Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away...

Oops, wrong story.

Anyway, a long time ago, there was a beautiful enchanted kingdom. The Kingdom was called Foodtopia, and served as home for a group of powerful, but eternally hungry beings. There were also several princesses who ruled over separate food types, such as ice cream, doughnuts, burgers, and several others; it was their destiny to protect the Queen and Princess Ruby Tuesday of Foodtopia.

There was also a society of beings who were perpetually trying to lose weight. Known as the Tofuverse, they were ruled over by the perpetually cranky and low-willpowered Queen Jenny Craig. She and her society watched Foodtopia enviously; the beings there ate whatever they wanted without worrying about a proper diet. Jealousy rose in the Queen and she decided to attack the kingdom during a vunerable time...after a major holiday feast. The people of Foodtopia were too full and content to resist, and so Queen Jenny Craig was easily able to take control.

Even the neighboring kingdom of Corperatia, the allies of Foodtopia, tried to help, but it only resulted in the Prince T.G.I. Friday gaining too much weight for his own good and becoming quite useless. The princesses of Foodtopia also tried to help, but Queen Jenny Craig also caused them to waste away to nothing. At last, the Queen of Foodtopia used the sacred treasure of the world, the Cholesterol Crystal to send Queen Jenny Craig and her evil generals back to the Tofuverse for a time. She also sent Ruby Tuesday, the princesses, Prince T.G.I. Friday, and the mascots, Wendy and Ronald, into the future, where the powers of Foodtopia and Corperatia would combine to form the powers of the Sailor Franchise: Sailor Dairy Queen, Sailor Taco Bell, Sailor Krispy Kreme, Sailor McDonalds, and the leader of them all, the powerful, and hungry, Sailor Food!

Serena Glutton, an average 15 year-old middle school student who LOVES to eat, meets up with a mysterious black cat, who has on a red-braided wig. After the initial shock of seeing a cat in a wig, the cat spoke to Serena, telling her not only about a great menu with 99 cent items, but that Serena was also a powerful guardian of food and eating. Serena promptly flips out, but wouldn't you if a be-wigged cat was talking to you about cheap hamburgers? Anyway, Serena soon comes to the rescue of her friend Molly Mustard from a malevolent being made of tofu and beansprouts, and discovers her destiny...she turns into SAILOR FOOD, champion of justice and good ribs. After rescuing Molly, she meets the cat, who turns out to be named Wendy, and learns more about her powers. Eventually, she meets up with new friends and enemies.

Among her enemies are the generals of the Tofuverse. First, she fights the useless Lipoite.  He dies by falling into a fryer. She also meets and defeats Criscoite, but before Molly Mustard falls for him and they share a milkshake. Finally, they contend with Cellulite and her evil boyfriend Lardite. Cellulite is looking for a sacred treasure, the eleven herbs and spices of the Queen of Foodtopia. They even resort to stealing Sailor Food's only ally, the handsome Tuxedo Drive-Thru.

Fortunately, Sailor Food gains allies. There's the brainy Amy Sprinkle, who turns out to be Sailor Dairy Queen, the guardian of cold treats. There's also the fiery Raye Gordita, who is appropriately enough Sailor Taco Bell, and who can get rid of evil by yelling, "Drop the chalupa!" A tall girl who make delectable treats for all becomes a new friend as well...Lita Hole is Sailor Krispy Kreme. And finally, there's Mina McRib, who was once Sailor Pea, but who finally joins the Sailor Franchise with a talking, red afro-ed cat of her own, Ronald.

Eventually, Sailor Food defeats all of the generals and rescues Tuxedo Drive-Thru. However, he is killed by Queen Jenny Craig, the leader of the Tofuverse. Sailor Food forms the Cholesterol Crystal from the eleven sacred herbs and spices, as well as a lovely spicy meatball sauce. She and the Sailor Franchise storm Jenny Craig's restaurant. Although they all die, they also succeed in using the Cholesterol Crystal to give the Queen a massive corinary. But, you can't keep a good Franchise down, and so Sailor Food and her friends came back to life.

Next up: Sailor Food R. The R stands for something we haven't figured out yet. But don't worry, we have no lives, so we are sure to come up with something in a few days. In the meantime, enjoy some food. We dare you :)

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is copyright 1992, Takeuchi Naoko, Toei Animation, TV Asahi, DIC, Cloverway, Bandai, and other associated companies. We are not affiliated with any restaurants mentioned on this page in any way. Any copyrighted terminology on this page was used as parody/satire under fair use laws. This is a fan page and does not earn profit in any way, shape, or form. Yeah right, like people would pay money for this. Most people wouldn't waste time on this (except us!), let alone money.

This page was copyrighted October 2000 upon creation by J & K.