SYN: When You Gonna Learn?
Schuldich's brilliant plan formed the second Kudou stepped through the door to the office he was waiting in, and he knew immediately that Farfarello was probably on to something with his warning. Blue eyes looked up from the files he was playing with and he peered at Kudou over his shoes where they were propped up on the expensive desk. Kudou came through the door with his wire in his hands, but instead of tensing at the sight of one of Schwarz, his shoulders just relaxed and his wire slid back into the watch. Schuldich decided he was insulted to not be seen as a threat. Just because Kudou was fucking Nagi didn't mean that the rest of Schwarz would hesitate to kill him.
Just because Kudou was fucking…
"Give me a reason why you're fucking Nagi," he said.
Kudou took another step into the office and leaned against the doorframe, green eyes considering Schuldich across the room. "Give me a reason to tell you," he answered.
Schuldich gave him a slow smile and looked back at the paperwork, sifting through the first few pages. He let blue eyes skim the printed kanji without registering what any of it said. "I'm just curious," he said. "I'm wondering what you saw in a sixteen year old scrap of a telekinetic. For all that you proclaim to be as sexually moral as a Jappo can be, you sure have some whacked tastes."
"Some telepath," Kudou said with a sigh, and he reached out and caught the doorknob.
Schuldich reached out and set the files down on the desk. He laced his fingers together behind his head and arched an eyebrow at Kudou. "You talk as if you know how this is supposed to work," he said. "I'm sorry to not live up to your expectations, of course."
"Nagi explained it to me," Kudou answered, and Schuldich was so startled by the words that he didn't really notice Kudou shutting the door. "Months ago, you know. Back when we first got together. Your gift is one of the reasons we're together, actually." He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his overly long coat and started across the room towards the desk. Schuldich watched him come with his smirk frozen on his face, his blue eyes sharp.
~Nagi, I'm going to *kill* you. No, Crawford would never let me kill you and get away with it. But this…? I make my living by crushing people. I make their ambitions fall short; I shatter their dreams. I take away everything they hold dear and have begun to care about.~
~You like Kudou?~
~I'll take him away from you.~
"Give me a reason why you wouldn't fuck me," Schuldich said, drawing his shoes back from the desk as Kudou reached it. The other assassin stopped on the other side and Schuldich could see his surprise at the words. The other's mouth thinned slightly and his eyes narrowed as he considered that haughty request, and Kudou tilted his head to one side in thought. Schuldich pressed up against his mind, listening to the idle observations, and he wasn't sure whether to be amused or wary that Nagi appeared nowhere in the other's considerations.
He had the distinct impression that he had no clue what he was getting into, but he didn't care. It made sense in his mind. The numbers worked out.
If he fucked Kudou, Nagi would hurt him. But if Kudou picked Schuldich…? What then?
"Well?" Schuldich asked.
And there was Nagi at last: "Because Nagi would not be happy with either of us," he asked, "and I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say it'd ruin your chances with him."
"There you go again with that," Schuldich said, amused. "Where'd you take your lessons in psychology from? They're quite fucked up."
"Where'd you take your lessons in denial from? They're quite impressive." But Kudou was coming around the desk, and the Weiss assassin stopped beside him to consider the German. Schuldich said nothing, instead turning an expectant look on him, and Kudou stood in silence for a minute as he worked through the rest of his second thoughts. At last Kudou's expression relaxed and he lifted one hand to his mouth, catching his glove between his teeth to tug it off. "Fine," he said.
Schuldich's mouth curved into a wide smirk and he pushed himself up. "I knew you'd come to your senses," he said, but he forgot the rest of his taunt when Kudou reached out to touch a bare hand to his face. It took him a moment to remember that he had asked for that; he started to tilt back out of reach before he caught himself.
Kudou said nothing about the move and Schuldich decided the other hadn't noticed. Instead the Balinese let his glove drop to the ground, pressing his palm to Schuldich's cheek. Fingers curved over warm skin and he leaned forward to kiss the shorter German. His mouth was hot and hard and soft all at once, and his hand slid to cup the back of Schuldich's neck. The German could feel himself tensing at such a possessive hold and he struggled to relax, green and blue meeting over their kiss. Kudou pressed a smaller kiss to the corner of Schuldich's mouth and then lifted his other hand to his mouth to get rid of that glove as well.
