Humor
This section contains some DBZ jokes and a few funny pictures. If you need a laugh or two, this is the section for you. (I didn't mean for that to rhyme.) Anyway, here we go.We also have a good since of humor and will add jokes!
By Me
An Unlikely DBZ Christmas List
Mr. Satan: A Comb
Vegeta: Book entitled "Dealing with your Hurts and Anger"
Goku: Chess Set
Chichi: Wonderbra
Goten: Book entitled "How to Talk to Girls"
Chibi Gohan: Book entitled "Finding your Idol"
Trunks: Hair dye
Kuririn: Hair curlers
Furiza: A coupon for one free makeover ("I feel Pretty!")
Tenshinhan: Eyepatch
Yajirobee: Jenny Craig
Mr. Popo: Backstreet Boys CD
Piccolo: Book entitled "Coping with a Lack of Genitalia"
Once upon a time Vegeta went to the mall. Bulma had told him to pick up a few things. It was the Christmas season and he saw the perfect gift for Goku. A woman was picking it up and he quickly shot her with a low power Galick-Ho. He picked the gift from the smoking body and looked around for gifts for Chichi and Bulma. He decided on shoes. He picked up some Birkenstocks for Chichi and a businessman told him that those shoes were poorly made. Vegeta took this as a critique to his skills in picking merchandise and the businessman was soon dead in the aisle. He went and looked for some open-toe platform shoes for Bulma and found some. Unfortunately they were already in a man's bag. He shot the man with a Renzokou Energy Dan and took the shoes. He got a toy train for Trunks, killing a happy couple, and went to the line. It was too long, and he leaped up in the air and charged up, releasing a 100,000 power energy bolt at the crowd. He walked up the line and paid for the stuff. He thought it cost too much and shot the cashier in the head with one finger. Not wanting to be arrested for stealing, he left $50 on the counter and flew home.
You Might Watch Too Much DBZ If...
...you call your girlfriend Bulma
...you have an orange gi with blue accessories
...during a schoolyard fight, you decide to charge while your opponent goes for a punch
...you spend your days shouting "Final Flash" and throwing yellow-colored erasers
...you own the complete set of the Dragon Ball manga
...you know intricate details of the show, like how many steps it took for Kuririn to get to Yajirobee's sword
...your name is Radditz
...you have legally changed your name to that of your favorite DBZ character
...you believe in Kami
...you have dreams of dying so that you can get to meet Enma
...you have planned out the walk on Snake Way
...you wear a gi, a karate belt, writbands, and continuously clench your fists
...you have tried to make a gravity machine
...you're reading this
Taken from Planet Namek
Gokuu: "Vegeta, you should reconsider. Knight to C-6 allows for mate in 14 moves."
Gokuu: "Chi-chi, I've had enough with this 'my-son-has-to-study-every-damn-day' bullshit."
Gokuu: "No, please. I couldn't eat another bite!"
Gokuu: "Well, this guy is clearly invincible and we don't stand a chance. I give up."
Gokuu: "Are you just using me for my body, Chi-chi?"
Gokuu: "I'm converting to Judaism."
Gokuu: "Did you know that in some countries in Africa, children don't even have enough food to live?"
Gokuu: "Chi-chi, for our anniversary, I got reservations at the most exclusive restaurant in town. Afterwards, we can take luxuriously calm carriage ride through the park, and retire in the hot springs of Hakone."
Gokuu: *after SSJ transformation* "Whoa, the legend is true! My head isn't the only part with golden hair!"
Gohan: "You guys never listen to me! You're the worst parents ever!"
Gohan: "Yesterday I smoked pot."
Gohan: "Leave me alone, I'm spanking the dolphin!"
Gohan: "Woodland creatures make me horny."
Gohan: "Mom! Just shut the hell for a second and listen to me!"
Goten: "I can't get any play!"
Chi-chi: "Gokuu, I love you for who you are, and you're perfect!"
Chi-chi: "C'mon Gokuu, let's go do a little 'sparring' together" *wink*
Chi-chi: "Gokuu, the firmness of your body is truly exciting me."
