Why a Shinji-Asuka Relationship Won't Work


Section 1: My opinion of Asuka:

As of March 25, 2001, I've re-watched most of Eva, and put this part into some semblance of order. I've also revamped my thoughts on Asuka.

I originally thought she was a man-eating, domineering, overly-competitive and easily depressed girl. My new opinion is that she is arrogant and selfish, but that's to cover her insecurities. She is also very competitive, since she uses Eva to prove to the world, herself, and subconsciously to her mother that she exists. Therefore, when her position at the top is threatened by people such as Shinji and Rei, she attempts to put them down any way she can so that she can feel like she's better than they are. However, if you look really carefully at Asuka, you can see someone nice inside. So in the end, though I don't admire Asuka, I don't hate her, either.

Also, I'd like to say that way too many anime fans have fallen into the "Ranma" definition of romance. That is, the instant anyone does anything nice to you, they are madly in love with you, they are your soul mate, etc.

NGE is not Ranma. NGE is much more serious, with more realistic character portrayals. And in the NGE universe, it is possible to do something nice for someone, without being in love with them. Keep that in mind.

Also, you may want to criticize me for duality, in that the same things I said mean Rei loves Shinji mean nothing when Asuka is concerned. I hold that I am not being dualistic. Rei and Asuka are two extremely different people. And, compared to the status quo, Asuka is more "normal", therefore little things that are significant for Rei mean much less where this girl is concerned.

If there's anything you want to add to this list, either for or against, an e-mail. I'll listen.

I also take this moment to remind you that these are my OPINIONS, though I do try to back them up with fact.


Section 2: Events from the series/movies that suggests a Shinji-Asuka relationship, and my retorts to them:


Episode 8:

-Shinji peeks in on Asuka while she's changing. Retort: Asuka had just dragged him off for apparently no reason, then taken cover and started making several rustling noises. He wanted to see what she was doing that was making so much noise.

-Shinji rides with Asuka in Unit-02’s first battle. Retorts: 1.) Didn’t Shinji look silly in that girl’s plug suit? I bet you Asuka was quietly laughing at him when she saw him wearing it. 2.) Asuka says herself that Shinji is coming along so he can get a first-hand view of her piloting abilities.


Episode 9:

-Shinji and Asuka were in the synch training together. Retorts: 1.) So? 2.) The series was due for some comic relief. Wasn’t it funny as hell when you heard Shinji (wimp) would have to live with Asuka (fireball) for days?

-The almost-kiss on the night before the 7th Angel. Retorts: 1.) A big part of the series is Shinji's search for affection. Here is an attractive female who has almost literally thrown herself at him. Any male in his position would react the same way. 2.) There's also the ego thing. Asuka's constantly putting him down. But Shinji felt that if he could kiss her, he could feel like he'd one-upped her in that respect. 3.) This scene was also to show that, although Asuka tries to act mature, she is still a kid (she calls for her mama).


Episode 10:

-That little thermodynamics lesson by the pool. Retorts: 1.) Asuka is showing off, saying that she's gone to college, i.e. she is smarter than the supposed pilot prodigy. 2.) She's teasing Shinji, trying to get a reaction out of him (hence why he's "boring" when he closes up). Misato's the same way. 3.) She's also trying to keep herself the center of attention. Note she calls out to Shinji right after his attention shifts to Rei.

-Shinji saves Asuka when she plummets into the volcano. Retort: Shinji might not love Asuka, but that doesn't keep him from being nice to her. He couldn't just stand by and watch someone he knew fall to their slow, horrible death.


Episode 11:

-Shinji looks forwards (and up Asuka's dress) while they're in the vent. Retort: He had to see where he was going! I seriously doubt he was thinking about sexual things; with a power outage and an Angel attack, he was probably just trying to get to his Eva so he could do his job.


Episode 12:

-Asuka's standing next to Shinji while they're receiving their orders. Retort: Check out the order they're standing in: Shinji, Asuka, then Rei. In other words, the 3rd, 2nd, and 1st Children, all in order.

