Monday, Dec. 30th: I'm at work now, on my lunch break. These updates may be kinda sporadic for a little while, as today April and i were informed of just how much work we are going to have in the next coupla months. This includes us getting 1 month to do a show that we got 2 months to do last time, as well as working on a 15 minute pilot reel. Which is invigorating, to be sure - nothing like having one giant monthlong deadline for inspiration - but i do feel like i'm off my game a little bit. This happens every time i'm away for a little while. Example: yesterday while moving, Jeff brought up the movie Soul Man, about a college student who has to pretend to be black for some reason not known to me. Anyway, we both jokingly wondered what a movie with the same premise, only Jewish, would be titled, and a day later, i still haven't thought of anything. Oh no.
While walking back to the office from getting lunch, i passed a, er, disheveled looking man, wearing a handmade sandwich-board style sign that read "STOP remote control of human beings!" It went on to list how exactly this is done, but i've forgotten what the methods are, probably because i've been programmed to. Anyway, if i *do* have someone controlling my thoughts and movements, it's probably the management of MANHATTAN HEROES (168 W. 27th St. @ 7th Ave.), as i am unable to resist their fresh delicious "hero" sandwiches, the authentic Spanish-style rice and beans, the fragrant fried plantains, hearty meatballs, a whole world of sheet-panned foods at low low prices. Stop in, and you'll feel like a regular! Yes, that's MANHATTAN HEROES (212 741-3560) ...
9pm that morning: I go back to work today, just like that. How very strange. As you can imagine, i sort of got used to having nothing to do, to getting up at noon every day, etc. The fact that i managed to clean my apartment and get rid of as much crap as i did makes me feel pretty good. So, hooray for me.
This is going to be an event-filled coupla days coming up. AND i'm pretty sore from helping Jeff move yesterday. It's been a long time since i've helped anyone move. It was actually strangely fun, mostly me, Jeff and Josh making fun of each other and accidentally banging into things. At one point, Josh was riding in the back of the empty seatless van, when the 70 lb. spare tire fell over and landed on his leg. He winced loudly, to which me and Jeff, naturally, laughed hysterically. It was that kind of day. Afterward, Whitney took us all to Teddy's and we planned our upcoming Super Bowl party, if you can believe that.
Saturday, Dec. 28th
Expert movie reviews by KEVIN DAILEY
On Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers - "You know, that was a great movie and all, but in no way did it address my cock."
Tonight is the first GIRL HARBOR show in two weeks, and i'm pretty excited to play bass again, as you can imagine. Maybe i'll get "laid."
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Friday, Dec. 27th: Yesterday, i spent all day cleaning the house. There's a pile of trash/broken electronics/useless crap about 4 feet high in one of my living rooms. Of course, you want to see a picture of it, but i literally can't get the whole thing to fit into a camera lens. Jeff woke up this morning and asked how i was going to dispose of it and i said i didn't know. I guess i'll have to stuff it all in the bagel-factory dumpster across the street. That'll only take about an hour, i guess, and all the leftover bagels will just have to go on the sidewalk. Josh suggested instead of schlepping everything down the stairs, we get a "debris slide", and now, after almost 10 years, i finally know where Pavement got that song title. And to think, i'm not even done. But, no matter now, because me, Josh and Kev are going to see the new Lord of the Rings movie, then getting burgers and beers at McHale's ("2 out of 4 yum-yums" says Tae J. Kim), then going out and getting figgity-fucked up, hopefully.
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This is not the aforementioned pile of trash. |
Wednesday, Dec. 25th
More proof i have the greatest friends ever: i returned home to see my bicycle, the same one that's been chained to a railing in the GIRL HARBOR practice space ever since i lost my keys in September, sitting there in my living room. It turns out Kevin, Jeff, Josh and Sasha took it upon themselves to finally rescue the damn thing, AND they put a new seat on it as well, one with tail lights on the back. Aw. Kevin called later to make sure there was a bow on it, and i told him there wasn't. To which he replied "those fuckers! I give them one damn job to do ..."
