"like sands through the hourglass so are the...Days of our Lives"

Christyne's

"The Teens" Fan Fiction Site

With his heart racing, Brady ran down the docks until, completely breathless he collapsed and fell to his knees. Gasping for air, hunched over, he fought the overwhelming guilt he felt for having taken Belle to the train tracks. It was his fault. If he hadn’t been an idiot and stood on the tracks as the 1st train came, Belle wouldn’t have done it and she would be all right. Even though he physically didn’t hurt her, he couldn’t tell anyone what happened. Every time someone asked something inside him froze, they’d blame him anyway. Oh hell he blamed himself.

Yesterday everything had looked great for Belle. The doctors had been very optimistic that she would wake up but today Belle had stopped breathing, they were forced to put her on a respirator. She wasn’t coming out of the coma like they had predicted.

He had wanted, needed, to see her to tell her how much she meant to him, that he loved her. She had told him that she loved him but he couldn’t get the words out to tell her he loved her  too, he needed to tell her before oh god don’t let her die.

Marlena wouldn’t let him into the room. He hated her; she always stood in the way between those he loved. She was wrong, why did she hate him so much to think that he would purposely hurt Belle. Belle was the one person who he loved and who loved him unconditionally. There was no one like Belle. Belle who was named after his mother. Now he might lose Belle too without even getting to see her. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like some giant hand was squeezing his heart, cutting off his oxygen. He squeezed his eyes shut and allowed the hot tears to flow.

Suddenly, very unpredictably he felt a hand on his shoulder; he inhaled a sharp shaky breath and looked up at the person who dared to intrude on one of his weakest moments.

Chloe had been walking along the docks, thinking of her feelings for Philip and worrying over Belle, when she heard the anguished sounds of someone in pain.

She headed in that direction and saw a dark shape collapsed against one of the wooden pilons. His blond hair illuminated by the full moon. She realized it was Brady Black. Her heart went out to him, knowing he especially, was suffering over what had happened to Belle. For some reason seeing him cry with such intense anguish felt like someone had stuck a knife in her heart. She couldn’t stop herself from kneeling down beside him and gently touching his shoulder.

Almost immediately he turned and glared at her, icy blue eyes shimmering, trails of tears on his face.

Her heart constricted with a strange pain, instinctively, without thought her hand went to his face and she stroked the tears away.

That one feathery gently touch and the immense sympathy he witnessed in Chloe’s eyes did Brady in. After weeks of keeping his emotions in check, intending to lash out at the person who invaded his space, Brady could do nothing to stop the helpless rage and uncontrollable guilt from welling up in him. Overwhelmed, he drew a ragged breath and brought his hands up to cover his face. Immense sympathy at Brady’s pain flooded Chloe. She put her arm around his shaking shoulders and stroked the blond hair as heart wrenching sobs racked his body.

She drew him close putting her face on his shoulder and whispering that Belle was strong and would survive this. She held him for a long time.

Eventually, aside from sniffing once in a awhile, Brady quieted.

There was a part in him that didn’t want to move, never wanted to move, to stay like this forever. Chloe's head on his shoulder, her arms wrapped around him offered him a warmth and comfort he had never known or at least not remembered. He felt wanted, cared for. But he knew it was just an illusion and this feeling was making him very vulnerable. He didn’t want to feel vulnerable, he always got hurt when he let his guard down.

So wearily he lifted his head, angrily wiping away the tears, embarrassed that Chloe had witnessed him losing it.

Yet glancing over at her, he saw nothing but kindness in her eyes. It almost choked him up again.

Not trusting himself to speak just yet, he took her hand and squeezed it in a silent thank you. She squeezed back. Together, hand in hand they sat staring out at the calm moonlit waters. Finding peace in each other’s presence.

Chloe sat on her bed, thinking back on the last few months. So much had happened.

Belle had been in a coma. Brady had been shot and paralyzed, Philip had told her he loved her. Now Belle was fine and they were better friends than ever. Brady was getting feeling back in his legs although there was still so much anger in him. She thought back to the incident when she had found him devastated by Belle's accident on the dock. That night they had somehow bonded but it hadn't lasted. He became mean and hostile to her after that, constantly insulting her singing. Just recently with Belle forcing the issue had something changed, but she wasn't sure what.