-Asuka's tries to see if Shinji and Rei are close. Retort: More teasing on Asuka's part. She's torquing him to try and get a reaction out of him.


Episode 14:

-Asuka talks to Shinji while he's trying to synch with Unit-00. Retort: She was trying to break his concentration. You think she didn't know you need to concentrate to synch with an Eva? She's trying to sabotage his efforts to synch, so that she can remain the best pilot.


Episode 15: -Asuka compliments Shinji on his cello playing. Retort: As I said above, it's possible to be nice without being in love. In addition, Asuka doesn't play the cello, so she doesn't feel threatened by watching someone who can play it well.

-The "I’m bored"kiss. Retorts: 1.) Asuka really was bored. They show that fairly well. 2.) Asuka's been watching Shinji stare at Rei all day, i.e. his focus of attention has shifted off of her again. She needs other people to notice her in order to feel significant. 3.) She tries to get him to chicken out, with more teasing as they close in to kiss. 4.) She gets more ammo to tease him with, putting him down to feel better about herself.


Episode 16:

-Asuka compliments Shinji on being the best. Retort: She was being sarcastic. She feel threatened by Shinji passing her record like that.

-Asuka sounds genuinely afraid when she hears Shinji getting sucked into the 12th Angel. Retorts: 1.) Here's one of the few times where we see the nice person Asuka is. She might feel threatened by Shinji being the best, but she doesn't wish him dead. 2.) Note that afterwards, when everyone's assuming Shinji is still alive, Asuka is back to her old self, putting him down for trying to be the best.

-Asuka’s waiting with Misato when Shinji comes back out of the 12th Angel. Retort: She may have been there to be nice, but she asks Misato if she’s going to punish him. She wanted to see Shinji, the "number one" pilot, get put in his place.

-Shinji calls for Asuka before Rei when he’s being absorbed/been absorbed by the 12th Angel. Retorts: 1.) "Asuka" has less syllables than "Ayanami" pure and simple. Shinji was panicking, and wanted to get out the shortest name first, in the hopes that anyone would bail him out. 2.) "Ayanami" and "Misato-san" have the same number of syllables, yet he calls for Rei before he calls for Misato. He trusts Rei more than his surrogate parent.

-Asuka’s waiting outside the hospital room. She is embarassed when she is discovered. Retorts: 1.) Asuka was probably listening to see how Shinji was doing. Again, she can be a friend without being a romantic interest. 2.) Rei was there, too. My guess is that she was listening to see just how close Rei and Shinji are (i.e. if Shinji is going to start ignoring her and spend more time with Rei.)


Episode 17: -Touji’s "husband and wife" comment. Retorts: 1.) Listen to his voice. He's being sarcastic, teasing both Shinji and Asuka. He succeeds in embarassing them in front of the entire class. 2.) Alright, there’s no denying that Ritsuko said the same thing about Kaji and Misato, and that those two definitely got back together. But I don’t follow your logic : you’re saying that a fourteen year old jock is as observant as a trained and heavily experienced scientist? 3.) OK, so I said Touji made the comment about Rei caring for Shinji. The point is Rei AGREES with him, while Asuka/Shinji DISAGREE with him over his other comment. Get a grip!


Episode 19:

-Shinji mentions Asuka before he leaves. Retorts: 1.) Asuka was a friend, and he knew she'd probably have something to say. Note he was relieved when he heard Asuka didn't want to say anything. 2.) Asuka didn't even ask Misato to tell Shinji goodbye.

-Asuka mentions Shinji as she goes into battle with the 14th Angel. Retorts: 1.) Shinji's always been there to back her up when something goes wrong. And by this point, everyone was assuming Rei wouldn't be able to pilot. She feels a little insecure without any kind of backup. 2.) She then forgets about Shinji, saying that she can't lose again.

-Shinji is thinking about what Asuka said while he's in the shelter. Retort: Shinji is no longer a pilot, so then evac training would appear to apply to him again. Also, he's probably wondering if he made the right choice, i.e., is he stupid or not?


