The sounds of the surrounding city faded slowly away into the distance as the night wore on, becoming part of another reality. A reality he no longer shared. Having sequestered himself emotionally away from the rest of the world, he had only himself to deal with. The rainbow lights of the church window dimmed as the building was emptied for the night. Nothing but a soft crystalline shimmer could be seen through the faceted glass tiles. Night melted in around him, filling every space completely. The frigid night air hung still, clinging to him. And in the silence between heartbeats and passing thoughts,...she came.
Shadows ran together along the wall of the church like puddles of ink. An unnaturally dark blotch moved along the walls towards him, around the boxes, crates, cans and refuse littering the alley. It gathered mass as it passed from one shadow to the next. Flowing out of the deepest shadows she poured like liquid midnight, to stand before him. She tilted her head, studying him with sparkling emerald eyes.
"Hello again, my love," she said, in a voice that could bring any man to his knees in an instant. He had known she was there, her presence was as undeniable as the summer sun. Her voice was a complex blending of timbers and frequencies. It made her sound as if she spoke in chords, and the effect of it ripped through him as though he were made of tissue paper. He drew a quick breath and lifted his head to face her, eyes closed. He paled as he remembered what it was to look at her. She whispered, seduction writhing in her soft words. A black, velvet hammer.
"Open your eyes sweet one,...look on me once again." The black, light-consuming surface that covered her body began to run off like water, meandering back into the surrounding shadows. What it left behind was pure, and perfect in every sense of the word. He braced himself, knowing all too well that it would be for nothing. To look at her was to know the true force of desire, and what it could drive a person to.
"Please,..." he pleaded weakly, as he opened his eyes. He was right, the impact of looking at her was like a train wreck. Her form, even in the dim light, was as subtle as being struck by lightning,...twice. He tensed up dangerously. She raised a superbly arched eyebrow at him, considered something for a moment, then wrapped her perfect hand around the grip of the sword. Without effort, she withdrew it from the bricks. She laid the blade flat across the open palm of her left hand. Fighting for some measure of control, he watched. She slid her hand up the long, gleaming blade with a motion that sent electric chills through his entire body. Then pushed the handle of the sword towards him, bringing the tip of the blade to her chest. Resting it between her flawless breasts, she stepped forward and dropped to her knees before him.
"Take it my love," she said, offering the sword to him. Her voice cut through him in ways no blade ever could. He growled.
"Stop this," he said sternly. "I'm not going to take that sword. I just want you to go away and leave me alone." She sighed heavily, her chest moving in perfect synchronicity.
"Alone,...yes. But that's why I'm here love." She tilted her head in that way again, her long raven hair flowing to one side. "Or have you already forgotten?" she continued. "That's why I always come."
"I know why you're here," he replied. "And it isn't necessary." She withdrew the razor tip of the blade from where it rested against her skin, and let it swing down to clink against the stone with a sharp, hollow echo. Her eyes fixed him, and he sat frozen. She stood the sword straight up, gave a quick thrust, and plunged two thirds of it's length into the ground with the grating scream of metal against stone. He never blinked, never flinched. He was held securely in her gaze, and this was her way of testing that fact. Resting her arm on the pommel of the weapon, she leaned forward, making sure that her breasts just caught the edge of her arm so they would bounce a tiny bit before coming to rest. He shuddered visibly. The effort was not wasted, but then, none of them ever were.
It wasn't simply that she was a physically "perfect" woman, although this was irrefutably so. It was the power of her sensuality that screamed for attention. It would not go unnoticed, could not. It was created to appeal to every sexual desire a man could possibly have,...and all at once. Formed from the core of the most basic male desires, and merged with the highest ideals of the "perfect" woman. Everything about her, from the most subliminal body language, or gesture, to the most blatant use of her physical attributes was focused and fine tuned to a single effort. She was seduction personified. Lust, given form and function. Sensuality and hunger beyond the human experience. She was insidious.
And she had come for him again.
"You know that isn't true," she whispered softly. "I only come in response to your need for me, and you know that too well to deny it." She was right,...he couldn't deny it. He had gone too deep, strayed too far. Now he had to deal with her again. He could only nod in reply.
How many times had he been here with her, how many times had she walked away to leave him wishing he'd gone with her. He couldn't even begin to count. All he knew at this moment was that he couldn't go with her, he couldn't allow it. She saw the resolve forming in him and wasn't going to let it turn him away from her if she could help it.
"You know I'm here for you always," she began, carefully weaving her way in. "Look at all you do, all you give, and feel." She inched closer. "And yet, with all that, you have scarcely cast a shadow. You're still considered a stranger, still denied. How long can you continue to be a non-entity?" She moved up until she was almost touching him, and spoke in a painfully soft voice. "Where is your worth love? You are too powerful to be on your knees, to feel that all you do passes into insignificance. Too strong to be so easily dismissed when it's convenient. Is love supposed to be "convenient"?" He clenched his teeth, clamping his jaw tightly. Her arguments were always too convincing for comfort.
"You know I can appreciate you like no other, understand all that you intend, and all you need. And you know I can give it all back." She focused her eyes sharply on his, binding them. "Can you continue to struggle, and hurt, and wonder why there is no place for you? There has always been a place for you with me,...in me."