~When's the last time you had sex, Schuldich?~ Kudou sent at him.
Schuldich feigned not to hear him.
Kudou spat the glove off to one side and reached forward with his free hand, moving Schuldich's jacket aside. Two hands on the collar pushed it down over Schuldich's shoulders and the German could feel breath on his throat. "You're so awkward. When's the last time you let someone fuck you?" the Balinese wanted to know, and Schuldich wondered at the way his voice had changed. He wasn't the uncertain, angsting assassin of Weiss. He wasn't the playful florist of the Koneko no Sumu Ie. This was the voice that went with that dark smile and heated gaze; this was liquid heat.
It took Schuldich a moment to decipher the reasons behind that. While Kudou was an assassin, too many things were up for grabs in a fight for one to be one hundred percent sure that they were going to be okay. Kudou had it in him to be an assassin but not what it took to be a killer; there was a crucial difference there. As a florist, Kudou's existence was a series of charades, of someone who had no cares in the world and who had the liberty to flirt shamelessly with his customers.
This was something Kudou understood inside and out. This was what he was and nothing could touch him here.
"When was the last time you let someone fuck you?" Kudou asked again, fingertips dancing over Schuldich's chin. "You don't seem the type."
"You talk too much," Schuldich told him.
Kudou just gave him a smile and kissed him again, and fingers were moving down his sides. The heat of his hands soaked through Schuldich's thin cotton shirt and the other's hands settled just briefly on his hips. It was a quick hold as he deepened the kiss and Schuldich was glad for the brevity. Weiss didn't have permission to have such a proprietary hold; no one did. He was Schuldich the Mastermind. Kudou should count himself lucky that Schuldich was allowing him this.
He lifted his hands, hooking them in the pockets of Kudou's coat, and he saw the other smile briefly before there were lips on his throat. Schuldich's mouth was open for a smart remark when Kudou moved, and he promptly forgot whatever it was he'd been about to say. Kudou pulled the telepath forward; bodies pressed together and Kudou ground against him.
Fingers twisted in Kudou's coat; Schuldich thought he heard thread pop. He knew he heard Kudou laugh at him, just a quiet sound at his ear, at the way his breath stuttered. Schuldich scowled, annoyed at being laughed at, and started to push back away from him. Kudou didn't let him go; fingers buried themselves in the telepath's back pockets to drag him forward again and teeth bit down on his throat almost hard enough to break the skin. He heard a strangled sound and he hadn't had the chance to realize that that noise was from his own throat before Kudou was moving again, and this time the white assassin didn't stop.
Fingernails over skin several shades darker than his own, moving up to tangle in honey locks. Hands hot and heavy, tugging at buttons and pushing a shirt out of the way. Schuldich wasn't sure when he'd been turned to put the desk at his back but he could feel the edge of it pressing into his tailbone. He decided he didn't care.
Hands slid up his sides and chest; thumbs skimmed over nipples where they'd been exposed to the cool office air. Breath hissed through clenched teeth and Kudou nipped his lower lip hard enough to draw a curse from him. Kudou just laughed, leaning down, and Schuldich almost forgot his irritation when wet heat closed around one nipple. Kudou's hands caught his and the other pressed them against the desk as he worked at sensitive flesh, and Schuldich was content to clench his fingers around the edge.
The other man straightened and took a half-step forward, molding their bodies together. Lips grazed one ear and he could feel the other's smile against his face. "You're doing this for all the wrong reasons," Kudou told him.
"Your telepathic skills put mine to shame," was Schuldich's dry answer.
"I'm just telling you now that I know you'll hate me later," came the careless response, "and that I don't care."
A hand pressed against the front of his pants, cupping the heat there, and fingers squeezed. Schuldich couldn't stop himself from giving a small jerk; one hand flew up from the desk to latch onto Kudou's coat. A tongue traced the shell of his ear and Schuldich tilted his head away from the brush. Kudou responded by biting down on his neck again and clenching his fingers almost painfully tight. Schuldich heard the curse before he knew it was his; he didn't know his voice could twist like that and he wasn't sure he wanted to hear it again.
