleaning so excuse the many mistakes..... later!
+ Blaque - I wanna be the one + B2k - Why I Love You
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 8:58 PM -
Thursday, May 01, 2003
woah! how cool is this! Janice was partly inspired by my page for her nu layout! way neat! Meb dropped by to show me some grad pics and i gave her a copy of ps7 while An sent me a few digital pics too! i cant wait to develop mine! here some of An's pics she sent me.
this is me and my friends throwing out hats!!!
An and I just before the ceremony
and i wanna meet some friends to get a copy of theirs... trade and share pics outing, thats an idea -or- maybe scan them then email it to me *hint-hint* lol
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 6:07 PM -
about
arvin. filo. sydney. aquarius. I.T. graduate and this is a place for my rant, rave, vent, outlet, thoughts, accounts, creative space, etc. ie web log / blog. since feb02'.
destination nextchapter ~ sin love x art stuffGuest BookPast LayoutsArchivesDisclamerFan Site
more to come...
""