Episode 22:

-Shinji seems entranced by her when she's talking with her foster mother; he stares while she's not looking. Retort: Shinji envies her; she has a family (sort of). At that point, he didn't know that wasn't her real mother. And Asuka was able to talk so easily with her mother, while Shinji...well, we've seen how he gets along with Gendo.

-Shinji volunteers to go save Asuka while the 15th Angel is attacking. Retort: Much the same as with the lava Angel. He's hearing over the comm that Asuka is literally being killed, and he can't just stand back and watch someone he knows die.

-Shinji tries to talk to Asuka after the 15th Angel. Retort: Shinji’s a nice guy at heart, and wanted to make sure she was all right. He’d have been the same way towards anyone who’d been through that.


End of Evangelion:

-Shinji is calling for Asuka throughout End of Evangelion. Retorts: 1.) He says himself that Misato and Rei scare him. And we know that his school friends are gone. Asuka is, quite literally, the last person he goes to for help. 2.) He wants someone to talk to, and he honestly doesn’t care who, just so long as they listen and pity him. Hence the strangulation scene when Asuka doesn’t help him.

-Shinji goes nuts when he sees the condition of Asuka’s Eva in EoE. Retorts: 1.) As said above, Asuka was his last resort, the last person he had any tiny hope of talking to. Judging from the Eva’s condition, it would seem Asuka is quite dead, or at the very least stark raving mad from the pain. Shinji has just lost the last person that could even remotely be termed "a friend." 2.) Shinji's had to watch a lot of his friends get hurt by Evas. If you remember, he reacted similarly when he saw Touji in Eva-03's entry plug.

-Shinji masturbates over Asuka’s unconscious body in EoE. Retorts: 1.) OK, if you think that means love, you are a sick bastard. 2.) If he had any respect for her, i.e. loved her, he wouldn’t have done that. In comparison, look at his reaction when he accidentally gropes Rei. He has respect for her. 3.) He’s looking for any kind of comfort he can find. I think he’s about run out of ideas, by this point.

-Shinji is left alone with Asuka at the end of EoE. Retorts: 1.) Do you think he had any control over that? They were the only 2 humans in Evas during 3rd Impact, so it makes sense that they would survive. 2.) He tries to kill her.

-Asuka is gentle when Shinji’s trying to kill her, touching his face instead of fighting. Retorts: 1.) Asuka has also been through one of the most traumatic experiences of her life. It's a miracle she can even make herself move. She's probably still in shock, if nothing else. Shut UP, Asuka!

Section 2: Generalized comments, and popular reasons people have come up with to support an Asuka-Shinji relationship and my retorts to them :

-Shinji calls Asuka by her first name, but never calls Rei anything other than "Ayanami" Retorts: 1.) Shinji was crammed into an apartment with her for days. Like it or not, anyone in that situation would get to know the other person, to the point where you feel like going to a first-name basis. 2.) Asuka is more outgoing that Rei, so it's easier to be more casual around her.

-Asuka fights to protect everyone in EoE. She must have been fighting to protect Shinji especially. Retort: She had just found her mother, the true reason she pilots Eva in the first place. Finally able to synch with her Eva again, she wants to show her mother, as well as everyone else, that she's good enough.

-Asuka is very emotional, and will help Shinji be more outgoing. Retorts: 1.) Shinji’s a quiet guy, and no matter who you’re with, you can’t change who you are. 2.) I’m speaking from experience, here : loud people make reserved people draw more and more into themselves. 3.) More experience : Quiet people are drawn to each other. They find it easier to talk to each other.

-Asuka’s always arguing with Shinji. Retorts: 1.) Although I’ll admit this has been known to be an indicator of affection, some of us JUST LIKE TO ARGUE. I’m one of them. From what I see, so’s Asuka. 2.) Asuka has insecurities about who the best pilot is. By yelling at Shinji, she feels that she has won a victory over one of her competitors. 3.) Before you try pressing this point, remember how much she yells at/argues with Rei. If arguing means affection, then maybe Shinji isn't the one Asuka's REALLY going after.

