God hurts those He loves...

    Welcome to my fics! Everything I write is Weiß Kreuz, to the exclusion of two short Advent Children ficlets on the drabbles page, and all but one of my stories is centered on a male-male pairing. I tend to shy away from fluff and happy things and stray more towards angst, and not all of the deaths will be marked.

    Fics are listed in order of publication/completion/updating. I wanted them in alphabetical order, but it makes more sense to do them chronologically, I guess, with most recently updated fics on top.

Questions, comments, death threats, flames, etc etc etc can be e-mailed to me @ mami_sama01@yahoo. XD~~~~~ On with the madness.



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Ficlets and All That Through Here

Paralyzer
   
Pre-WK Timeline. Schuldig is at the top of his game, leader of a high-ranked Infiltration team, until Rosenkreuz decides his talents are better used elsewhere and puts him up at Auction. Schuldig is not pleased to be losing his rank, but Schwarz has come knocking and Crawford refuses to take no for an answer. CrawfordxSchuldig
   Violence: low. Language: medium-high. Angst: low. Rating: NC-17. AT.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20 . 21 . 22 - END

The Illusion of Privacy
   Entry for the 2010 Weiss Day Fic Exchange, written for Firefun. Crawford & Schuldig have one last test to pass before they can graduate Rosenkreuz, but old rivals aren't going to make it easy for them. PG-13.

Hold
   Ficlet written for the Russian fandom shipping wars, CrawfordxSchuldig vs KudouxRan. A bittersweet reunion between Crawford and Schuldig. Pre-Kapitel. PG-13.

ALLES SCHWARZ     
   A multi-book arc following the lives of Rosenkreuz's strongest group of Talents from its creation through the end of the Gluhen series. In chronological order: Alles Schwarz, Eyes on Me, I'm With You, and Das ewige Dasein. Side Story Pieces of a Dream predates AS and continues through I'm With You. Arc Complete.
   Warnings: Violence, Yaoi, Het, Language, Angst, References to Torture & Abuse

Eines Tages
   
Eines Tages is a collection of 29 ficlets written as part of a meme for LJ friends. They range from PG to NC-17, with occasional AU and AT. There is one non-con ficlet in part 1. It is marked so you can avoid it easily. The ficlets are not related to each other, so you can skip them as you like and read them out of order. Multiple pairings.
1 ....

Reloaded
   The full version of the CrawfordxKen ficlet written for leveldevil in "Dark Chocolate". Crawford contracts Ken for Schwarz. Post-Gluhen. PG-13.

Zanzou
   A twisted sort-of rewrite of "The Better Cat"-- Schwarz is sent to retrieve Estet's missing memoripath. Written for Zanzou-chan on LJ. Rating: PG-13.

Parry
   Parry is an experiment between Amiko and myself. We started with the same pairing and same five prompts, but were to write our drabbles separate from each other. The point was to see how alike our minds thought. Her version of the drabbles is here. Rating: PG-13.

All You Wanted
   It's been a year since Weiß let Ran walk away. Now he's back in town, and he and Yohji have to figure out what they really want. Written for Baka Gaijin. Rating: PG-13.

Degenerate
   Just a short scene between Ran, Schuldig, and Crawford. Glühen timeline. Knowledge of the Glühen series not particularly necessary. Written for Cocos. Rating: PG-13.

Drache
   With Schwarz in little pieces, Schuldig is left to his own devices and finds entertainment where he can. A new city, a new job, a new home- and then everything changes when Fujimiya Aya walks through his door.
   Couple: SchuldigxAya-chan
   Comments & Warnings: Dedicated to Truth. There are no slash pairings or even slash hints in this story. Violence: Low-medium. Language: medium. Angst: medium. Rating: R. Incomplete.
0 . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 ...

Interlude
   
Pre-WK Timeline. CrawfordxSchuldig preparing for Takatori. Written for Daegaer as part of Weiss Day 08.
   Violence: medium. Language: medium. Angst: low.

Rebate
   Schwarz hires a telekinetic for a month. There are issues.
   Comments & Warnings: Foul language and racist remarks, yaoi, violence, etc. A messy sort of Nagi characterization. NxF. DISCONTINUED.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 ...

Sacrilege // Blasphemy

Post-Gluhen Timeline. Sacrilege is Farfarello x Ran. Blasphemy is Crawford x Farfarello x Ran. Written for Delfeus. Ran & Farfarello talk faith.
   Violence: low. Language: low-medium. Angst: low. Rating: R.


Dark Chocolate
   Result of a VDay 08 meme on Livejournal. 13 different pairings, slice of life / relationship ficlets. SxK, CxN, FxS, MamoruxN, OxS, AxO, AxC, CxK, FxK, CxS, SxY, YxC, FxN.
   Warnings: Language, Violence, borderline consent in one case, spoilers for the WK series from Kapitel to Gluhen.

