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Some Funny & Some Not So Funny Witch Jokes:

Q: Why don't angry witches ride their brooms?
A: They're afraid of flying off the handle.

Q: What do witches put on their hair?
A: Scare spray.

Q: How does the witch know what time it is?
A: She looks at her witch-watch.

Q: What is a witch's favorite subject in school?
A: Spelling.

Q: What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
A: She witch-hiked.

Q: What does a witch kid want for Christmas?
A: A haunted dollhouse.

Q: Why do witches wear name tags?
A: So, they would know which witch is which.

Q: What do you call two witches living together?
A: Broom-mates.

Q: What does a witch ask for when she is in a hotel?
A: Broom service.

Q: What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A: A sand-witch.

Q: What do you call a motorbike that belongs to a witch?
A: A brrrooooommmm stick.

Q: Who was the most famous witch detective?
A: Warlock Holmes.

Q: Why does a witch ride a broom?
A: Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.

Q: What do you call a witch's garage?
A: A broom closet.

Q: What story do little witches like to hear at bedtime?
A: Ghoul deluxe and the three scares.

Q: What is a witch with poison ivy called?
A: An itchy witchy.

Q: Why did the witch give up fortune telling?
A: There was no future in it.

Q: What does a witch get if she is a poor traveller?
A: Broom sick.

Q: Why did the witch put her broom in the wash?
A: She wanted a clean sweep.

Q: What has six legs and flies?
A: A witch giving her cat a ride.

Q: What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital?
A: You'll soon be well enough to get up for a spell.

Q: What do witches race on?
A: Vroomsticks.

Q: Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat?
A: To walk across pool tables without being seen.

Q: Have you heard about the good weather witch?
A: She's forecasting sunny spells.

Q: What makes more noise than an angry witch?
A: Two angry witches.

Q: What do you get if you cross a flea and a witch?
A: Very worried dogs.

Q: How do you stop infection from witch bites?
A: Don't bite any witches.

Q: What do witches sing at Christmas?
A: "Deck the halls with poison ivy...."

Q: Why did the witch keep turning into Mickey Mouse?
A: She kept having Disney spells.

Q: Why did the witch wear yellow stockings?
A: Because her orange ones were at the cleaners.

Q: What usually runs in witches' families?
A: Noses.

Q: What happens to witches when it rains?
A: They get wet.

Q: What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch?
A: A bird that doesn't give a hoot.

Q: Why won't a witch wear a flat hat?
A: Because there is no point in it.

Q: What do you get if you cross a witch & an iceberg?
A: A cold spell.

Q: What do little witches do after school?
A: Their gnomework.

Q: What's a witches favourite film?
A: My Fear Lady.

Q: Why do witches get good bargains?
A: Because they like to haggle.

Q: What is the witches motto?
A: We came, we saw, we conjured.

Q: How do you make a witch itch?
A: Take away the "w".

Q: What do you call a nervous witch?
A: A twitch.

Q: What kind of tests do they give in witch school?
A: Hex-aminations.

Q: What do you get if you cross a witch with a millionaire?
A: A very witch person.

Q: How do witches on broomsticks drink their tea?
A: Out of flying saucers.

Q: What kind of jewellry do witches wear on their wrists?
A: Charm bracelets.

Q: Why didn't the witch sing at the concert?
A: Because she had a frog in her throat.

Q: What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?
A: Run!

Q: What happened to the naughtly little witch at school?
A: She was ex-spelled.

Q: Why should men beware of beautiful witches?
A: They'll sweep them off their feet.

Q: How do you make a witch float?
A: Blend two scoops of ice cream, and one witch.

Q: A witch who likes the beach but not the water is called?
A: A chicken sand_witch.

Q: Who went into a witch's den and came out alive?
A: The witch.

Q: Why do witches only ride their brooms after dark?
A: That's the time to go to sweep.

Q: Whats the difference between a broomstick and a pumpkin?
A: Ever tried broomstick pie?

Q: Why do witches wear pointy black hats?
A: To keep their heads warm.

Q: Why are black cats such good singers?
A: They're very mewsical.

Q: When is it unlucky to see a black cat?
A: When your a mouse.

Q: What do witches cats like for breakfast?
A: Mice krispies.


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