Philip was being so good to her, it felt wonderful being cherished like that. Sometimes though she wasn't sure if she felt the same way. Philip had been right when he said that her emotions were ignited by Brady, more so than they had ever been by Philip. Perhaps that was because she hated Brady and what he said made her more angry than hurt. When she had found out about the bet Philip had made it had hurt because she cared. Yes that was it. She cared for Philip, she didn't care about Brady.

She smiled when she thought about Philip. He was such a handsome guy. When he smiled at her, it made her feel so warm inside.

Immersed in his thoughts of Chloe, Philip lay on his bed. 'What to do next to impress her?' He had sang to her, he wrote the poem, he told her he was in love with her, what else was there?

If his dad were here he'd ask him but he was away on a business trip with Nicole. It was late but he'd ask his mom. He hoped she wasn't already asleep. As he went down the hall towards her bedroom he heard her voice "and from you I want that tape that proves I killed Franco destroyed, then I want you to dispose of Victor so we can be together with all his money."

Stunned, in total disbelief, Philip quietly opened the door. The figures on the bed didn't see him but he clearly saw his mother intertwined with a man he recognized as Moroni, one of the city's most notorious mob men. As if in a trance, Philip backed out of the room shutting the door.

He could hardly breath, nausea rising in him, he turned and ran out of the house into the night. He ran and ran, blindly not knowing where he was going. The cold dampness of the night seeped through him, a light dusting of wet snow slowly turned to mush under his feet. Finally out of air, he fell to his knees beside a fence. All he could do was gasp. He wrapped his arms around his knees, and put his head down exhausted. He just sat there slowly going numb. After awhile, he began to shiver.

Chloe had been asleep for hours, when something inexplicable awoke her. She walked over to the window and looked out into the night. The snow was starting to come down more heavily now, she loved the way it glistened under the lamplight. Suddenly a strange shape by the fence caught her eye. Whatever it was it didn't belong there, what was it? Did someone forget a package outside? It was covered in snow. Grabbing her robe, she tiptoed downstairs and out the door.

As she got closer fear gripped her, it looked human. Suddenly she saw a hint of gold shining in the lamplight. For a split second, she thought it was Brady but knew it couldn't be, besides the color was a shade darker than Brady's hair. Suddenly her heart leapt into her throat. "Philip?"

No response. She grabbed his shoulders and shook him, panic filling her heart. He blinked and looked up at her as if in a trance. He didn't say anything and she could tell that something was horribly wrong.

She touched his face, he was icy. "Philip how long have you been out here?" She grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet. He stumbled but with her help she got him into the house and upstairs into her room.

She pulled the comforter off the bed and wrapped it around him. He sat there, his breathing shallow. Tenderly, she stroked the dark blond hair out of his eyes. "Tell me what happened?"

She swallowed heavily. "Philip?" "Do you want me to call your parents?"

His reaction was immediate, he leapt off the bed whispering a vehement "noooo".

He looked so shaken, Chloe jumped up and wrapped her arms around him. "It's ok, shhhh it will be all right." He buried his face in her hair. He was shaking quite violently. She got him to sit back down on the bed.

He sat there shivering, his breathing now rapid as he stared at the floor. The look on his face scared her. He looked like he'd been to hell and back.

She had to get help. She left the room and got Craig. He was all sleepy, however when he entered her room and saw Philip sitting on her bed he woke up quickly. "What's going on here?"

Chloe quickly explained what had happened.

Craig sat down on the bed beside him. "Philip?" Gently he examined him, checking out his eyes, checking for broken bones, concussion.

When he got to Philip's hands, he looked worried. "He's got a touch of frostbite."

Philip's breathing became more labored and he tried to pull his hands away. "Ok, OK, easy I know it hurts a lot but that means you've got feeling in your hands and that's good."

"Chloe why don't you get a hot water bottle to warm him and bucket of luke warm water, we'll need to soak his hands in it. I'm going to call his parents to get permission to give him a shot of painkiller."

Philip yanked his hands back "No, no I don't want a shot, don't call my parents!"

Craig gripped him by the shoulders "OK CALM DOWN. If you can stand the pain, I won't call." Philip nodded. "I think it would help you a lot to take a warm shower, your shivering is getting worse. The warm water will make you feel a lot better." Philip squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth against the burning aching feeling in his hands, he almost wished he would just pass out. Anything was better than what he was feeling.