Erode

Post-Gluhen Timeline. CrawfordxSchuldigxMamoru. Written for Zanzou-chan
   Violence: low. Language: low-medium. Angst: low. Rating: R.


Sympathy for the Devil
   Crawford is the man who knows everything, who controls everything. But when he makes a deal with Lucifer himself, it's a battle of wills he never expected. Fallen children, demons, and the devil to boot, and the stakes are higher than ever.
   Comments & Warnings: Dedicated to Deena. Violence: medium. Language: medium. Angst: medium-high. Rating: R. DISCONTINUED.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 ...

SYN: When You Gonna Learn?
   When Schuldich learns of his youngest teammate's involvement with Kudou Yohji of Weiss, he's not sure how to react. In the process of making life hell for the two he manages to get himself in over his head as well, and things are bound to get worse before they get better. SxYxN, background CxF
   Violence: medium. Language: medium-high. Angst: medium. Rating: NC-17. Dedicated to Muggins.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16

I m p r e s s
   Farfarello has just been assigned to Schwarz and it's Schuldig's job to take him on a test run. Schuldig isn't happy about being saddled with Rosenkreuz's pseudo urban legend. Farfarello isn't interested in making it easy for him.
   Comments & Warnings: Written for Shaded Mazoku as part of the Weiss Day Fic Exchange on LJ. Pre-Kapitel. Violence: medium-low. Language: medium. Angst: low-medium. Rating: PG-13.

SNAFU: The World According to Schuldig
   Crazy is as crazy does. Crawford's sort of insanity is contagious. Once it catches hold, how is anyone supposed to know where reality really lies?
Note: SNAFU = Situation Normal: All Fucked Up
   Comments & Warnings: Dedicated to Delfeus. Yaoi, Language, Violence, AT, AU, etc. Violence: medium-low. Language: medium. Angst: low-medium. Rating: R, not quite NC-17.
Intro . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20 . 21 . 22 . 23 . 24

The Weekend Meme
   12 pairings. One weekend. Pairings chosen for the fic by 12 lovely LJ people and they will go in the order they were requested. It's my job to get from one to the other in the course of the weekend, Friday night to Sunday night.
   Comments & Warnings: rapid-fire pairing jumping and mild characterization abuse. The second is a consequence of the first, if you'll forgive me for it. Yaoi, Language, etc. Rating: PG-13.
1 . 2 . 3

sich nach jemandem verzehren
   A collection of 16 ficlets written in response to a meme. There were three themes and any pairing between the 8 of Schwarz and Weiss, but those who answered the meme didn't know which theme or pairing they were picking. Part 1 has the first nine. Part 2 will have the last seven.
   Comments & Warnings: Written for several people, all named with their ficlets. All are yaoi, but the theme determines the language, angst, and violence rating. Thanks to Soleil Kitty for the title and to everyone who participated in the meme. ^__^
1 . 2

Gossamer
   All it takes is a lingering touch, a lingering glance. Some things can't be shared. Schwarz has already lost a lot, but there's a lot more left to lose.
   Comments & Warnings: Angst. FxC/CxF and SxC. Selfish, bitter assassins. Some Death.
0 . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8

Dirty Little Secret     
   Obligation wars with desire. The path that must be taken is not always the one the heart wishes to follow. Weiss-centric. (Surprisingly enough.) Rated somewhere between PG-13 and R. Sakura+Ran, RanxYohji.
   Warnings: Yaoi, Het, Language

White Bird
   After the collapse of Schreient, Yohji goes back to the collapsed building where Nagi and Tot lay. Only things aren't how he expected to find them, because Tot is missing and Nagi is still alive. Against his common sense, Yohji picks Nagi up and brings him home. A little story about life and choices and all that other stuff.
   Violence: mild. Language: mild. Angst: mild. Rating: PG-13


P.O.D. --- Payment on Delivery
   Ken's been having a horrible day. Yohji attempts to do something nice for him to make him feel better by ordering a mail-order lover for a week, but when the lover turns out to be a man by the name of Schuldich, the week is going to get a little out of hand.
   Comments & Warnings: Yaoi, Language, Mild Violence, AU, etc. Dedicated to Sidara! XD Violence: medium. Language: medium. Angst: medium. Rating: R/NC-17 depending
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 1314 . 15 . 16 . 17

The Reason
   Just a story about two men who find more than they expected to in each other, and what becomes of such a thing.
   Couple: SchuKen
   Comments & Warnings: Dedicated to Aion-chan. Please read the warnings before you read the fic. I'm actually happy with the story so far; I like the characterizations. Violence: medium. Language: medium. Angst: medium. Rating: R
Warnings . Prologue . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . Epilogue