"Please,...stop this. I promised," he said, loosening his jaw slightly. She reached up to touch his face, then stopped short. Promises were dangerous. He never made a promise unless he meant to keep it, and she knew the lengths he would go to in order to do just that.
"So you'll continue? You'll go on until the weight of carrying your own heart is too much to bear? And then what?" She knew the answer, it was too obvious to miss. When he finally collapsed, she would return,...as she always did, and he would take her at last.
"I'll deal with that when, and if, it happens," he stated curtly.
"When," she corrected. He looked down, and quietly fell apart. He ached for her to take him away, to ease his mind, his heart. She closed her eyes slowly, allowing herself to fall deeply into him. Tears rolled from her eyes as she fell, her chest heaved and her heart began to pound. If only,...
His wings had involuntarily curled around her, carefully, without touching her. He tried desperately to outrun the massive onslaught of emotion and thought that assaulted him as his guard dropped. They poured over him like a riptide, throwing him every which way. She could only sit in silence and watch, helpless. He could feel her drawing him away as each thought clawed it's way through him. Tears fell from him without sound against the stone. Finally he opened his eyes, shaking his head in a gesture to clear his thoughts. The woman opened her eyes as well, waiting. Looking down at his wrist, he winced in pain as the feeling of utter loss tore a gaping wound through his soul. She felt it too, and reached up and touched his face.
The power of her touch was enough to shake him to the core. He almost cried out. Pain bloomed in him like a nuclear blast. He pulled away quickly and jumped to his feet, legs trembling. His cheek burned like frostbite where her fingers had been, his body shook uncontrollably. His breath came in ragged, painful gasps, and his heart slammed against his ribs like a caged animal seeking escape at any cost.
Her's was the touch of death. Her seduction, that of release. She looked up at him, she knew better than to touch him against his will. A single, brief touch is all it would take to separate his body and soul permanently. She existed as a wedge to ultimately free him from life. He staggered back against the wall, fighting to regain himself with great effort. His face clearly displaying the agony he was in. She made an attempt to explain her mistake.
"I saw it in your mind,...there for a moment, I honestly saw it."
"You may have seen it," he choked. "But I didn't ask did I? Did I reach out for your hand? No." He steadied his breathing, and continued. "You know you can't simply "take" me just because I may call you unconsciously. I'd have never made it through childhood were that the case." She sighed, he was right of course,...but still, she'd heard it.
"Don't be angry with me love,...please," she pleaded in whispers. He stood still, the shaking subsiding, and said nothing. She reached out and picked up the red orchid. The beautiful flower wilted in seconds, leaving a frail corpse of dead gray flesh in her hand. He watched her impassively, gathering his thoughts.
"And you Arrilynn," he said at last. "Are you,...angry, or disappointed with me?"
She smiled. "Oh my dear one, anger isn't a part of my existence. I long to touch you, to complete you, it's my only purpose. But no, I feel no anger,...only sorrow and emptiness. And as for disappointment? How can you even ask me such a thing, knowing full well that it isn't possible? I have no illusions about who you are, and no confusion about why I come to you as I do." She dropped the flower, and came to her feet.
"Am I forgiven?" she asked, with a facetious tone. He sighed. How could he be angry with her for being herself, for doing what she was meant to do. Sometimes though, he wished she didn't make it so easy to consider.
"Yes love,...forgiven," he reassured her. "I've never been angry with you, and don't think I could ever be." He looked introspective for a moment. "After all," he continued. "In the end, you'll be the one I come to."
"Yes," she said, with a sad smile. She knew her time here was over, the seduction was again broken. But she also knew that it was by no means permanent. She could still hear him calling her, but made no comment about it. She knew he was aware of it too.
"I'm sorry I hurt you," she declared. "I'm always sorry when I hurt you." He looked at her with understanding.
"It's your nature, who you are. Sometimes I wish it were otherwise, but I know it will never be." That thought had saddened him on several occasions.
"Unchangeable as the seasons eh?" she said playfully. He smiled at that, thankful for the comedy relief. "So it seems love,...so it seems." She turned her eyes to the ground, staring blankly, lost in thought. With her index finger she absently traced the contour of the gem in the pommel of the sword.
"Why do you continue love?" she queried. His answer came more quickly than she had expected, as if she'd triggered an automatic response.
"Because there's always hope,...and sometimes that's all there is. But as long as it exists, so do I."
"Hope?" She raised an eyebrow. "Nothing more?" Somehow it just didn't seem enough to her, maybe she was missing something. Her very purpose made perspective difficult, if not impossible sometimes.
"Faith," he whispered, after a brief pause. Her eyes locked on the deep blue bottle at her feet, the candle long since melted down, trails of wax like frozen tears covering the neck. Beautiful. A radiant smile formed on her face. It was almost painful to look at.
"Of course," she said, nodding. "...Faith." Clearly it was time for her to leave, regretfully.
Looking at him a final time, she tilted her head back exposing her long, sensual neck. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath she called the shadows to her once more. Jet-black raced up her legs, over her body, enveloping her completely with a skin of darkness. Then she melted away, back into the night, leaving one last whisper to hang in the chill air.
~I'll be waiting love,..~