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Going to Denver had its definite ups and downs. It was nice to reconnect with a lot of my old friends and family members, but Denver itself just isn't the same place. Everything is so expensive now, many old places i used to like to go are gone, turned into lofts or shitty upscale bars, no one cares about music, no one dresses well, i'm spoiled. I was having dinner at one of Denver's newer (kinda) rocker bars last nite before i left. I complained to the waitress, a kinda goony looking girl with a (ugh) foam baseball hat, a tight red hoodie and a homemade jean skirt, about how i was completely unable to find a jukebox in Denver with The STOOGES on it. To which she naturally replied "who are The STOOGES?" Yup, i left not a moment too soon ... |
 But you know, you just don't get this sort of thing in NYC ...
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Dec. 19th - 24th: Carstensen @ Denver, 7:05
Wednesday, Dec. 18th
You can only imagine how much the dozens of drunk santas were gettin' down to the exploits of DJ Jeff the Elf.
Greg and Dave admitted to being very freaked out by the affair, and didn't stay long. Greg theorizes it's because they're Jewish.
For my efforts, i got a splendid 4-button suit jacket with terrible matching pleated pants, as well as a faux-diamond bracelet James picked out that i wore later that nite. Peggy from Greenpoint Tavern thought it was very lovely.
Alright, all you Jews and non-Jews, i'm outta here. Happy holidays (where applicable).
Your friend
Jens Carstensen
| Monday, Dec. 16th: It's 1:30 in the afternoon, and i'm still in a complete daze. I think i'm still drunk. Ick. This weekend was absolutely preposterous. Friday was an art show in an aquarium store, with free Boddington's all nite and a special guest apprearance by Chicago's JEREMY WALTON; Saturday nite was SANTACON 2002 (featuring 200 people in Santa outfits who'd been drinking since 11 am dancing to the DJing exploits of DJ DRUNKY JEFF and the FRESH JENS); Sunday was Williamsburg's CHEAP ART PARTY, featuring rock and roll music with GIRL HARBOR, as well as a special guest visit from Charlottesville's MIKE "The STRANGER" PETERSON. Don't worry, there will soon be many pictures of these events. Lots and lots of pictures. But, for right now, i sort of think i should make myself something to eat. |
 Meeting of the minds: Mike "The Stranger" Peterson (Charlottesville, VA) and Joshua "Josh" Johnson (B'lyn, NY) watch the white folks dance at Red & Black. |
Quick random thought: does anyone else wish Joy Division had covered "Surfin' Bird"?
Saturday, Dec. 14th, 1 a.m.
Thursday, Dec. 12th: I went shopping today. It was very nice out when i woke up this morning, and i decided it was high time i got out of the apartment for once in my life. Plus, i was very sad to discover recently that i managed to lose my "Leo" necklace at the last Don Hill's show, so i went out on a quest for a new one. You know, because necklaces, especially astrological ones, are very studly. The problem being, i bought the last one at South of the Border during the first GIRL HARBOR tour. Where ever was i going to find a replacement?! But, this is New York City, dammit, and if it ain't here, it doesn't exist. Even if the search did take me to some stores you wouldn't normally think to find Jens in. I'm not going to divulge the results of my research here, you'll just have to wait and see for yourself. I imagine Hilary Englert especially is freaking out with anticipation right now, if she even reads this thing.
Tuesday, Dec. 10th: I feel a little guilty updating the site when i have other writing to do. I'm doing a couple of pieces for an "events"-style magazine Greg Altman's roommate (heretofore to be referred to by his name, Dave Lipp) is starting. Neither of them are done yet, and they were due last Saturday. Ah, deadlines. Nice to see i haven't lost my touch. And i'll tell you what's not helping: i'm just not a big fan of Cafe Bustelo. "...Es el preferido por la gran Hispana en los Estados Unidos" ... ¡pero no por el gringo Jens! Bitter and weird-tasting, and not the sort of coffee i look forward to when i wake up in the afternoon. Now, Chock Full O' Nuts, there's a heavenly coffee ...
