Mr. Wonderful Explains Current Events

3/01/00: Grade School Shooting
2/27/00: 3-Neck Glassware Illegal
2/25/00: Diallo Awakens Big Brother
2/24/00: Grammy's & Dyke Duo
2/23/00: Fed Employees Sue Pension
2/17/00: Grant Woods Exonerates O.J.
2/16/00: Harley's Switch to Trailers
2/16/00: Heywood Handcuffed
2/15/00: Illegal's Legal License?
March 1, 2000: Grade School Shooting Exposes Insanity
BM for the President
Yesterday afternoon, Mr. Wonderful was as shocked as anyone when he heard that a grade schooler died from a gunshot wound. Mr.Wonderful is guessing that either the shooter or both the shooter and the victim were black, or that the victim was white. This fact (that a white child did not shoot a black child-during "Black History Month" no less) snatched the marked race card out of President Clinton's cigar stained hands. However, this did not prevent the Big Mac® and Big Monica fan from screeching once again about firearms. I quote Mr. Clinton, "If we have the technology today to put in these child safety locks, why don't we do it?" In this case, the father of the shooter was in county jail (indicating a high moral profile) and the mother and the killer lived in a flop house with an 'uncle.' The police announced that they found another stolen shotgun at the flop house. That indicates that the .32 caliber pistol was also stolen. I ask our President, "Is it likely that a person who steals a handgun equip it with a child safety lock?" (May I remind my reader's, that unlike us, for the remainder of his life, former President Clinton will receive twenty four hour protection by armed Secret Service agents. Are their weapons also to be 'guarded' by child safety locks? And where might one purchase a child-safety-lock for a fully auto Uzi?)

February 27, 2000: Glassware DEA Deems Illegal to Own
3-Necked Flask.$65 each!
In Federal Court, last week, it was revealed to Mr.Wonderful by a D.E.A. agent (Drug Enforcement Agency) that it is illegal for a private citizen to own a "3-Necked Flask." It is illegal because a few people use it to manufacture the controlled and incredibly dangerous drug known as "Meth." For you people who trust the government to tuck you, your kids and your pets into bed at night, think about this. If it wasn't for the Second Amendment to the Constitution, how long do you think it would take before it would be deemed illegal for a private citizen to own a firearm, any firearm? After all, this illegal "3-Necked Flask" can, at its most horrible, only be used to distill chemicals. However a firearm, by design, can kill people. (And please, remember, whether laws be about guns or glassware, criminals never obey laws ... that is why they are "criminals!")

February 25, 2000: Judge's Gavel Awakens Big Brother 2000
In the Diallo vs. NYC Cop's case, the Federal Government may step in to 'correct' the verdict that they view as flawed. Understand, that if the decision reached by the Constitutionally appointed and sworn citizens of New York State, or any other state, doesn't align with the latest polling data snorted up the snout of this most evil Clinton/Reno administration, the FEDs may rush in. Note that when the 'not-guilty' O.J.Simpson verdict was pronounced, this administration was busy fighting for TV ratings, not for justice. (And what about the threatened riots by some American's of African heritage over this perceived injustice? Does anyone recall Blondes and Jews threatening to rumble at the 'not-guilty' judgment of the guilty double-murderer O.J. Simpson?) That law officers might prejudge dark-skinned individuals as probable criminals could be termed racist. (However, judging from the crimes proven committed by dark-skinned individuals that Arizona-based Mr.Wonderful has read about, and seen on TV, and been in judgment of in court, it does appear that these individuals are accused of crimes far out of proportion to their percentage of the population.) But my point today is, because American's have been gulled into the belief that the Executive Arm of our Federal Government has the Constitutional duty to correct wrongs committed by State-appointed juries, is that Americans will continue to witness partisan prosecutions and persecutions guided not by judicial process but by polling data and politically driven vendettas. Remember that a Republican Administration will have the same access to these, I believe, illegal methods.

February 24, 2000: Dynamic Dyke Duo Destroys Grammy's
I want to be a man!MW's Rosie Voodoo Doll
As Mr. Wonderful attempted to watch the sad Ellen Degeneres interview attendees outside the 2000 Grammy Awards Show, he marveled at the power of the gay-rights organizations. Racing out of my TV room, I turned and saw Ms. Degeneres approaching understandably skittish males, a sperm donor cup in one hand, microphone in the other. How funny, ha, ha. Once the show started I observed political activist and some-time comedian, Rosie 'I'm a Single Lesbian Mom' O'Donnell, rumble onto the stage, a K-Mart sticker on her ass. She was funnier than her idol Hillary Clinton. But then again, passing gas in a crowded elevator is also funnier than our Co-President. Male or female, gay or straight, black or flesh colored, conservative or Marxist, it doesn't matter the person's situation. It does matter whether they are entertaining and can appeal to a large segment of the audience. While Ellen can appeal to no one outside of a carpet convention, Rosie indeed can appeal to a large audience. However, Ms.O'Donnell, so encased in her political agenda, can no longer break free to be either funny or engaging. Hopefully the Grammy promoters can break free of their insane (and unprofitable) agenda and make the 2001 Grammy's a fun and entertaining production.