Mr. Popo: "Kami-sama, after much thought, I've decided to join the Nation of Islam."
Kami-sama: "Actually, I never really liked that 'Gokuu' character from day one."
Vegeta: "This blush really accentuates my cheeckbones."
Vegeta: "Wow, with life perspective, this whole 'saiya-jin pride' mumbo-jumbo seems totally pointless."
Vegeta: "You know what they say about guys wil big foreheads..."
Vegeta: "To make up for all I've done, I'm going to become a charity worker for children's aid."
Vegeta: "Gokuu, I think it's time I came out of the closet. I've been attracted to you since the day we met, but with all the pressures of society, I was unable to express my true feelings for fear of rejection. Instead, I channeled all my anger at society towards you. Wow, it's great to get that off my chest. Can we still have a meaningful relationship?"
Vegeta: "Bulma, I'm beginning to doubt my ability to... perform."
Vegeta: "I really ought to see a barber."
Vegeta: "Wow, pulling nosehairs is tremendously painful!"
Vegeta: "Oh sure, I may act macho, but *sob* deep down, I'm really sensitive, and I'm hurting."
Brolly: "Maybe I should lay off the Weight Gainer's 2000 formula."
Brolly: "You know what would be really cool? Imagine what I would look like with red contact lenses!"
Paragus: "Hey, Brolly, get this! Your name resembles the word Broccoli, and mine resembles Asparagus! Guess we have more in common than being father and son, eh?"
Kuririn: "I am SO sexy."
Kuririn: "All my life I've been in Gokuu's shadow. This is going to end here and now!"
Kuririn: "Perhaps I should reconcile with Piccolo in order to lead a less stressful life."
Kuririn: "Wow, I never noticed it before, but my head bears an incredibly strong resemblance to a bowling ball!"
Mutenroshi: "Kuririn, please. I'm not interested in lurid pictures of women."
Mutenroshi: "No, it's OK Bulma. Put your bra back on and let's talk this through."
Bulma: "Alright Roshi, you, me, and the bathroom. Let's go!"
Bulma: "I could drop you like a sac of potatoes!"
Bulma: "Computer? What the hell is that?"
Bulma: "I'm considering going with a more conversative, brunette look."
Piccolo: "For Halloween, I'm going to dress up as myself."
Piccolo: "Sometimes I worry about being emotionally unstable."
Piccolo: "Cowardice really turns me on."
Piccolo: *Points towards to women in a quarrel* "Catfight! Mee-oww!"
Piccolo: "My therapist says I need a vacation. I'm thinking about Hawaii."
Piccolo: "Damn, Chi-chi is a FOX!"
Dende: "I feel like doing something really evil."
Cell: "Fighting sucks. Let's go to the movies."
Cell: "Gokuu, I swear! You are the living image of my ex!"
Cell: "...for better or for worse. Until death do us part..."
Cell: "Onigiri, enough for everyone! I made them myself!"
Buu: "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner! That is what I'd really like to be..."
Nappa: "Am I cute or what?"
Radditz: "My secret? Well let's just say that every serious fighter starts their day with Cheerios."
Captain Ginyuu: "Alright Gokuu! We'll start on 3. Remember, let's keep this fight fair and square."
Kaio-sama: "Do I really sound like that?"
Kaio-sama: "I've been thinking it over, and well, my jokes really aren't cutting it anymore."
Kaio-sama: "Did any of you see Seinfeld last night? Now THAT was funny!"
Kaio-sama: "I'm a fat half-catfish-half-man with a bad sense of humor and ugly sunglasses."