So, anyway, i'm like chatting up this dame last nite, right? And things were going pretty swell; we were even talking about the NYC Transit Strike, coming next Monday (i really don't think it's gonna happen, but that's a different story). Inevitably, about 10 minutes in, she asks me what i do for a living. And so, because i'm so fucking sick of talking about Pop-Up Video to strangers, i decided to give her a different version of the truth: i told her i was unemployed. That ended that conversation. As in, she literally turned her back to me. Next time, i do the Kevin Dailey approach: i lie and say i'm a lawyer.
 Jens looks ready to leave his apartment for a change in this fine Sir Pendelton overcoat by Pendelton Woolen Mfg., Portland, OR. ($8, some thrift store in Silverthorne, CO) |
But enough about that (for now). I'd like to deliver a final verdict on what was breifly a raging controversy. And that is if this year's selection for my winter jacket is actually a woman's jacket. I have received a lot of comments on it since i first broke it out last week, and most of them have been positive (naturally!!) But some of the, er, *cattier*, members of the Carstensen Inner Circle saw fit to hypothesize that it is in fact a woman's jacket, perhaps in a futile attempt to make me feel self-conscious about my truly inspired clothing choices. Well, to them, i announce it is, in fact, a man's jacket. I know this because i ran into Larry (of Greenpoint/Williamsburg's two most prominant junk/thrift stores) last nite at Beauty Bar, and after complimenting me on my fine jacket (of course!!), he tried it on and knowledgably determined it was in fact a man's jacket. He then added, "but, who cares if it isn't?" and i said "you know ... you're right." So, that's that then. |
Friday, Dec. 6th: I was chatting with Josh yesterday, and we wondered why bars haven't started "Super-Sizing" drinks for an extra $1, kinda like fast food restaurants do. I mentioned we could do this at the bar his friend Eliot always wanted to open. Eliot is one of the most brilliantly non-sequiter people i've ever met, and i lived with him for a short time, and once he told me about how he wanted to open a night club in an old Arby's. He would keep all the furnishings and fixtures, the plastic chairs and the wallpaper. The crowd would dance on the tile floor in the lobby, and the "bar" would be the counter where you regularly order food. You would order a drink, and the counter-person, dressed in the old brown and tan uniforms, would sullenly repeat your order into the microphone that goes back to the kitchen, where the "bartender", probably some big surly fellow with a cardboard hat and clear plastic gloves, would actually make your drink. Then they would slide the drink down the metal shelving to the front counter, and you'd get your order just like you were ordering a Big Beef and Cheddar, and you wouldn't even have to tip. You could definitely "super-Size" your drink at a place like this. The best part, tho, is what he wanted to name the club: J.O. Bloodbath's.
Me and Josh were also having a discussion on going to school for fashion. Josh wondered aloud what you could do with a degree in fashion, and i mentioned Karen Meehan, and what Anne Brady does for a living, and how NYC is pretty much the place in America to live if you want any sort of job in fashion. A short pause, then Josh blurts out "you know, i think i'd really like managing a sweat shop."
Thursday, Dec. 5th: It's snowing! I was pertty [sic] excited to see the snowflakes oh so gently whipping around outside my bedroom this morning. And i stayed excited until i realized i had to go out to the store to buy half and half. But still, it's not like when i lived in Denver and i hated snow. It rarely snows in NYC - there's only been two or three significant snow falls i can remember in my 6 winters here - and when it does, it has all the romanitic, symbollically-purifying aspects you tend to want to attribute to snow, i guess because you don't have to drive in it. Snow in New York is beautiful. Snow in Denver is like white doom.
Mike Hollitscher thanked me yesterday for not mentioning the repugnant SLEATER-KINNEY in my impromptu essay on bass-less bands. But, i admit, rather being than an intentional ommission, it was in fact a glaring oversight. In fact, that band (and perhaps by proxy, their progenitor EXCUSE 17) are truly to blame for sucky bands with no bass players, but any further discussion on this would quite possibly come across as sexism, and besides, it's just fun to make fun of The DOORS, isn't it? Even in this day and age. Fish in a barrel, i tell ya.
