I miss the way you held my hand
& the way you showed you cared
I miss the way you looked @ me
& the way you were always there
I miss the way you talked to me
& the way you were my friend
I miss the way you held me tight
& the way I felt it would never end
I miss the way you kissed my lips
& they way you made me feel
I miss they way you looked @ me
& told me it was real
I miss they way you made it better
& the way you would always try
but I don't miss the way you hurt me
& the way you made me cry
I don't miss the way you looked @ me
& told me we were done
I don't miss the way you left me
& the way that you're now gone
I don't miss the way you cant be reached
& the way you wont call
I don't miss that I am w/ out you
& I don't miss the hurt @ all
I miss the parts that wont come back
& I don't miss the ones that stay
I miss the feelings that left
& I don't miss the ones that wont go away
~ CONFUSED ~
part of me wants to move on
but I cant let you go
part of me never wants to see you
but I miss you so
part of me doesn't want to talk to you
but I long for your voice
part of me doesn't want to need you
but I have no choice
part of me wants to hurt you
but I hate to see you cry
part of me wants to forget you
but I cant, no matter how hard I try
since the moment it was over
nothing has been right
I have tried to act the same
but I cant sleep @ night
I go through the day smiling
being your "friend"
but I hurt like hell inside
‘cause I cant accept the end
I wait by the phone
knowing you're not going to call
I cry ‘cause I want to hate you
you made me fall
~ OUR SONG ~
I hear our song on the radio
@ first I smile to myself
I remember the first time I heard that song
I thought of you right away
it matched my feelings so well
I remember the first time we danced to that song
it immediately became ours
I wanted to stay forever in your arms
I remember the last time we danced to our song
you held me so tight
you looked into me eyes & kissed my lips
I knew you were mine
now I am jolted back to reality
I remember there is no more "us"
the song that once made me feel so loved
now only reminds me we're through
a tear rolls down my cheek & turn the station
I never want to hear that song again
H is for home, where I now spend my nights
E is for emptiness, the way I feel inside
A is for alone, the way I now am
R is for reminders, of you there are thousands
T is for tears, so many I cried over losing you
A is for always, I thought we'd last forever
C is for closure, I need to achieve it
H is for hunger, w/ out you I cant even eat
E is for everything, I'd do to get you back
DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS?
do you know how it feels to be in love
to want to be with someone every minute of your time
and do you know how it feels to have that person
to hold them in your arms and feel them holding you
do you know how it feels to look at that person
to only want to be with them forever
and do you know how it feels to love so much
to think that there is no way this could ever end
do you know how it feels to worry
to pray that the end isn't near
and do you know how it feels to pour out your heart
to cry and tell the person everything you feel inside
do you know how it feels to hear nothing
to wish for some response to your love
and do you know how it feels to be denied the only thing you wanted
to have every one of your fears come true
do you know how it feels to cry
to have your cheeks burn with tears of sorrow and pain
and do you know how it feels to have to smile
to act like you're happy around everyone you know
do you know how it feels to want to forget
to never think about the happiest times of the recent past
and do you know how it feels to be empty
to feel alone no matter how many friends you have
do you know how it feels to want to hate
to wish you would never see the one you love
and do you know how it feels to want to stop love
to not want to feel the way you did for that person anymore
Can you hear me?
I am calling to you
Screaming your name
I need you so much
Can you see me?
See through my fake smile,
Into my tears?
See my pain like you did before?
Can you feel it?
My heart is broken.
My world is upside down.
My life is torn apart.
You used to be able to hear me,
You used to be able to see me,
You used to be able to feel my pain,
And I never had to say a word.
So why can't you now?
Why aren't you here to comfort me?
Can you truly not hear me?
Or are you just ignoring me?
You don't want to hear it,
or see it,
or feel it,
Anymore.
~ YOU WILL NEVER KNOW ~
You will never know how much I love you
Even if I told you a thousand times
You will never know how much you hurt me
Even if I cry forever
You will never know how much I need you
Even if I never let you go
You will never know how much I cant live w/ out you
Even if I died right now
You will never know how much I hate not being around you
Even if I never left your side
You will never know the depths of my feelings
Even if you were me
~ I HAD A DREAM LAST NIGHT ~
I had a dream last night
You took me by the hand
You walked w/ me
& we we're together again
I had a dream last night
You told me you were mine
You wiped away my tears
& we lasted for all time
I had a dream last night
You said it would never end
You were my lover
& not just my friend
I woke up this morning
My heart was so sore
It was only a dream
& you're not mine anymore
when you look at me,
what do you see?