"Fuck," Kudou breathed at his ear, flexing his fingers. "Like that, don't you?"
Schwarz's telepath managed a shaky exhale and he felt his knuckles creak as his fingers tightened on the desk. He was pretty sure there would be an indent along the base of his fingers for weeks, but he couldn't let go. At last Kudou relaxed his hand, but only long enough to catch at the button and zipper keeping his pants closed. Schuldich wasn't really sure how the other got them open one handed, but it took both of his hands to get them down over the telepath's hips to the floor. Schuldich toed out of his shoes at the other's murmured command and propped himself against the desk to kick his pants off to one side, and Kudou offered him a lazy smile that was all heat.
~This is not a good idea.~
Schuldich wasn't sure where the thought came from or which of them it belonged to, but it was too late for either of them to do anything about it. Kudou's mouth was on him again, possessive and hot, and fingers were almost bruising as they worked their way over bare skin. Schuldich was starting to wonder if Kudou was going to take anything off when a hand settled on the erection between his legs, and such inane thoughts evaporated. He felt his breath freeze in his lungs and for a moment everything in the room stopped.
Then Kudou's hand started to move, and Schuldich wished he would have choked on his groan. It was swallowed in Kudou's kiss but the other heard it without a problem, and Schuldich heard his answering thought just as clearly: ~Let me hear you. I want to hear that you like it.~
~No,~ he thought, and he wasn't sure if the thought stayed within his own head or spread over to Kudou's. There was almost a savage edge to it that surprised him and he gave up on holding onto the desk, tangling one hand in Kudou's hair and the other in his coat as fingers worked him.
~Get out of here.~
He'd lost track of Kudou's other hand, but he thought he heard plastic crinkling over the sound of their ragged breaths. He was down to just a cotton shirt but he was still hot, and he didn't know how Kudou could stand to be fully dressed. The heat was choking, pressing in on him on all sides, as his nerves caught on fire all through his body. He could feel his body tightening up as Kudou's fingers stroked expertly over him, and Schuldich had the random, fleeting thought that he could finally understand why even someone as proper as Crawford could be bowed by something like this.
"I can see me on my knees," Kudou murmured at his ear, and the warm breeze of his breath sent ragged shivers down Schuldich's spine. "If you don't kill me, that is. I can see me on my knees in front of you on another night, in another room, sucking and licking to drive you mad. Can you see it, Schuldich?" A thumb pressed down hard on the head of his erection, wrestling a strangled yell from him, and Schuldich wasn't really sure when he'd started leaning against Kudou. Was he leaning against him? He couldn't tell where Kudou ended and he began; they were pressed together so hard and at some point Schuldich's face had ended up buried against the black leather of Kudou's jacket.
Kudou's tongue traced his ear again and just the thought of that wet heat made Schuldich groan. He hated the sound of it, hated that Kudou had gotten such a reaction, but his thoughts had split along two separate paths: the logical and the one that was responding to what Kudou was doing to him- what Schuldich had given him permission to do.
What was he letting Kudou do, he wondered wildly, except take his common sense and control away from him? What was he doing except letting Kudou do what he wanted, except letting Kudou see him like this?
~Get *out* of here.~
"Fuck, I can almost hear you moaning," Kudou murmured, and Schuldich's lips parted on a ragged pant. "I can see you twisting against the sheets, fingers clutching at anything you can find for support. Fingernails on skin hard enough to draw blood; knuckles white around a headboard."
A hand slid down his spine and Kudou hooked it behind one thigh, lifting his legs in the pull. "Around my waist," he said, and Schuldich did as he was told even if he could only remember half of the reasons behind such obedience. "This is going to hurt, you know," Kudou warned him conversationally as his hand slowed down, and then fingers were sliding inside of him. Schuldich gave a jerk at the feel of such a bold invasion and Kudou laughed at him, pressing his cheek to Schuldich's. "It's going to hurt at first, but it'll get better."
"Whatever," Schuldich said, because it was all he could think of, and Kudou kissed his temple.