Then he felt Craig's hand on his shoulders leading him into the bathroom. If he wasn't in so much pain he would have laughed, he'd never feel better, his life just came crashing down around him. He didn't have time to reflect on that because all of a sudden someone was unbuttoning his shirt.

Gray blue eyes registering confusion turned on Craig, as he removed Philip's shirt. "It's going to be all right." Philip just shook his head.

"Does this have something to do with your parents? Is that why you don't want me to call them? You'd rather suffer this pain?"

Philip defiantly looked at Craig, then broke eye contact and nodded.

Craig sighed. Philip wasn't making it easy to be a doctor. It was hard seeing the kid in so much pain, apparently not just physically but emotionally as well.

Philip didn't want to take a shower but he felt powerless to stop all that was happening around him. After helping him out of his clothes Craig ushered him into the shower. Even with the warm water running over him he couldn't seem to stop the shivering. The image of his mother in bed with Moroni planning his fathers murder replayed itself in his head over and over again. His mother was a murderer, she killed Franco and almost let Sami be executed for it.

He felt awful, like he was going to be sick. After a couple of minutes Craig guided him out, helped him to dry off and helped him into some warm fleece garments.

Craig did his best to towel dry Philip's hair and then wrapped a thick blanket around him. His hands hurt like hell, they burned and ached, he could hardly stand it. He winced when Craig try to dry him them off. Craig was about to lead him out when with a whimper Philip dropped down to the toilet and retched. Craig stroked his back.

"Sorry Philip, I can't do much for the pain, without your parents permission all I can give you is aspirin or Tylenol and by the time that kicks in the pain will have left on its own." Craig murmured to him. "Hang in there, you'll feel better soon." He gave Philip a sip of mouthwash when he finished.

Philip didn't move, he took one shaky breath after another, tears flowing down his face unchecked.

Craig rubbed his shoulders and softly said "come on, you'll be a lot more comfortable in the bed."

Craig got him up on his feet and practically carried him back into Chloe's room. With Chloe's help they got him down on the bed and tucked the hot water bottle in with him. Taking a layer of towels Craig got him to hold his arms out and he bathed the frostbitten hands with the luke warm water that Chloe had brought.

After awhile Craig finished and put his hands back under the blankets. Concerned he stroked the hair from Philip's face and placed his hand across his forehead. "Ok Philip now listen to me, I want you to take about 20 very slow, very deep breaths, ok, start now."

Philip did hid best to comply but after awhile he became so sleepy his eyes closed and his breathing returned to normal.

Looking at Philip's pale, tear stained, face, Chloe whispered "what happened to him?"

Craig shook his head. "I don't know but he's obviously in shock. He must have suffered some kind of trauma."

He looked at Chloe, "he's going to sleep for awhile now, but come and get me if you need me. Can I trust you in here with him?"

Indignant Chloe glared at him, "Nothing’s going to happen."

Craig knew that Philip was in no condition, but he wanted the reassurance from Chloe also. He left to return back to his own bed.

Chloe climbed into bed. Philip was sleeping on his side. She curled up against his back with one arm around him.

Much much later, when the sky was starting to turn light, Chloe woke up to find Philip gone. She quickly sat up and saw his silhouette against by the window. "Philip?"

She got up and went over to him. He turned towards her a desolate look in his eyes.

She wrapped her arms around his waist. "Please tell me what's wrong." She whispered.

He put his arms around her, put his head against her hair.. "I'm sorry, I can't talk about it."

Her head snapped up, she put her hands on either side of his face, "Philip, you have got to tell me!"

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I can't." He backed away and whispered. "Thanks Chloe, for letting me stay, I have to go now."

"Are you going to be ok?"

He swallowed heavily as those blue-gray eyes turned to her. "I'm never going to be ok again." With that he turned and walked out of her room.

"No John, stop it!" you can't be a father to JT!" Hope practically yelled at John.

"I already am his father you can't change that!" John quietly responded. "No matter how much you wish we hadn't made love, we did and JT is the result of that."

Shawn's heart leapt into his throat. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had come home early because he was feeling feverish and his throat was sore. Likely the flu that seemed to be going around. He had been about to enter the house when he heard his mother and John arguing.

