i am troubled, yet im still here bludging and still not doing enough work to catch up!
i dont know. is it okay to be honest? coz sometimes people cant handle honesty. actually i want people to be honest with me nad not be some fake person or lie, i tell the person the truth if they piss me off or i if am happy with them or when they ask a question....
people get pissed off if someone is being honest...i dont ......i feel bad when somene tell me somethnig bad about me but at least it is the truth, i sit down and think about it and their view and me....then i act........one thing is also about jugement but i'll say more about that later
but sometimes when i know the person is a bit fragile and not in the mood, i still the truth, but i have to sugar coat it.....
there is no point lying or being fake..........just get over that and be true, being honest means ----- u dont have to remember all ur lies and get caught.....(got that somewhere) i am not saying that u should not lie or that i dont lie, but i tell the truth most of the time, its easier and better......
and for some reason i like things in the open, not being cooped in someones' feeling or head.....i did that and it droveme crazy so i just say it and let them know
this does that mean i am an open book, no, there is so much more about a person and about me.....at least im not a closed book.........guarded with a lock and key......
most of these things i say might not be for everyone, but at least be honest most of the time!
other times all u can do is lie or what they call white lie....thats cool....
i feel bad for ever judging people....i mean i do that, but i want to stop.... especially when i am making pressumptions, but sometimes i have to say what i think.....and thats judgement......is that ok
its bad, yet i cant help it, i just make sure that i dont judge too fast and hastely and that i make sure or try to see their point of view or step in their shoes.......then maybe i have an inkling on what they are thinking.....
there is no point of being narrowminded, coz one day. u will swallow what u say or live with ur mistake........be open minded and listen to what others have to say, u dont have to belive them, just listen and think and try and see where they are getting at......maybe u will learn something, or it can be a waste of time, but at least u cared enough to listen...........
i am not saying listen all the time even though u dont care, u dont have to let the burden of the world engulf ur being, but all i can say to end this circle of ideas is dont worry! be happy!
i hope that makes a bit of sense....
i have to go! people to see! places to explore!
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Sunday, April 28, 2002
lisa 'left-eye' lopes from tlc died, i could not believe it, they are the best! so tragic and she was a really cool, great person and artist, i feel sad.... r.i.p. lisa!
left-eye wrote/rap this for waterfalls!
I seen a rainbow yesterday But too many storms have come and gone Leavin' a trace of not one God-given ray Is it because my life is ten shades of gray I pray all ten fade away Seldom praise Him for the sunny days
And like His promise is true Only my faith can undo The many chances I blew To bring my life to anew Clear blue and unconditional skies Have dried the tears from my eyes No more lonely cries My only bleedin' hope Is for the folk who can't cope Wit such an endurin' pain That it keeps 'em in the pourin' rain Who's to blame For tootin' caine in your own vein What a shame You shoot and aim for someone else's brain You claim the insane And name this day in time For fallin' prey to crime I say the system got you victim to your own mind
Dreams are hopeless aspirations In hopes of comin' true Believe in yourself The rest is up to me and you
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Friday, April 26, 2002
didnt bother coming to uni today....trying to give myself a long weekend.....lol...yeah...im just lazy.......i hate getting ready and getting there.....i wish i can blink and be ready and there already......
i just said uni, now i have to try and do something this wekend! please let me get something done.....uni work....ok forget that for now.....
drats, i wanna go...too late no more tickets, ohh...i gave my tickets away...lol....i wish i came, "insatiable", sisters dance group is competing tonight! it must be awesome plus there is other perfromances as well as dancing/disco after the comp!!!!! i wish they win!!!!!!
dont know much people there so i had no one to hang with and to travel there and back will be spastic again, coz people might get retarted when i ask.....and im not bringing the car there....cant park.....no insurance....blah...someone will cam it so its cool!!!!! i get to see it later...hope they tape it right!
and also wanna plug my brothers basketball team "hoopaholics", hope they get in the semis! wohoooo!!!!
good luck to all of them!
ummm...so guess who has no extra-curricular activities....ME...i need to do something...anyone got ideas!!!!!!
i have to go, parents going crazy, coz bro/sis might call and want to get pick up......later......hello.....isnt there a dance party after the competition...its only 11....ok...bye!
