Protected By Shinigami
The Long Awaited:
QUOTEBOOK!!!
Protected By Shinigami
“Levitating oranges! ”- Anna Volk
“Hell is not a geometrical term! ” – me
“ I declare myself to be Queen of Africa. Oh, and Connecticut is now a city. ”- me
“People having a good time are likely to have fun. ”- My mom
“I’ll have a beer and a coloring book. Oh yes, and a pack of crayons. ”- Anna, ordering at Red Robin’s (not really)
“Hypothesis: All bunnies are dumb. All seniors are dumb. Conclusion: All seniors are bunnies. ”- Sign in Dr. Segler’s room
“ Oriental-looking Koreans! ”- Dr. Segler
“Oh fudge nuts! ” –KT OGrayT (imitating)
“Can’t we make them stop growing so many crash cops? I mean, crosh caps? Oh, never mind! ”- me (*Cash crops*)
“Mikio looks like a gay pirate! ”- Anna (*Mikio is wearing my ear cuff*)
“My mom used to like me. She was the only woman that ever liked me. ” Senor Catanese
“Now then, on with my pants, err, story. ” –Ryoga_Hibiki3 (*online fanfic*)
“ Bad, Badder, Bladder? ”- Katie (*Bad, Badder, Baddest*)
“I always confuse The Giver with The Keeper! ”-Anna
“ What’s A Trisk? ”- Katie (*At Risk*)
“ Never trust a spiritual leader who cannot dance! ”- Mr. Miyagi
“ It wasn’t me! It was the invisible midget behind you! ”- Katie
“ Do you spell midget with a g or a j? ”-Anna
“ Quote that…he he he! “- me
“ Lines do not exist! ” - Stephanie Kim
“ If I have zero clothing on….” –Aalap
“ If I have an infinite amount of cheese on my hand, what is the square root of pi? “- me
“Awe of buzzed reaction! “-me
“ There’s nothing as good as a tasty cracker! ” – my mom
“These yams taste like macadamia nuts!”- me
“ Yeah, I’ve got a pen.” –Russ (*holds up a pencil*)
“ Black African-Americans.”-me
“Wait! Nelson Mandela’s not President of South Africa anymore? Whoa! When did that happen?!” – me
“Are you singing Christmas shongs?” –Katie
“ Shaka Zulu. I love that name!” Dr. Stone
“Cropperty! Crop! Crop! Cropperty!”- me
“ Sameer and the word ‘Speedo’ do not belong in the same sentence.” –Anna
“Not even if that sentence was ‘Sameer choked to death on a Speedo’, because then you would wonder how it got in his mouth.”- me
“Africa is an African country.” –Thommy
“Shark bad. Salmon good!’ –Mr. Wright
“ No they didn’t-yes they did!” Ian, on dinosaur eggs
“ You have to have a model!” – Russell Kornblith
“ No you don’t.” –me
“You can’t just pull a plan out of thin air!”- R.K
“Yes I can!”- me
“ Did someone bite off the edges of your assignment notebook?” –Stephanie Kim
“Golf is not a sport! Golf is the lack of a sport!”- me
“ Pour qui-est que tu travaille? » - JaKe (*in a Russian accent*)
“ Freshman are so paranoid and suspicious!” –Ian Ceicys
“ What do you mean by that?!”- me
“ I remember, but I forgot.”- me
“Why do I have this?”-Anna
“Because you keep stealing it!”-me
“ These are sensible snacks. Not stuff that you eat!” Coach Parrish to Ian
“You take drugs? Good.”-Coach Parrish (*to Marissa about her lactose intolerance pills*)
“ Do you eat potatoes, Irish boy?”- Coach Parrish (*to Court about his potassium intake*)
“My mom doesn’t want me to join a sorority.”- Thommy
“Blood, blood everywhere, and not a drop to drink.”-Anna and me (*during a kidney dialysis lab in Bio*)
“ 1492?! That’s my aunt’s gate code! Blah blah blah (story about aunt’s house)-…. Then, she opened the gate..”-Anna
"What?! You’re openly gay?!”-me
“ Wha? Who’s gay?” –Katie
“ Where do you people come up with these nipkins?” –Marissa (*nicknames*)
“I’m so thick!”- Laura C.
“Well, I could’ve applied knowledge!”-Laura C.
