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We all have our opinions of what moms should do. But what is it? Society collects these ideas and sketches a vast composite of "ideal motherhood."

What makes a good mom, anyway? Doing everything exactly right? Producing good kids?

Here are some common assumptions we've gleaned from our acquaintances. A good mom:

  • Appears instantly whenever any family member yells, "Mom!"
  • Knows exactly which garment each child wants to wear to school each day and has it washed, mended, and hung in the closet.
  • Never raises her voice
  • Nver leaves kids with a runny nose in the church nursery.
  • Never says no to the PTA.
  • Attends every T-ball and soccer game in hose and heels (fresh from the office, of course)
  • Keeps a regimented family schedule of Bible memorization

    • No wonder moms feel, at times, like failures. Television portrays one image of motherhood. Your kids tells you about a mother down the street, and your husband tells you "that's not the way I was raised."

    Many of today's moms find themselves caught in the vise of impossible expectations. Four basic motherhood myths account for most of the pressure:

  • Mothering Is Easy.
  • Mothering IS Natural.
  • Mothering Is Always Fun.
  • A Mother Is Repaid For All She Does

    • Setting aside the misconceptions and all the array of varying standards, where does a woman turn to find a sane list of expectations for being a good mother?

    One general outline for being a wife and mother is found in Proverbs 31. Many Christians women, familiar with the passage, will cringe at this suggestion.

    Let's focus in on the overall spiritual principles of this passage and set aside the cultural details of "wool and flax," "merchants," "maidens," "spindles," "vineyards," and "lightning lamps."

    The Proverbs 31 Woman:
  • Is Trustworthy (verse 11) Reliable. To be counted on. Consistent. Secure. Realistic.
  • Is Virtuous (verse 12) Morally excellent. Learns from past mistakes. Sticks to her principles. Works to understand the difference between what's good and what's not.
  • Is Generous (verse 15) Unselfish. Considerate. Kindhearted. Willing to give or share.
  • Is Wise (verse 16, 27)Perceptive. Intuitive. She's thoughtful. Shrewd. Uses well the knowledgeg she has. Aims for practical, God-honoring goals and uses the highest course available to achieve those goals.
  • Is Strong (verse 17) Stable. Sure of herself. Has the ability to withstand pressure. Possesses physical, emotional, as well as spititual stamina.
  • Is Dignifies (verse 29) Stands tall with grace. Poised.
  • Is Spiritual (verse 30) Knows some things are sacred. Fears God. Has experienced some of the gratness of God firsthand. Reverences her relationship with God above everything else.

    • Make a note of the qualities above that you and your family already recognise as part of you. Thank God for his part in establishing these merits in you. Ask Him for specific help in that area that makes you wince. We all have one (or more), so you're not alone.

    We're aiming for a pretty high goal: to be a good mom. But we need lots of those around if we're going to heal our families and our society.


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