Quotes Page

1. Never climb a fence and fall off...it hurts
   -Me

2. Smile-it's the second best thing you can do with your lips
   -unknown

3. When you're in love a pimple looks like a dimple
   -unknown

4. I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs!
   - Sam Goldwyn

5. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
   -unknown

6. Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
   -unknown

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
   -unknown

8. Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.
   -unknown

9. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
   -unknown

10. A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
    -unknown

11. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
    -unknown

12. The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
    -unknown

13. Two wrongs are only the beginning.
    -unknown

14. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
    -unknown

15. When their numbers dwindled from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began to suspect Hungry.
    -unknown

16. I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holiday.
    - Henny Youngman

17. Money talks. Mine says "I'm leaving."
    -unkown

18. One hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong.
    - Graffito

19. She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
    - - - Groucho Marx

20. She is a peacock in everything but beauty.
    - - - Oscar Wilde

21. German in the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747.
    - - - Willy Rushton

22. Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
    - - - Mark Twain

23. The German mind has a talent for making no mistakes but the very greatest.
    - - - Clifton Fadiman

24. You can always reason with a German. You can always reason with a barnyard animal, too, for all the good it does.
    - - - P.J. O'Rourke "Holidays in Hell"

25. America is a melting pot, the people at the bottom get burned while all the scum floats to the top.
    - - - Charlie King

26. Americans always try to do the right thing -- after they've tried everything else.
    - - - Winston Churchill

27. This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever.
    - - - Sigmund Freud (about the Irish)

28. The problem with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, but with absolutely no talent.
    - - - Hugh Leonard