“That wasn’t a quotable quote, that was a quotable pint.”- Dr. Segeler
“ NOOOOO!!!” –Laura C. (*she really wanted to get a quotable quote*)
“ You’re a real porker. You might want to take up running or something….”- Mr. Wright
“Or, you could become a gym teacher….just a thought.”-me (* to Coach Parrish - who teaches gym for grades 1-9, and runs in a marathon every year - about her body mass*)
“ So, Anna, how many Gentiles did you toss in the river on Rosh Hashanah…. or is that on Yom Kippur?” –me
“Hey, mom, did you know that William Jennings Bryan was secretary of state?”- me
“Yeah, sure!…. Clinton or Reagan administration?”-my mom
“Uhhh… Woodrow Wilson’s administration….”- me
“My tickle box is turned over! Let bees be be bees….”- my mom (*let bygones be bygones*)
“I’ll just have to talk to you silently from now on!” –my mom, on being quoted too much
“I want to be an illiterate writer when I grow up!”- Maya
“Well the rest of the world should be psychic so they know when I’m talking about poultry.”-Maya
“You like pictures! “-Anna to Katie
“ I like men in funny hats!”- Anna
“ Ok, when he gets up to go to the bathroom, we’re gonna follow him out and then we can commit some immoral sexual acts!”- Betsy
“ Chicken smells like hens if you hit them on the stomach…. Only if you hit them on the exact center of their stomach, where they have no fur.”-Katie, filling the silences
“By the Side, Side, Side, Side Postulate”-Stephanie K. on four-sided triangles
“Wow! We just thought the same thing at the same time! Me and Mikio have ESPN!”- JaKe
“Really, it’s Tuesday? I must be dead!”- Laura C. on Friday, using her amazing logic
“They had a picture of urine being poured in our health book!”- Jessie
“That was orange juice, you idiot!”- me
“ Constipated giraffes!”- Marja
“So my name’s really Witch Baby Secret Agent Black Lamb Wig Bat? Where’d the Lamb come from?”-me
“ Our school is just like ‘Cheers’….only it’s not a bar. And we don’t have our own theme song….oh wait, wait…we do!” –me
“And we’re both wearing underwear. At least, I hope.”- Anna, on how we all dress alike
“Sharing is caring!”- Joey, on the Spanish spreading influenza
“How do you spell ‘what’?!”- Señor Catanese
“ Jessica, just because you have the freedom of speech doesn’t mean you should exercise it all the time.”- me
“Baaaaaa…”-Joey (*attempting to scare Anna + me*)
“ You Global Issues people have issues with your globals!”-Erin W, using the lamest comeback ever
“I am a square.”- Señor Catanese
“ Vache? Vache. Mooooo!”- Señor Catanese
“ Why should people have to take that risk? I mean, play with monkeys?”-Laura C.
“ Sodium-free salt?!”- me
“ I was so excited, my heart’s still beating!”-Mikio
“ So if anyone tries to take over the world, we should burn all the crops. In Russia.”-Mike R
“Dogs like trucks!”-Katie
“Did you know that ducks don’t have lips?”- me
“ Fuzzy math!”- George W. Bush
“ I’m against protecting the environment….”-Joey on his favorite presidential candidate
“Thommy, do you have your Walkman with you?”-Mrs. Jenkins
“Uh, yeah….”-Thommy
“Can we play Simonne’s tape on it?”- Mrs. Jenkins
“Mom! IT PLAYS CDS!”-Thommy
“I think that George Dubbya should be….annihilated…”-Anna’s sweet old grandmother
“Well that’s cuz no one in our class is named…Walrus…”-Anna, on names at the end of the alphabet
“You make me laugh, George (W) Bush. You make me laugh.” –Mike R.
“ I think I just coughed up my soul.”- me
“Who here knows horses?”- Dr Segeler
·
“ I fell off one once!”- Anna
“I don’t know many fetuses who are astronauts!”- Mike R.
“Wow, he can’t dance at all! Who is that total white boy?!”- my mom
“Actually, mom, that’s Ricky Martin.”-me
“ Al Gore is such a baby.”- Joey
“Says the boy with the lollipop.” –Anna
“ Jesus ?!”- Aaron K.
“That says 'Je suis'!”- Mike R.
"In the past, can you try to correct your mistakes?”- Senor Catanese
“ Everyone knows that Dole bananas are bnetter!” –David H. (*’better’ is what he meant to say*)
“ Anna, are you going to wear your new pin to school?”- Anna’s grandmother (of earlier quote)
“No.”- Anna
“If you do, I’ll give you a nickel!”- Anna’s grandmother
“ I haven’t gotten it wrong since I started to get it right!”- Marissa S (quoteable quote!)
“ You’re telepathetic now!”- Marissa S
“ Reproduction is so messy!” –Anna, during our karyotype lab
“ I eat chromosomes like you for breakfast!”- Anna
“I forgot to wash the jam off my arm…. And it’s sticky!”- Anna
“Should I quote you on that?”- me
“ Either you guys have a serious class or you will have a social hour! You decide!”- Mr. Jacobs, trying to threaten our Spanish class
“ I choose you brown chair! Go! Roll Attack!”- Laura C’s version of Pokemon
“ I’m sorry (x10)! It wasn’t me (x10)! It was the wind (x10)!” (x10)- Stephie
“ So, it’s exactly like checkers.”- Laura C
“ No, Laura! It’s nothing like checkers!”- me (*talking about cricket*)
“Moss is the king of the fungus kingdom!”- Thommy
“ I read a story once. About a Black guy.”-Mike R.
“ Should I quote you on that?”- me
“NO!”- my mom
“ Has anyone heard from Mr. Snoppes?”-my mom ( she meant to say Dr. Ebling )
“ So you’re up to bat until the bowler knocks over your wicket…”-me
“Wahahahahhaha! A wicket in cricket? A wicket cricket! A wicker cricker!”- my mom
“My dining room is like the tundra!….is the tundra hot or cold?”- my mom
“ Sorry, I don’t have an apology!”- Stephanie
“ Anna, make like a cheerleader and shout at me!”- Senor Catanese, in a whisper
“ Help remember me.”- Dr. Segeler (*Help me remember*)
“ You either buy a robot, or you buy a dog! You do not buy a robot dog!” –Lewis Black, making fun of all the Japanese engineers obsessed with making robotic dogs
“I’m not leaving! I’m just walking out the door!”- Anna, making fun of Jake
“ Bill peed on all my dad’s work.”-Anna
“Was Bill a college student?”- me
“ Look! Ducks!”-me.