Schism
   Omi has fallen to a point where he can't save himself. If his team cannot help him, then who can? Salvation comes from the unlikeliest of places, but the secrets they keep could be enough to undo everything again...
   Comments & Warnings: This is a story about depression, about violent mood-swings, and violence towards others and self. There is self-injury, bad language, and a characterization of Omi that I am twisting violently for the fun of it. Violence: medium-high. Language: medium-high. Angst: medium-high. Rating: R
0 . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . Epilogue

In Memory of the Future
   What do you do if someone demands something you cannot afford to give? A game of control and pride has a dangerous price...
   Couple: FarfCrawford, OC/Crawford
   Comments & Warnings: Dedicated to Kat Masters/Evil Kat. Non-con themes. Violence: medium-high. Language: medium. Angst: medium. Rating: R
0 . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8

GEFALLENE ENGEL
   The first fic I ever wrote for Weiss Kreuz was the first in the Gefallene Engel arc. The arc has been rewritten, taken from four fics and swirled into one complicated mess. This is the link to the new Gefallene Engel and the arc it sprang from.
   A nightmare from Schwarz's past has come back to haunt them, and Weiss is caught up in the middle of the life and death games. Schwarz was almost destroyed the last time they went head to head with Schatten; how can they possibly survive this time?    Warnings: Angst, Yaoi, Violence, Language, Sexual Situations Between Two Men, References to Abuse, Nonconsensual Sex.

Vaterunser
   One is born into a world of nightmares. The other is his only chance for salvation and sanity. But when hatred keeps them apart, can either of them be saved?
   Couple: FarfarelloSchuldich
   Comments & Warnings: Beta-ed by Amiko-neechan. Dedicated to Sidara. A lot of fun to write. XD mwahaha Violence: medium-high. Language: medium. Angst: medium. Disturbing Images, Gore. Rating: R/NC-17 (not sure if it qualifies for NC-17)
Intro . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20 . 21

My Happy Ending
   He's given the chance to believe in something he stopped believing in a long time ago. But is he brave enough to take the chance or will he leave again?
   Couple: YohjiSchuldich
   Comments & Warnings: Pointless and OOC. This fic was my attempt to try and write something happy, because all of my in-progs are angst fics. So. Something simple and sweet, and I'm in a love/hate relationship with this fic. It bugs me, but pieces of it amuse me, so I'm leaving it as is. Violence: non-existant. Language: mild. Angst: mild. Rating: PG-13

Gunning Down Romance
   When one has lost everything, how does he find the strength to carry on? A story of loss, love, and life in the aftermath of tragedy.
   Comments & Warnings: Schuldich and Ran centric, post series. Violence: low/medium. Language: medium. Angst: high. Rating: PG-13, I think.
Prologue . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 . 18 . 19 . 20 . 21 . 22 . 23 . 24 . 25 . 26 . 27 . 28 . 29 . 30 . 31 . 32

Sing for the Moment
   If you live to 70, you'll have over 2 billion moments. As an assassin, you're lucky if you make it to 30. What will you do with your moments? Will you take advantage of them or will you watch them slip away?
   Couple: CrawfordYohji
   Comments & Warnings: Dedicated to Amiko-neechan, a fic written in return for Tainted. It was a lot of fun to write, and this is the only NC-17 scene I've written that I actually like/ approve of/ don't want to cringe away in shame from. Violence: mild. Language: mild. Angst: mild. Rating: NC-17
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10

Alice
   Through the looking glass and into the fire�EKen wakes up to find out his life could have been different, cleaner. Only how clean is it, and will it be worth the past he knows to live in this future?
   Couple: SchuldichKen
   Comments & Warnings: Much love and thanks to Faraway4today for the summary~! This fic spawned out of the desire to try and write a believable SchuKen. Here's hoping it works. ^_^~ Rated R. Violence: mild. Language: medium. Angst: medium.
Introduction1234567891011Conclusion

Cry Me a River
   Farfarello's games tear everyone apart, and a confrontation between Schuldich and Yohji goes horribly wrong. Will they be able to recover?
   Couple: YohjiSchuldich
   Comments & Warnings: Written for Yaro-kun. This is a violent fic. It contains NON-CONSENSUAL SEX. If this bothers you, stay away. Rated R/NC-17 (Not sure if it qualifies for NC-17). Violence: high. Language: medium-high. Angst: high. Yaoi Level: Coffee.

Dolphins Cry
   Yohji will not just have his lover's body: he must have his heart as well. But will Aya return the love, or will Yohji lose him?
   Couple: YohjiAya
   Comments & Warnings: Songfic. This little fricker took almost 4 months to write. @_@ Some fics aren't worth it. Is this one? Who knows? Rated PG-13. Violence: none. Language: mild. Angst: mild.

