Being an internet columnist, I often receive letters like this:|
"You are LATE making your car payment. If you fail to pay within TEN days of the above date, we will take legal action against you."
I also receive e-mail asking basically the same set of column-related questions, like this one:
"Why don't you stop trying to be funny and print out a list of frequently asked questions and answers so at least once in your miserable life you have an interesting column?"
Thanks for the suggestion, Mom. For you and everyone who has been kind enough to write me personally, here are those FAQ's.
Q: You've stated that you are read throughout the USA and in 18 countries. Prove it.
A: My assertion that the Cameron Column is read in 18 countries is based on
(a) return addresses furnished by my readers, andIn order to update my boasting, however, I would appreciate any person who lives in any countries besides the USA and Wyoming to send me an e-mail message stating what is the city, province, and country of your residence. I'll publish the results of this unscientific survey in an upcoming issue of The Cameron Column.
Q: How's the Cameron Web Site coming?
A: When this idea first surfaced, the crack WBC Technical Team confidently predicted we would be up and running within a few weeks, stating "any monkey can build a web site." However, it turns out to be much more difficult to find these monkeys than we first thought. We're now confidently predicting that we have no idea when we'll have a Cameron Column Web Site.
Q: When did you start the Cameron Column, and do your parents consider you to be a complete failure?
A: The Cameron Column started in the summer of 1995 with six subscribers, four of whom shared DNA with me. We now have around 2,500 subscribers, most of whom, I assume, are NOT blood relatives.
Q: Don't most subscribers quit after a couple of issues, and why haven't you changed your haircut in 30 years?
A: No. Two percent unsubscribe, and an additional three percent wind up with dead e-mail addresses.
Q: How are reprints handled, and shouldn't you be looking for a real job?
A: I'm always flattered to receive a request for a previous column, but as the subscriber base grows it's more difficult to process these. The Cameron Column Web Site will have past issues available for downloading.
Q: This is a really boring column.
A: Okay, let's end it here. The Cameron Column will be back to normal next issue. Happy Holidays, and thanks to everyone for their support this year!
Copyright W. Bruce Cameron 1996
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