Then a dark feathered winged bird flies overhead.
“Oooh. That wasn’t a duck!”- me
“ I have to go photocopy my hair now- I mean shoplift- BLOW DRY!”- Anna
“ Is Don Quixote a part of the mafia?”-Joey
“ I can see that as being maverick, I just don’t know what or how to brand a cow!”- Joey
“ Marissa! Where are your pants?!”-Simonne
“Let’s force Marissa to put her pants on!”-Anna
“ J’ai suis!”- Kim (*I have am!*)
“ How do you fit an elephant into a Safeway bag? You take the ‘f’ out of ‘safe’ and the ‘f’ out of ‘way’.”-Anna
“But there is no ‘f’ in ‘way’! Oh!”-me
“Stares of shock instead of shares of stock! It’s a spoonerism! Get it?!”-me
*Blank stare*-Anna
“ Look! The Eiffel Tower!”-Katie, pointing at the Statue of Liberty
“I call this meeting adjourned!”- Katie, calling the meeting to order
“I hate those people who’re like ‘Ooh! Save the trees! Save the environment!’”-Joey
“ Aalap, the other reindeer?’- my mom (*All of the other reindeer*)
“ There’ something kinky going on between you and that Tylenol!”- me to Anna
“ What bird can swim, but can’t fly?”-me
“ A duck!”- my mom
*I stare at her*
“ What?! Have you ever seen a flying duck? Oh!”- my mom
"Come to Jupiter and discover the walrus within you!" -Dr.Segeler
"We can't succeed by conventional methods, but we CAN succeed by cheating!"-Dr. Segeler
"He's not old, he's just....dirty..."-Anna, commenting on Benicio Del Toro
"Oops! I killed a gang of ninjas!"- Oopsy Daisy
"Whoever thought this up must be pretty rich...(long pause)...And dead...(long pause)...Well at least they died rich!" - Megan on mcdonald's
"Oh yeah that was the movie where everyone froze! Oh wait no that was just when someone had pressed pause!" - Anna
"General, arouse the troops!"- Amber
"So it's just like cancer!" - Laura on triangles
One of those long days in honors geo...
"Aalap, you must have some sort of dyslexia." - Doc Seg
"Well at least I don't have dexlysia!" - Keith
"Yeah, but you have some sort of speech impediment!" - Anna
"Yeah, Keith but you have some sort of speech impediment!" - Amber
"I just said that! You have some sort of memeory impediment instead!!" - Anna
"Wow, I must have a bad memory." - Amber
"Aagh!" - Anna
"Marissa, stop hitting on the pandas!" - me
"Thommy, your glove isn't as new as it used to be!" - Joey
"Tigers eat deer and cantelope." - Laura C
"Cantelope?" - Anna
"Yes, cantelope...antelope, antelope!!!"- Laura C
"I'm sorry Mrs. Jackson, I am for real, never meant to make your daughter cry..."- Katie (*singing*)
"Why whould they make her doctor cry?"- Laura C
"The second problem is so difficult, it makes the first one seem like a chipmunk!"- Doc Seg
"I'm gonna get a computer.... in my head!"- Laura C
"It's the whisky flag! Cocktails are now being served!"- Dr. Segeler
"My brain is like a lawnmower!!"- Keith
"I put the 'country' in 'countryclub'!!"- Anna
"Thommy and David are Siamese Twins separated at birth!!"-Simonne
"I can hear....your hair."-Laura C.
"Great, not only does Meredith leave her books and bag in front of my locker, but she leaves her boyfriend, too!"- me
"I used to be a hooker... a RUG hooker!!"- my Mom
" Do you think that the Kurds will get their way?" -me (*ha ha, Kurds, whey?*)
"I can never remeber those mackronyms!!" -Thommy
"What?" - Anna
"Acronyms, Mackronyms, acorns, whatever!!!"- Thommy
"Henry Daivid Thoreau once said 'Men are born to succeed, not to fail.' He has obviously never met me."- me
" -1, the rabbi and priest of mathematics: always converting numbers!"- Doc Seg
"Zero is a synonym to no." - Keith
"Shoot! I forgot my own foot's name!" - Jake
"What is a musical device used to thaw worms?" - Dr. Seg
"Chemicals!!" - Laura
"It's a Jewish inscribed circle!!" -Laura and Anna simulteanously
"My sister has no eyes." - Laura
"I have senioritis." - Jessica, the freshman
"Hola! Me llamo abuelo!" - Joey (*Hello! My name is Grandmother!*)
"Isn't my silence wonderful?" - Stephanie SAID
"Mishmash means peacock?" - Stephanie gets confused
"Stephanie, that's not a Q, that's an O!" - Amber
"I wondered why it didn't have a tail." - Stephanie
"This is my face of terror." - Stephanie, smiling sweetly
"I wasn't making fun of you Stephanie!" - Anna
"Yes but you were making fun of Amber and Amber was making fun of me so therefore by the transitive property you were making fun of me!" - Stephanie
"I'm gonna cry!!" - Marissa, every hour of every day of every week... etc.
