Sailor Food R: The Promise of the Snack

A young Darien is seen crying as he bids his only friend, an alien named Floury, goodbye. As Floury leaves, Darien gives him a present…a single red and white-striped straw...

Fast forward...

And so, Sailor Food has once again vanquished the forces of evil...

Argh! Not that far! Hang on...there!

Serena, Darien, and their friends are visiting a Sams club, hanging around the food section in particular and contemplating the beauty of five-gallon buckets of mayonaise. As they go outside, a shower of napkins flutters into the parking lot, and a familiar looking man appears. He tells Darien that he has returned and they can be friends again and he’s got LOTS of straws. Darien looks confused (not normal), Serena looks confused (normal), and the others just stand back and watch. Serena points out that Darien is her boyfriend. The man pushes her aside a vows to come back for Darien.

A few days latter, a giant meteor comes near the earth. Ronald and Wendy detect some kind of vegetable matter involved, but the Franchise just laughs and goes about their everyday lives. Soon after, a mysterious plant lands on earth and sprouts under a tree. It turns into a giant squash and squirts any passerby with seeds and cheese, putting them under it’s control. Raye senses something is wrong as the Franchise walks to school and finds the streets awash in cheese and people. When the people begin attacking, the Sailor Franchise transforms and goes into action. They finally manage to destroy the squash with some help from Tuxedo Drive-Thru. Floury suddenly appears (as an alien this time). He tries to talk Tuxedo Drive-Thru into coming with him, but the Knight refuses refuses. Floury, convinced Sailor Food has seduced him with food, tries to kill her, but Drive-Thru steps in the way of several bendy straws and is badly hurt. He reveals that he is possessed by the Bird’s Eye, a packet of mixed vegetables that guides him and fuels his hatred for greasy, nasty fast food. He takes Drive-Thru with him to the meteor.

The Sailor Franchise follows, using the Sailor To-Go transport. They land on the meteor, which turns out to be a huge bowl of salad. The salad attacks the Franchise. Sailor Food almost gets caught in a large group of cherry tomatoes that ensnares her friends. Drive-Thru, meanwhile, is encased in a Biggie Sweet Tea that is healing his wounds, where he finally remembers Floury. He breaks free just in time to see Floury about to destroy Sailor Food. Drive-Thru is forced to throw a straw at Floury; it hits him in the chest, and he falls into a large batch of croutons. As the Franchise starts to recover, Floury springs up again and tries to destroy the Cholesterol Crystal Sailor Food is holding. Sailor Food reveals a new memory to him. On her way to visit her mom in the hospital, she passed by a little boy in another room and offered him a sip of her soda. She gave him the straw to keep...

Floury suddenly realizes where the straw came from. He squashes (no pun intended) the Bird’s Eye, and apologizes to Darien. The giant salad bowl suddenly starts spinning out of control towards Earth. Sailor Food uses the Cholesterol Crystal to protect her friends but it breaks due to over exposure to the low-fat salad. But, Floury uses the last of his powers to restore it and save Sailor Food and her friends before drifting off into the galaxy to find new friends. And so, Sailor Food has once again vanquished the forces of evil just in time to get home for dinner!


Disclaimer: Sailor Moon is copyright 1992, Takeuchi Naoko, Toei Animation, TV Asahi, DIC, Cloverway, Bandai, and other associated companies. We are not affiliated with any restaurants mentioned on this page in any way. Any copyrighted terminology on this page was used as parody/satire under fair use laws. This is a fan page and does not earn profit in any way, shape, or form. Yeah right, like people would pay money for this. Most people wouldn't waste time on this (except us!), let alone money.

This page was copyrighted October 2000 upon creation by J & K.