"Don't think about it," the other man told him. "That's the up of it, right? Let me drive you to a madness where your gift means nothing; let me push you to a place where no one's thoughts can reach you. Just you and me and some hot sheets in between."
That was about the moment that Schuldich realized he had just made a huge fucking mistake.
His mouth was open to protest; his fingers were curled in Kudou's jacket ready to push him back. But Kudou was already moving. He'd slid his hand free and now his hands were on Schuldich's legs, spreading them further as he pushed forward. Schuldich's protest came out an incoherent sound at the heat that was pressing into him, hard and hot and unwanted.
~No. You can't have this.~
~Not you. You're Weiss. You're *Weiss*.~
"It'll get better," Kudou murmured at his ear, and Schuldich realized then that he'd flinched at the sharp pain. Blue eyes flew open when he realized they'd fallen shut and he found himself staring up into Kudou's face, but the understanding in those green eyes had nothing to do with the words or the jerk and everything to do with the flash of panic in Schuldich's gaze.
"You asked for this," Kudou reminded him, and he crushed his mouth against the German's. Schuldich reached up to grab at his face, ready to push him away, but Kudou caught his hand halfway there and started to move.
~You're Weiss. You don't have the right to do this to me. Not to *me*.~
He wasn't sure anymore if the hands that were fisted in Kudou's jacket were there to shove him away or there because Kudou was moving in him and it hurt. The realization of just what exactly he had done had caused him to tense up around the Weiss assassin and despite the whispers at his ear to relax, it was impossible. Teeth clenched hard enough to hurt his jaws and Kudou kissed his way down his throat, fingers working at the soft skin of his sides before sliding down once more between his legs.
~Listen to me,~ Kudou sent him, sounding firm. Schuldich wanted to tell him to fuck off but he wasn't sure what his mental voice would sound like. He saw no reason at all to touch Kudou's mind. ~Listen to me,~ Kudou insisted again. ~I want you to hear it.~
He sucked in a sharp breath through clenched teeth and bridged the distance between their minds, reaching past his own consciousness to touch Kudou's, and he would never be sure whether or not that was a mistake.
Heat and flushed skin and pain and lust and need-
And fuck it felt so good and look at the look in his eyes-
Fingers twisting and pulling in hate and need and something more-
Guess you bit off more than you could chew, huh?
Schuldich forced his lips into a smirk he didn't feel, showing his teeth through his lips as he tangled his fingers in Kudou's hair tight enough to hurt. Teeth and lips and tongue and he let himself listen to Kudou's mind, forced himself to blur the line between them because it was the only way he knew to relax. And slowly it was easier and it didn't hurt so much, and then Kudou shifted and *pushed* and everything changed.
He cursed against Kudou's mouth, a sharp, breathless sound, as he felt every nerve in his body come alive screaming. He wasn't sure if it was pain or pleasure or something more than such silly conventions, but it sent heat through his veins every time Kudou hit it.
Heat and lust and need and want and pain and death and you're going to hate me in the morning for this but for tonight you're mine-
End over end and it spiraled out of control, taking them up and bringing them down. They came with their mouths locked together and Schuldich's fingers in Kudou's hair, and they stayed like that for a few moments, breathing in and out of each other as they tried to catch their breaths. At last Kudou leaned back, pressing a kiss to Schuldich's temple before sliding his hands down his thighs, and he pulled free and stepped back. Schuldich let go of his hair to switch his hands to the desk as his foot touched the ground again and he gazed up at Kudou where the other man stood just a short distance away.
"I'm assuming Schwarz came here because they've already taken away what I was sent for, so I'm going home," Kudou said, fixing his pants. "Good night, Schuldich."
And just like that, he turned and left, and Schuldich didn't have the wits to call anything after him. He watched as the door swung shut behind the other assassin and then he was alone with nothing but a tightness in his chest and a dawning, sick sort of realization in his mind.
His hands were shaking when he reached for his clothes, and he told himself it was because he needed a cigarette and a drink.
Farfarello was waiting for him at Pandora's bar when he showed up, just as he'd said he would be.
Back to Mami's Fics