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TWS-NewsTicker: OJ Simpson is on trial again... Simpson allegedly stabbed Johnnie Cochran in the bathroom. OJ has a difficult case against him however his team of lawyers remain strong. Leading the defence is Johnnie Cochran. TWS-NewsTicker: Stock market report looks bad... after much investigation The Web Site has traced difficult finantial times to Scott Norwood's wide right kick in Super Bowl 25, another reason for him to kill himself. TWS-NewsTicker: Dan Dan the idiot... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... tim TWS-NewsTicker: Osama Bin Laden has no penis, thats right he is a penisless fag TWS-NewsTicker: The news ticker! It's scrolling, it's news! it's everything but true! TWS-NewsTicker: Does time really exist? Why are we here? This and other facinating questions answered! Where? I don't know... we will keep you informed. TWS-NewsTicker: Don't stop, no please don't stop, I need it, give it to me!!! TWS-NewsTicker: Aerosmith is now touring with STP after selling out to every form of pop music that has come along Steven Tyler says "We Just do what we like... and it happens to change every year to the thing that is most popular... now no good popular artist talk to us" STP is doing what every up and coming band does 5 years later when they are about to fade away for all time, doesn't matter Scott Weiland will be in rehab soon enough. TWS-NewsTicker: Puff Daddy has rechanged his name, it is now officially "I'm black" TWS-NewsTicker: Triumph the Insult Comic dog is coming out with a new cd... Triumph, your cd will be just as good as everything else you have done!     For me to poop on! TWS-NewsTicker: Jurasic 5, "The best show on earth!!!" no, they suck, I hope they are shot. TWS-NewsTicker: Who's STP anyways???

In The News this Week |Past News Articles|

Bush Presidency under fire! He was actually black

This stunning announcement explains many problems with George W Bush...

Written by The Web Site
Washington DC, September 4, 2002

George W Bush made a very suprising announcement today. He was for a long portion of his life African American. This followed a press converence when he was harshly questioned about wearing very large pants. These pants were a size 44 pair of fubu denim jeans. After editor and chief of the Washington Hair Transplant Magazine for People Who are Going Pubicaly Bald questioned George Bush, Bush said "I am sorry, I am black, but hey! at least I'm not Osama!".
Wondering how this would affect the government a USSR Today journalist asked if this would change his biggited anti black views. To this Bush only laughed and after a long silence finished the interview saying "Well, no... I know what we are like, and if I kept getting money in the mail, I wouldn't work either. It's just a matter of strategery!"
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