"I'm crying! I'm crying!" - Marissa, finally.
"Anyone want a doughnut?"- Ian
"Yay!! .... are they poisoned?" - Anna
" And today in the weather: wind, rain... and terror." - Anna, making fun of a stupid headline
"What's the scientific term for snail? Cephalopod?" - me
"Escargo!" - my Mum
"New Jersey!.... wait, what was the question?" - Russ, answering a question involving a numbers answer
"It's so hot out!" -Laura C.
"But you're wearing shorts!" -Anna
"I should be wearing nothing!" -Laura C
"Whoa! I passed!" - me, upon receiving my Honors Geometry test
"I'm a little faster than a jellyfish. You know why? I have muscles." - Mr Wright, sounding a little too smug.
"Here I have a quadrilateral with the verticies A, B, and C......and D!" - Mikio
"I am an infinite, non-repeating number!" - Laura C
"Pi cannot imbed its own piness." - Doc Seg
"Your royal pieness!" - me
"When was the Communist Party founded?" - KT
"1921!!" - me and Anna
"Mmmmmm, delicious....." - me, reaching for a chocolate Teddy Gram
"!Los Pantalones en fuego!" - Mikey (*the pants on fire*)
"Hee hee... Mrs. Shumacher's name mixed up is 'Mrs. Moo-shocker' ! " - me
"Moo!" - Mikey, looking suprised
"I'm eating fruit cocktail and drinking coffee. What has my life come to?" - Mum
"We should really go to an Indians game this summer." - Mum
"People play baseball in the summer?" - me
"Amber, every bald man you see isn't going to be Moby." - KT
"But I LIKE Moby!" - Amber
"Video Killed the Radio Star?! That sounds violent!" - Mum
"So we're watching 'Charlie Wonka and the Willie Wankit Factory' ?" - Mum
"If by that you mean 'Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory', yes." - me
"Homecoming is a time for nonsense!" - Simonne
"My grandmother is old and sweet. Yours is evil....and Catholic!" - me to KT
"Je me rase les jambons" - Joey (* I shave my hams*)
"'C' starts with 'cake'!" - Jake
"Arf! Dammit!" - Mr Foster, after dropping his candy on the floor
"My head isn't made out of rocks! It's made out of gold! " - Jessie, using the worst comeback EVER
"Why is Anna so messed up?" - Tiffany
"Do you know what 'knees' are?" - Erin W
"No...." - Anna (actually talking about the spanish word for 'knees')
"There are some people who should never wear boots. Mr Way is one of them." - me
"Well, if he makes me do it again, I'll just redo it." - me
"It's like bulimia, without the throwing up." - me
"That's called obesity." - Mikey
"No, no, it's..... it's.... (20 min later)... binge eating!" - me
"The look on your ear!" - me
"Naughty pines?" - KT, making a stupid "naughty" gesture
"Knotty pines, Katie. Knotty pines." - me
"My cat has no pubic hair." - Mikey
"It's not : 'He raped the prostitute's children and herself', it's 'He raped the prostitute's children and her.' " - Anna's mum
"Aahh... I see..." - Anna
"It's like a hysterectomy!" - Laura C on taking the chunky thing out of lychee
"It would just become a pattern of randomness!" - Dr. Mo
"Today human, tomorrow Chevy!" - Dr. Mo
"Vrshrhrrhsh!" - KT
"To expire is not to be." - Mr. Foster, and the "new" LRA motto (*To aspire is to be*)
"To collect vintage automobiles is to be!" - Mikey
"What's this?! A belt! How come no one told me I was wearing a belt?!" - Anna
"I've got it! We can drop pamphlets made out of bread! THe words can be written with jam!" - me, on solving the illiteracy and hunger problems in Afghanistan
"Hello, Sarcasmo. Glad to see your superpowers haven't diminished with age!" - Mr. Foster to Mikey
"Stop speaking in French!" - Anna to me, DURING FRENCH CLASS
"Sikhism is just Judaism with special undershorts!" - Anna (she's Jewish, she can say these things)
"Our main goal today is to stay on task and not get distracted.... wait, what was I saying?" - Mr. Foster
"You've got a good head on your head, Jake." - Dr. Segeler
"....So you can bring in family or friends, and, you know, shoot them, but it's got to be in the shooting room!" - Anna'a photography teacher
"Hey, Aalap spelled 'Hollywood' wrong!" - me, on Aalap's paper on 'Bollywood'
"This used to be Mr. Art's room." - Effie (Mr Fouts' art room)
"So the Eastern book for China will be 'Bound Feet, Western Dress'." - Dr. Mo
"Is that for Africa?" - Jane
"Do you have a small hole I could crawl into?" - Stephanie
"Please don't use derisive language like that." - Mr. Foster
"Pteradactyl?" - Mikey
"Dressie!" - me calling Jessie
"Jello!" - Anna calling Jessie
"Wiggity wiggity wshawack!" - DJ Miss Kitty (KT)
"Joey, you are an apple pie!" - Dr. Mo
"Mmm ... Pie..." - Anna, reaching for Joey
"Michael Jackson is an lesbian alien sexual lover!" - Erin W
"I'm the badmitton goddess!" - Jessie, missing the ball
"Are the people in Peru too poor to buy underwear?" - Laura C
"You're going to Hades!" - Jessie, in a demon voice
"Haiti?" - Anna
"Everybody is the black guy." - Me
"Wait, wait! Is everybody the black guy, or is the black guy everybody?" - Anna
