Jan-ken PUNCH!

By Reid M. Haynes

Disclaimer: Dragon Ball/Dr. Slump are the properties of Akira Toriyama, TOEI ANIMATION, and various other companies, as well as all characters within. I am using them without permission, and I am making no money off of them.

Legend:
{ } Denotes sound effects.

Tale 2: Red Ribbon's Red Button, Part 2

*****

"Ugh, what a drop," Goku commented, brushing his hair free of the stray debris formed from his earth shattering crash. "Never knew jabbin' at crap could cause all this."

"No need to worry now," Arale commented with a slightly disappointed accent. "Unchi-kun's gone ka-poop." She looked down at the flattened mound of plop, and sadly shook her head.

"Oh well," the boy shrugged, picking up his fallen Nyoibo and thrusting it into his sheath. "Might as well get outta this place."

"Yeah," she agreed, and turned away from her broken toy. "There's not much stuff t' play with anyway."

Arale's analysis was pretty right on, judging from the general surroundings. The trapdoor they had fallen into had brought them to a dank, stone cavern, carrying odors very much similar to the outhouse, though that might only have been the presence of the flattened Unchi-kun. But unlike the outhouse, the chamber carried no objects of interest; just a door, and our hero and heroine.

Goku walked over to the exit, with Arale trailing close behind. He opened up the doorway and stepped through, entering a new hall. Then he stepped right back out, and went to fetch his friend, who was turning circles trying to find the door. Holding onto her wrist, he led her carefully through the door, and resumed traveling through.

The passage the duo shared was a bit more charitable than the previous room, though not more interesting. Cold looking walls, cold looking floors, and doors, doors, doors, all lined up in sequential order, an epitome of boringness.

Goku and Arale glanced from side to side, trying to figure out which way to go. It was a bit of trouble, though, since pretty much everything looked exactly alike. The whole place was organized in a way that every hall looked like every other hall, differentiated only by the codes on each of the doors: A102, B703, X850...

"Hoyo?" Arale asked suddenly. "What's that red thing?"

She pointed out at a door, and Goku turned to take a look. Painted on the wood in large, red letters was the words: "TOP SECRET: KEEP OUT!"

When he relayed this back, Arale burst out with a bright smile. "I bet there's a lotta neat stuff there!" she bubbled enthusiastically. "Let's go see!"

"Are you sure," Goku asked her hesitantly. "I mean, it looks like we're not supposed t' go in there."

But the girl had already dashed through, the door swinging behind to slam against the wall with a {BAM!}, leaving several cracks embedded within. Goku stared after her for a moment more, then shrugged, "Oh well," and followed her in.

*****

"Oh hell!" the soldier called out at the images on the monitor. "They're in!"

The mystery man smiled softly. "Hmm, interesting," he said, folding his arms. "Now the plot thickens."

The soldier looked at him, almost disgusted in his superior's reaction. "Sir, they've entered the restricted area," he said, his voice rising a few decibels. "Who knows, they might even find it!"

"Let them find it," he responded coolly, leaning back in his swivel chair. "It'll be the perfect place to try them out." The boss swept his hand causally to his side and picked up a hot cup of Oolong tea. "Finally," he breathed through the steam. "We have the perfect test dummies for our new items."

He took a small sip.

*****

The new chamber was even more darkly lit than the hallways before it. Only a few flickering lights buzzed overhead, barely lighting the concrete floor below it. A shame too, because there was a lot more to see in this room.

The room was filled wall to wall with massive assortments of forbidden weaponry. Rocket launchers, molotovs, even a small tank, it was all here, cluttering up so much space that there was only a small space to navigate.

"Huh," Goku spoke quietly, taking it all in. "Look's like she was right after all." He walked down the asile, glancing left and right at the various machine guns, grenades, land mines, etc. Nothing he would use in combat, but he guessed it could be useful to someone not fighting a really strong opponent.

"I wonder where Arale-chan is?" he murmured to himself, trying to look beyond a large bomb. 'Hope she hasn't tripped on anything..."

And in answer to his silent question..."

"Goku-kun! I found something!" a shrill voice called out from his immediate left. "Come, come!"

Turned to the sound, the boy spied a second path cutting through the materials, leading to an open doorway some distance away. Quickly picking up the pace, he jogged on up to the intersection and quickly made his way to the shining light of the door way. As the light hit his face, he took a quick look at the new surroundings. And found them to be of considerable interest.