Coffee and Biscuits
   Internal bickering is tearing Weiß apart. Ken and Omi are unable to control Yohji and Aya's fighting and begin leaving the shop to seek haven elsewhere. Omi's haven is threatened by the presence of a Schwarz, but his view on the American might need some rethinking.
   Couple: CrawfordOmi
   Comments & Warnings: Dedicated to Ami-chan (no, not Ami-neechan. The other Ami. o_O;). This story is fluffier than the other stories and is the side to Chocolate and Cream Puffs. Rated PG. Violence: none. Language: mild. Angst: nothing notable.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5

Chained to You
   Schuldich's mouth gets him in trouble with Yohji. Can either of them last the punishment of one week of separation?
   Couple: SchuldichYohji
   Comments & Warnings: Written for Amiko-neechan in exchange for the fic Crawling. She said no angst, so...no angst. ^_^ Just a simple, sort of lighthearted fic. Rated R? Violence: none. Language: mild. Angst: none.

Hunter
   One man is tormented by the life he has fallen into. He longs for freedom even as he knows there is no escape.
   Couple: Bah~ Guess
   Comments & Warnings: A songfic based on Dido's Hunter. You wouldn't believe some of the couple guesses I got for this one. o_O Short and simple. Rated PG-13. Violence: none. Language: none, I think. Angst: high.

Peace's Struggle
   Battle with self over and memory returned, Aya now must deal with Weiß. A stunning betrayal on the inside leaves the group hanging in the balance, and Weiß falls apart at the seems as Aya hangs between where he belongs and where he is needed. The fight for peace has begun.
   Couples: AyaCrawford, SchuldichFarfarello, OmiNagi hints
   Comments & Warnings: The sequel to Temporary Peace. Rated R. Violence: medium. Language: medium. Angst: medium.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12 . 13 . 14

Once in a Lifetime
   Two men, too much alike yet inverses of each other, meet in a final confrontation. One has the power to change everything he is and will become. Will he take this only chance to get what his heart longs for?
   Couple: Schuldich/Yohji
   Comments & Warnings: A songfic based on Sarah Brightman's Once in a Lifetime, dedicated to Carmen. When she first gave me the lyrics and gave specifications for the fic, I thought it would be easy. Then I heard the song, and it was a pretty song. o_O That intimidated me, since it's not a pretty fic. Even so, this is one of the few times I am completely satisfied with how Schuldich came out. Rated R. Violence: high, non-consensual play. Language: mild. Angst: medium.

Temporary Peace
   A mission gone wrong takes an even sharper turn towards the surreal when it lands Crawford and an amnesiac Aya together. Kept for entertainment, Ran begins to get a new perspective on Schwarz- especially Crawford.
   Couples: CrawfordAya, SchuldichFarfarello.
   Comments & Warnings: BradRan~ waiii ^_^ hee Dedicated to Keeper of Chaos, who gave me the storyline over chat one day. Rated PG-13. Violence: mild. Language: mind. Angst: mild.
1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12

Chocolate and Cream Puffs
   Bickering between Yohji and Aya tear the group apart, forcing Ken and Omi to flee the shop in search of peace. Ken is surprised to see his haven invaded by a member of Schwarz. His refusal to back down and give the place up to Nagi takes a turn neither expected.
   KenNagi, YohjiAya, CrawfordOmi hints, SchuldichFarfarello hints
   Comments & Warnings: A fluffy fic (o_O!) written for Olivia, who put the KenNagi request on wkff. A simple 3-parter that I am satisfied with for its stray from violence and angst. =p Rated PG-13. Violence: mild. Language: mild. Angst: mild.
1 . 2 . 3

The Better Cat
   Omi was abducted by Schwarz and torture-interrogated for a gift he did not know he had. Passed off as hopeless and left for dead, Omi managed to survive and fled Japan for seven months. Now a changed Omi is back, and he is ready to play a game with Schuldich. This time, however, they'll play by his rules.
   Couples: OmiSchuldich, SchuldichNagiOmi, SchuldichNagi
   Comments & Warnings: I am not satisfied with how this fic ended, nor am I satisfied with the style. My fingers itch to rewrite this thing and make it so much better, and I plan to one day. Rated R. Violence: high. Language: medium. Angst: high, references to torture.
Prologue . 1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . Epilogue

Rain
   Aya and Ken dance in circles, in love with each other but unable to admit it or see it reciprocated in the other. As the courage rises to finally reach out and offer themselves, a mission is handed to Weiß. Can they overcome their fears to find love in each other's arms, or will they be torn apart by the cruel hands of fate?
   Couples: AyaKen, YohjiOmi hints
   Hate the couple, like the fic. ^^ Dedicated to Carmen, who asked for it. ^_^ Rated R. Violence: high. Language: medium. Angst: high, character death.