"Is you know the answer, please name your hand." - Mr. Foster
"My dad's not racist, he's just old!" - KT
"Speaking of Chinese people, that's what we had for dinner last night!" - KT
"You have the right to free speech, but you don't have the right to kill people!" - Morgan
"Joey! Come out of the closet!" - Joey's mom, on the phone with me
"I'm gonna be a milk. I'll get right back." - me
"What's a really Jewish name?" - me
"Uh.... Moses." - Anna
"The ultimate Jewish person : Moshe Rubinweissgoldmanbergerstein." - The OKS (me, Anna, KT)
"Monkeys aren't cannibals!" - Jane
"Uh,huh... right, Jane." - Me, Anna, and Nipkins
"They kill each other! They don't EAT each other!" - Jane
"Is that supposed to say 'illiteracy'? I can't read it." - Anna
"What's Shakespeare's last name?" - Russ
"O Tapas Day, O Tapas Day, how lovely are your....cheeses...." - Laura C
"Hello. I am from Mart." - Stephanie, in an alien voice
Snatches of conversations:
"Mikio has a dead baby." - Jake
"How long did it take to make?" - Simonne
"Two weeks." - Aalap
"We breathe freely!" - Tiffany, on string players
"What the hell! I can be Mexican!" - Dr. Chanada Mozundar (*aka Dr. Mo*)
"We all live in a nasty tangerine!" - KT's take on a Beatles classic
"I'm not eccentric at all! *pause* Why are you all laughing?!" - Mr. Foster
"Knock, knock, guys! Are you there?" - Dr. Zinn, questioning our lethargic Chemistry class
"Are you guys going to class already?" - Jane
"Yeah, we're going early to steal stuff." - Mo (*aka Morgan*)
"Mr. Johnson has more erasers than God!" - Mo
"My sweater is de-sweaterizing!" - Laura C
"I have parents?" - Mikey
"You know, those people who live in your house." - me
"Oh. I thought that was.... McGyver..." - Mikey (*How do you SPELL McGyver?!*)
"Do you know (who, whom) the President of Mexico is?" - Mr. Foster (*it's a grammar question*)
"NO." - everyone in my English class, except for Anna
"What do I want for my birthday?" - Anna (musing out loud)
"Goodwill, peace on earth...." - Anna's Dad
"Oh yeah! That mini-fez for Shana!" - Anna
"PJ!! You got us cancerous drinks!" - Jessica G
"Hey Morgan, guess what I had this morning." - Erin, talking about her schedule
"Laryngitis." - Morgan
"The 15th century: When Europe came out of the closet." - someone in our Eastern class
"By the time Marissa and Lourdes hit the spoon, the spoon will be a whole lot hotter than when Anna was in the soup." - Dr. Zinn, attempting to explain some chemical reaction to my confused class, and failing horribly
"I wouldn't choke her with a ten foot stick!" - Anna, screwing up her cliches
"Well, if I were an old woman with one leg, I'd do the same thing." - JaKe
"A yamless man is worth nothing!" - Dr. Mo
"How do you say 'crazy person' [in French]?" - Jessie
"Un fou." - Madame Cleeton
"Ok. Madame Cleeton est un..." - Jessie
"Hey you one-legged hopping witch!" - Dr. Mo to Jake, smiling
"Senor looks like an African embassy!" - me (*I meant 'ambassador'*)
"George Bush is MY man!" - Joey
"Everything that itsn't Neanderthalish is gay!" - Dr. Mo, making fun of guy's perceptions
"Men have nipples too!" - Mikey
"It doesn't mean that they're less nurtured if they grew up in gaycare! *pause* NO! NOOO!!" - Laura C
"Go forth and multiply!" - Joey
"Me fail English? Is unpossible!" - Mr Foster, quoting the Simpsons and imitating our poor grammar skills ^_^
"Europeans went out of their way to screw over the Africans!" - Nick
"Hold on, grabbykins!" - Mr Foster
"Just because I believe you're cute doesn't mean that you arecute." - Dr. Mo to Jeff
"I want a Lance [Bass] calendar!" - KT
"I want a calendar of [N*Sync] being lanced!" - me
"I'm not pale! I'm pink!" - Anna
"Do the cannibals not need Christmas cheer?" - Dr. Mo
"Are you implying that I am a canned good?" - Jeff to Dr. Mo
"Ooh! Pineapple!" - Anna
"Are you mocking me?" - Jessie
"Infinite black people..." - me, taking notes (supposed to be snake, not people)
"I am from Italian." - Maya
"Live from Saturday Night, it's New York!" - Maya
"Gym really wore me out!" - Laura C
"Who's Jim?!" - Anna
"No one from Central Europe wears that kind of jewelry!" - Dr. Mo
"Unless they're from Jamaica." - Mikey
*silence*
"I may be wrong about this, but didn't all Black people come from Africa?" - Katie
"I recommend you try to bribe me. Then you'll find out how corruptable I really am!" - Mme Cleeton, about our French 3 exam
"I am advancing towards you, with very bad intent." - Dr. Mo
"New vocab words: CHOOK, PIG, and HAT. Use these three words in an essay explaining the secret ingredient in the brownies that Mr. Foster made." - me
"How many quarters are there in basketall?" - me
"Aalap is open! Open like a door!" - me
"Asians always collide. It's a law." - Laura Chun
"In my gray corduroy pants I feel worldly and masterful. I am afraid of nothing!" - You Don't Know Me (v. good book!)