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Thursday, April 25, 2002
Sometimes, I canít get over things and I canít stop thinking about it. I hate when that happens and I become obsessed and I start to feel redundant and challenged. I have noticed that I think I have some impulsive compulsive behaviour. My head is so blank right now and I canít be bother thinking. Give me a break.
Now last night was another excellent time with friends. Viv , Jos , Mariebel and I went to this Panda (Chinese) restaurant (Viv loves pandas) that we have been trying to get to for a while, but was always postponed. Well we talked, bonded, laughed, ate great food and had a great time. So cool! I was so full and when I got home my family waited for me to eat dinner together and I had to eat like I am so hungry as to not disappoint them. I had a stomach ache afterwards but it was all worth it, so nice for them to wait for me.
One of our discussions at uni was betrayal and losing friends and sabotaging each other. Kinda mean but we had a big rant at all those people who donít realise that they are so fake and careless. And raved on how we are and have become so close.
Ps. I am banned to the book of shadows coz I write there to much. I canít write on it for a whole week, thatís ok I donít mind. Iíll just right in the fellowship of the shell rings blog.
I should stop, my dad is mowing the lawn and I need to help or get yelled at again. My sis, cousin, Aleta, and her dance group are practising for tomorrowís performance, bro is just watching and making some constructive comments while Jeff, another cousin is coaching them. Mum is cleaning cooking washing or something, btw its Anzac day public holiday. Yeah I need to stop this, bye!
Hey there! I am ready to talk about the great time I had at AnĎs party and it was so nice to get out at night and just chill and party with friends in the city. I have not done this for a very long time and I needed that night so much. It was so fun!
People I mostly I spoke to was Florabelle, Sharon and of course An. A few other people like Monica, Margaret, Chris and Sue. The others I didnít talk to at all except for the occasional smile like Victoria and her boyfriend, Helen, Karen, Jen and all the other guys and girls, she invited 21 people including her boss from work.
After the meal we walked out and just had a breather after dinner, which was hot. Me, Flo and Sharon walked up the street and back and visited an adult/sex shop, such an experience we were just there looking at all these stuff. I wonít say much about, itís those things where you have to be there. lol
After the delish food, we took a while to decide where to go and settled to a club called, Home, coz itís the closes to the station. We had to detour to this guys, Chris, apartment coz he wasnít dressed for the club (need a homie look), he is so set up, with 400$week rent, nice stuff and IT person, travelled a few countries already and he looked like our age, probably older like 26 or something Well he had drinks at his house and we had some , he kinda showed off. Yeah blah.
We got to the club and these people wanted to get drinks first at HomeBar so we said ok, well just go to Daintree while trendy, Monica, needed to meet her clan, she has these clubbing friends, who are ready to go in a heartbeat. Me, Flo and Sharon danced and had a few drinks at Daintree, which was awesome coz the music is rnb and yeah by the time we know it we were late at the meet up. The drinkers were still drinking and the others went in the club already, we called them up coz it was kinda a waste to enter the club 25$ for 40 minutes so we decided to head home and had our goodbyes with the partiers. We took the last train to west, we waited for nearly an hour at maccas b4 the train arrived and just chatted all the way back home. Got home at 3, my little sis picked me up a the station. Had a great time! It was so good seeing everyone again specially An, Flo and Sharon! I donít think I can do that every night, really tiring especially the walking around. All in all its rocks!
hey! public holiday! yeah....cool....enjoyin' myself...hope u all are too! let me get back to total relaxation...lol
and also pay my repect to all the ANZACs......