A foolish girl who can't get over you,
or a girl you once loved?
When you remember me,
what do you remember?
Someone crying & wanting you back,
or someone you wanted to be with all the time?
Am I the girl you think about and laugh,
because you know I would do anything to get you back?
Or am I the girl you hate yourself for losing,
because you know you screwed up and can't have me again?
I wonder if you went home
and put away all the pictures of us
‘cause I did.
I wonder if you turn off the radio
whenever our song comes on
‘cause I do
I wonder if you try to hold back tears
and try not to remember it's over
‘cause I try
I wonder if you look at me
and wish that we are still together
‘cause I wish that
I wonder if you still have feelings for me
and if you still love me
‘cause I still love you
How was I supposed to know
that your feelings had changed
when you still held me close
and you still kissed me?
How was I supposed to know
that you didn't want to be together
when you grabbed my hand
and you smiled at me?
How was I supposed to know
that you everything was going to end
when you told me we were fine
and everything would be okay?
How was I supposed to know
that you and me were history
when you always talked about your future
and I was always in it?
How was I supposed to know
that something was wrong
when you never told me?
I REFUSE
I refuse to cry
I refuse to suffer
I refuse to be pitied
I refuse to not move on
I refuse to live in the past
I refuse to let you control me
I refuse to pray for you to return
I refuse to sit at home all by myself
I refuse to have to need you to love me
I refuse to dream for you to take me back
I refuse to think I that I was better with you
I refuse to show anyone how much I hurt inside
I refuse to hate myself because you don't want me
DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS?
do you know how it feels to be in love
to want to be with someone every minute of your time
and do you know how it feels to have that person
to hold them in your arms and feel them holding you
do you know how it feels to look at that person
to only want to be with them forever
and do you know how it feels to love so much
to think that there is no way this could ever end
do you know how it feels to worry
to pray that the end isn't near
and do you know how it feels to pour out your heart
to cry and tell the person everything you feel inside
do you know how it feels to hear nothing
to wish for some response to your love
and do you know how it feels to be denied the only thing you wanted
to have every one of your fears come true
do you know how it feels to cry
to have your cheeks burn with tears of sorrow and pain
and do you know how it feels to have to smile
to act like you're happy around everyone you know
do you know how it feels to want to forget
to never think about the happiest times of the recent past
and do you know how it feels to be empty
to feel alone no matter how many friends you have
do you know how it feels to want to hate
to wish you would never see the one you love
and do you know how it feels to want to stop love
to not want to feel the way you did for that person anymore
Can you hear me?
I am calling to you
Screaming your name
I need you so much
Can you see me?
See through my fake smile,
Into my tears?
See my pain like you did before?
Can you feel it?
My heart is broken.
My world is upside down.
My life is torn apart.
You used to be able to hear me,
You used to be able to see me,
You used to be able to feel my pain,
And I never had to say a word.
So why can't you now?
Why aren't you here to comfort me?
Can you truly not hear me?
Or are you just ignoring me?
You don't want to hear it,
or see it,
or feel it,
Anymore.
WERE YOU SURPRISED?
Were you surprised when I didn't cry
as you stared at my hands
holding back your tears
Were you surprised when I didn't fall apart
when I stood tall
when I stood strong
Were you surprised when I didn't beg
I let you leave
not once did I plead for you to return
Were you surprised when I didn't run away
I didn't hide from the world
I didn't disappear
Were you surprised when I survived
when my life went on
and I still had fun.....with out you
Were you surprised that my world didn't end
that I moved on
that I got over you
when you were still surprised that I didn't cry
Everyone tells me i will get over you
i just have to wait
so im waiting
waiting for my heart to mend
waiting to forget about you
waiting....
It feels like i will never stop waiting
my heart will never mend
i will never forget about you
i try every hard
i want to get over you
but i guess i just have to wait
i want to forget about you
but i guess i just have to wait