"I love druggies!" - anti-drug lady
"You can take you bows and shove 'em up your rears!" - Mrs. "White Hair" Bliss *I don't think she quite knew what she was saying...*
"Not all gay men wear thongs!" - Jane
"3-legged Cat Blinded in Microwave Eggroll Incident." - Anna, and one of her famous headlines
"Young Girl Found Arousing French Troops on Local Highway." - Anna, and another of her famous headlines
"Stupid Paper That Decided to Become Squares" - title of Aalap's English paper
"I could make a 13-year old's boobs out of my fat right now!" - Laura C
"I'm gonna yell at you, Dr. Glor! Raw!" - Nipkins
"Please get off the desk, Laura." - Dr. Glor
"We're getting aquainted!" - Laura C
"Somewhere, a fireman is wondering 'Hey! Where's my coat?!'." - me, staring at a fireman's jacket on an Applebee's wall
"You can be my date, Shimko, but Ader is my pet monkey!" - Dr. Mo, on prom
"The unicorn of non-conformity!" - Anna
"I said uniform!" - me
"Allons Enfants de la Patisserie!" - Kim
"Oh yeah, I forgot... I'm rich! *demented giggle*" - Anna
Monday, last period French:
"It's Friday, right?"
"Why are my pants so big?!"
"Haha.... Aalap's an eagle!"
"Quick! Like a rabbit!" - Mrs. Bush, frantically
"This piece was written for flute, saxophone, Tiffany and Theresa." - Tiffany
"I can usually fit five hands in my pants!" - Laura C
"Whose hands?" - Mikey
"Mine!" - Laura C
"I'm not denying the fact that she was shady!" - Dr. Mo
"If this is not an arranged marriage, I'll eat my hat!" - Dr. Mo
"I want a peanut butter dog." - Meredith Plas
"WHAT?!" - me
"Y'know, a dog with peanut butter instead of fur." - Meredith P
"I've grown accustomed to being used to you." - me
"I have always had a buttcrack." - Laura C
"There's a typo in my pants!" - Anna
"Let's see how long I can [continue] to speak in french...oops!" - Anna
"Graciela, do #1." - Senora
"Pasa la aspiradora..." - Simonne
"MY name is Graciela!" - Steph
"Too bad!" - Simonne
"If I were I manatee I'd like to be called Bobo." - Steph
"Can I go to Spain with your husand?" - Laura C to Senora
"Someone's already doing drugs, right?" - Erin (*researching*)
"I haven't heard a nugget in nugget years!" - Dr. Mo
"Dr. Mao!" - me, desperately calling Dr. Mo during our section on Communist China
"More people have suffered and died from Communism than from religion!" - Joey, completely ruinging his point in the Eastern debate
"A B C D E F G H!" - Tiffany's new music scale
"Your first sentence is like your face - it's awkward, and it has to grab you!" - Dr. Mo, on research papers
"Some Mexican will be as happy as a clam!" - Dr. Mo
"The heads will talk with the people... Dr. Glor and I will meet with three heads..." - Niyati
"Stewart, stop being Michael Jackson!" - Dr. Mo to Amber
"Your shirt was made in Mangoland? Damn, I wanna go there! I love mangoes!" - Jessica
"Do you KNOW what wearing character shoes is like?! It's like having bound feet, in western dress!" - me, alluding to our musical and the book Bound Feet, Western Dress
"I tried looking up crimes and violence [in the back of our French 3 book], but it wasn't there!" - Nipkins
"Step 1: Do NOTHING!