Incidentally, The MODEY LEMON are a great no-bass band from Pittsburgh, PA that you should see if they ever come to your town. Heavy, yet Moog-y. And, no less than Carnegie Mellon Student Newspaper The Tartan endorses them mightily as well.
You know, the more i drink in a certain night, the earlier i wake up the next morning. Does this happen to anyone else? Anyway, time to make breakfast. Tomorrow: i share with you my veggie breakfast burrito recipe.
Mwah!
jc
p.s.: I would be remiss to not mention getting a call from my excellent old friend Jeremiah Hudson yesterday. He is alive and very well, currently residing in Huntsville, AL, and tending to his burgeoning film career with alacrity and pluck. He sends regards to all readers who know him. Or, at least i assume he does; his phone died in Hour 2 of our conversation. And we were just getting started!
Wednesday, Dec. 4th: Last night i found myself at Luxx, watching a local band named MOB STEREO play their first show. The band was notable for their uncanny approximation (okay, blatant ripping-off) of local sensations The YEAH YEAH YEAHS. The diminutive guitarist stared at his guitar playing nothing but chords, there was no bassist, and the singer was dressed in a black and white 80s party dress she probably made herself, black stockings and white boots, and basically co-opted YYY singer Karen O’s spazzy diffidence, only to greatly diminished effect. Some of her between-song stage bantor, i shit you not, was “i love you, i love you, and i love you,” while giggling all the while. It was pretty pathetic, and it made me realize that, even though i don’t really care for The YEAH YEAH YEAHS, i do think they are a great band, due to little things like having hooks, interesting guitar lines and a sense of control over their music. And now i have proof.
Anyway, if you think the last paragraph was the precursor to a rant about how much i hate trend sniffing, or worse yet, how sick i am of fashion students ruining rock music (both legitimate, but tired, platitudes), you are surprisingly wrong. No no, today, i’d like to speak to you about a burgeoning trend that is far more potentially destructive, and that is: The Band Without a Bass Player.
Obviously, as a bass player myself, i’m already very on the defensive about this recent development. To me, bass guitar is THE maligned and misunderstood instrument in rock, that it’s potential is always severely underestimated. It offends me that a band would consider not having a bass player. How could you not have a bass player? But, no one really notices bass players, do they? Can you name the bassist in, say, CHEAP TRICK? Because you can probably name the other three guys. Hell, how about The WHO? If you know, it’s probably either because he just died, or he was considered one of the best bassists in the world. I bet Jeff can’t name The KINKS' bass player. Can you name 10 bass players? And how many songs can you really hum or recognize the bass lines to? Sonically, the bass guitar has been in a slump since, oh, 1985. Soul and 60s garage understood the importance of bass and bass-lines to rock music, and thus the instrument tends to be generously mixed, to great effect. If you want to know what i think all bass should sound like in rock songs, listen to The YARDBIRDS version of “I’m a Man.” Mind you, even if i could still accurately describe myself as a drummer instead/as well as a bassist, i’d feel the same way. Long story short: quit fronting on the bass, everybody.
But, maybe we need to suss out who exactly to blame for this terrible trend. As i mentioned, The YEAH YEAH YEAHS don’t have a bassist, and, as effective as they are at it, it does seem to be a shtick. That’s annoying. Before them, of course, is The WHITE STRIPES, an early favorite for best band of the new century, who have managed to compensate for their lack of bass with a gigantic drum sound and great songs. But don’t tell me the bass isn’t missing. To me, the most stylistically successful of the no-bass bands was The OBLIVIANS (and for my money, the band of the 90s, although even i'll admit i'd have a hard time defending that statement). Unlike any of the previous bands i've mentioned, tho, they had two guitarists, one of which was so sludgy and undefined that it performed many of the same functions as a bass fairly well. Plus, once again, they had great songs. But i don't think they were ever a particularly influential band, which is a shame, but that's another story. We could go back to The CRAMPS, The B-52s or even TRAFFIC, all bands that most people probably don't even realize had didn't have regular bassists. No, we all know who the real culprits are: The DOORS. I believe they may have been rock's first bass-less wonders, one of many crimes against the rock state they should really be held more accountable for. So, yes, i blame The DOORS for what i saw last nite. Bastards.