February 23, 2000: Federal Employees Sue! Too Much Pension Money
I read in the 2/22/00 W.S.J. that employees of the Federal Reserve Board who are forced to contribute 7% of their after tax income to their pension plan - but not Social Security, like you and I - are suing because there is too much money in the plan! They only need to have $2 billion but yet they have $5 billion. This 'overage' is 'blamed' on the fact that the "funds were invested in the stock market and elsewhere, not confined to government bonds, as in the case of Social Security." But those bastards in Washington don't want your Social Security dollars invested in the stock market! Too risky they say. When will you realize that your 7.5% FICA contribution that is forced out of your paycheck and the 7.5% that your employer coughs up (note, that this is a contribution that is 100% larger than mentioned Federal Reserve Employees)is not going to your pension, but is going to fund every dream, cause and/or outright give-away any Congressman can get his buddies to agree on?

February 17, 2000: Grant Woods Exonerates OJ Simpson
Tomato Faced Woods
Mr. Wonderful listened to KFYI this afternoon in amazement as Barry Young fan, Grant Woods, postulated because of recently exposed LA Police corruption, that OJ may indeed be innocent. It's too bad that he didn't voice this opinion when, Fred Goldman, father of the butchered Ron Goldman, was still with the station!

February 16, 2000: Harley Riders Switch To Trailers
The other day Mr. Wonderful watched in amazement as ten or twelve Harley riders swerved onto 7th Street and proceeded down the freeway entry ramp. 850 Norton Commando A Real Motorcycle Click to Enlarge. I didn't immediately discern the 'follow-truck' that inevitably trails any procession of these American-made motorcycles. Then, I chuckled as I picked out a small truck towing a three rail motorcycle trailer pacing the calvacade of noise and bolt spewing toilets. This trailer would be used when inevitably one or more of these Harley's broke down. (Click here to see my photos of crapped-out Harley's.) Let me explain: for over a decade, Mr. Wonderful raced motorcycles throughout the Southwestern deserts. Having raced KTM's, Honda's, Yamaha's, Montesa's, Ossa's, Husqvarna's and ATK motorcycles and having placed fourth, after fixing a flat, in the famous Barstow to Vegas competition and having ridden on the street, Yamaha's, Norton's, BMW's and currently a Moto Morini, I do have some serious motorcycle expertise. And my opinion is that the HD brand is the most over priced, ill-handling, overweight piece of absolute garbage on the road. People who ride Harley's, thinking they are on a real motorcycle, are the same doofs who purchase 300 horsepower, $40,000, front-wheel-drive 'sports' cars that can be easily be out-cornered by clapped-out Suburbans and VW micro-busses pulling U-Haul trailers. Har, har, har!

February 16, 2000: Liberal Jew, Hidden Gun-Toter
Yesterday, long time left-leaning liberal disc jockey, Bill Heywood was detained at Sky Harbor airport for attempting to board his flight with a firearm in his carry-on bag. I mention that Bill is Jewish because for some freakish reason, in these United States, most Jews are very anti-gun. You see, true to the definition of being a liberal, Mr. Heywood looks forward to the time when only government agents lawfully carry guns (like in pre-WWII Germany) but until then, he will continue to groan about all the armed red-necks, while he secretly packs his .22 caliber pistol.

February 15, 2000: AZ Senators Welcome Millions of Criminals
Old Fashioned License
Some moron or morons in the Arizona Senate wish to remove the requirement of producing an original birth certificate prior to receiving an Arizona Driver's License. Their argument is that if illegal aliens could get a driver's license they would purchase auto insurance. That's a real guffaw. The Senators are discussing individuals who, by definition, are criminals the instant they cross into the U.S. As a matter of fact, my 'compa' Alex T., states that the law in Mexico is, "That you must drive drunk." (Did I inform my readers that a BATF agent told MW that the largest and extremely violent, gang in the Valley is composed of 2,600 illegal aliens?) This anti-Birth Certificate move is just another avenue for the pro-Latino/Hispanic crowd to speed the immigration into the United States of all the current citizens of Mexico and Central America. I recall bringing my daughter's original birth certificate down to the local DMV office. It's not that big of a deal. However, if this move to dilute the generally accepted authenticity of Arizona drivers licenses is made law, Mr.Wonderful predicts the end of any merchants in any state accepting checks from anyone with an Arizona Driver's License. I would think this State's banking community and retailer's would be up in arms over this insane proposal!

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