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Tuesday, April 23, 2002
teachers help a lot in the ablily to learn and take things in, yes just like today, i have this tutor and its so hard to understand him and he has an accent and he is not even enthusiastic when he teach if he does well i cant feel the enthusiasm, so me and my my friends just try and write some notes and pass this book around where we write stuff......its cool......but the lecturer for the same subject is tomorrow and she is so animated and great, so its really cool !
im still at uni with my uni friends mariebel, viv and jos......were doing this lab. so its kinda good, its like teamwork even though its suppose to be individual work.....
yeah im feeling so much better feeling really happy and everything....i feel lik i can do anything and survive anything.....its 7pm and still at uni...i left for uni at around 10 am...
jos and me and viv at a long lunch were talking about the great 80's the music the movies and tv shows and stufff.....yeah they were less image conscious/related and not very sexually explicit and very raw and real.....and now everything becoming plastic and fake......is that our fault, did we involve into that pop culture or are they shoving things in our brains, hypnotyzing us......
the crossroads movies, well its not a complete waste of 10$, although the acting and story is very typical and not that great, the message that i like is overprotected and being in the transition in ur life where u are not sure about many thing, being true to urself and having the friends u make and a family that suppoorts you......so those are the themes that i like.....ok...too sopppy. but its true....
tell you about An's party later on!....later!
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Saturday, April 20, 2002
your flavor is oO Natural Oo
Congratulations, you slacker. You're laid-back, relaxed and, well, natural. Sensible and down-to-earth, you let very few things bother you.
hey all, i had such a great time at An's Party....HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY AN !!!!!!!!!!!! it was the best, i had so much fun!!!! it was so cool!!!!!! tell u all the details later.....
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Friday, April 19, 2002
its 8 am friday morning, i decided that i am not going to uni today coz i have a party to attend tonight......its An's 21 st from JP2 if u guys remember her, the only other people that i will see and talk to would be probably be Sharon Singh and Florabelle, i hope they come, also other people would be Victoria, Karen, Margaret, Monica.....yeah, but im not very cummy with them, its this restaurant at the city close to central or next to QVB i have no idea how to get there and i dont know what time we will meet.....i can not not go coz its An's 21st and i dont want to disappoint her, i have to go, i want to go, but a little piece of me is i asking that, do u really wan to go? for sure i do, but the question is said in a sarcastic stupid tone, im just wacked....yeah..i want to go for her and for me...to have fun and see some old friends....too
watched crossroads with my uni friends yesterday, its ok. that is all i can say about it, they put too much story in it, they try and make it complicated and most of the isues has been done before and the acting is ur typical teen movies, ok yet, candy like, but i guess it enteratined me for a while, but for some reason i can never get a way from reality, i dont sit there and let it drown me, most of the time it does though - i get swept away in the place and time and it feels so weird and so good, but then i start thinking about me and how its effect and relate to me and the whole scheme of things and that leds to me just thinking about my life completely...not all sad though...and by the time i know it im flying and feeling like the actors and im back to being swept away......urghhhhh...... but thats just me....
yeah i have to get some cleaning done b4 i get out tonight and i also learnt how to access my directory at uni from home...so i can get a lot of work...yey..happy happy joy joy....and do some studying this weekend......wish me luck
i had this bad dream as wel....for some reason i was at england studying and the queen and a few celebrety was in this underground tunnel where i got there by fly running and we all went to see her and i saw my family and friends and some people who i dont know from uni...and then suddenly it became prayer thing and said that if i dont change or do something, i dont know about being nice or spiritual and giving or something, i will be taken by the evil and die.....i felt so scared and sad and i started saying i love u to everyone.......then we started to fix and do the precautions for me not to die and be taken over online and all of the sudden i woke up.......and i also remeber this lady using her glass earing to decide what should happen (like tossing the coin) and it shattered in the ground , and i started laughing....while they were picking it up....i didnt help pick it up........weird.....and rhen the whole prayer thing started......yeah creppy.....no idea what about....ok
that is all....ti'll next time....