-Shinji and Asuka are opposites. Opposites attract. Retorts: 1.) If you think laws of physics apply to romance and ANIME, you need your head examined. 2.) Actually, Rei is the opposite to Asuka. Right down to eye and hair color. 3.) Asuka is assertive and argues a LOT. A good match for her is a man who will argue back (Touji?). If you think Shinji (a.k.a. Mr. "gomen" is a strong man who likes to argue, you need your head examined.

-Shinji talks to Asuka more. Retorts: 1.) You call him mumbling and her chanting "baka" talking? 2.) Shinji tends to do what is expected of him. So if Asuka starts a conversation (something she often does to get more attention), he will talk back.

-Asuka's had such a crappy past, she deserves some love in her life. Retort: Hm, she has had it bad, but there's 2 other characters who haven't had it easy, either. I won't mention their names, but I know the girl gets strangled to death and is then reincarnated so she can pilot a robot that's continuously trying to kill her. As for the boy, he watches his mom get absorbed by a big mecha, and then gets abandoned by his father. I don't know about you, but compared to those two, Asuka's had it pretty easy.

And the NUMBER ONE reason I've found for why people think Asuka should get Shinji :

-Asuka's just so much cooler than Rei! Retorts: 1.) Uh...yeah. I probably couldn't change your opinion on this if my life depended on it. I'm a Rei fan myself. 2.) Coolness does not mean anything in terms of a relationship. 3.) Feel free to tell me just WHY Asuka is cool. Or are you afraid I'll strike you down?


Section 3 : Alternative ideas about the Shinji-Asuka relationship (This entire section was submitted by Ghost in the Shell):

(Note to Ghost in the Shell, should you be reading this : I modified this slightly so it's more readable, but I didn't change any of your reasons. Thanks a million for your ideas.)

There aren't many people on the net who actually have enough understanding of human psyche to realize that Shinji and Asuka do not want a partnership (in fact, I believe they tend to be like brother and sister) but Shinji and Rei DO!

My "brother-sister"-thing: If Shinji and Asuka have a relationship like brother and sister, this explains a lot: The fact that she always angers him, and that he saves her life anyways (or vice versa).

"OK, but that kills my opinion of her being jealous on Rei!" you might say, but not really. Also a sister can be jealous on her brothers girlfriend. I mean, Asuka needs Shinji, even if not as a lover. She feels lonely (sub-consciously) and just needs support which Rei could probably take away from her. And she's a 14/15 year old girl! Perhaps she just doesn't know the difference between a love and a family relationship! Just look at her past (her father actually found a new wife very quickly!). But in the final scene of EoE, she somehow realizes that shinji is more like a brother, which is why she gives shinji the caress like his mother.

The same from Shinji's perspective: Consider that he just developed some feelings for Rei (he cleaned her apartment, said she was a good mother and so on). Suddenly he finds out, that Rei is a man-made being! He sees MANY copies of her that actually laugh! A real shock! Sub-consciously he wonders if he's still sane, liking some sort of an angel (or a monster)! He learned that angels are bad and now this cute girl is one of them? What do you do in such a situation? Talking with her about that? Pfft! (He actually wonders if he should, but can't!) You go to a very close friend or a relative. His father? Nah! His friends? Hm, they're gone (and the theme is top secret also!). Misato? Maybe, she could be something like his stepmother, but she has her own problems and not all people prefer talking with their mother about love-affairs (bet shinji is one of them!) So what then? Sure! "Big-Sis" Asuka! And I don't want to declare Asuka as "last chance" or "last person". It's just logical that he goes to her!

But, of course, she's in a coma! The problems get worse and he finally manages to talk to her while HCP is in progress (the first scene in EoE in which he strangles her, i.e. the dream sequence). And then she tells him the only possible answer: She can't help him. He has to decide for himself.


And I said all that without once mentioning her crush on Kaji. Beat that.

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