Step 2: Kill Babies!" - Dr Mo
"How many people would go to see a whale named Jesus?" - Dr Mo
"These 2 worlds live on completely different planets!" - guy in math video
"There was a lot of BS on problem 1. I could have shoveled a field...with cows...and pigs..." - Dr. Zinn
"I almost called him Frijole!" - me, re Senora's son Felipe (frijole means 'bean')
"I found a whole book of Romeo and Juliet allusions!" - Anna, referring to Romeo and Juliet
"I'm gonna rip my head off and eat it!" - Kim
"I'm going to UCLA!" - Jessica
"I'm going to U C No Future." - KT
"This has been the most interesting week of my life!" - Nipkins
"Today?" - Senora
"Close the windoor!" - me
"Is I haves a bumps?" - Danielle
"Be in two places at once!" - me, incredulously
"I don't got no boots yet." - Anna
"Aah! My butt itches!" - me
"Alright, now THAT's not a biased opinion!" - Russ, responding to a different statement
"It's like saying Arabs don't like sex, and that is stupid." - Aalap
"Je suis triste de perder ma poche. ... What's a poche?" - Aalap (* I am sad that I lost my pocket*)
"I'll steal for you! J'aime voler!" - Steph, responding to my lack of $ (* I love to steal!*)
"It'll be like a rave! We'll smoke some X and... sniff some P!" - KT
"Attaque le grand-mere!" - Mme (what Anna and I hear - attack the grandmother- rather than 'start the grammar')
"I hit with coat." - Steph
"Stephanie is a badly dubbed movie." - me
"I thought I was Simonne, that's all." - Laura C
"Tengo un gato en mis pantalones!" - me, Anna, Morgan + Jake (*I have a cat in my pants*)
"Rawr!" - Mo
"She's silly, like a banana! Only without the monkeys!" - Nipkins, making little sense last period
Mixed Convo:
"Excuse me, but you are not an Indian." - Anna
"Of course I am!" - Steph, Korean-American estraordinaire
"I listen to Christian smooth folk... y'know, like Mary something Jesus." - Danielle
"Well guys! I've got a shark!" - Dr Zinn (still don't know what she's talking about)
"We've got a game every week this week!" - Jessie
"France is not in America!" - me
"Your essay is too short." - Senora
"So are you!" - me, thinking
"I'm just like Winnie the Pooh!" - Steph
"Except you wear pants." - Anna
"I will strike you down like a cobra!" - Mrs. Maczuzak
"Hi! I'm Laura....no no!" - Stephanie
"Yay for not French!" - Keith, in Advanced Placement English
"My mind is racing... bubble tea... bubble tea!!" - Laura C
"What's that game they play in Asia?" - Anna
"LRA Parking Permit?" - Erin
"I have a mosquito bite! I'm gonna get West Nile Virus and die!" - Jessica
"I don't talk to girls." - KT to Anna, Erin and Jessica
"Anna, I'm crooked! Fix me! Fix me!" - Erin
"The exploring and development of North America had alot to do with...fish." - Mr. Shaulis
"Oh yeah! Beets aren't people!" - Ryan L's AP Biology epiphany
"I'm unsmart." - Ian
"Watch out for that 'Saint Nile's Virus'!" - my mum
"If I was wearing Ian's shorts, they'd be called capris." - Anna
"We have a word in English called 'segue'." - Shimko
"I cannot beat my lips numb to say 'double space!'" - Senor
"You are hitting around the bush." - Senor
"They stole all of my CDs - even Bombay Dreams! What the hell kind of person would steal a Bombay Dreams CD?! That CD is crap! *gets hit on head by tennis ball*" - Anna
"There is hell imagery in the story." - Aalap
"It says 'gazing' in the 1st and last paragraphs." - Anna
"Answer me my question!" - Sameer
"Mmm..." - Rachel, reaching for Stan the bearded dragon
"Are you giving that troll doll a prostate exam?!" - me
"When was the last time you say a troll with a prostate?" - Unknown
"Sameer had a blind date for Homecoming." - me
"You sound like a banjo from the underworld." - Mr Berken, NOYO Philharmonia conductor extraordinaire
"Peasants never rushed anywhere... my parents were peasants." - Mr Berken
"You're ruining my life." - Mr Berken *to the first violins*
"It's ok - I'm Dutch." - Anna, who is most decidedly NOT Dutch
"I'm the man! ..... NO! NO!" - me
"Politicians... yes, they wear hats... and have parties... with the beer and the girls and go to the strip clubs..." - Mr Shaulis, mumbling to himself during US
"I would like this song if I didn't have to listen to it." - Anna
"Remember when you thought you saw Zach out by the Math mod?" - Anna
"They've seen penmanship that could..." - Mr Foster
"Underneath my bra, I'm naked." - Mikio
"Here I'm Dr. Foster, but at home I'm Molly!" - Mr Foster
"I'm not in Discrete [Math] because I'm indiscrete." - me
"You should be a detective!" - my mum
"What?! Why?" - me
"You're watching that watch like a hawk!" - mum
"That has NOTHING to do with being a detective!" - me
"Yeah, well..." - mum
"That is one shitty peice of shit." - Maya's words of wisdom
"A WOMAN!" - me
"I don't want anyone to dress like a skank!" - Dr Mo
"I'm going to wear my shortest miniskirt." - Keith
"I don't want any boys experimenting with crossdressing at the Diversity Forum. We don't need that much diversity." - Dr Mo
"I told you a million, million, bazillion times not to exaggerate." - Mr Foster
"I have never been in the back room! Never in my long-legged life! Long-legged sailor...." - Slany goes insane
"My dad went to England, France, Germany and New Jersey before returning to the U.S." - Oberlin teacher
