Expressions for women on high-stress days
or for me, everyday
- You - off my planet.
- Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
- Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
- Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
- And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be...?
- I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
- Allow me to introduce my selves.
- Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
- Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
- I'm just working here until a good fast-food job opens up.
- I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
- Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.
- I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
- How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
- I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
- You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing.
- Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2?
- Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
- Chaos, panic, and disorder--my work here is done.
- Earth is full. Go home.
- Is it time for your medication or mine?
- How do I set a laser printer to stun?
- I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.