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Wedgie Stories
These stories were taken fromWorld Wide Wedgie

Little J's First Wedgie
I was 15 and it was my first summer as a day camp counselor. For some reason, there are certain kids who I considered more wedgie-able than others did, and I would spend a few days trying to figure out how to get them. "Little J" was one of those kids -- he was 8 years old, maybe 70 pounds, always wore jeans with his shirt tucked in, and somehow just looked like he needed to have a nice big hike of the briefs. Well, it turns out I didn't have to wait long for the opportunity -- it just slapped me (or splashed me) in the face. I was swimming with the campers one day and for some reason he stayed out of the pool fully clothed -- I think he forgot his swim suit -- but he still wanted to get wet, so he begged me to throw him in the water, yelling "Please please please! My mom won't be mad if you throw me in, only if I jump in myself!" but I was skeptical so I yelled back "Yeah, right! You just want to get me in trouble!" and he yelled "No, I promise!" so then he squatted down next to me (I was in the pool standing next to the edge) and started splashing water in my face. Well, as we all know, there's only one way to deal with such behavior, but I also had an idea, so I grabbed him and sat him down on the deck, turned him around so his back was to me, pulled his body over the water but kept his legs on the deck, and dipped the backside of his jeans into the pool, just enough so it looked like he peed his pants while sitting in a chair. Step one complete. I put him back on the deck and yelled "Ha! How old are you? Aren't you potty trained yet?!?" as he went running into the locker room, embarrassed. About 2 minutes later I figured it was time for step two, so I got out of the pool, went into the locker room and saw "Little J" trying to dry his butt off with a towel, so I grabbed him again and said "Here, let me help you with that," sat down on a bench, laid him face down across my lap, asked him "Is your underwear wet also?" and without giving him a chance to respond I untucked his shirt, got a good hold of his now sopping wet briefs, and hiked. He yelped and squeaked and jerked around, but I held onto him and hiked some more -- since his underwear was wet it kind of stuck to his butt so I had to hike a little harder, but I knew that once hiked it was wedgied up there good. He grunting, Uhhhhh" and "Ahhhhh," nothing comprehensible really, and he was struggling and reaching around to try and unwedgie himself, so I said "What? I'm helping you dry off! Geeze, this is a thankless job!" and kept on hiking away, ultimately getting his wet briefs about 1/2 way up his back. I figured at this point step two was complete. Just for show I pretended to dry off his underwear a bit, but then I let him go, gave him back the towel, and said, "OK finish drying yourself" but I wouldn't let him go to another area of the locker room to unwedgie himself -- instead I spent the next few minutes sitting back to enjoy the show, which I have to admit was the best part of this whole wedgie session: watching him squiggle and squat and squirm, probe and pick and pull, trying to fix his Wet Wedgie, which I doubt he was fully able to do before going home that evening. What is it about watching an 8-year-old do everything he can to unwedgie himself....? Well, I didn't have another opportunity to wedgie "Little J" again until three full years later, but that's the *next* story... :-)




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