Not knowing what else to do, he left. JT was only his half brother? His mother slept with another man. His thoughts almost caused him to walk right into his father, who was coming up the path.

"Hey Shawn, what's your hurry?" Bo playfully punched him in the arm.

"Dad, leave me alone, I gotta go."

Concerned Bo grabbed him. "Hey whoa, what’s going on, are you all right?" Shawn looked flushed and upset.

"Just let go of me!" Shawn tried to break away but Bo just tightened his grip.

"You are obviously very upset, and you aren't going anywhere until you calm down and tell me what's up."

"Why don't you tell me? Everyone's always keeping secrets. What kind of an insane family is this?" He paused for a moment trying to get a grip on his frustration but the tight restraint on his arm brought the anger out. "Get your hands off me!" With that Shawn pushed Bo.

Slipping on the ice Bo lost his grip. Shawn took off at a run but not fast enough to get away from Bo.

"Shawn!" He grabbed his arm again. Shawn turned with his fist raised, hurt and anger blurring his rationale. Bo, without conscious thought, lashed out, backhanding Shawn hard across the face. The second it happened, Bo stepped back horrified by what he had just done. He'd never hit his son. Shawn had been thrown off balance by the blow and hit the pavement.

"Shawn" he paused, bewildered by the violence that had possessed him. "I'm so sorry, I just reacted without thinking." He reached down to help him up.

Shawn, the left side of his face stinging, looked up at his father and moved out of reach of the helping hand. He got to his feet, breathing hard in disbelief, his dark hair disheveled, hanging into his face. A lump formed in Bo's throat. Tears had welled up in Shawn's eyes and he was desperately blinking them back. He looked hurt, so disillusioned.

"Shawn D, come on son, you know that wasn't intentional, I've been attacked a lot in my life and when you raised your fist, it was a totally unconscious reaction on my part. I love you, I would never ever intentionally hurt you."

Despite the blinking, one tear welled over and ran down Shawn's face.

Bo reacted quickly, putting his arms around Shawn and hugging him. "I am so sorry." He whispered, his voice full of emotion.

For a moment, Shawn's head dropped to Bo's shoulder and a sob escaped him, then after a shaky breath, a few more. Bo held him tight, trying to comfort him by rubbing his back. But then, suddenly, Shawn tore loose and backed away. His face wet with tears, his cheek turning red, he threw Bo one last look before he ran into the forest. Bo fought the impulse to go after him. What had happened? Hopefully Hope knew. Shawn obviously needed some time to himself.

If he wasn't back by bedtime, he'd have to go looking for him.

Nearing Salem Pace, Shawn wiped away the tears. His face still hurt. He couldn't believe his father had just hit him. As if the revelation of JT only being his half brother wasn't enough. He wondered if his dad even knew. He couldn't imagine his mother withholding something like that and then marrying him. He closed his eyes to the pain. Not again, this couldn't be happening again. All the lies, all the deception. It was like the situation with Gina all over again.

Belle, he had to talk to Belle. Did she know? He was sure she didn't. How ironic, they shared a 1/2 brother. He needed to talk to her to find out if she knew the truth. He got to the penthouse, Belle let him in.

What are you doing here Shawn?" She whispered.

"I needed to talk to you, why are we whispering?"

Belle looked at him as if he were some annoying solicitor at her door. "You ignored me at school all day, why do you want to talk now. It's not a good time." Tears entered her blue eyes.

Shawn’s heart clenched. "Why not, do you know too?"

Confusion registered on Belle's face "Know what?"

Shawn didn't know how to answer her.

"Look Shawn if it's about that stupid can again I'm not interested, whatever game you are playing now is not the time. Brady's show of standing & walking at Dot.com yesterday left him really sore today. Carl was so angry at him because he may have jeopardized his whole recovery. She paused to take a breath. "His legs are feeling very numb today and he's really depressed. My mom and dad are fighting because of Brady's lawsuit and you only come around when you want something. It's not just all about you Shawn. Other people have problems, serious problems and are hurting. So if you don't mind, please leave!"

Tears ran down her cheeks as she shoved him out of the door.

"Belle" Shawn began.

She shook her head "Go please" her bottom lip quivered as she glared at him through tear filled eyes.

His heart clenched again and he took a shaky breath out in the hallway.