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Wednesday, April 17, 2002
just finished reading some notes and writing in the shellrings book, which i have tonight.......im tired, everytime i get home from uni, i have a massive yummy dinner, watch some good tv and feel tired and end up going to sleep. the routine for the last 2 weeks, kinda bad, i dont study, exercise, or anthing else basically, i should change this b4 i become a whale who has no brain and as interesting as a dirty carpet.
i felt some sad today......really pissed and angry and sad, until my friends came......their the best....CA is not that bad now......i can do it!!!!! yey!!!!! roya got the job......awesome!!!! i heard mariebel will be getting her brand nu car 2day!!!!!!! i think
song im really liking: tweet - oops and the calling - wherever u will go.
need some sleep...i have class at 9am tomorrow....
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 11:02 PM -
remember this show !!!! so cool!!!!! the good old days, i was still in juniur high school when it came on......uhhhhhhh......*remeniscing*
Wake up in the mornin' Feelin' shy and lonely Gee, I gotta go to school I don't think I can make it Don't think I can take it A'wonderin' what I'm gonna do But when I look around, I see That someone is smiling right at me Wait! That someone's talkin' to me Hey! I've got a new friend Everybody can succeed All you need is to believe And be honest with yourself Forget your fears and doubts Come on! Give us a try At Degrassi Junior High!
ive been felling depress lately and i cant seem to shake it off and reading this makes a big difference!!!!
The moral lesson: In life, there are enough times when we are disappointed, depressed and annoyed. We don't really have to go looking for them. We have a wonderful world that is full of beauty, light and promise.
Why waste time in this world looking for the bad, disappointing or annoying when we can look around us, and see the wondrous things before us? I believe that we are happiest when we see and praise the good and try our best to forget the bad. Nobody's perfect but we can find perfection in them to change the way we see them.
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Monday, April 15, 2002
im actually here and i have not done this for a while, i mean properly. i have been in a roller coaster this week i dont know, its really up and down, one minute im so happy the next im so sad
*happy - finally finished my assessments (test/quiz/assignments/etc.) - everything is great in general
*sad - CA prac (im so bad at this subject, i am so clueless, and its the second time i am doing this...grrrr) - IWSD quiz (i thought i was gonna do very well and then i got the score and i just barely passed, i felt so disappointed especially when u fell so confident about it.....viv and jos had the same thing) - i waited for the train for half an hour and the bus for half an hour last friday night and i want a ride (on the other hand mariebel is getting her new car soon! so cool! she wont tell us when she'll bring it or what the type of car it is....so we cant wait to see it and ride it!!! shes such a tease.lol) - i feel so bad for homeless/poor people, i see them scavaging food and looking at the floor and trashand my heart sinks so bad...i wanna do something for them once i get a job, volunteer/donate or something ( dont get me started with strayed and wild animals and also 3rd world countries)
yeah the weekend is so productive, a lot of sleeping and eating and resting........
i looked at my calendar for this week and i see that i have nothing due but, then i realise i have some stuff due like pracs and little test and projects.....urgggghhhh....
its my bro and sis 2 week break for the term.......i wanna break!!!!....lol....i just had one.....
ps. my uni. friends made this new name for me......arvain....for some unknown reason they think i am vain!!?!!?!?! ....not sure.....i just play with it....its funny!!!! ps. famous lefties like me! aren't we the best!!!
hey got to split...stay cool and be real !!!!!
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Friday, April 12, 2002
hmmm. sorry but i am so tired, i will do this tomorrow. ok night all! the week of stress and assessments for uni is finished, i can sleep in tomorrow that sounds good... night! ps. tell u everthing later...
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Monday, April 08, 2002
yey!!!!!!!! i finished o.o.p. ass q1 and q2, now just have to do q3 later or tomorrow thanks to amali, and specially beenish who is so smart at java and credits to hosai for bringing beenish to help her for sp1 but she also helped me!!!!! i have to teach f.l.a to hosai later coz we had no time left today, they actually left already, i stayed coz i was nearly finished so i said might as well finish it now. it was ok, and i learned a lot.....lol yeah tonight i have to study f.l.a. ........lots of coffeeeeee ....??? coffee or coke.....lol yeah and watch, so much on tonight, alias, friends, malcolm in the middle, sex and the city, the practice, 6 feet underground, weakest link......arghhhh!!!!.....lol... of course not, im not a tvholic. got to catch a bus to the station (free coz its late, thanks to the university,i think) catch a train and call home to get picked up from the station.....hmmmmm night night people.....