Taken from Vegeta Insane
Top Ten ways on how to piss Vegeta off
10. Insult his hair-do
9. Tell him that Saiya-jins are weak
8. Try to beat up Trunks while Vegeta's around
7. Look at Bulma
6. Tell him that he'll never become the strongest
5. Tell him he's named after a vegetable
4. Tell him that you're stronger than him
3. Steal his Dragon Ball
2. Tell him that Bulma is having an affair with Goku and Furiza
1. Tell him that Kakarrot is stronger than him
Shopping for Bulma
one day vegeta was in the living room and bulma walked in."jeese vegeta your a mess,i need some stuff so could ya go to the mall and get it for me?"vegeta looking puzzled and trying to get out of it suddenly faints.bulma walks quickly into the kitchen to get goku.of course knowing that if goku's actully in the house he's in the kitchen,talking to goku she say,"goku ok,i'll let you have anything all the food you want if you...".goku drooling from the mouth because of the desire for food tells bulma to hurry up and finish,she carries on,"just blast vegeta with a "small" kamehameha to wake him up,then go shopping for these items".bulma hands the list to goku."i have to go to work ok so hurry up!!"goku walking into the livingroom about to do what bulma told him but suddenly stunned,it seems before vegeta had "fainted" that he was watching....baywatch!!!!.Again drooling from the mouth he suddenly turns of the tv when he hears chi-chi,blasts vegeta and flies out of there.
Arriving at the mall,they see the doorman he asks them if they need a map of the mall so they don't get lost,of course this hurting vegeta's pride he step on the guys foot,after the guy screaming he whispers big bang attack,the guy already cussing asks him what the heck he just said.Vegeta replies,"big bang attack!!!!!!" the doorman flying through many buildings with a hole in the chest doesn't seem to be a bother anymore so they walk inside,seeing all the stores they decide to go to and get panties first!!.vegeta looking confused asking what "victoria's secret" is,they open the map looking, they find it.Going to the shop they enter,finding several ladies looking at their mucles and bodies,vegeta says"i think the think we're crazy!"Goku getting pist decides to let loose decides to scream kaio-ken x 4000
in a flash he takes out the fat lady holding the wonderbra,straight to the small old lady holding the small purple panties.now vegeta's turn he let's loose with a gatlic gun and destroys the cashier and everything else except for the exact thing bulma wanted,goku softly lays a 20 on the burnt counter and askes for change,then suddenly goes super saiyan when the dead cashier won't give him the he rips up the counter getting his change and flying of wit vegeta,after they destroyed half the mall they have one more shop to go to,it's.....toys'r'us they have to get something for trunks and goten.wanting to get it overwith they fuse and go ssj4.destroying everything in their path they finally reach the poke'mon cards
waiting to long in line gogeta rises and takes the energy from the parents waiting in line and uses it to make a small spirit bomb.then leaves and gets home just in time,everyone is happy until the police show up,vegeta not wanting bulma to know what he'd done steps outside with the police,four police officers standing there holding a warrant for his arrest,he looks around turns ssj,then just barely yells final flash so the neighbors won't get pist,it takes of the two officers in the middle,when thwe other two pull their guns vegeta gets scared,then goku steps out,this pissing him off even more because they think they are stronger,he simply yells ryu ken!!(dragonfist)a yellow burning dragon go's through both officers,goku thinking about what he just did,breaks out crying,vegeta nealing down beside him softly comforts him in his time of need then shouts i'm the prince of the saiyans and yooooooouuuuur nooot!! blasting goku two miles
created by *ssj4gogeta
you to much of a dbz fan if.....
...you jump of you roof to reach king ki
...you jump of your school whil yelling nimbus!
... you named your iguana ickeris
...on a ballot to vote for president,you wrote goku and circle it
...your name is ssj4gogeta and you claim to have beatenthe evil shenlons and saved the world from destruction
*created by ssj4gogeta,be happy :)*
Top ten reasons to make Vegeta President
10. You will be able to kick ass without any worry from the cops
9. Saiya-jins will always win lawsuits
8. Uncensored Dragon Ball
7. "Saiya-jins" are now part of the military
6. Riots all the way
5. Vice president Ryo Horikawa, commander in chief Brian Drummond
4. Short yet angry speeches
3. One solution for every problem: Just blow the whole thing up
2. Capsule Corporation beats everyone in the industry!
1. Vegeta looks cool in a suit ^_^
I don't know who to give credit to on this, I think it's from Planet Namek though.