The room was as bare as the room they had landed in at the start, with only a wooden table in the center, a small overhead lamp above it, and of course Arale, standing closely beside it. But on the top of the table, shrouded in spotlight, was something much, much more. True, it was a rather small; about 2 inches in diameter, with a flat, cylinder shape. But by the eye catching luminescence of its color, and the shear fact of what it actually was, gave it the appeal and attractiveness of a snowman's mass in gold.

It was a red button.

"Looky looky Goku-kun!" Arale babbled, pointing out. "It's a shiny red button!"

Goku walked over to the table "Hmm...it does look like a button," he reasoned, turning to her. "But what should we do with it?"

"Its a shiny button!" the girl reiterated, grinning eccentrically. "Let's press it!"

"Press it?" Goku wondered, as if the idea of pushing a button was totally new to him. "Well...I guess so," he decided after a short moment. "What harm could it do?"

"Yay!" Arale raised one hand, and sent her index bolting toward the button. "Press press!"

Both of them watched the finger make contact.

{BLONK!}

And then, for one moment in time, everything was frozen.

Goku's look of expectance. Arale's look of excitement. This moment stretched out for hours.

Then days...

Weeks...

And finally, time resumed.

Goku and Arale stared at the button for another second. Then they blinked.

"It...it didn't do anything!" Goku exclaimed, his mouth hanging open. "It's a dud!"

Arale threw up her arms in frustration. "This place is a bore!" she called out to the concrete walls. "Even the shiny red buttons do nothing!"

"Fools..."

"Hoyo...?" Arale glanced all about her. "What was that?"

Both of them turned to the sound of the voice, which turned out to be a small loudspeaker positioned in the celing corner. "Heh heh," a low male voice chuckled from its wiry depths. "You don't know anything about electronics, do you? The red button dosen't do anything on its own. It's useless trying to activate a device without the machine connected to it. However..." His pitch slowed into a modulated drawl. "I have some gadgets that work just fine without switches, which I will be introducing to you shortly."

"Why are you talkin' inside that box?" Goku asked, looking up at the speaker. "Didja fall in one of those tiny holes?"

"That's not important!" the voice snapped at him, spit somehow emitting from the box. "What's important is the mean, destruction machines that I'm about to unleash upon you!" The voice calmed itself with a slight chuckle and regained its cool cackle. "Prepare yourself...' it said snidely. "...for the MJ2000s! Good luck."

The speaker then clicked off.

Goku and Arale searched the room, alert for any surprises. They checked the open doorway, and glanced out to the weapons room, waiting to see if any of the tanks would be deployed against them. Yet nothing happened, and the room continued to be as quiet as ever.

Goku looked back and forth, folding his arms. "Is somethin' supposed t' happen?" he asked, half to himself.

"Boring!" Arale complained, rolling her eyes.

{DAKOON!!!}

Suddenly, the cement wall burst open with a titanic crash. Chunks of rocks bolted out from the jagged hole, coming mere inches from pelting the two kids. Each piece shattered against the room's opposite end, the small shards embedding themselves within.

Both of them turned in surprise at the broken bits, and their eyes widened. A mysterious light was surrounding them, reflected from outside the room. Bright white, and unnatural.

They turned back to the hole.

And faced their new opponents.

From out of the newly created entrance came three strange robots, arranged in single file. Each of them were shaped as upright frogs, with a green metallic surface emulating amphibious skin. On their heads they wore identical black top hats, and in their "hands" they carried long canes. Their corneas were like slick, cue balls, and in the center glowed tiny pinpricks of red.

And their saggy maws were opening, revealing brilliantly shining incisors.

Then, they began to sing and dance.

MJ2000 A: (kicking legs) "Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal...!"

MJ2000 B: (spinning cane) "Send me a kiss by wire..."

MJ2000 C: (raising hands) "Baby, my heart's on fiiirrreee!"

Goku and Arale stared at these robots at they continued to perform, blank expressions on their faces. "..."

MJ2000 A: "If you refuse me, baby you lose me..."

MG2000 B: "Then you'll be left alone...!"

MG2000 C: "Oh baby, telephone..."

MG2000 A, B, + C: (with arms around each other) "And tell me I'm your owwnnn!"

And as quickly as they started, the frogbots reverted back to a comatose state. "Rrriiibit."

Goku continued to gaze at the MJ2000's, his eyes like medusa's gaze. "Hoyo..." he mumbled quietly, cocking his head to the side.