Somehow unintentionally he had hurt Belle, she had always been such a good friend to him but she was right, when she needed him he wasn't there. He left the building and walked around in the cold. He knew he was feeling really sorry for himself. He stopped to take a deep breath leaning against the brick wall of a building. Hopelessness overcame him.

"Shawn? Shawn is that you?" Mimi got closer to the dark coated figure. It was Shawn and when he looked up at her, her heart jumped into her throat. Those beautiful sexy dark eyes of his glistened with unshed tears.

"Shawn are you OK, I thought you went home because you were coming down with the flu?"

"Yah well going home didn't work so well" He responded hoarsely as he slid down the wall until he ended up on the cement, his arms wrapped around his knees.

Mimi went down with him. Those incredibly thick, long dark lashes of his closed for a moment. Mimi didn't know what mysterious force prompted her but if she had stopped to think she probably would have talked herself out of it. She knelt beside him and put one arm around his shoulders and wrapped the other around his knees. She put her head down next to his. For a moment it was almost if she could feel all his pain. Tears filled her brown eyes and a lump filled her throat.

"It's ok Shawn, everything will be OK."

Shawn heard the emotion in her voice and was touched that she cared. He let go of his knees and wrapped his arms around Mimi. Pulling her close, the flowery scent of her hair enveloping him. The tears came, despite his best efforts to blink them away.

"Why couldn't my life just be normal for once." He brokenly whispered as he clung to Mimi.

Her heart ached for him as he cried. She whispered reassurances in his ear as she stroked his dark hair. "Shhhh, its going to be all right."

Despite the situation, it felt so good having Shawn's arms wrapped around her. After awhile she whispered. "Come on, since things didn't work out at your house, why don't you come home with me? I've got the house all to myself tonight?"

Shawn nodded, he really wasn't feeling very well and the temptation to lie down somewhere was very strong. In silence they made their way to the house. Once they entered Shawn headed over to the sofa. Thinking back to Jan's words, Mimi piped up.
"No Shawn, that sofa really isn't very comfortable. Come on you can lie down on my bed, it's ok really."

"All right, as long as its ok." Shawn gratefully responded. He followed Mimi upstairs and lay down on the bed.

"Can I get you something? Maybe some hot tea?" Mimi asked him.

"No hot is the last thing I need, I'm already quite hot." Shawn responded as he took off his coat and sweater. Underneath it he just had on a black t-shirt. A t-shirt that showed off his lean, muscular body to perfection, Mimi noted. She went over to him and sat down on the bed, putting her hand on his forehead. "You are so hot."

He laughed hoarsely "Gee Mims thanks for the compliment."

She hit him on the arm. "Get over yourself." She laughed.

"Seriously, how about a cold drink then?" She winked at him." There are quite a few cold beers in the fridge. I mean I know we shouldn't but it just seems kind of like the night for it."

Being underage and responsible had its pitfalls. Shawn thought about it for a moment, why not for once, why should he always be responsible - his parents certainly weren't. Maybe it would dull the pain for a bit. "Sure!" He smiled at her. She was being so good to him.

Three beers later, Shawn started to tell Mimi about his past.

"But everything is much better now, isn't it? I mean your parents had that big wedding bash and everything is perfect now?"

Desolation entered Shawn's eyes. "No, nothing in my life is ever meant to be perfect. Every time it comes close, something horrible comes along and rips it apart."

"Can you tell me about it?"

Grimly he smiled. "It's not my secret to reveal, although I'm sure the people holding it plan to keep it a secret for as long as possible."

She put her hand to the sore side of his face, gently playing with the long dark hair. "I'm sorry Shawn, I really am. You're a good guy, you deserve to be happy."

He looked up at Mimi, her brown eyes smiling at him. Later, he didn't know if it was a sudden attraction, the fever, a need for comfort or if it was the beer, but very intently he reached up to outline her lips with his thumb. With a mischievous smile, his lips followed his thumb and he kissed her. Shawn's feverish lips coming down on hers, was unlike anything she had ever imagined. It felt like every fiber in her body was ignited. He pulled her down on top of him.

to be continued…

Home Page   Chapter 4     Fan Fics by Others    My Fics  

  Guestbook - please feel free to leave the author feedback...I'll make sure she gets it!