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 6:29 PM -
ok i am suck a loon i wrote all these stuff and it just completely disappered, grrrrrr.....
ok what did i say,
well i was saying a big hello and plug Dana who is so cool! with a reallty cool site. and i wanna say that the thing that happened and its "over and done with - its all good" as Sonja said, and its cool....
and i have so much assessments this week its not even funny.... so...wish me luck!!!!!
also was plugging all my uni friends but i'll do that later coz i have stuff no and meet people.....
ps. the band thing...i cant belive someone is looking for a member.....cool....i'll get back to u as soon as i can!!!!!!!!
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 12:08 PM -
Saturday, April 06, 2002
i already apologised to the host as well, i am so sorry kirstie, i had no idea, all about it. i want to get over this, i know now plus apologies and comments has already been said. please. lets leave it at that... thanks.
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 11:45 AM -
Friday, April 05, 2002
i wanna apologise to sonja, i feel really bad for what i did i would have never done it, if i knew. i had no idea about the whole bandwidth thing, so sorry...
::::: Arvin was distracted @ 10:22 PM -
Thursday, April 04, 2002
we went to watch TFC (the filipino channel) at my cousins place (mum is a fan of rico) and it was Rico Yan's funeral, this 27 year old actor from phils who died so sudddenly (he didnt wake up), i had tears in my eyes when they opened the casket for the last time for the family to say goodbye, its so hard, the feeling of never going to see someone you love in general, that made me feel depress and the guy Rico was so nice, fun and a great entertainer and personality, its sad that he died so young with so many great things still ahead of him, and plans he made to help people like the disadvantaged youths.
that scene reminded me of my grandpa's funeral, we saw in a video tape (we were not able to go overseas, just my dad and uncle and auntie) it made me cry.
we learn things daily - this reminds us things, those people you love and care for will not always be there and how precious life is and how the time you have is little and to make the most of it.
d&m: i love and so gratefull for my life, my family and friends and this amazing world we live in. Trust in God
on a lighter note i have been stuffing my mouth with easter eggs, for some reason we have so much on the cupboard, the frige, the table. and this cheesecake that my dad bought is so nice! yeah i will be so busy and stressed this weekend and the next whole week. arghhh! panic... no i will not stress out, i can do this! wish me luck!!!
ps. watch big brother 2! cant wait to see it. last years was so good! pss. after all these assessments i will post new pics of hanging around campus and my little cousins and etc.
its all for u - if you really want it its all for u - if you really need it ~janet
ohhh this could be messy ohhh u dont seem to mind dont go telling everybody ...... we'll fast forward to a few years later no one knows except the both of us ~alanis
tworkin' it out lets twor it out just me on you i know u like it when i do u like that just twork it out ~usher
i just realize some of the stuff i write is kinda off. i mean they kinda make no sense coz of bad grammar, words left out, mispelling. so i know i'l be more careful 4 now. i havent printed my notes yet, im so bludgging so much! yet so much 2 do! roya and hosai called me last night and we were talking about so many things due when we get back form the break. got to start something!!! but for some reason i keep thinking i'll get it done eventually. yeah, the four friends project is underway! new layout and addded some cool stuff too! cant wait! on the other side, i have been having fun with just surfing and doings i LIKE it, so thats cool, i have made a lot of ME time lately, i wish i can get out more often, i wanna party! but need some $$$ for that, and im lacking of that. hmmmm.....i should get a job. talking about a job, my cousin joel called me this morning and said that AOL is looking for a new batch of people, customer service - helpdesk stuff, wow! i wish i can go, its a great stepping stone / experience. but i am doing 5 subjects this semester and still not coping so thats a problem... i want it! he said to think about doing uni. part time next sem... no idea about that... well he'll email me about stuff later (he knew it from his gf's sis or something i think - talk about connections). thanks joel! its great when someones looking out for me. cool. mmm, gonna go clean up, eat lunch, print & organize notes, watch tv, play age of empires and maybe study and also blog on friends. yeah busy bee me... geez got disconnected...i hate when while ur doing the last thing you get dc chill arvin...ok posted! thats cool! thank u for you time!