{ZZMMM!!!} a slick, red cable shot from one of the robot's open mouths, streaking towards Goku's head. "Whaa...!" The boy ducked just in time, and the weapon flew over his head and "THTOK" ground six feet into the concrete wall behind him.

The other two MJ2000's, A and C, were now opening their mouths.

So Goku made up his mind. "Let's roll!" he called out, grabbing Arale and tucking her under his arm.

{SHZZZAAAMMM!!!} Red tongues slurped out of A and C's mouths, springing together on a path to the two teenagers. But Goku was already ahead of then, and carried him and his friend into a leap that left the two robots tasting dust. Tilting his momentum, the martial artist swept backwards to aim his feet at the ceiling...just as MJ2000 B was removing its tongue from the wall.

B curled the wire up into a swirl. Then (ZZMMM!!!} it bolted out again, firing high for its target. Yet Goku had retained his energy on the ceiling, and used it to push off and move towards the rightmost wall. {PING!} {PANG!} he bounded off the walls in a zigzagging path, an orange streak roaming the compartment, before finally making his way to the open doorway and back to the open arsenal, where he'd have more room to maneuver.

Twisting about in midair, Goku flew towards a small helicopter and set foot on its motionless blade, getting in a suitable battle position. As suitable as one could get in his situation, anyway.

"Hoyo," Arale spoke from Goku's armpit. "Sounds like something happenin'"

{KAKUN!} MJ2000s A and B carved themselves new exits from the small room, whilst C moved through the original hole, getting in order with its brothers. Each of the robots took a big gulp, and cocked their tongues in their mouths. Then...

"KZZZMMM!!!" Goku jumped off of the tank and into the air, as the three cables shattered the vehicle into a sloppy pile of scrap. He somersaulted on through and landed on the floor just as B and C readied their weaponry. {ZZING} {ZZING} {ZONG!} The two tongues alternatingly assaulted our hero, keeping him jumping rope franticly. They led him in a crazy dance, lapping him over to a set of rifles just in time for A to make its move. "ZCLATT!" it jolted like a whip, and Goku had barely enough time to dodge. "ZZZIT!" Lashing across the ground, the cable cut a trench in the concrete, before it {CLASHTATATAT!} crashed into the guns, spreading them all about as the boy landed back down.

Goku looked at the scattered rifles, and turned back defiantly to the MJ2000 series. "So ya like to lap things up, eh?" he challenged, shaking his fist. "Well then..."

He bent his knees.

"SLURP ON THIS!" and launched himself on a crash course for MJ2000 A, his foot outstreched in a lethal kick.

"Oh!" Arale peeped, the cap blown from her head as she hung in Goku's arm.

The two moved closed and closer to the target.

{BONG!}

Then they moved farther and farther away from the target as they bounced harmlessly off of its armored plating, causing not so much as a dent in the surface.

"What th' heck!?" Goku exclaimed, just as soon as he had scrambled to his feet again. "He should be blowed up right now!"

"Where's my cap?" Arale exclaimed, waving her hands around her head.

A, B, and C slowly started their assault, moving closer and closer to the pair. Their tongues whipped and lashed about them, brandished with fury as ruthless as the blood-red in their cold eyes.

"Rats!" he cursed under his breath. "If I can't smash em', how can I beat em'!"

"Wish I could help," the girl said, looking up lazily at him. "I'd have a pretty big punch, if I tried."

"Yeah..." Goku responded laconicly, glaring at his enemies.

{PLIK!} Suddenly a light bulb clicked inside his head. He turned sharply to Arale. "Arale-chan, you're pretty dense, right?" he asked franticly, gripping her shoulder roughly.

"Um, I guess so," she answered, missing the unintended insult completely. "But what does..."

"That's it!" Readjusting Arale in his arm, Goku cocked her back into his hand. Bending his elbow, he hauled back all the way until he held her in a football throwing position. "Alright," he said, narrowing his eyes to the approaching MJ2000s. "When I let rip, you ram your fists inta them as hard as ya can!"

"Yay!" she cheered, grinning enthusiastically. "I get to do somethin' cool!"

"Heh, you know it!" A small smirk grew on Goku's face as he grew ready for his attack. Concentrating on the enemies ahead, he gauged their respective distances carefully, trying to pick out the closest threat. His roaming eyes bounced from opponent to opponent, and they eventually came to rest on MJ2000 A, who was moving just a little bit ahead of the others.

He reeled his body back, and...

"Ready...GO!!!"

For any of you Dr. Slump fans, this seems like a good time to cue some cheery "Wai Wai World" instrumentals...