Anyway, i feel as if i was about to go somewhere relevant with all of this, but James is about to arrive, so we can go out in the freezing-ass cold and hang flyers for the upcoming GIRL HARBOR show. But, i think i've made my point. And that is: i don't really have one.
p.s.: For those of you wondering where all the pictures have been lately, a dredged up one for you. It's of the Laura Bush refrigerator magnet i bought for Josh while i was in Virginia over Thanxgiving. Laura Bush just seems like the strong, determined woman that Josh would find sexy.
Tuesday, Dec. 3d: Do you like that? I wrote "3d" just like the New York Times would. Neat. Anyway, i'll say this for GIRL HARBOR's Jimmy Spoiler: he continues to confuse and delight. Two examples ...
Last night at Beauty Bar, me and Jeff were having a conversation about who was the funnier Young One, Neil or Mike. James wasn't really listening, but just kept hearing me use the word "Mike." Finally, he interjects "Mike Scoscia?" As in, the manager of the Anaheim Angels. An impressive reference from a guy who's probably never watched an inning of baseball in his life.
Then on the way home, he was talking about how he's gonna start keeping his apartment cleaner, or as he put it, "I'm going to start being more of a Virgo." Heh?! Just when you think you know someone ...
Speaking of which, i spent the morning adding a brand new feature MEET THE BAND to the GIRL HARBOR website. Check it out and see if you can guess who listed his best friend as "Teddy Ruxpin."
Monday, Dec. 2nd: I was excited to get a package a coupla days ago from a M(r)s. Debbie Southwood-Smith of the Interscope/Geffen/A&M corporate music monolith. I opened up and sure enough, there's an unwrapped copy of our own GIRL HARBOR Shine On CD - not to seem ungrateful Deb, but i've heard it already, and i like their newer stuff better anyway - as well as our own bio, our own photo. In fact, the only thing that wasn't ours was the letter on the corporate stationery that read ...
Thanks for sending your material. I have listened to the CD and don't feel that this is a project I am interested pursuing at this time.
Best of luck to you in the future.
Presumably, it's because we don't sound enough like Linkin Park, so i'm not bitter. In fact, i'm kind of touched; i mean, why would she bother to spend time and money on returning our CD and sending us a (what appears to be hand-signed) letter unless she really cared about us knowing just where we stand. So, thank you Debbie Southwood-Smith, and best of luck to you too. I think we can still be friends.
Speaking of mail and GIRL HARBOR, if there's one thing i've learned in my time in GIRL HARBOR (debatable), it's how to make lists, even if you never get around to doing most of the things on them. So, in the spirit of that, i thought it might be best to make a list of things i'd like to do this week. Here goes ...
* Wash the dishes
* Get a new lock for the mailbox (Nope! Still haven't gotten to that one yet!)
* Finding out how to fix my digital camera
* Finding out how to fix the nifty, early 80s VCR i found on the sidewalk
* Rescue my bicycle from the practice space, where it's been chained to a rail since i lost my keys three months ago. (Any suggestions?)
* Sweep and/or mop at least one floor
* Read A Pitcher's Story, the book on David Cone Jesse lent me
* Take my black 4-button jacket to get two of the buttons put back on
* Rent and watch the 2nd volume of the Young Ones DVD
* Vacuum my disgusting living room, or make Jeff do it
* Look into the "operation"
* Make a photo gallery for the GIRL HARBOR website
* Write some reviews for Dave Lipp's new magazine, or Jersey Beat.
* Take my old Crumar synths to Carl's to try and sell them
* Make love
* Give all the clothes i'll never wear again (and believe me, there's plenty) to Salvation Army, so i can accidentally buy them again at a later time
* Pay some bills
* Floss
You'll note that "look for a job" is nowhere on this list. Yet. Maybe next month. Anyway, i'll keep you posted on my success rate with these endeavors. Today, i managed to rejoin the Y, and i went grocery shopping, so i think i'm off to a dandy start ...