"Wow! Your water is at exactly 10 degrees Celcius!" - Simonne
"That's because we're cool." - Anna
"That is the most disgusting man I've ever seen in my entire life." - me, about a guy in The Way of the Gun
"Pirates are our friends. Ther are just misunderstood people." - Mr Shaulis
"What if Ralph Nader was a pirate?" - David
"I want you to CHECK and DOUBLE CHECK." - Mr Foster to Vojeck (pronounced 'voy-check')
"You are in the new." - KT
"Know, maybe?" - Anna
"Who's nude?" - Jessica
"Chair! Is 'chair' a number?" - Slany, mockingly
"Would you rather have a Brazilian or a brazillion dollars?" - Anna
"Shalom" - "Stevie Wonder on AIM"
"If a tree falls on a dead baby, but no one is there to see it, is it still hilarious?" - Jake, who is probably going straight to hell
"Then he discharged the seamen..." - Mr Shaulis, actually talking about U.S. history (you pervert)
"Mr Ferber is a lame duck." - me
"They gave me this lotion when I went to the vet... I mean pedatrician..." - Laura C
"Women, schwomen, where are my drugs?!" - Mr Foster
"You don't get raped in your ear!" - Anna
"That's what you think!" - Keith
"If I held up a dog, could you point to it?" - Mr Foster
"Getting in my head is like being in a jungle of nuts." - Mrs Maczuzak
"I'm gonna be studying like a walrus for this bio test." - me
"So, Aalap, do you feel especially sexy today?" - Mr Foster
*dies* - me
"There's no 'I' in Geesen!" - Andrew, cheering at the soccer game
"In English, what's the opposite of 'dangerous'?" - Madame Suskin
"Joey." - me
"Ces't diciffile etre laid." - Mme Suskin *It's hard to be ugly*
"My grass has cancer." - Ian
"The womens do not like me. That's the story of my life." - Senor
"Have you checked the numbers yet yet? Did I just say yet yet twice... yet yeti yet..." - Weston
"I know lots of big words, like.... nyuhh..." - Keith
"I'm a liberal Republican." - Lucky
"That's called being a 'Democrat'." - me
"That's what, whatshername, Brian said." - Senor
Newest Quotes!!
· “Charles…” – Mrs. Riffle speaking of Charles’ Law
“In Charge!” – David
·
“I can listen with my ears and draw with my eyes.” – Randy
· “I stole Mrs. Diction’s Jenkinsary!” – me
· “Sperm are cute. Cuter than puppies.” – Ryan
“Mommy! I want a sperm for Christmas!” – me
·
The sentence preceding this sentence has not yet been written.” – Aalap
· “Come to college with me.” – Thommy
“Where?” – David
“Boston University.” – Thommy
“Boston College?” – David
“No…Boston University.” – Thommy
“They’re the same thing.” – David
“No Dave…they are not.” – Thommy
·
“Do that thing you do so well.” – Ms. Bush
“But where will we get sea otters this time of day?” - me
·
“The 13th amendment was ratified on December 18, 1865, exactly 120 days before I was born.” – Anna
· We listen to bio music in techno class.” – Anna
Couple at Ruby Tuesday’s:
“How far are you from getting a degree?” – guy
“One hour.” – girl
·
“You had four scores with Abraham Lincoln.” – Ryan L
“Seven years ago.” – Katie
·
“Not only can you not spell crap without rap, but you can’t spell chip chop without hip hop. I figured this out in US.” – Katie
“You are a fucking moron.” – Ryan L
·
“My top college choices are Rice, Carnegie-MELON, mmm…KFC…” – me ·
“I’m going to KFC to take Biscuit 101…I have a PhD in Bicuitology…I’m a doctor of biscuits and my first child, the one with all the recessive genes, is named Biscuit.” – Anna, me, Katie and Ryan L in a free period ·
“No matter what story it is, or what it’s about, Freud will say you want to sleep with your mother. Freud never let details like… plot… get in his way.” – me ·
“In 8th grade did you go to England or Britain?” – Weston ·
“Look at #25! I mean 12 – I’m just dyslexic…and wrong.” – Morgan ·
“What’s the difference between the Marines and the Navy?” – me
“Well, the Marines use submarines and the Navy fly in the air.” – my mum
·
“My glove is bigger than yours!” – Mr. Shaulis ·
“He was the mother of the Virgin Mary.” – Señor ·
“Oh my God! There were all these…re-…leopards jumping at my feet! It’s like Jurassic Park 2 in there!” – Weston running out of the greenhouse
“Leopards?” – Amber
“Reptiles, whatever…” – Weston
·
Ninety-nine point ninety-nine times out of ten it is imperfecto.” – Señor
· Despoblar does not have a negative connotation, it just means to kill everyone.” – Señor
· “They were like drug dealers, except with fish.” – Weston
· “I heard it out of the corner of my eye.” – Anna
· “You sexy beast.” – Mr. Shaulis to David
· “I can be sinister wearing mittens!” – Morgan
· “I’ve known many a junkie…” – Jane
· “My three favorite cities are New York, Boston and California.” – Jon
· “Horizontical integration!” – me
· “Is the game called Jingo because of jingoism?” – Jane
“It’s JENGA, Jane.” – me
· “So, Duck…” – me speaking to Jane
· “Hooray! Man boobies!!” – me
· “This is so so stupid.” – Min-Jeong
· “When is tomorrow?!” – Thommy
· “Alert! Alert!” – Sameer the bacteria
· “I think I lost my keys…no, really, I think I lost my keys…seriously…” – Anna (famous last words)
Just a little explanation for the Quotebook - they're always funnier if your read them outloud. Think you've spotted a mistake? Want to add your own quote? Parle avec moi!