{SHOOM!} he launched Arale out in a bolt of purple fervor, straight at MJ2000 A. She spun and spun and...

{KLONCH!} ...her head smashed into the robot's head, scattering gears everywhere. She embedded her feet in its shattered innards and {BING} kicked herself into a series of midair backflips, landing her straight back into Goku's palm.

The broken frogbot tottered about a bit, its main core in shreds. It wavered back a bit, then toppled over onto its face with a clang, the red in its eyes draining away.

"Goody!" Arale yipped out. "I got one!"

"Two more t' go!" Goku agreed, smiling at her.

The two remaining MJs whirled their tongues around, as if ready to avenge their fallen comrade. {SLOCK!} {SHLOCK!} they whipped out at him, hitting nothing but air. Flying up, Goku aimed his missile and {FOOM!} threw her into {KACHUK!} what was now scrap.

Goku landed on the floor, and Arale rolled back to his side, ready to face the last opponent. MJ2000 C seemed to have learned from the mistakes of the fallen, however, and had its bulky flippers covering his face in a solid guard. Not that this discouraged our team, though.

"Okay, a little more power for this one," Goku said, picking up Arale.

"Right!" she said, while being lifted overhead.

He clutched her waist with both hands, bending his arms behind him. His shoulders strained with the effort while aiming for his target.

"HAAA!!!" and the shoulders were relieved as he chunked her, legs first, at the last 'bot. Moving at an even faster speed, Arale bent her knees, storing power in her legs. Just as she reached her enemy...

"ARALE KICK!!!" she smashed her shoes into MJ2000, sending it flying all the way back to the button room, where {KABLAM!!!} it burst into flaming conflagration, sparks flying out of the broken walls and into the arsenal, thankfully not igniting any bombs present.

"Heh!" Goku snickered lightly, observing the remains of the chaotic battle. The weapons room was a complete mess, littered with the slashes and scrapes the tongues had cut. Several of the gun racks had fallen over, spreading their contents with the other odds and ends about. And some of the larger transports has been demolished completely, broken into small collections of shards, like leaf piles on autumn days, built up after a hard afternoon's work.

"Well, that's that!" Goku grinned, dusting his hands off. He walked over to Arale's cap, lying next to a couple grenades, and swept it off the ground. Holding it by its wing, we walked over to his expectant friend, standing close by the button room. "What say we smash outta here?" he asked, offering her the cap.

She grinned, and took the bill with her fingertips. "Okay!' she said, straightening it on top of her head.

Goku nodded once, walking over to the end of the arsenal, where a large wall halted their progress. He took a close look at this obstinate obstacle, then arranged himself sideways in a combat stance. His forward hand went limp, and his other clinched into a hard fist. It reached back a bit, gaining power.

"Paper, scissors, ROCK!!!"

He then threw it forward.

*****

"It's all coming down, boss!" the RR soldier cried, struggling to retain his footing. "The foundation's giving way!" Finally standing up, he carefully treaded across the floor, trying to make his way to his superior's desk. But when he was three-fourths of the way there, another small tremor shook him off his feet, hurling him into a stack of papers, scattering them everywhere.

The whole compound was falling apart. Somehow, those two little punks had damaged the concrete structure that held the place together. All the rooms on top were crumbing over one another, like a card building with the bottom one removed. The soldier even thought he could see the rec. room above protruding from the ceiling, but it might have been just the pool table.

He pressed his hands on the desk, and slowly pushed himself upright again. "Sir, we've got to get out of here!" he told him, staring at the boss' chair. "There's a Capsule plane in Section 2A. If we hurry, we might make it..." The soldier took a closer look at his superior, and raised his eyebrows. "Sir?"

The man wasn't scrambling out of his seat like he should. In fact, he was just sitting there, still holding onto his coffee cup, which had about a third of the cooling fluid left. So calm, so composed, like the coffee in the cup.

He moved the mug to his mouth, and took a second to down the rest of his beverage. And then, although the soldier couldn't see behind the chair's back, he knew his superior was smiling. "So, you win this round, kids," he said coolly, resting the cup's handle on his finger. "I wonder how long you can keep this up."

Smartly, he placed his empty cup back on the desk, and swirled his chair to face the subordinate. "Tell all remaining troops to gather as much as they can from the underground arsenal." he ordered. "Then retreat, and rendezvous at the nearest Red Ribbon base."

"But sir, what about you?" the soldier asked hesitantly, standing at the ready.