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Wednesday, April 03, 2002
You have no idea, for once i feel so good and feel very energitic, weird huh? That's cool, i am happy! I just finished downloading all my notes and now just have to print them and start learning them soon. There is not much to say since all day i basically just downloaded all my notes and organize them in folders, i am trying to organize myself or i'll be lagging behind again. The mariebel letter thing is fine, not that bad as i thought. I have this idea where i want to make a band or group and perform and stuff like that it will be cool, we will travel around and perform and be will known and stuff, weird idea but i want to, any takers, wanna join just email me or something BTW there is this from on this site and when you insert your details and press enter, it will got to my email so thats easy enough. email me. what else... still trying to change the graphics. help! no i am happy with it, and im so busy with other stuff. ok dokes, i'll write more later
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Tuesday, April 02, 2002
i just added 2 things to my page....chatter box and note pad by www.flooble.com, so easy to set up ! it is so cool.....thanks michelle !!! (from my links) yeah i just bascially did some quizes. a lot....i should be studying.... lol....oh well btw i am still waiting for a reply from mariebel. hummmm...ok
Your personality is actually determined by two personality sub-types ó your primary, or dominant sub-type, and your secondary sub-type. You are a Rock Star which means you are a Success / Seeker. Your primary sub-type is defined by "Success" characteristics and your secondary sub-type is defined by "Seeker" characteristics.
That means you crave attention, the limelight, and the fawning admiration of millions. Chances are you have a bevy of fans and friends, and you like knowing how much others appreciate you. On top of this, you're a go-getter and you really shine under pressure.
How do we know all this? How do we know that you believe in making a good impression? How could we have divined that you have to love what you do, or else your performance slips?
Because while you were taking the test, you answered four different types of questions ó questions that measured confidence, apprehension, willingness to take risks, and your focus on experience versus appearance ó the primary traits that determine your personality. Based on your responses, we determined your personality type, Rock Star.
arvin, you're a Rock Star!
Did you know?
People are impossibly attracted to you wherever you go ó whether or not you know it or not. There's something about the confidence you emit through your actions, conscious and otherwise, that compels people to want to come in for a closer look.
Learn more about your personality type and find out other amazing things unique to you when you purchase your full 10-page Report, waiting for you now at Emode! Get your Ultimate Personality Report delivered instantly online. The information could change your life! See a Sample
And that's just scratching the surface. Want to know where your larger-than-life, confident outlook may have come from?
yeah i just got mail from mariebel about amali and i being involve for some reason. ok thats all i'll say... i just emailed her back yeah i felt so depress this weekend that i was kinda thinking about me being dead will solve everything, but i got over it, thank God yeah and people came to our house, relos and stuff, pretty fun... also my friend paulo, around 9pm called and said that hes got a surpised and he came with shannon (paulo and shannon are highschool friends) and they were driving paulo's new rav4 car, WOW, so cool!!! yeah and so we drove to the city and back, detour at maccas for evening snack, not my idea, i felt like getting out of the car when i saw those people lining out of the clubs, p.s. paulo is not a club person. yeah it was cool anyway, caught up with whats happening with their world and i wanna thanks viv and also jos for helping me figure out this thing at photoshop thanks! and mariebel for the email when i was sick, thanks! ps. please check out my highschool friends group blog click here so cool!!! hope everyone had a great Easter !!! and a well deserved long weekend break !
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arvin. filo. sydney. aquarius. I.T. graduate and this is a place for my rant, rave, vent, outlet, thoughts, accounts, creative space, etc. ie web log / blog. since feb02'.
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