He just smiled mysteriously. "Soldier, you should know by now that I'm always one step ahead of the rest," he said, and pressed on a small button on the armrest. All of a sudden, a large metal umbrella slid out of the seat back, bending over his head in an amazing display of mechanics. Then {BLARE!} huge jets of flame burst from underneath, and the chair rose up like a rocket, drilling through the ceiling, out of the room and, presumingly, out of the base.

The soldier stared up at the hole where his commander had vanished, a blank expression on his face. But soon, another quake ravaged the chamber, shaking loose an 8-ball to land on his skull, waking him from the confusion. He quickly decided to spring to action, jumping over the desk and hitting the intercom. He turned the volume to maximum level, and took a deep breath. "All remaining troops, listen up!" he announced into the microphone. "These orders are directly from the boss, so be ready to act on my mark!"

*****

Along the hills and valleys that made up the countryside, a seismic shake snaked under terra firma, disrupting the life cycles of many forest creatures. The birds left their nests and fled from their trees, and the squirrels scrambled confused all about, sometimes even running into each other, knocking their nut stores out of their mouth and onto the grass, where they franticly tried to pick them up again before accidentally hitting their heads again.

Beyond the moat, the old, gray fortress was the only thing that remained standing upright. The stone walls were trying their best to endure against the magnitude of the earthquake that assaulted its wall. But alas, by the pebbles and shells that sprung up from the moat waters, and the telltale shivers of its very composition, it was not to last.

The castle teetered to and fro, as if it were only made of cardboard. Then...

{FUMP!} {FUMP!} {FUMP! {FUMP!} each of the walls fell two dimensionally across the moat, creating the look of a flattened box, revealing within its castle confines...nothing.

And on the inside flap of the false battlements, read the warning: "THIS SIDE UP".

*****

Forest life busies itself with many concerns. Animals attend to their daily concerns. Wind runs through the leaves. A single chestnut falls down on the forest path. It makes a sound. Just one small sound. Forest life busies itself with many concerns.

"Well, that certainly was interesting," the boy said, while pacing down the pathway. "About time I got a good fight in."

"Fun, too!" his cargo joined in, raising her palms to the sky. "Almost as fun as pokin' poo!"

For a moment, he looked as if he was about to say something, but decided against it, feeling what he said wasn't worth it. He just picked up the pace.

Goku and Arale were trudging away from the broken down "castle," trying to make up for lost time. Arale was once again on back, held up by Goku's hands, still encrusted with concrete dust. Behind them lurked a large sinkhole, where the mysterious passages lay crush under fifty feet of red clay. In front of them stretched the path, which swerved haphazardly through the trees to serve the walkers, not to mention the forest life.

"It's too bad we never got t' figure out what that button was for," Goku sighed regretfully. "For some reason, I coulda sworn it was worth more than it seemed."

"Don't worry!" Arale perked, looking down into his face. "We c'n always find out later!"

"What do you mean?" he asked, turning up to her. But the girl only smiling mischiviously, putting a hand in her pocket. She whipped out a small object. "Ta dah!" she cheered, presenting it to him.

"The...the red button!" Goku gasped, grabbing it from her hand. "How'd you find it!?"

"I picked it up while you were bashin' the wall!" she giggled, tilting her head cutely. "Now we can find out whAAA...!" Without Goku holding onto her with both hands, Arale lost her balance and began to fall backwards. Franticly, she grabbed at his hair, trying to regain her place. But her grip was too strong, and "WHAAA!!!" the two ended up flipping backwards and {WHUMP} falling onto their backs in a sea of dust.

Goku and Arale drug their faces out of the dirt, slowly moving to their knees. They looked at each other curiously, as if wondering who to blame for this catastrophe. Then one of them let out a small giggle, prompting the other to smile as well, and soon both of them were laughing like crazy, holding onto their stomachs in panicked mirth.

And soon, they were back on their way.

*****

Additional Disclaimer(s): "Hello My, Baby" belongs to Joseph Howard and Ida Emerson. "Wai Wai World" is the opening theme to Dr. Slump, which will come into play a little later in the story. (at which then I'll give credit where it's due.)

*****

Arale: "N'cha! In the next chapter, we take a pit stop at the lake t' have a little snack!"

Goku: "Good food's hard to find, so you have to take whatcha get...hey! What's happened t' the water here? "

Goku/Arale: (with arms around each other) "All this and more, in the next exciting chapter of 'Jan-ken PUNCH!'"

RisanF: "Until next time, ja ne! ^_^"





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